Disclaimer:
Shien:…She doesn't own it…
Gojyo: Wow! Wasn't that the most interesting disclaimer ever? *rolls eyes*
Shien:…*stares at Gojyo*
*A huge boulder falls from the sky and squishes the kappa*
Shien:…It is now…
GDBV: *sighs* Well, it could've been worse…
Hakkai: Oh? How's that?
GDBV: It might have been me…
Hakkai: Ah…sou desune…
*A giant green van falls from the sky and squishes the speaker*
Hakkai: It's worse…^^; *thinks* ano…pinkdragonflame would also like to give a big "thank you" and a hug to all her reviewers and readers out there…*hands out cups of tea* Gomen…I ran out of brownies…^^;;
~Hmm…maybe I should get a radio instead…nah…~
(It's a really hot afternoon in the realm of GM. Homura and Sanzo are eating ice creams on Zeon's unconscious body. Goku is using Hakuryuu as an umbrella, and Hakkai and Gojyo are fast asleep)
Shien: …What about me?
(Oh yeah…um…*thinks* you can drink tea)
Shien:…Sou…*drinks tea*
Homura: *to Sanzo* The ice cream's not bad, ne?
Sanzo:…Sake is better…
Homura: Sake-flavoured ice cream?
Sanzo: You got?
Homura: I think so…*fishes around in ice box* Here ya go! *throws one to Sanzo*
Sanzo:…*eats* Your friend makes a good picnic mat.
Homura: Yeah…I noticed…
Zeon: x___X
Shien:…*stares at Homura*
Homura: *shrugging* It's not my fault…
Shien:….
Homura: Not entirely…
Shien: Yare yare…
Homura: What??! It's the truth! Sanzo was the one who used the dragon on him!
Sanzo: *eyes Homura* Well, you were the one who whacked him senseless…
Homura: He didn't have any sense to start out with…it doesn't count.
Sanzo: Humph…baka kami…
Homura: Speak for yourself, baka monk…
Sanzo: Urusai…
Homura: Yadda yadda…want more ice cream?
Sanzo: Yeah sure…
Shien: …Sou ka…-_-;;
Goku: Ahh! It's so hoooot…
Sanzo: Look who's talking…
Homura: Sou…that chicken looks just about dead…
Goku: It's not a chicken! It's Hakuryuu, Hakkai's dragon!!
Homura: Well whatever it is, it looks dead.
Hakuryuu: *panting* Kyuu…
Goku: Ah! Oh no! If he dies, Hakkai'll KILL me!
Sanzo: I think "kill" would be a bit of an understatement…
Goku: Ahhh!!!! *grabs Hakuryuu* Whattodowhattodo???? *runs around in a circle*
Homura: *watching* Is he always like this?
Sanzo: *licking ice cream* Yep…
Goku: Saaanzooooo! Help me!
Sanzo: Why should I? You were the one who came up with that smart idea in the first place…
Goku: Deeemoooo…
Sanzo: *lighting a cigarette* Figure it out yourself.
Goku: ;___; *notices ice box* Heeeey…
Homura: If he's thinking what I think he's thinking…
Goku: *crams Hakuryuu into the box* There! *triumphant grin* Now he won't die of heat stroke!
Sanzo: *taking out newspaper* No…he'll just freeze to death…
Goku: OO;; *quickly opens box and rescues Hakuryuu*
Hakuryuu: *is frozen solid*
Goku: Ahhh!! Wait…the extreme heat is sure to thaw him out soon!
(Storm clouds gather. It starts snowing)
Goku: Oh…no…
Homura: *hands Sanzo a fluffy yellow jacket* Weird weather…
Sanzo: *putting on jacket* Yep…
Goku: Nooooo!! *tries to chip Hakuryuu out using Noiybu*
Shien: *sipping tea*…
Goku: *grabs the tea and pours it over the frozen dragon*
Ice: *melting* Noooooooo!!
Goku: oO;;
Shien:...-_-+++
Goku: Eh hehehe…^^;;; Just think of the poor innocent dragon-life you've saved.
Shien:…All I'm thinking about right now is my tea…
Goku: Ah…but Hakuryuu's happy! *holds up the rather blue dragon*
Hakuryuu: @__@
Shien:…Sou…-_-;;
Hakkai: Ano...minna-sama…^^;;
Sanzo: Ah…Hakkai…you're awake…
Hakkai: Hai…demo, I have a teensy little problem…
Homura: What the heck is Kenren doing to your ear?
Hakkai: That's…sorta…my problem…^^;;;
Gojyo: Mshy thungh ish schuck tho hish conshrol devishe.
Homura: You have a duck who plays with mice?
Gojyo: -_-;; Nsho…Hakkaish…tshell thsem…
Hakkai: His tongue is stuck to my control device. ^^;;;
Sanzo: *staring* Sick…kappa…
Gojyo: Itsh noht mshy fausht! Ihy dishn't knshow itsh wash snowshing…;___;
Homura: *starts laughing* Gwahahahahaa!!
Goku: *is rolling around* Hahahahahahaha!!!
Shien:…*sips tea* Baka…
Gojyo: Notsh funnshy!!!!
Homura: Oh but it is! Just imagine-you're gonna have to run beside the Jeep whenever he uses it…
Goku: And you have to go shopping with him too!
Sanzo: And you can't smoke or drink sake any more…wanna turn over your stores now or later?
Gojyo: ;_____________; Nsho wahy!! *tries to pull his tongue free* Hakkaish!!!!
Hakkai: Maa maa…I think my ear is turning blue…^^;;
(Just then, Kougaiji and his troupe of Gyakumen Angels appear)
Kougaiji: Ha! It's us again! *reads off a slip of paper* By the supreme authority entrusted upon us by our…*stops suddenly* Do I really have to read this part?
Dokukakuji: Yeah…she insisted…-_-;;
Lirin: Just say it quickly and get it over with…ganbette ne, onnichan!! ^^
Kougaiji…Fiine…-_- *starts reading again* By the supreme authority entrusted upon us by our *cough* oh-so-great-and-powerful-leader-who-currently-has-a-severe-inferiority-complex-and-feels-that-she-has-been-undermentioned *cough*, we hereby demand that you turn over that godforsaken piece of cloth so I won't have to endure these utterly embarrassing entrances anymore…-_-+++
Dokukakuji: *stares at paper* Um...Kou…I think you added a few words…you're supposed to stop at the "Oh-so-great-and-powerful-leader" part…
Kougaiji: -__- Whatever…*to Sanzo* just hand over the sutra already!
Sanzo:…No…
Kougaiji: Oh come on!! Do you have any idea how demoralizing it is for a demon prince to be part of an organization that bears his stepmother's horrible name??! I mean-what would you do?
Sanzo: *takes out a cigarette* Kill her…
Kougaji: oO *takes out a notebook* *starts scribbling* Note to self…invite Sanzo over for dinner…make sure a wide range of firearms are close at hand…
Homura: Why don't you just do it yourself?
Kougaiji:…Weeeeell…
Goku: Kougaji's scared!!
Kougaiji: *turning red* I AM NOT!!!
Goku: *dancing around* You are TOO!!
Kougaiji: AM NOOOOT!!
Goku:P ARREEE TOOOOOOO!!!!
Sanzo: -_-++ URUSAI!! *BANG BANG*
Goku: oO;;
Kougaiji: Oo;;
Hakkai: Gomen for interrupting…but what about Gojyo? ^^;;
Homura: I could always cut his tongue off…
Gojyo: oO;;; Nsho!!!!
Sanzo: Not a bad idea…there'd be less noise, and their problem would be solved…
Gojyo: OO|| Sansho!!!!!
Homura: ^^ *takes out sword* This should be fun…
Gojyo: AHHHHHSHH!! *tries to run* HELLLPSH!!!!
Hakkai: Ne, Gojyo…could you stop doing that? My ear is starting to resemble Kougaiji's…^^;;
Kougaiji: Oi! What is that supposed to mean?!
Sanzo: *smoking* Need you ask?
Kougaiji: *sobs* Meanies…;___;
Zeon: Now there's a mature word...
Yaone: Eh hehehe ^^;;… Kougaiji-sama just has a different way of expressing himself, that's all.
Kougaiji: Thank you, Yaone! It's nice to see that at least someone here respects me…
Dokukakuji: Hey! I respect you too! See? *kowtows before him*
Homura: Heh…jealous?
Dokukakuji: YES! I mean-NO!! I mean-hang on…I'm confusing myself…_;;
Homura: *eating a lollipop* Slow…
Gojyo: *dragging Hakkai off* ;_______;
Hakkai: *getting dragged off* ^^;;;;;
Homura:…Ooooh no you don't…*sends the fire dragon after them*
Gojyo: ITAI!! Hey…my tongue is free!! *does victory dance*
Lirin: Heee^^!! *joins in*
Kougaiji: LIRIN!! Don't dance with the enemy!
Lirin: Ah…gomen nasai…*toasts Gojyo with a fireball* Better?
Kougaiji: Yep.
Hakkai: ^^;;
Kougaiji: Wait a minute-why the heck aren't those three bakas at McDemon's today? *points to Homura & co.*
Homura: Shh! Not so loud…*glances around*
Kougaiji: I knew it! You're slacking!!
Zeon: NO!! Well…maybe…a bit…
Shien:…We got tired of serving you…
Dokukakuji: Is that what you call customer service?? I want my Coke!!
Zeon: You say another word and I'll turn you into a Coke…-_-++
Dokukakuji:…Evil…-_-;;
Homura: It's our trademark. We wouldn't be trying to destroy all of heaven and earth if we were perfect lil angels, would we?
Dokukakuji: Good point…
Homura: Of course it is…I made it! *smirk smirk smirk*
Kougaiji:…Annoying…-_______- *takes out a cell phone*
Goku: *stares* Waaaaah…sugoi…is it candy?
Kougaiji: No…*starts dialing*
Goku: *stares* Is it a meat bun in disguise?
Kougaiji: *rolls eyes* Hello? Kanzeon? Just thought that you might like to know-
Homura: *shoves an inflatable pillow in his mouth* *grabs the phone* Ah… nothing…it's just that Kougaiji here really wants to volunteer himself as your personal taster…yeah everything…cookies, muffins, cakes…the works…pay? Nah…I don't think he needs anything…
Kougaiji: OO;;;; *struggles to remove the pillow*
Sanzo: *smokes*Heh…it was nice knowing you…
Zeon: Or not so nice…in either case, you'll be sorely missed…for about ten seconds, if you're lucky.
Hakkai: Ano...that's not very comforting…^^;;
Kougaiji: *has managed to free his mouth* I demand that you cancel that request you illiterate excuse for a fighting god!
Homura: Oh? And who was the one who spent an entire two weeks learning how to write the correct form of his name, which he has conveniently overlooked for the past twenty years?
Kougaiji: -___-+++ It was only one stupid stroke!!
Zeon: Yeah…but it changed the meaning of your name from Red Child to Purple Fuzzball…
Kougaiji:…Purple Fuzzy Socks…but that's besides the point…
Goku: *dies laughing and is reincarnated as a mountain goat*
Shien:…A mountain goat? *raises eyebrow*
Goku: -_______-;;
Homura:…Do they have muffins?
Gojyo: No, but you should be able to make some very nice lamb stew…
Homura: Aw whatever…as long as it's food! *takes out giant carving knife* Heeere, goatie!
Goku: OO;; *runs off bleating in fear*
Sanzo: *smokes* Brainless…
Homura: Oh darn…the main course ran away…*pouts*
Zeon: Oo;; *clutches on to Shien* I'm frightened…
Shien:…Let...go…*slaps him*
Zeon:…-_-;;;
Gojyo: *snickers* What's the matter, Zeon? Scared he got nail polish on you?
Homura: Hey…how'd you know Shien uses nail polish?
Shien:…-_-++ *hurls a borrowed Death Star (Which Darth Vader, not pink, owns) at his head*
Homura: oO; This…could hurt…*gets hit* Oooooww…#_#
Hakkai: *pulls out a kettle* ^^;;;;
(Kougaiji disappears in a flash of so-called heavenly light)
(Everyone stares)
Gojyo: *takes off his bandana* Let us all observe a moment of silence to reflect upon the passing of our dear, dear demon prince, Kougaiji. I am sure that no matter where he is, he will always remain in our hearts as the poor, unfortunate git who was hauled off to be used as a guinea pig, and I thank Kami-sama that it's him and not me…
Sanzo: Amen…*smokes*
Dokukakuji: *is close to hysterics* KOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!! *sobs uncontrollably*
Yaone:…*pats him on the back* There there…I'm sure Kougaiji-sama's just fine…^^
Zeon: I wouldn't be so sure…the last time Homura tried one of her apple tarts, he was purple for a month…
Dokukakuji: *starts wailing* NOOOOOOO!!
Yaone: ^^;;;;;
=And so, the day ends pointlessly with Kougaiji suffering a fate worse than death, Homura dreaming of cute l'il duckies, and Nataku stuffing the hair of our under mentioned Gyakumen into a pot of glue=
Gyakumen: *screeches* YOU LITTLE BRAT!! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL CERULEAN TRESSES?!! *strokes her hair, which now has bits of shiny cellophane paper stuck to it*
Nataku: *smirks* You did say that you wanted an important role in this chapter^^!!
Gyakumen: And having the most prominent part of my delicate femininity disfigured and scarred for life is your opinion of an important role??!
Nataku: Of course! It's the comic relief!! *dances off happily*
Gyakumen:…-______-+++
*Goku trots out nibbling on the stalk of some unidentified plant*
*Goku: Baaaaaa….*
~Whee! I finally found out Genki's true identity^^!! Domo arigatou for all your support, Genki, and I wish you the best of insane luck in all your upcoming fics^^~
—End fic—
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