Disclaimer:
Ritouden: pinkdragonflame does not own Gensomaden Saiyuki…I DO!! Hahahahahahahaa!!!!
Homura:……Someone kill me…
Sanzo: That could be arranged. *takes out gun*
Homura: Y'know what?
Sanzo: *putting in bullets* What?
Homura: I just realized that you can't kill me with that toy pistol of yours. See? *plays a flashback of a "Sanzo-shoots-but-can't-kill-me-cos-I'm-a-god scene"*
Sanzo:…
Zeon: NOW you tell me?? After we spent an entire half-chapter running away from something that can't even hurt us??!!!
Homura: It never occurred to me before…*shrugs*
Sanzo:…Ch'….*shoots Gojyo instead*
Gojyo: oO *runs off* No faaaair!!!
~If you're wondering why GDBV is out, *glares at Kougaiji* it's due to maintenance…nothing permanent…I hope…*brief glimpse of Hakkai, who is trying in vain to superglue the speaker back together*~
(It's morning. Not hot, not cold, not bright, not dark. Just…morning…)
Homura: I'm hungry…
Zeon: Don't say that…you sound like that Goku guy…
Homura: But I am! I haven't eaten in over two chapters!!
Zeon: Neither have we…
Homura: You lie! I know you stole Beefy Burgers from behind the counter when you thought no one was looking!
Zeon:…Was it that obvious?
Shien: Hai.
Zeon: Damn…
Homura: I want those muffins…darn that stupid selfish monk…
Shien: You could always go and buy your own.
Homura: Which store is gonna be stupid enough to sell food to a wanted fighting god?
Zeon: You don't have to tell the owner your life's history, you know?
Homura: Oh yeah…in that case, *dramatic spotlight shines from above* to the muffin shop!
Shien: Homura-sama…
Homura: Yep?
Shien: Do you have any money?
Homura: Oh gee…I must've left my wallet in my other cloak…the one with the yellow bunnies and fluffy clouds…
Zeon: Isn't that the same pattern as Kanzeon's evening gown?
Homura: Why are you so obsessed with that old hag??
Zeon: Heh…^^;;;
Shien: Disturbing…
Zeon:...Urusai -_-+…anyway…how do we pay?
Homura: Hey, that rhymed!
Zeon: -_-;;
Shien: We can't…
Zeon: Let's plunder the shop and steal their muffins then! )
Homura: That would be dishonest.
Zeon: So?
Homura: Good point…lead the way^^.
Shien: Sou ka…
-Back with our "heros" in their Jeep-
Goku: Saaaaanzoooo…I'm huuuungryyyyy! ;___;
Sanzo: Urusai…
Goku: Demmooooooooo…huuunggrryyyyyyy…-_________-
Sanzo: Say that again and you'll have nothing left to be hungry with…-_-++
Goku: oO Eep!
Gojyo: Bakasaru…
Goku: I am not a monkey!!
Gojyo: Yeah right…and the sky isn't blue…
Goku: It isn't? *blink blink*
Gojyo: Too complicated? Heh…
Sanzo:…Where are my muffins?
Goku: *guilty look* It wasn't me!
Sanzo: -_-++++ You…ate…them?
Goku: *frantically shaking head* No! No way! It was Gojyo! Honest!!!
Gojyo: And why would I want the baka's cheapskate cakes?
Hakkai: They're muffins…
Gojyo: Cakes…muffins…no big diff…
Sanzo: *taking out fan* You…ate…them?
Goku: Hehe…^^;;;;*inches further down in seat*
Sanzo: *taking out gun* YOU…ATE…THEM???!!!
(The back seat makes an odd squeaking noise as Goku disappears beneath it)
Sanzo: YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!! *BANG BANG BANG BANG WHAP WHAP WHAP*
Hakkai: Ano…Sanzo-sama…please don't hurt Hakuryuu^^;;.
Goku: *crawling all over the bottom of the Jeep* Hakuryuu?? What about meeee???!!!!
Sanzo: SHHINNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP*
(Just then, Kanzeon descends from the sky in a burst of heavenly light and confetti)
Gojyo: Overly dramatic entrances…-_-;;
Sanzo: *pointing gun at her* WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT???
Kanzeon: Heh…so angry…anyway, I wanted to know if you were interested in buying one of my Ritouden Puddings?
Goku: Who's Ritouden?
Kanzeon: Does it matter?
Goku: No…but how do you put someone inside a pudding?
Kanzeon: That's the name of the Pudding, genius monkey…-_-;;; Why would I actually want to put that asshole in my food?
Goku: Dunno…
Gojyo: Then why the heck do you call it that? You should name it "Gojyo Delight" or something…
Sanzo: Everyone who tried it would die of food poisoning…
Gojyo: Ch'…
Kanzeon: Oh for crying out loud…I don't have all day!! *impatient look* Are you buying or what??
Goku: I'll buy one!!
Sanzo: How nice…you're gonna trade it for your power seal, are you?
Goku: Heh^^…*produces a wallet*
Gojyo: oO The stupid monkey's loaded!!
Goku: I swiped it off Kougaiji when I bumped into him yesterday^^.
Sanzo: Ch'…baka…
Hakkai: *sipping tea* Goku seems to be picking up all sorts of useful habits, ne Sanzo?
Sanzo: Wasn't me…*lights cigarette*
Kanzeon: Here. *hands Goku a foil-covered container*
Goku: *takes* Arigatou^^!! *hands Kanzeon a dollar* Keep the change!!
Kanzeon: Whoop-dee-do…I can now retire…-_-
Sanzo: You can now leave…
Kanzeon: I see you're as welcoming as always…know anyone else I can sell these to?
Sanzo: Anyone who's as stupid as him…*points to Goku, who has gone starry-eyed*
Kanzeon:…Riiiight…*disappears*
Goku: *opening pudding* WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! ^_____________^
Sanzo: *takes out newspaper* Call me when he's done humiliating himself…
Hakkai: Heh…hai…^^;;;
Gojyo: Hey Goku, do you know that that thing is full of sugar?
Goku:…*stares at pudding* OO *screams and runs off*
Sanzo: -_-++++ *takes out gun* Go and fetch him…and if you say another word about sugar, I'll make sure Gyumao eats you for lunch.
Gojyo:….*gets out of Jeep and chases after Goku*
Hakkai: You seem to have a way with animals…
Sanzo: Urusai…*folds up paper* I'm going to get more muffins before the brainless bakas return…
Hakkai: Sou…*drinks tea*
-At the muffin store-
Homura: -_____________________-+++++++++
Zeon: Heh…gomen…^^;;;; But you did say we could use force…
Homura: Sou…I said you could use "force". Did I say that you could use a hundred sticks of dynamite and blow the place to kingdom come?????!!!!
Shien:…A hundred and one…I counted…
Zeon: Heee… ^^;;;;;;;
Homura: Zeon…*takes out sword*
Zeon: OO|||;;
(Just then, Sanzo arrives on the scene)
Sanzo: Where the hell is the shop?
Shien: You're standing on it…
Sanzo:…*glares at Homura* Did you do this?
Homura: *glares back* I'm not as demented as you.
Sanzo: *glare*
Homura: *glare*
Zeon: oO
Sanzo: *glare*
Homura: *glare*
Shien: *takes out a flask of tea*
Sanzo: *glare*
Homura: *glare*
Zeon: *gels hair back into place*
Sanzo: *glare*
Homura: *glare*
Shien: *drinks tea*
Sanzo: *glare* Baka…kami…
Homura: *glare* Baka…monk…
Zeon: OKAY!! Could we stop with the glaring already??
Homura: URUSAI!!! You'd better hope I find another muffin shop before sunset, or you won't have to wait for Gojyo and Hakkai to kill you!!
Sanzo: He did this?
Homura: Took you long enough to figure it out…
Sanzo: -_-+++ Would you mind if I shot him to bits?
Homura: It doesn't work…try this. *hands over his sword*
Sanzo: …*begins slashing at Zeon* SHIIINNEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Zeon: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! *dodges frantically* SHIEEENNN!!! HEELLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!
Shien: *raises eyebrow*…Hn…
Homura: Seems like fun…*to Sanzo* can I borrow your fan?
Sanzo: *chucks it over and continues dismantling Zeon*
Homura: *catches it* Ahh…domo…*charges at Zeon* SHINEEEEE!!!
Zeon: OO AIIEEEEEEE!!!! SHHHHHIIIIIIIIEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
Shien: Yare yare…*drinks tea*
=And so, the day ends pointlessly with Zeon getting pounded into the ground, Gojyo dragging Goku back by the ears, and Kanzeon trying to sell Kougaiji her pudding=
Kanzeon: It's really good!
Kougaiji: Sou…*eyes it warily*
Kanzeon: I'll even give you a special I'm-an-enemy-of-the-gods discount!
Kougaiji: *pokes it* Is it…safe?
Kanzeon: Of course it is! I made it myself!
Kougaiji:…I…see…*stares* oO
Kanzeon: Weeeeelllll??
Kougaiji: I'd like to…but I don't have any money…my wallet has conveniently gone missing.
Kanzeon:…Fiiiiine…*sniff*
Kougaiji: Why don't you just sell it to the people in heaven?
Kanzeon: I was trying to…until that brat of a Nataku switched it with some big shot generals' shaving cream.
Kougaiji: oO
Kanzeon: Let's just say it wasn't a pretty scene…-_-;;;
Kougaiji: Ah…*walks away*
Kanzeon: Hey! Wait! I haven't even shown you my cookies yet!! MATTE YO!!!
~Heh…I'm lazy…oh yeah…thankies to Genki for the pudding idea^^ *showers Genki in sweets* even if it's a bit…hazardous…^^;;;~
*Sanzo pops up in a muffin man costume holding up a sign that reads "Laugh at your own risk"*
*Sanzo: Baka authoress…-_-+++*
—End fic—
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