I'm quiet, a shy person, I don't talk to anyone, only the Ducks really. I'm amazed I actually have friends sometimes, but I'm told I'm a good listener. My father doesn't talk to me much. I hardly see my family because I live at Eden Hall, so I don't really care. My mother is an okay woman, I guess you could say. I mean, she's okay if you like a snot nose, arrogant bitch who hits her children. Then there's my brother, Jarred. He's pretty cool, he's about 3 years older than me, a junior in New York University, and I don't see him often. Jarred and I used to be best friends, we'd always need each other for comfort when Dad and Mom fought. After they fought, mom usually came to me, because I'm one person she could always beat, whether physical or verbal, because I was weaker than she was. I was always scared of her, hell I still am, but before the goodwill games I learned not to talk back, then the marks weren't half as bad.

As for my friends, I love them all. Fulton and Portman became an official "item" last semester and they've both been better on the ice since. Fulton's really opened up to me about his relationship with Portman. I think it's great they've both found the one that they can love in each other-regardless of their genders.  

Julie's as perky as hell, and it's really annoying. She's always all over me, whether it's chomping away on her gum in my ear or trying to kiss me. I guess she's a bad listener because she doesn't seem to understand the word "no," even when it's all I say to her.

Goldberg's finally over the fact that Julie's goalie and he's defenseman. I think it's really helped his game, along with his attitude. Now, instead of trying to get her to gain the weight, he's been losing. He's lost about 40 pounds already and he's looking pretty good, he's eating like 1500 calories a day or something like that. It's working for him.

Averman's jokes have just gotten worse over the years; they're about as bad as Kenny's trash talk, which sucks if I may say so. I wish Averman would just give up with the jokes, he's never been good at them-even before Peewees. Ken's trying to be something he's not, now that we're the varsity hockey team. He actually been treating the J.V. team the way he was treated by the then varsity team. It's sad when you think about these two.

Luis is finally over his cheerleading whores. He's had a steady girlfriend for the past year and a half. I'm glad he's out of his horny phase; he's not such a huge prick anymore.

As for Dwayne, his cowboy 'tude has definitely changed since the goodwill games. Don't get me wrong; he still treats them with respect, only now he's more like the old Luis. He's only with the girls for two to three days, and he refuses to admit that he has sex with them. But I mean, come on, at least warn me before I think there's an earthquake going on above me, yup, that's right, his room's above mine! You know, speaking of earthquakes, "Dwayne!"

Russ has been pretty down in the dumps lately. His California girlfriend of three years found out about his bitch of the month here in Minnesota, and the other way around, so he got double dissed by the girls. Now half the student body, mostly consisting of girls, won't talk to him. No wonder he's been acting like an ass hole lately.

As you know, Guy's forever had the title of Connie's boyfriend, but after trying to rekindle their love last year, they finally blew out the everlasting candle, so he's no longer hers. She's already moved onto other seniors and he's been checking up on the juniors. Connie's been an ass lately, because she expects us to treat her like a princess, her new boyfriends made her adopt a diva attitude. I don't think any of us, including Guy, are very fond of her anymore.

As for Charlie, well, he's the reason I exist. He and Linda broke up the beginning of sophomore year and he's been playing the field ever since. But he's always caring towards every girl he dates. He'd never mistreat anyone unless they mistreat him.

As for me, well, I'm the last Duck.

Definition: Adam Banks- gay and in love with Charlie Conway.

It's a scary thought actually, being in love with your best friend, at least he's not my roommate. I always have to be careful around him; I don't even touch his shoulder anymore, nodda, not even during practice or to congratulate him after a win. I think he's figured out I've been acting a little distant lately. I just hope he doesn't figure out why. I'm scared to be around him, so I admire him from afar. It's the only way I'd be safe. It's weird to think that it's my best friend I'm afraid of, if anything, I should be opening up to him, instead of confessing to my journal, but I just can't tell him my deepest secret. I wish I could, but I can't without the risk of him being disgusted by me. That'd probably hurt me more than my mother's slaps. I don't want to lose him, but I feel I will if I say something. Not only would Charlie criticize me, but just think of what my family would do. My father, well, it'd probably be the most words I'll ever get from him. My mother, she'd probably beat me fully. But my brother, now he's the only one I even could half trust to support me; he has through everything else I've done. Damn. Guy's coming in. Gotta go.

                                             ~Adam~

"Hey, Adam." Guy said walking into the dorm room he shared with the other boy. He threw his keys onto his desk and placed his winter jacket over the back of his desk chair.

"Hey, where've you been all night?" Adam asked, full of curiosity.

"Out with Nomi. Have I told you what a great girl she is, and how lucky I am to have her?" Guy asked sitting down on his bed.

"Only about a million times." Adam laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I talk about her a little to much, dude. But, come on, once you see her, you'll want to be in my shoes." Guy said.

"I doubt that, no matter how cute the girl is, I would never want to be in your shoes. Think about your ex." Adam explained grabbing his pajamas from his dresser draw and walking into the bathroom. He shut the door tightly behind himself.

"You're right." Guy stated sarcastically. He laid down on his bed and let his head waver, then fall to face Adam's bed. "Hey, what's that?" He questioned quietly.

He got up off his bed and walked carefully over to Adam's bed. He lifted the covers to see the entire notebook hiding under it. He read the cover silently. 'Adam's Journal,' he ran his finger over the imprinted letters. "I shouldn't do this." He said. "But he's been acting really weird lately, I have to do this." He convinced himself opening the book. He flipped to the present date and read from it.

"As for Charlie, well, he's the reason I exist." His eyes skipped down to the next lines. "Definition: Adam Banks- gay and in love with Charlie Conway." His hands started to shake and the book dropped out of his hands, landing on the carpeted floor. "Omigod." He whispered, his hand coming up to his mouth.

"What are you doing?" He heard the voice from behind him. Adam sounded angry, upset, and wait… was that scared?

"I…I'm sorry, Adam. I know I shouldn't have read that but—" Guy stuttered

"But, what?" Adam asked angrily. He stalked over to where Guy stood and picked up his journal. "You were just curious? How would you feel if someone knew things about yourself you didn't want told?" Adam yelled pushing the opened book up into Guy's face.

"I know I shouldn't have read that, but, Banks," Guy voice powered to get Adam to hear him, but his voice decreased when Adam landed on his bed in tears. "You have no idea how worried all the Ducks are for you. You don't talk to us anymore, what are we supposed to think about you? I think me reading this; regardless of what it says, is the best thing for you. Don't you feel better having one person knowing how you feel?" Guy asked sitting down next to the Adam. He reached over the obviously taller boy and grabbed the box of tissues. He pulled one out and handed it to Adam.

"It feels great to know someone knows my secret. But I would've preferred telling you myself instead of having you snoop around my stuff." Adam choked. "It's hard to keep a secret from all of you, especially when it's my life. But if someone finds out and tells him, that's the reason I don't want to tell him. I'd be so afraid if my secret got out." Adam cried.

"Adam, I understand you didn't want to tell anyone, but it's not good to keep things inside. Promise me that you'll talk to me, okay?" Guy said.

"I can't promise that." Adam whispered.

"Promise you'll try." Guys said desperately.

"I'll try." Adam's voice was still weak.

"Good. I'm going to get ready for bed now. Adam, you have nothing to be scared about, Charlie's your friend, he'll be there for you." Guy said walking to his dresser and pulling out his own pajamas to go and change. He walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Adam was still sitting in the same position. "Your secret is safe with me." He was kneeling at Adam's feet. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Adam reached over and shut off the lamp "Goodnight, Guy."

"Goodnight, Adam."

And they both fell asleep thinking of the ones they love most.

Nomi and Charlie…..

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

A.N. I didn't like my other slash story much, so I decided to put this up in its place. I hope its better than the other one, I know it's longer for sure. And I hope it didn't seem rushed, cause it did to me. And I know that I have a lot of other stories in the works but I really like this so far. And I hope you guys, too. Bye!

~*Angel*~