Title: Baby Steps - Chapter 4 of Maybe When...
Author: Xionin
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Disclaimer: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.
Summary: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

Baby Steps

After spending much of the previous day on a binge to end all binges-

Seriously. The amount of food Spike put away when he went downstairs that afternoon should have had him running for the nearest bottle of Pepto. Instead he grinned like a maniac, enjoying a looted smorgasbord of Twinkies, Oodles of Noodles, Cheez Whiz and other 'health foods'.

- Spike gathered his few belongings from the basement of the Summers home, placed them in a knapsack and followed Giles back to the Astor. He felt, and isn't this precious, that he shouldn't "woo a young lady whilst living under the same roof with her." Buffy had pouted profusely, using the rising cost of hotel rooms as leverage to keep him there. Of course, when he and Giles reminded her that the innkeeper had skipped town and left the keys at the door, she had not a leg to stand on. She reluctantly let him move out.

On the way to the hotel, Giles attempted to corner Spike into an impromptu interview, but the former-vampire was distracted by the setting sun. It had been a number of years since he'd experienced one, and he suddenly felt a little sad that he hadn't thought to share such an important moment with the Slayer. Giles noticed his sudden melancholy.

"Spike?" He frowned and placed his arm on the blonde's shoulder, which took them both by suprise. Spike stopped and looked at him.

"Rupes?" Giles quickly removed his hand, as if it had been burned.

"Sorry. I, er...are you alright?" He glanced him over.

"Yeah, no worries." Spike turned back to the bronze horizon.

"Good...good." They resumed their walking for a few paces and then Giles stopped again. "It's just-" Spike stopped and turned to him.

"Yes?"

"You seem so...distant...all of a sudden." Spike's eyes narrowed and then he burst into a brilliant smile that caused Giles to take an involuntary step back.

"You're worried?" Spike tilted his head. "About moi?" He snorted. Giles cleared his throat and resumed his pace.

"Well, no...but you have been through quite a lot." He offered. "And I don't think Buffy would forgive me if anything...were to...happen to you."

"Ah...well-" Spike fell into step with the Watcher. "Feelin's mutual." He looked off thoughtfully at the quickly-disappearing sun. Giles glimpsed the former-vamp out of the corner of his eye and turned to face him.

"You...really care for her. Don't you." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah." Spike didn't look at him when he answered the rhetorical question. Giles stopped again and this time Spike turned to face him. The expression on his face said that he was expecting a lecture.

"Spike...what are your...intentions, towards Buffy?" Giles' paternal tone both amused and angered Spike.

"What do you bloody well think, Rupert?" He tried to calm his rising ire.

"Well, to be honest, I don't know what to think about any of this."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spike's eyes hardened.

"Well, er, you're a vampire and then you're not. You claim to be in love with Buffy and then you attack her." Giles knew that Spike would bristle at that so he turned away ever-so-slightly. "You ran away, like a coward, and came back with a soul - one which we still don't know how o-or why you were cursed with." Spike held up his hand, but Giles continued. "You claim to be one of the good guys, but th-then you become a lackey for the First, killing innocents, you say not of your own free will. You assume a role that Angel was evidently meant to play in this latest battle, and you offer up your...er...life." He turned back to the now seething Spike. "And now this." He opened his palms indicating the blonde across from him. "What sort of game is this, then?"

Spike's jaw dropped open.

Game? What...GAME? Was he bloody kidding?

"Watcher." His voice was trembling with rage, but he kept it barely above a whisper which put Giles' nerves on edge. "You. Are. A. Bleedin. Idiot!" He screamed the last word and Giles jumped. Spike turned around abruptly and ran his hands roughly through his hair. When he spun back around, Giles was in a defensive stance. He couldn't help it. He laughed.

He laughed so hard that tears were running down his cheeks.

"What's so bloody funny?" Giles' face began to get red. Spike was such a cheeky bastard.

"Y-y-you!" Spike slowly regained his composure and he straightened up to face the older man. "You are a right bloody piece of work. What was all of that back there, eh? 'Well Spike-" He affected Giles' uppercrust British accent perfectly, it being not so far from his original one. "You certainly are full of surprises, ol' chum."

"I most certainly did not call you-"

"No." Spike suddenly turned serious. "You didn't. What you did do was put on quite a show for the Slayer and the others."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Giles turned to walk away, but Spike's arm stopped him. He stepped right up into his face and Giles straightened up to his full height. It didn't diminish Spike's presence one bit, which made him uneasy.

"You want to know what I'm 'up to'?" Giles nodded. "Fine." He stepped back, drew a deep breath and shook his head. "I can't bloody well believe this...fine."

"What I'm up to is my neck. I am sick of jumping through hoops for you an the whelp. I'm done. Not doing it anymore. Did you not hear what Red said back there? I've been released! Bloody cleansed, you buggering sod!

"I-I don't...know...if I deserve all of this or not, but I am not going to bloody well throw up my hands and walk away. I haven't been myself for over a 'undred bloody years. Do you have any-" He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them, Giles body language had softened some. It caused him to come down off his guard as well.

"You could never imagine...You want to know what sort of game this is? This is the game of life. My life. I'm alive!" He inhaled audibly through his nose. "Giles." He stepped closer to him and his voice dropped to a near-whisper. "Rupert.

"I am alive and I am in love with your daughter...and she is, you know. Yours." Giles looked down, obviously uncomfortable. "Doesn' matter...all that stuff before...doesn' matter, she still loves you and looks at you like a father. God knows her real one's a good for nothin'..."

Giles smiled before he could stop himself. "Yeah, he is." They both chuckled lightly. "You still say you're in love with her?" Spike's smile faded quickly and he looked the Watcher in the eye.

"You tell me." They studied each other for long minutes.

"I believe you are." Spike swallowed hard and fought the tears that threatened. He didn't harbor the delusion that he and Giles would ever be close, but he didn't want to put Buffy in another scenario where she would have to choose. He knew, without a doubt, that she would choose him; and that was something he didn't wish on anyone that loved her, that kind of rejection.

"I am. And...I think she could love me too. I just want the chance to make her happy, y'know?" Giles nodded. Slowly, they began to walk again. "By the way, I wasn't cursed with the soul."

"Pardon?" Giles stopped and turned to him confused.

"I said I wasn't cursed with it." Spike then stopped and turned back to the perplexed Watcher. "I'm not like the Poof."

"I-I don't understand, then how-"

"I asked for it. Went to Africa. Met up with a nasty bloke there. Demon. Did some trials and abracadabra: shiny new soul."

Giles took a few moments to scrape his jaw off the asphalt and then he stuttered out a few incomprehensible words. He cleared his throat and had more success on his second attempt.

"Why...er...would you do such a thing?" At the question, Spike's eyebrows rose and he tilted his head.

"You mean...you haven't a clue in that Watcher brain of yours?" He waited, watching the wheels turn. The astonished expression that appeared on the other man's face made him wish he had a camera handy.

"You did it...f-for her?" His eyes went wide and a small smile crept onto his lips as he removed his glasses and peered at the man before him with new eyes. "Oh. My. Lord. Spike! That's-" His voice rose with his rising excitement. "That's...well, it's incredible. Does Buffy know?"

"Yeah, she's known since the beginning."

"Well no bloody wonder!" ...'she kept defending you,' was the unfinished thought.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm- truly speechless, Spike. I had...no idea. None."

"Would it have made a difference?"

"Oh, I should say so! There's nothing in the history of your kind that suggests that such a thing has even been attempted, much less done!"

"I meant-"

"Oh..." Giles replaced his glasses and studied the ground for a moment. "Well..."

"If she had told you, you wouldn't have bloody believed her, and you know it."

"No, Spike, I would have believed...that she believed it, you're absolutely right." Giles tightened his lips and shook his head. Spike was right, he wouldn't have believed it if he'd known before. He was a little disgusted with himself.

"S'alright, Watcher. Kinda flies in the face of everything you knew and all." Spike smiled a little. Giles inhaled deeply and looked at the former-demon with something akin to awe.

"She's right." He tilted his head at the blonde, who stared back confused. "You are bloody amazing." Spike smiled brightly then and laughed softly, as did Giles. They fell into step once more, laughing at their own prejudices and stupidity.

"So...what's this I hear about a date?"

"Oh, well...I asked her out right proper. I'm taking her somewhere special...and romantic."

"Er, not to burst your bubble, er, Spike, but there isn't much to do in a deserted town."

"Oh, I'll think of something." Spike said absentmindedly. Giles arched an eyebrow as imagnings of various possibilities danced through his head.

"I-i'm sure I'd rather not know." He grinned.

"Hey now! I'll have you know I plan to be a perfect gentleman. It'll be romantic but all above board." Giles laughed at the idea of Spike's injured pride. Things were certainly odd at the moment, what with him being nearly human.

"Well, if you need anything...help and such..." Spike stopped one last time, stunned. Giles kept walking, knowing the blonde was behind him...and why. He refused to stop and commence the male-bonding that seemed to be on the verge of breaking out. Mortal or not, tolerating Spike was hard enough. Coming to like him was a task of gargantuan proportions: he needed to take baby steps.

Realizing he wasn't going to stop for him, Spike jogged up and fell into step once more. He couldn't help the boyish grin that was plastered on his face: approval of the father. 'Not bad, Spike my boy,' he thought to himself. 'Not bad.'

TBC Chapter 5: Is This Tree Taken?