Disclaimer:

Ritouden: pinkdragonflame does not own Gensomaden Saiyuki…I DO!! Hahahahahahahaa!!!!

Homura:……Someone kill me…

Sanzo: That could be arranged. *takes out gun*

Homura: Y'know what?

Sanzo: *putting in bullets* What?

Homura: I just realized that you can't kill me with that toy pistol of yours. See? *plays a flashback of a "Sanzo-shoots-but-can't-kill-me-cos-I'm-a-god scene"*

Sanzo:…

Zeon: NOW you tell me?? After we spent an entire half-chapter running away from something that can't even hurt us??!!!

Homura: It never occurred to me before…*shrugs*

Sanzo:…Ch'….*shoots Gojyo instead*

Gojyo: oO *runs off* No faaaair!!!

~If you're wondering why GDBV is out, *glares at Kougaiji* it's due to maintenance…nothing permanent…I hope…*brief glimpse of Hakkai, who is trying in vain to superglue the speaker back together*~

(It's morning. Not hot, not cold, not bright, not dark. Just…morning…)

Homura: I'm hungry…

Zeon: Don't say that…you sound like that Goku guy…

Homura: But I am! I haven't eaten in over two chapters!!

Zeon: Neither have we…

Homura: You lie! I know you stole Beefy Burgers from behind the counter when you thought no one was looking!

Zeon:…Was it that obvious?

Shien: Hai.

Zeon: Damn…

Homura: I want those muffins…darn that stupid selfish monk…

Shien: You could always go and buy your own.

Homura: Which store is gonna be stupid enough to sell food to a wanted fighting god?

Zeon: You don't have to tell the owner your life's history, you know?

Homura: Oh yeah…in that case, *dramatic spotlight shines from above* to the muffin shop!

Shien: Homura-sama…

Homura: Yep?

Shien: Do you have any money?

Homura: Oh gee…I must've left my wallet in my other cloak…the one with the yellow bunnies and fluffy clouds…

Zeon: Isn't that the same pattern as Kanzeon's evening gown?

Homura: Why are you so obsessed with that old hag??

Zeon: Heh…^^;;;

Shien: Disturbing…

Zeon:...Urusai -_-+…anyway…how do we pay?

Homura: Hey, that rhymed!

Zeon: -_-;;

Shien: We can't…

Zeon: Let's plunder the shop and steal their muffins then! )

Homura: That would be dishonest.

Zeon: So?

Homura: Good point…lead the way^^.

Shien: Sou ka…

-Back with our "heros" in their Jeep-

Goku: Saaaaanzoooo…I'm huuuungryyyyy! ;___;

Sanzo: Urusai…

Goku: Demmooooooooo…huuunggrryyyyyyy…-_________-

Sanzo: Say that again and you'll have nothing left to be hungry with…-_-++

Goku: oO Eep!

Gojyo: Bakasaru…

Goku: I am not a monkey!!

Gojyo: Yeah right…and the sky isn't blue…

Goku: It isn't? *blink blink*

Gojyo: Too complicated? Heh…

Sanzo:…Where are my muffins?

Goku: *guilty look* It wasn't me!

Sanzo: -_-++++ You…ate…them?

Goku: *frantically shaking head* No! No way! It was Gojyo! Honest!!!

Gojyo: And why would I want the baka's cheapskate cakes?

Hakkai: They're muffins…

Gojyo: Cakes…muffins…no big diff…

Sanzo: *taking out fan* You…ate…them?

Goku: Hehe…^^;;;;*inches further down in seat*

Sanzo: *taking out gun* YOU…ATE…THEM???!!!

(The back seat makes an odd squeaking noise as Goku disappears beneath it)

Sanzo: YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!! *BANG BANG BANG BANG WHAP WHAP WHAP*

Hakkai: Ano…Sanzo-sama…please don't hurt Hakuryuu^^;;.

Goku: *crawling all over the bottom of the Jeep* Hakuryuu?? What about meeee???!!!!

Sanzo: SHHINNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP*

(Just then, Kanzeon descends from the sky in a burst of heavenly light and confetti)

Gojyo: Overly dramatic entrances…-_-;;

Sanzo: *pointing gun at her* WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT???

Kanzeon: Heh…so angry…anyway, I wanted to know if you were interested in buying one of my Ritouden Puddings?

Goku: Who's Ritouden?

Kanzeon: Does it matter?

Goku: No…but how do you put someone inside a pudding?

Kanzeon: That's the name of the Pudding, genius monkey…-_-;;;  Why would I actually want to put that asshole in my food?

Goku: Dunno…

Gojyo: Then why the heck do you call it that? You should name it "Gojyo Delight" or something…

Sanzo: Everyone who tried it would die of food poisoning…

Gojyo: Ch'…

Kanzeon: Oh for crying out loud…I don't have all day!! *impatient look* Are you buying or what??

Goku: I'll buy one!!

Sanzo: How nice…you're gonna trade it for your power seal, are you?

Goku: Heh^^…*produces a wallet*

Gojyo: oO The stupid monkey's loaded!!

Goku: I swiped it off Kougaiji when I bumped into him yesterday^^.

Sanzo: Ch'…baka…

Hakkai: *sipping tea* Goku seems to be picking up all sorts of useful habits, ne Sanzo?

Sanzo: Wasn't me…*lights cigarette*

Kanzeon: Here. *hands Goku a foil-covered container*

Goku: *takes* Arigatou^^!! *hands Kanzeon a dollar* Keep the change!!

Kanzeon: Whoop-dee-do…I can now retire…-_-

Sanzo: You can now leave…

Kanzeon: I see you're as welcoming as always…know anyone else I can sell these to?

Sanzo: Anyone who's as stupid as him…*points to Goku, who has gone starry-eyed*

Kanzeon:…Riiiight…*disappears*

Goku: *opening pudding* WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! ^_____________^

Sanzo: *takes out newspaper* Call me when he's done humiliating himself…

Hakkai: Heh…hai…^^;;;

Gojyo: Hey Goku, do you know that that thing is full of sugar?

Goku:…*stares at pudding* OO *screams and runs off*

Sanzo: -_-++++ *takes out gun* Go and fetch him…and if you say another word about sugar, I'll make sure Gyumao eats you for lunch.

Gojyo:….*gets out of Jeep and chases after Goku*

Hakkai: You seem to have a way with animals…

Sanzo: Urusai…*folds up paper* I'm going to get more muffins before the brainless bakas return…

Hakkai: Sou…*drinks tea*

-At the muffin store-

Homura: -_____________________-+++++++++

Zeon: Heh…gomen…^^;;;; But you did say we could use force…

Homura: Sou…I said you could use "force". Did I say that you could use a hundred sticks of dynamite and blow the place to kingdom come?????!!!!

Shien:…A hundred and one…I counted…

Zeon: Heee… ^^;;;;;;;

Homura: Zeon…*takes out sword*

Zeon: OO|||;;

(Just then, Sanzo arrives on the scene)

Sanzo: Where the hell is the shop?

Shien: You're standing on it…

Sanzo:…*glares at Homura* Did you do this?

Homura: *glares back* I'm not as demented as you.

Sanzo: *glare*

Homura: *glare*

Zeon: oO

Sanzo: *glare*

Homura: *glare*

Shien: *takes out a flask of tea*

Sanzo: *glare*

Homura: *glare*

Zeon: *gels hair back into place*

Sanzo: *glare*

Homura: *glare*

Shien: *drinks tea*

Sanzo: *glare* Baka…kami…

Homura: *glare* Baka…monk…

Zeon: OKAY!! Could we stop with the glaring already??

Homura: URUSAI!!! You'd better hope I find another muffin shop before sunset, or you won't have to wait for Gojyo and Hakkai to kill you!!

Sanzo: He did this?

Homura: Took you long enough to figure it out…

Sanzo: -_-+++ Would you mind if I shot him to bits?

Homura: It doesn't work…try this. *hands over his sword*

Sanzo: …*begins slashing at Zeon* SHIIINNEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Zeon: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! *dodges frantically* SHIEEENNN!!! HEELLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!

Shien: *raises eyebrow*…Hn…

Homura: Seems like fun…*to Sanzo* can I borrow your fan?

Sanzo: *chucks it over and continues dismantling Zeon*

Homura: *catches it* Ahh…domo…*charges at Zeon* SHINEEEEE!!!

Zeon: OO AIIEEEEEEE!!!! SHHHHHIIIIIIIIEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Shien: Yare yare…*drinks tea*

=And so, the day ends pointlessly with Zeon getting pounded into the ground, Gojyo dragging Goku back by the ears, and Kanzeon trying to sell Kougaiji her pudding=

Kanzeon: It's really good!

Kougaiji: Sou…*eyes it warily*

Kanzeon: I'll even give you a special I'm-an-enemy-of-the-gods discount!

Kougaiji: *pokes it* Is it…safe?

Kanzeon: Of course it is! I made it myself!

Kougaiji:…I…see…*stares* oO

Kanzeon: Weeeeelllll??

Kougaiji: I'd like to…but I don't have any money…my wallet has conveniently gone missing.

Kanzeon:…Fiiiiine…*sniff*

Kougaiji: Why don't you just sell it to the people in heaven?

Kanzeon: I was trying to…until that brat of a Nataku switched it with some big shot generals' shaving cream.

Kougaiji: oO

Kanzeon: Let's just say it wasn't a pretty scene…-_-;;;

Kougaiji: Ah…*walks away*

Kanzeon: Hey! Wait! I haven't even shown you my cookies yet!! MATTE YO!!!

~Heh…I'm lazy…oh yeah…thankies to Genki for the pudding idea^^  *showers Genki in sweets* even if it's a bit…hazardous…^^;;;~

*Sanzo pops up in a muffin man costume holding up a sign that reads "Laugh at your own risk"*

*Sanzo: Baka authoress…-_-+++*

—End fic—

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