A/N: Mwa ha ha ha . . . It is I, MoMo-ChAn! And I have written . . . THE CHOU AND SAITOU CHAPTER! **Does Megumi laugh, then gets bombarded by lawyers** Let's go on to the disclaimer, shall we?

Disclaimer: RK doesn't belong to us. Neither does Black Tiger (Sorcerer Stabber Orphen) or Sephy, Vinnie, Cloud, and the moogle (Final Fantasy series). We also hold no possession over Narnia and it's characters.

*__* - thoughts

"__" - speaking

Kimodameshi: a collaboration fic between aku-chan and MoMo-ChAn



Aku-chan absent-mindedly adjusted her sunglasses. Behind her was the newly repainted dollhouse. It was no longer that AWFUL pink color, but a lovely shade of grey. Aku-chan looked at Kupo-chan who looked at MoMo-ChAn who absent-mindedly wondered why there are so many chans. Aku-chan (LOOKIE! IT'S A CHAN) coughed and nudged the moogle. Giving a small glare at his mistress, Kupo-chan stepped forward.

"Who has the four card?"

Everyone looked at his or her cards. Chou, who had somehow magically appeared, raised his card confusedly. Saitou, off in his demented little world by the tree, showed his four card.

"So . . . Chou and Saitou get to go on Kimodameshi!" cried MoMo-ChAn, her Sephy doll held to her chest and the REAL Sephiroth by her side.

"I don't want to go," said Saitou, flicking away his cigarette.

"FIRE HAZARD! PUT IT OUT RED MANTLE!" screamed aku-chan. Red Mantle flies in on a giant beetle and stomps out the cigarette.

"Where did you get the giant beetle?" asked aku-chan.

Blushing faintly, Red Mantle said, "I kinda borrowed it from BLACK TIGER."

"Black Tiger? Isn't he like . . . a master at the Tower of Fang?"

"Well yes, but he still lives his dream as: BLACK TIGER."

MoMo-ChAn coughed and gestured to Saitou and Chou.

"I don't want to do this stupid Kimodameshi thing."

"Oh come on, Chou, it could be fun!" said aku-chan

"There's no point to it," said Saitou.

"YOU UNDERSTAND!" cried Kupo-chan.

"If you don't cooperate then Sephy will have to force you," said MoMo-ChAn, pointing to Sephiroth.

"Who said I was going to help you?"

"I'll give you as many Cloud clones as you want."

"Deal." Sephiroth glared at Saitou and Chou. They didn't budge. Sephiroth stepped forward. Nothing. Sephiroth unsheathed the beautiful Masamune and held it at his side. Still no reaction! Now he raised it in an attacking position. Saitou just unsheathed his own sword and held it in a Gatotsu style 1. Deciding that this could take forever, Sephiroth took out a Manipulate Materia and manipulated Chou and Saitou to obey MoMo and aku-chan.

"You couldn't have done so from the beginning?"

"No."

"You are so cool."

Saitou and Chou were standing at the entrance to the Kimodameshi path. Kupo-chan walked up to them, a map in his hands. * This gets boring . . . * Here's your map. Be careful. * Yadda yadda . . . I just wanna go HOME . . . *

"Yes . . ."

"Bye-bye!" said MoMo and aku, waving as Saitou and Chou entered the Kimodameshi path.

***ON THE PATH***

Saitou blinked and shook his head. Chou did the same. The realized they were now in a dark forest with LOTS of snow around.

"HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE?!" shouted Chou.

Saitou just looked at him and continued on. Chou snorted. * Stupid, uppity piece of . . . Why does HE have to be my partner? *

"What the hell is this?"

Chou walked up and squinted as he looked up a tall, metallic thingy that gave off light. It was a really bright light. Chou looked at Saitou.

"You work for the police, don't you know? Can't you figure it out?"

Saitou just glared at him. "If I did, would I have asked?"

Just then an odd little man trotted up. He was half man half goat. A faun or a satyr, if you will. His warm, beady little eyes sized up Saitou and Chou, who were about three times his size.

"Ohh . . . Are you two Sons of Adam?" said the goat creature.

"What the hell?" said Saitou. Chou merely scratched his head.

"Oh. Then you're not Sons of Adam?"

"Who are you?" asked Chou, pushing Saitou behind him.

"Oh, didn't I introduce myself? I am Tumnus, Tumnus the Faun."

"I see. And can you tell us what this metal thingy is?"

"That's the light post. They say it's been there since the beginning of Narnia, when Aslan was here," the faun said in a hushed voice.

"And what is Narnia?" said Saitou.

The faun gave a little chuckle. "Why, this is Narnia."

"I guessed as much. But where is Narnia?"

The faun stared at Saitou like he was an idiot. Chou cleared his throat and crouched down to meet the faun eye to eye.

"Have you ever seen a grey dollhouse that used to be pink?"

The faun stared at Chou as if he were an idiot as well. After darting his eyes around a bit, he said, "My house isn't far from here, would you like to join me for a cup of tea?"

"Tea?" said Saitou and Chou said in unison. "I don't do tea," said Chou. "I only go for good hard sake!" And because I, MoMo-ChAn, wish it, we shall have a flashback . . .

**FLASHBACK**

Chou was about fifteen years old. He was dressed rather poorly and his hair was only 1 foot tall! He's on his way to being a hoogi-atama! (Roughly means broom head) He looked at the people as they passed him, staring at their purses. Finding a rather plump one attached to a drunk man (WOW, A DRUNK WITH MONEY!) and smiled.

"He he he he he . . ." snickered Chou, as he approached the drunk. Unfortunately for him, the drunk noticed him and . . .

"HEY!" cried the drunk, "IS MY DRINKIN' BUDDY!"

Grabbing Chou by the neck, he dragged him to the nearest bar.

"OI, MINNA!" shouted the drunk, "GET MY BUDDY HERE A HARD ONE!"

And, with the hard one in front of Chou and Chou not wanting to be a coward, grabbed the glass (or cup or whatever) and downed it in ONE GULP.

And therefore, instant drunkenness was invented. Oh, and Chou being an alcoholic too.

**END FLASHBACK**

Tumnus sighed. "Well, don't you want anything to eat?"

Saitou's eyes narrowed even more. "How can we trust you?" he said, unsheathing his blade. Tumnus' eyes grew wide at the shiny blade.

"You know what? Forget it," he said hastily, running into the forest.

Saitou and Chou continued. The place was seriously freaking them out. There was no noise. As they walked through the freezing cold of Narnia's winter, a sled pulled up in front of them. In the sled was the ugliest dwarf you'll ever see. And next to him was the palest woman in white fur you'll ever see. Her lips became a smirk.

"Ahh . . . so the two Sons of Adam are here. But where are the Daughters of Eve?" the white lady said.

"Sons of Adam again," said Saitou, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. The witch narrowed her eyes.

"If you are not Sons of Adam, then what are you?"

"Lost," said Chou, feeling his clothes to see if his bendy sword was still there.

"Then you're useless. I might as well turn you to stone."

"I'd kill you in an instant," said Saitou, voice even.

"Hardly."

"Well, if my partner over there doesn't get to you, I will," said Chou.

The witch frowned. "Ah, go die in the forest," she said bitterly, whipping her reindeer and going away.

"What an odd place," said Chou.

Trudging through the snow, they ran into a couple of leopards, which they killed. Walking and walking, they found the exit. Chou sighed. * Thank goodness, I was almost gonna die, being with Anti-Social Man here . . . *

It was a pink sign that marked the exit. There was a glowing green portal next to it. There was also a tree, which was covered in pink fuzzles and the unconscious Cloud. After staring at Cloud for a minute or so, Saitou pushed Chou into the portal. Seeing that it wouldn't kill him, he went through it himself.

***END***

MoMo: That was fun.

Aku: Why did you throw Volcan and Dortin away?

MoMo: I didn't want them here.

Aku: Do you think they found Cleao?

MoMo: I dunno.

Kupo: I wanna go to the Moogle caves again . . .

Aku: Homesick?

Kupo: No, but it's better than being with you.

Aku: YOU LITTLE . . .!

Vincent: Can I go now?

Aku: NO!

Sephiroth: Can I?

MoMo: Never. You'll be with me for ALL eternity . . .

Sephiroth: Damn . . .