Disclaimer: I don't own nothing…which means I own EVERYTHING!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! *gets hit on head by falling star* Owie…

Great, Dramatically Booming Voice: And now, be prepared to see the side of GM that you've never seen before!! Behold…*cheesy music plays* JOURNEY TO THE WEST-PDF STYLE!!!

Sanzo: That is so pathetically lame.

GDBV: Well, I was bored! So sue me!!

Sanzo: I just might…

GDBV: You can't. Lawyers don't exist in ancient China.

Sanzo: K'so…

GDBV: HAHAHA!! *sticks out tongue, but it can't be seen as GDBV is a voice*

Sanzo: *gets pissed anyway* BAKA!! *draws out Shiny Sanzo Gun* I'LL KILL YOU!!!

GDBV: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

~Due to some technical difficulties, all GDBV activities have temporarily ceased. The authoress and all supporting cast members apologize for the inconvenience caused. We assure you that normal programming will return shortly. Or as soon as we can pry Sanzo away from the speakers…~

*muffled screams and an abnormal amount of swearing can be heard from behind the "Ceased Transmission" sign*

(It is a beautiful Thursday morning in the realm of GM. The sunlight is sparkling off the Endless Plain of Sand, vultures are squawking nonchalantly, and the occasional youkai or two can be seen frolicking in the distance. Kanzeon is painting her nails green, Shien is braiding his hair, Ni is cackling to himself, and basically, everything is peaceful…)

Sanzo: SHIIINEEEE!!! *starts shooting at everyone and everything within a forty-mile radius* DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THOSE MUFFINS!!!!!!! THEY'RE MIIINEEEEEEE!!!!!

Goku: AHHHH!!! *dives behind rock* What was that for Sanzo?? You don't even eat breakfast!!!!

Sanzo: So? *grabs entire bag*

Goku: Saaaaanzzzooooooo…;__;

Sanzo: Urusai!! *whips out Giant Sanzo Fan of Utter Annihilation* Get your own!! *WHAP*

Hakkai: Sou desune, Goku-kun^^. It's not polite to take without asking.

Gojyo: Serves you right, bakasaru! Have you forgotten everything I told you about stealing stuff from Sanzo??!

Goku: *sniffle* Only do it if you won't get caught…

Gojyo: And??

Goku: If you're wearing protective headgear.

Gojyo: That's my monkey!! *goes teary-eyed* Oh, I'm so proud…

Hakkai: Now I know what you were holding all those night classes for^^.

Sanzo: -_-++ BAKA!!!! *WHAP*

Gojyo: ITAI!!!

(Just then, Kougaiji and his troupe of Gyakumen Angels appear)

Kougaiji: HAHA!! We are the amazing Gyakumen Angels!! Hand over the Evil Sutra and no one gets hurt!! *pulls out giant laser cannon*

Sanzo: Gyakumen…Angels…-_-;;;

Hakkai: That's an interesting name^^!

Kougaiji: Well, it was either that or the Powerpuff Pretties…we didn't exactly get a lot of choice…

Goku: Waaaah!! Sugoi!! I wanna be one too!! Puh-leeeeeeze!! Sanzo??

Sanzo: URU-

Yaone: Ano…Sanzo-sama. Please…let me do the honours…*takes out huge, overly exaggerated mallet* HAAAAI!! *BONK*

Goku: X) Mou…no more buns…can't eat any…more…

All: oO

Kougaiji: Woah…Yaone…never knew you had it in you…

Yaone: ^^

Gojyo: Scary…I like it! *kappa-type grin*

Kougaiji: Keep your mind off my accomplices!! *shoots a giant beam of purple light at Gojyo* SHIIINEEEEEEE!!!!

Gojyo: *stares at purple beam as it whizzes off into the distance a good twenty feet away from where he is standing* You may be a prince, but your sense of direction is as bad as the saru's!!

Goku/Kougaiji: Hey!!!!

(About 100 miles away, Homura & co. are on their way back from the Laundromat)

Homura: *staggering under weight of 10000000.5-tonne plastic bag* This is the last time I agree to get the laundry done…

Shien: Sou yo…

(Suddenly, a beam of purple shoots out from nowhere and strikes the bag)

Homura: SHIT!! *inspects damage* It ruined Kanzeon's favourite dress!! *holds up what used to be a flowery dress with large, elaborate bows and frills and the words "Kanzie Rulz" sewn in bright orange lettering* She's gonna have me mow her lawn for centuries to come!!!

Zeon: Why do you have her dress??!! *imagines all sorts of weird stuff*

Homura: Not like that, hentai!! *gags* Geez, you're getting as bad as Kenren…

Shien: What should we do, Homura-sama?

Homura: Take over the world, of course!! *strikes dramatic pose* Then, I'll finally be able to gain control of Kougaiji's Hyper Demon Facility and rule all of heaven with its incredible chocolaty resources!! 

Shien: I meant…about the dress…

Homura: Oh. I knew that…*thinks* well, we could always tell her that a flock of wild geese attacked us and chose to vent their frustrations on it out of all the thousands of clothes that were with me…

Zeon: Or that a swarm of bees were attracted to the smell of her perfume and ripped it to shreds…

Homura: Or that we were attacked by a gang of youkai who were after some half-decent clothing…

Zeon: Or that it always looked that way…

Homura: Hey…good one!

Shien: Sou ka…-_-;

(Back to our heroes. Gyakumen's Angels have already left, by the way. For lunch at MacDemon's …)

Gojyo: I'm so bored…

Sanzo: *still guarding muffins viciously* Then die.

Gojyo: OO I don't wanna die!!

Sanzo: Then be bored.

Gojyo: …

Goku: Mou…Sanzo…

Sanzo: No.

Goku: Just one??

Sanzo: No.

Goku: *puppy dog eyes* Onegai?? I'm starving!!

Sanzo: *twitching* Is that right?

(A loud WHAP can be heard from 20 miles away)

Goku: @___@

Hakkai: That's why you should have kept quiet^^.

Gojyo: Bakasaru…

Goku: *miraculously revived* Who are you calling a monkey, you kappa!! *begins fighting*

Sanzo: -_-+++

Hakkai: Maa maa…too much stress is bad for your blood pressure, you know?

Sanzo: Then I guess I should let it all out. *grabs fan and gun* YOU GUYS ARE DEAD!!!!

Goku/Gojyo: AHHHHH!!! *run for their lives*

Sanzo: *shooting fanatically* SHIINNEEEEE!!!!!!

Hakkai: Well…I didn't exactly mean it in this way…^^;; Are you alright Hakuryuu?

Hakuryuu: Kyuuuu!! *smiles in a very dragon-like way*

Hakkai: Yokatta^^! Want some tea?

Hakuryuu: Kyuu!!! *nods*

(About five hours later, all of our heroes are back and are relatively alive)

Gojyo: Itai!! *rubs huge bump on head* Did you have to be so violent??! Stupid, corrupt monk wannabe!

Sanzo: *cocks gun* Just be glad I didn't hit you with this!

Hakkai: Sou^^… *downs 50th cup of tea*

Gojyo: *mutters*

Goku: I'm still hungry though…

Sanzo: Too bad.

Goku:  Waaah!! *starts crying* Foooooood!!!

Sanzo: *visibly shaking with rage*

Goku: *chants* Food! Food! Food! Food!

Sanzo: *just imagine a volcano about to erupt*

Gojyo: This won't be pretty…

Hakkai: *quickly fishes about in pockets* Goku , here-*hands over candy bar* you can eat this.

Goku: Yay!! *devours it in a gulp*

Gojyo: *restraining Sanzo, who has his gun out again* You know…bad things happen to little demons who eat too many sweets.

Goku: oO Really?

Gojyo: Sou de…look-*points to demon in distance, who is having an intense conversion with a mound of sand* Kougaiji gathers all the really stupid youkais like yourself and dumps them into a run-down, moldy old castle where they eat chocolates and cakes and muffins forever.

Goku: That sounds like paradise!!

Hakkai: It is…until they become insane.

Goku: Ore?

Gojyo: The demons get high on sugar and begin terrorizing people…destroying places…the works.

Goku: oO Really??

Sanzo: Baka!! Why else d'ya think we've been on this godforsaken journey??!!

Hakkai: We're going to shut down the facility and set all the demons free again.

Goku: OO B-but I just ate sugar!! I've been eating it all my life!!! Will I end up like them??! Oh nooooo!

Gojyo: Run, Goku! Run before it's too late!!!

Goku: AHHHHHHHHH!! I don't wanna go crazy!! *runs away like a maniac*

(Long pause)

Hakkai: Do you think we overdid it?

Gojyo: Nah…he'll be back when he gets hungry.

Hakkai: Demo…what if he gets hurt?

Sanzo: *lighting cigarette* He's too stupid to get hurt.

Hakkai: Sou ka…tea anyone?

Hakuryuu: Kyuuuu!

(At MacDemon's)

Kougaiji: Yo! Waiter-boy! Another round of Coke for us all!!

Zeon: Again?? How much can three demons drink?

Dokukakuji: A lot more than this! Now keep it comin'!!

Zeon: *goes behind counter* Damn youkais…I'd shoot them all if Kanzeon hadn't threatened to turn us into pigeons…

Shien: *in goofy-looking cap* Sou desune…Homura-sama, how long do we have to keep this up?

Homura: *with frilly pink apron and mop* A long, long time…

Shien: Oh…

(Pause)

Zeon: Well, it could have worked. S'not my fault she has such good memory…

Homura: -_-++ Shut up, Zeon…just shut up.

= And so, the day ends pointlessly with Gyakumen singing in the shower, Lirin raiding the fridge and Gyumao playing Poker with Nataku=

Gyumao: I'll see your twenty, and raise you a ten.

Nataku: HA!! *shows cards* A royal flush!! Eat that, stone face!!

Gyumao: Drat…that's the problem with playing with gods…they always win…

Nataku: HAHAHA!!! *takes out huge cymbals and begins crashing them around* I RULE!!!

Gyumao: *grumbles* Show off…

Nataku: NYAH NYAH!! P

*Hakkai pops up in a bunny costume holding up a big signboard that reads "That's all, folks!"*

*Hakkai: Eh hehehe…^^;;;*

—End fic—

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