Disclaimer: Ayashi no Ceres belongs to Watase Yuu. Don't own so don't sue.
Warnings: This fic contains spoilers as the foundation of my fic is based loosely on the anime/manga. Nevertheless, the content will become dissimilar in future chapters to come.
Notes: Chapter Three's ending has been modified ever so slightly. Please read again if you have the time, okie? Mucha mucha thanks!
To:
All readers ~ My sincerest apologies to all of you for not updating this fiction for more than a month. I hadn't abandoned this fic, simply because I never abandon any of my work. Nevertheless, I have to admit that I lost the motivation to write after Chapter Three, mainly because the pressure of rewriting the whole story kinda overwhelmed me a little. And then I got caught up with work, education and *hides sheepishly* my other Slam Dunk fics so I kinda shelved this fic for a very long while.
I still love Tooya x Aki though!!! If not, I would never have started on this fic, and I promise you I will complete this. Unfortunately, I'm very very very sorry to say, I shall be taking a break from updating any fics because my exams are coming this April. So once again, my apologies for having to lurk again after this.
Nonetheless, rests assure that all your encouragements and long reviews will be staying with me and no matter what, I will finish this story.
Oh dear, I think I've said too much already. Should have used the text for the story instead…
And now, just a couple of feedback to my reviewers ~
Lina Inverse ~ Thank you for reading even though you're not into yaoi. ^^ Am glad you think this is good writing!
Hana no Ceres ~ *grins* Me thinks Tooya x Aki is kinda cute… that's why I'm writing about this pairing… ^___________^
Rhapsody ~ *sheepish grin* Yeah, your comment gave me pause and I was actually questioning my ability (and sanity!!) on whether I could really accomplish this difficult task. But as I reread the reviews, I realized that I just could not abandon you guys, and thus, I present to you Chapter Four! I've also modified Chapter Three's ending so that Aya's feelings for Aki overshadows her feelings for Tooya, do let me know if this is better, okie?
EeGuaNa ~ I hope you're still reading this! Eheheh, sorry sorry sorry for not updating sooner…
natacha ~ Thank you so much for making my story the one that you post your first review. ^^ And yes, I do intend to focus a whole lot more on Aki (though not as much in this chapter) because I wholeheartedly agree that he is sadly overshadowed and under-valued in the anime/manga. Sheesh, even Shiso gets more actions…
chinoz ~ Wah!! Complicated storyline!!! I'm having trouble just trying to rewrite the script!! But if this goes well, I won't mind doing another AnC fic one day… yaoi of course! ^_______^
^_^ ~ My smiling anonymous reviewer… your review for an update was undoubtedly a pleasant surprise. Thank you very very much.
Silvermagess ~ Thanks… your unexpected review helped too! Hopefully, this chapter will explain just what Aya thinks about erm… Tooya loving another guy. ^^
* * *
Chapter Four ~ The Honest Truth
"Hey Aya… you don't look so good. Are you alright? Did Tooya do anything to you last night?"
"I'm fine. But thanks for asking."
Leaning her head against the headrest, Aya Mikage closed her eyes with the hope that the gesture would discourage Yuuhi from talking. Unfortunately, the young man had his eyes on the road and missed the none-too-subtle hint.
"Are you sure? You look kinda pale to me…"
"I told you, I'm fine."
The unexpected harshness startled Yuuhi and he had to swerve to avoid an incoming collision. As the car skidded to a stop right next to the pavement, both occupants breathed in heavily at their near fatal accident. The stricken look on Aya's face touched a chord in Yuuhi and he found himself flushing guiltily for not paying attention whilst driving. But before he could express his sincere apologies, Aya burst into tears, leaving a bewildered Yuuhi looking on helplessly.
After several seconds of staring in shock, Yuuhi tentatively reached out to touch Aya's shoulder in a bid to comfort her. The boy then gave a loud gasp of in surprise when Aya suddenly launched herself on him as she cried her eyes out. Initially, Yuuhi thought it was the near-death experience that was the cause of Aya's distress, but her incoherent mumbling of Tooya and Aki's names made little sense to that assumption.
With her face against the lapels of Yuuhi's jacket, Aya's mind replayed the conversation she had earlier with Tooya.
/Flashback/
"Tooya…"
"No wait, let me. About last night… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have behaved in such an inconsiderate manner."
"No, there's no need for you to apologize… You… you merely told me the truth. I should be the one to apologize for behaving like a spoilt child."
"Aya…"
"It's okay, I'm alright. Really."
"That boy… Yuuhi… he called early this morning and I gave him my address. He'd be here to pick you up in thirty minutes."
"Oh… Thank you."
"Aya…"
She cut him off before he could continue. Hanging on to Tooya's arm in a death grip, Aya's blue eyes held Tooya's as she pleaded, "Tooya… what you said last night… about loving Aki… did you mean what you said?"
There was not the slightest hint of hesitation in the man's voice as he answered evenly, "Every single word."
The slender arm dropped limply as Aya avoided Tooya's gaze, "Oh."
"I swear I'll bring him back to you."
"Why?"
Tooya blinked in surprise but as Aya continued, he realized that they were thinking different thoughts.
"Why does he mean so much to you?"
"Because I love him."
/End Flashback/
"Aya! Stop crying, please. You're scaring me!"
The gentle but persistent shake of her shoulders brought Aya back to the present. Staring up into Yuuhi's worried gaze, Aya let loose a mirthless laugh as she mumbled sadly, "Yuuhi… Tooya, he… he told me last night that the one he loves is not me, but my brother Aki."
"Aki?!"
Fingering the soft material of Yuuhi's jacket, Aya dropped her eyes as she continued, her tone distinctively softer now, "And it hurts… it hurts so much…"
Fresh tears spilled from Aya's cobalt orbs and Yuuhi gently cradled the girl in his arms as he continued muttering words of comfort, "Sssh… it's going to be okay. I'm here for you, remember?"
"But I want him to love me!"
/And I want you to love me…/
Despite the hurt he was feeling after hearing Aya's insistence, Yuuhi kept his thoughts to himself as his arms around the girl tightened. He knew Aya would not appreciate hearing his confession right now, not when she was emotionally wounded for being… dumped by her crush in favour of her brother.
Inwardly Yuuhi gave a tired sigh, love was such a complicate game to play…
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Blond hair fell softly across the pillow as bright blue eyes stared listlessly upwards at the white ceiling. Night had fallen, and yet Aya found herself unable to drift off to dreamland. Her thoughts were still in turmoil and the worried gaze thrown in her direction by Yuuhi doing dinner had in retrospect, brought forth alien emotions. Unfamiliar feelings that even Aya could not put a finger to. It was a cross between pain and regret. Pain for seeing his pain, and regret for being the cause of the hurt.
Perhaps… perhaps she cared for Yuuhi more than she was willing to admit to herself…
Not liking the direction her mind was going, Aya quickly turned her thoughts back to Tooya as she pushed away the earlier thought. She only cared for Yuuhi as she would a good friend, because that was what he was, a good friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
Holding up her right hand into the air, Aya started tracing Tooya's outline as she mused softly to herself into the empty room, "I thought I could ignore the tug of my heartstrings, but I cannot… Oh gods, but I love you so much… if only, if only you would love me in return…"
"And Aki? What happened to the 'blood in thicker than water' conclusion?"
She gave a slight shake of her head, as if willing her conscience to leave her alone. But the tiny voice in her head merely grew louder.
"You are nothing more than a selfish spoilt brat. How dare you claim to love your brother and still insist on conquering Tooya's love when he does not feel anything for you? What if Aki were to love Tooya in return? Would you still persist in trying to attract Tooya's affection knowing fully well that you will be the cause for multiple heartaches?"
Placing both hands over her ears, Aya let loose her frustration as she screamed into the empty room, "Shut up, just shut up!"
The tiny voice in her head fell silent and the room suddenly felt strangely empty. A choking sob escaped Aya's lips just as her gaze fell onto the present Aki had bought for her. After the initial hesitation, she finally opened the box and resting among the soft cotton was the same pair of crimson-coloured earrings that she had bought for Aki.
The tears slid down her cheeks as Aya buried her face in her hands…
They looked and thought alike, as identical twins usually are.
But like most fraternal twins, their minds and souls were inseparable.
She loved him. There was no longer the nagging doubt in Aya's heart. She had always known that she loved Aki; loved and worshipped him with every single breathing and living fiber of her soul. And with that unconditional love, Aya knew she could not bear to hurt Aki, any more than Aki could bear to hurt her.
Aya's heart suddenly lightened, as if a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders. A soft chuckle escaped from within and Aya found herself envisioning Tooya as she offered the man a stern warning.
"Hurt my brother, and you will suffer my wrath. This I swear on my father's grave."
t.b.c.
