Chapter Eight - Take a Look at Me Now

Even though he finally knew for sure how she felt about him, it had taken a few days for him to pluck up the courage to speak to her. And then when he eventually did, she didn't want to know. How could he fix this? Why was she making it so difficult? He knew how she felt, she had to know how he felt, then what's the problem? What does she want him to do?! He felt trapped. He had made his bed and now he had to lie in it, but it wasn't fair. Why was life always so crappy? Nights were spent thinking about how he could fix this mess he had created, but still nothing. Friday night came, and again he was going to be spending the night alone.

Friday - 2.20pm - ER - Before his lonely evening.

Carter sat in the lounge alone eating his lunchtime bagel. Ever since the break up he hadn't eaten at Doc's, too many memories. Or maybe he just didn't fancy eating alone. Either way, he didn't like it. Abby had carried on carefree, as if nothing happened. She ate over there, usually with Susan. He noticed they had become good friends in the past couple of months, he was glad she had a girlfriend she could rely on. If she needed to talk, someone who would be there when he couldn't, which was most of the time now. He wondered what they talked about, whether she spoke about him ever, what Susan replied to her occasional comments. Maybe Susan was his way of getting Abby back? His thoughts were interrupted by Kerry barging into the lounge looking frustrated.

"Hey Kerry what's up?"

"Damn computers system is down AGAIN."

"Ahh."

"I swear those things are more trouble than their worth."

"Tell me about it."

She sighed again and headed over to the coffee machine. Carter smiled to himself, he always found slight amusement when watching Dr Weaver get annoyed. She banged away at the counter then began the conversation once more.

"So how's it going?"

"Um.fine?!"

"You sure?"

"Yeah why wouldn't it be?"

"Well I..nothing it doesn't matter."

"No what?"

"You've just been a little withdrawn recently. Anything you wanna talk about?"

"That's what shrink's are for Kerry."

"I'm serious John. You know you can talk to me."

"Thanks. But I'm okay, really. I just need some time to sort things out."

"Okay if you're sure."

She smiled and sat down on a chair and began to drink her long awaited coffee.

"Isn't your break over now?"

"Yeah I was just leaving."

He smiled at her and got up and began to walk towards the door. Before he left, she called his attention.

"And John?"

"Yeah?"

"If you really wanna sort things out, show her how you feel. That's always a good one."

"Right. Thanks. I'll see what I can do."

He smiled appreciatively at her and silently walked out. Show her how I feel huh? But how?

5.37pm - Curtain Area 3

Abby was helping Susan with a patient in curtain 3, as Carter walked past and overheard their conversation.

"So wanna go out and get hammered again tonight?"

"Um..yeah sure why not."

"Great. Where to this time?"

"Oh god you choose!"

"Ever heard of Buddha Lounge? Does this hurt Mr Lackey?"

"A little. It's more around my belly."

"No I haven't, is it new?"

"Apparently. It's kinda like Lava Lounge but its got beds everywhere! How about here?"

The patient shook his head.

"Ooh sounds kinky. Any particular reason you wanna go there?!"

"No! Well..."

They both burst out laughing. So she'd been drinking again? Not good news.

"Have you spoken to Carter?"

"No."

"Oh. Why not?"

"What's the point?"

"Well lot's of reasons actually!"

"Like what? Like he gets insanely jealous of friendly banter. I swear if you were a guy you'd be dead right now."

"Really? I know he can be bad but I don't think he means it. He never got like that with me."

"Yes he did! At that sexual harassment thing!"

"Only cos it involved you!"

"It did not!"

"Oh it so did!"

"You're a nightmare you know that?!"

"It's in my nature!"

There was a little silence as they finished up.

"Ok sir I'm gonna order a few tests and I'll be right with you in a few minutes. Don't go anywhere."

They got up and walked out as Carter jumped to the side so they didn't catch him. They moved into the supplies cupboard and he continued to eaves drop. They were alone collecting some supplies.

"About tonight?"

"Yeah?"

"I ahh, I don't think it's a good idea for me to drink."

"Why not?"

"Just trust me it's not!"

"You don't like to drink much do you?"

"Not really."

"How comes?"

"Let's just say..bad experience."

"I see. If I remember correctly the last time you got drunk was at the Lava Lounge!" "Yeah I know."

"That's some going! How do you do it?"

"I have to do it."

There was a silence, he couldn't see what was going on. Abby obviously hadn't told Susan she was a drunk yet.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic Susan."

"Why didn't you say?"

"I try not to tell everybody. Only people I trust."

"I'm sorry I feel so bad about before, the drinking at Lava Lounge. I had no idea."

"It's okay you weren't to know. I should have said. Only Carter knows, he saw at a meeting once."

"Is that when you became friends?"

"Yeah I suppose. Weird how things turn out huh?"

"Tell me about it. If you could go back, and change things, so you didn't have..a problem, then do you think you and Carter would have become so close?"

"I guess not. But I wouldn't change the past."

"You wouldn't?!"

"Not for anything. I never thought I could love someone, and them love me back. But I had that, and I feel safe knowing that I loved, and probably still love now."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah. Say a word and die!"

"You have my word! I'm glad you told me."

"Actually, me too. Felt good to get it off my chest."

"Well, I know a GREAT karaoke bar down the street from me, which is alcohol free, if you fancy that?!"

"Sounds...eventful!"

"Oh trust me, it is!"

With that Susan walked out leaving Abby to clean up after a patient had puked blood everywhere. Carter sighed to himself, quietly happy that Abby was staying off the drink. She was strong, stronger than anybody he had ever met. If only she was his. He had to think of a plan, and fast. Karaoke bar huh? Interesting. Now, what to sing...?

9.46pm - Flares Karaoke Bar

"I never knew you did such a good impression of Gloria Gaynor!"

"Me neither!" Laughed Susan as she took another sip of her lemonade.

"Right. Let's make a toast. To forgetting our lost loves, and moving on!" Announced Abby.

"To forgetting and moving on!"

"CHEERS!" They both said in unison.

They clinked their glasses together, and took a sip, as suddenly the lights went out, and place hushed into a silent abyss.

"What's going on?" Whispered Abby to Susan.

"I have no idea."

Suddenly, a light switched onto the centre on the stage, and there stood Carter. Abby's mouth dropped open and she sat in silence once more, staring at a very nervous looking Carter.

"What is he doing?!"

Abby ignored Susan's comment and continued to stare at Carter. She wondered what he was thinking, was he nervous, excited, worried she would knock him back? She had been waiting for him to sweep her off her feet, and this was it, could he do it? Then the music began. Those piano notes rang out so clearly. Then he opened his mouth to sing.

'How I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace. When I'm standin' taking every breath, with you, oooh. You're the only one, who really knew me at all.

How can you just walk away from me when all I can is watch you leave. Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain, we've even shared the tears. You're the only one who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now! There's an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me, just a memory of your face. Well take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space. And you comin' back to me, is against the odds, and that's what I've got to face!'

He carried on, getting more and more into it. Abby's eyes welled up.

'I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry! There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why. You're the only one, who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space. And there's nothing left here to remind me, just a memory of you face.'

He moved down from the stage, and slowly walked towards her. She sat, motionless on the stool just watching, completely taken in by him. The tears were running down her face now, and she could see the real pain in his eyes. She never knew he was a good singer, but whether he was or not, he had done that for her. He continued towards her, eyes fixated on hers, then he just stood in front of her, still singing.

'Now take a look at me now! Cos there's just an empty space! But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face.

Take a good look at me now! Cos I'm still standing here. And you coming back to me is against all odds, It's the chance I've got to take!

Take a look at me now.'

There was a silence, as the spotlight still laid on him in front of her, and she still held her breath, waiting for him to say something.

"Abby. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, or be jealous, but it's hard. I do trust you, with all my life but I can't stand it when another man is with you because I'm scared one day you'll wake up and realise you've made a mistake and wonder what you're doing with me, and go and find somebody worthy of you."

His eyes were filled with desperation, and she felt his hurt more than ever before. He reached out and brushed a tear off her cheek, then continued.

"You wanted to know where I went those few weeks ago, when I had to go somewhere before our shift. Well I think it's time for you to know."

He put his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a small velvet box. Abby gasped, and a huge smile spread across Susan's face. This was it. The moment of truth.

"Abigail Lockhart, I love you more than I have ever loved anybody, and I would move heaven and earth to be with you for the rest of my life. Would you do me the biggest honour, of becoming my wife?"

The whole place was now motionless, watching, waiting with baited breath as to Abby answer. Would she forget and forgive? Or carry on hating him for being jealous but loving him all the same? As the seconds went past, the more nervous Carter got. He stayed in the same position on his bended knee, holding the open box out to her who sat with her mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say. She knew the answer the first time they kissed, this was the man she would marry, but had things changed? No. Not really. All this time apart made her realise how much she needed him, how much she wanted him, and how much she loved him. She couldn't live a moment more without him, but he needn't know that. A simple 'yes' would do the trick.

"Yes. Yes I will marry you."

"Really?!"

"Of course!"

"Yes!"

He quickly took her hand and slid the ring with the HUGE sparkling diamond onto her finger. Then he jumped up and picked up, swinging her around, almost ready to cry. He couldn't believe she said yes, after all they had been through, they were back together again, it was too good to be true.

"Are you gonna leave me out of the celebrating forever or what?!" Cried Susan as the two continued canoodling.

The entire place had applauded his romantic gesture, and clapped heartily for a while till the couple had finished their little scene and began hugging Susan amidst kissing one another. It had seemed like forever since they had kissed, too long for either to bear again.

"Congratulations you two! Can't wait to tell them all back at work!"

"Um.do you mind if we tell them? It's just they'll be gossiping unless we tell them exactly what's happening ourselves!"

"Oh yeah I know! Sure, just don't forget to send me the invitation!"

"We won't." Answered Carter, still staring into Abby's eyes, holding her like he had never held her before.

He couldn't stop smiling, and neither could she, it was like something out of a dream. The outside world was cut out, and all they could feel, hear, or see was each other. It was like they were in a protective bubble, nothing could touch them.

"Well, I hate to be a party pooper but I'm beat and I can see you two have a lot to catch up on!"

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for another drink?" Asked Abby, momentarily taking her attention away from Carter.

"No it's fine. Besides, I don't fancy spending the rest of the evening talking to myself! Don't stay up too late now!"

"Okay we won't!" Answered Carter laughing.

"See you tomorrow Susan."

"Yeah see ya!"

Susan left smiling to herself along the way. The long lost lovers were back together, finally Abby would be out of her depression and get a decent conversation with her without having to keep asking if she was okay, or wondering if she would ever get over him. But now she needn't, they were back together, all that was needed now was for her to get herself a boyfriend and it would be the perfect set up. Shame there weren't any decent men around. Actually, she had begun to notice Luka lot more recently, good boyfriend material? Only one way to find out!

I think there's time for one big AWWWW. So they're back together. Boring boring boring. I know but it has to be done. A carby with no carby is just BORING! So who thinks Luka and Susan is a good idea? Or not? It's up to you. ;)