Chapter Fourteen - All You Wanted

They got up around 12 to find Maggie had gone, with a simple note saying, 'Thanks for the hospitality'. They figured she must have got bored or something. Abby rang Eric to tell him Maggie had gone, and he told her she was on her way to his place and not to worry. With Maggie out their hair, where did this leave them?

1pm - Estate Agents Office

"There you are Dr Carter. Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

"It's free for you to move in as of..now!" She said as she looked at her watch.

"Great! I don't we're gonna start moving for a few days actually."

"Oh why not?"

"I have something planned." He winked at her then looked over at Abby who was asleep in the car.

"I see. Well if there's anything more you need, travel arrangements and movers then don't be afraid to call."

"I will thanks. See you soon."

"Of course. Bye Dr Carter."

He nodded and walked out the office. He threw the keys up in the air and caught them as he skipped to the car. He tried to close the door quietly but she woke up and looked over grumpily at him.

"Hey."

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"No. It's fine. So you got them?"

"Yep. We are free to move in whenever we want!"

"Great. Let's go then!"

"I was thinking we could go take a break for a while before we start moving."

"Like where?"

"Like..somewhere I booked this morning while you were sleeping!"

"John! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Cos I knew you would say no!"

"What about work? We can't have any time off."

"I called Kerry. I told her we were both really ill and caught the flu and were both sick in bed."

"You lied?!"

"Well hat was I supposed to say?! Oh Kerry can Abby and I have a week off for going on holiday and moving house?!"

"Well you better hope she doesn't find out!"

"She won't!"

"If she does you're taking the rap. I have nothing to do with this little plan."

"Okay. So all we need to do is grab a few things and go to the airport."

"Where are we going?"

"Ahhh all in good time my love!"

"Tell me!"

"It's a surprise!"

"I hate surprises!"

"You won't hate this one!"

"You better be right, for your sake!"

"I am. Trust me!"

They both laughed and he drove off to their apartment to get their stuff. There was a limo waiting outside for them and it took them to the airport.

"You're really putting out all the stops aren't you?!"

"Anything for you Abby."

"Ha ha. Seriously John, why all this?"

"All what?"

"The limousine, the mystery trip..I don't get it."

"Well I just figured we could use a break. Away from here, away from the ER. Just away."

She gave him a curious look and he gave her a heart warming look back.

"I just think we need to get away to sort everything out. I need to understand you, and why you did..what you did. I'm not angry with you, far from it, I'm just confused. And I think a break will give you the chance to tell me everything you're feeling."

"Okay. Don't expect a life story though!"

"Abby I want the life story. It doesn't matter if it's boring to you, it's not boring to me."

She smiled at him, but he remained serious. The cheeky smile dropped from her face and she reached over to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes as she did so and she leaned over to kiss him.

"Okay."

"Okay?" He asked amazed that she had agreed to tell him everything.

"Okay."

"Master Carter we've arrived." Said Alger through the divide.

"Thank you Alger. We'll take it from here."

"You're welcome sir. Have a nice trip."

They got out the limo and Carter put their bags onto a trolley. He made his way to the gate. The luggage had been taken courtesy of his private airline company. All that they needed to do was board the plane. Carter led Abby through outside where they waited for conformation.

"I'm nervous."

"What of flying?!" Carter asked surprised.

"You know I hate flying!"

"Sorry. I forgot."

"I guess I'll have to bear it!"

"Yes you will. It's not a huge plane. It's my family's private jet. It's only us and a crew of five on board."

"What?! John! I thought it was just a normal flight!"

"We're travelling in style this time Abby!"

"I can see that!" She announced as she saw the small private jet wheel round the corner into her view.

She giggled and he grabbed her hand leading her to the jet. They boarded and made their way to the lounge area.

"Wow!" Abby exclaimed as they entered the room.

Carter closed the curtained door so nobody could come in. It was always nice to have a bit of privacy on a plane. There'd be no screaming kids this time.

"It's like a hotel in here!"

"A nice hotel I hope?!"

"Nothing but the best for the Carter family!"

"Hey there's no need for that!" Answered Carter amused.

"I was just joking." She laughed back as she began to explore the room.

Two black leather couches greeted them on either side of the plane, with a double bed on the right on the corned next to the door. There was a bar on the other side at the end of the couch, a large flat screen TV attached to the side of the plane, a rack with videos and DVDs on, and a great stereo next to the other couch with a stack of CDs in a rack next to it. It was like her birthday and Christmas had come all at once!

"How many times have you used this?!"

"A few."

"Don't sound too excited!"

"Well you get used to it."

"I guess."

"So, what you like a drink?"

"Sure. What have you got?"

"A range actually. I've got coke, water, sprite, juice and sparkling cider. Take your pick." Said Carter as he rummaged around the fridge.

"I'll have a glass of chilled water please sir!"

"At your request madam." He said, very debonair as he poured her a glass of cold water.

"Thanks." She said as he passed her the glass.

He poured himself one and went over and sat on the couch.

"Come sit with me." He said when he saw her standing in the middle of the room looking around her at all the décor.

"Ooooook." She said happily as she pranced over and sat next to him.

He put his arm round her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"This is nice."

"What the plane?!"

"No! This. Us. You know Richard's idea of closeness would be for us to watch the football together."

"What's wrong with that?!"

"On separate couches."

"Oh!" He laughed out loud. "I'm sorry Abby but that's pretty funny!"

"Yeah now it is! Wasn't so funny then. And his way of saying he loved me was to offer me a beer!"

"Oh jeez. He is one joke of a man."

"Ironic though isn't it."

"What?"

"Well his 'love' turned me into an alcoholic."

"I guess."

"You guess?! He did!"

"Okay."

"John what's wrong?"

He hadn't really been paying attention, he was thinking more importantly about deeper things. He still needed to know why she did it. He had tried his best to hide his anger, and he hadn't at first, she cried, that was the one thing that stopped him. He had a big speech planned out and everything. But still, she stopped him. It was a shame in a way, maybe if he had been able to tell her what he was feeling, then she would understand him, and therefore begin to explain why she did what she did. Instead, she cried, he cried, he comforted her, and he calmed down. Thus, no conclusion was made.

"John?"

"Huh what?"

"Nothing."

"Sorry. I was just."

"Thinking about something else."

"Yeah."

"John, you know I am sorry."

"Sure!" He said, forcing a smile as he patted her leg lightly.

"Well it's still bugging you."

"Of course it's still bugging me!"

"Well talk to me then! Tell me what's on your mind!"

"I don't think I should be the one who needs to talk do you?"

"Well what do you want me to say?!"

"Just tell me why."

"I don't know where to start John." She trailed off.

"How about from the damn beginning Abby?!" He shouted suddenly, making her jump slightly.

There was silence, and they just stared at one another, and there, was the first time Abby could see the real pain in his eyes. She felt his pain, and suddenly, for the first time, she felt truly guilty. It was a mistake. What had she done? It was a mistake. She needed to get off the plane right then and there, get away from John, from this scenario, from this awkward situation, but she couldn't. There was no way off, unless she fancied parachuting which was a definite no-go area. What could she say now? Now that she knew how he truly felt. All she wanted to do was to turn the clocks back and stop herself from doing what she did, but it was too late.

"WELL?" He exclaimed once more.

"I.I.can't we do this when we get there?"

"No. No we can't do it when we get there, I wanna do it now. If we get it off our chest now so we can at least enjoy the rest of the holiday."

Abby just stared at him blankly, it was obvious she wasn't going to talk any time soon.

"So why did you do it?! What possessed you to go and have our child, killed?! I mean really cos I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say I think it stinks."

"I already told you I'm sorry."

"Yeah yeah yeah you're sorry. Abby that's not gonna bring it back is it? I mean seriously, what do you expect me to do?! Pretend like nothing's happened and everything is fine like it was before."

He paused for a second while he thought about what he just said.

"Hell I don't even know if you WERE happy before now do I?!"

"John it's not your fault."

"Well tell me WHY you did it?! Please!"

His face was exasperated. She was feeling more and more guilty as he carried on letting all his anger out. She knew he still loved her, but it was going to take a lot for him to forgive her. Now it was her turn to say 'I'm sorry'.

"I.I did it.because."

"Because what?!" He interrupted.

"Because I love you! Okay! Because I love you." She shouted, then calmly repeated herself.

He looked at her, bewildered, what did this mean?

"Well I'd hate to think what you'd do if you didn't love me!" He answered sarcastically.

"I couldn't, I wouldn't make you have to go through what I had to."

"Which was what?"

"Maggie. All over again."

"I don't understand."

"I didn't want you to go through everything I did with my Mom."

"And you had an abortion because of that?"

"Yeah." She said shamefully.

He sighed. He could see now she wasn't being selfish, but he still felt it wasn't a good enough reason, or maybe it was, but he wished she had asked him before, and maybe he could have changed her mind.

"Abby I don't care whether the baby is bipolar or not. I would have loved it maybe even more. You, just gotta see, I'm not like Richard. And I'm never gonna be like him."

Abby gasped. She couldn't believe he had worked out what she had been feeling. He was right. He wasn't Richard. He wasn't cold hearted and brutal. He was kind, caring, loving. It was too much to bear for her now, she just wanted to give him the love in her heart she was feeling even more that ever before.

"Okay John."

"Okay?"

"I understand. I'm sorry I thought you'd react how Richard would have. That's why I had an abortion last time."

"Last time?" He asked astounded.

She looked down, ashamed. And immediately he felt bad for her. She had obviously been troubled by this for some time now.

"Abby?"

"When I was with Richard, I got pregnant, and I had an abortion."

He was silent. He didn't know what to say, but he wanted to reassure her that he didn't think any less of her. In fact, if anything he was more proud of her. She was strong, she hadn't complained about it, or asked for sympathy, hell she hadn't even told him, mustn't that count for something?

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was ashamed." She said through her quiet sobs.

"Ashamed of what?"

"That you'd think I was a horrible person."

"I would never think that." He said exasperating. He looked down at his knees and scratched the back of his head.

"See, I'm the one screwing it up this time. And alcohol's not even involved!" She laughed a little then stopped and returned to her little depression.

"You're not screwing it up. I know this is hard Abby, but it's hard for me too."

"I know that. I'm sorry."

She gave him a puppy dog look that just made him melt. He couldn't stay mad at her for long. But he knew it was gonna take more than a look for them to get over this hurdle. He motioned for her to move over and sit where he had ventured on the other side of the plane to where she was. She unsurely moved across as he waited patiently for her.

"What?"

"Come here. Sit with me." He asked, sighing slightly.

She cautiously sat down, but not next to him and he turned to look into her eyes, those eyes so full of doubts he thought they'd spill over unless he comforted her soon.

"What?" She persisted again.

"Just, come here." He persisted back.

She slid further along the couch until she was nearer to him. He pulled her closer and then sat back to relax. She turned around to look in his eyes, his arm draped over her shoulder, she needed that security, to tell her everything was going to be alright.

"Tell me we're gonna be okay."

He leaned his head forward so their foreheads were touching. He sighed slightly, then looked into her eyes again. She was still scared, more than ever before. Her mind was racing, she could lose him.

"We're gonna be okay."

Still, she seemed a little unsure. This brought back memories.

"We're gonna be okay." He repeated.

She smiled at him slightly, and leaned in for a kiss. They settled back in, and decided to watch 'Pretty Woman', against Carter's objection. She always got round him, he thought as she happily watched it, her hands intertwining with his, completely mesmerised by the TV. He just watched her, and he fell in love with her all over again. Her skin, her lips, her deep dark eyes, everything. He loved everything about her, and realised, he could never leave her, no matter what.