Chapter Twenty Two - Live Forever

"Mom!" Carter exclaimed.

"John."

"What are you doing here?!" He said excitedly as he hurried over to greet her.

He kissed her on the cheek and waited expectantly for the reason for her visit.

"I'm afraid it's not good news John." She said sadly, looking down at the floor.

"Why? What's happened?"

She glanced around nervously at her surroundings then returned to Carter who was now getting a bit worried.

"Mom what's happened?"

"It's Millicent. There's been an accident."

John's heart stopped.

"Gamma?" He silently muttered.

"She had a fall. She's been taken to hospital. We had to ring an ambulance."

"Oh my God. Well we've gotta go down there!" He said hurriedly as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

"John!" Eleanor shouted before he could leave.

He swung around and looked at his Mother.

"Be prepared for the worst. I think it's time." She said sadly, as she watched in pain at her sons mortified face.

He stood dead to the spot and waited for somebody to get hold of the situation and tell him what to do.

"John?" Abby prodded. "John?"

"Huh what?" He said suddenly, a little dazed.

"Do you want me to come?"

"No it's okay stay here."

"No I want to." She replied.

"You don't have.." He began.

"I want to." She interrupted.

"Okay come on." He said as all three of them hurried out the door.

Abby left the twenty on the doorstep and followed them quickly to the car. Eleanor got into her Rolls and followed John and Abby closely in the jeep all the way to the hospital. The ride was tense. Abby gently held John's hand the whole way as he drove, his eyes focused on the road. Every so often she would squeeze his hand just to let him know she was there. He would acknowledge her by smiling weakly at the corner of his mouth then return to his driving. It seemed like the hospital was miles away, he just wanted to be there. He couldn't believe it had happened. It was all so sudden. One minute he was having a quiet night in at his new home with his new wife, whom hadn't really been introduced to his family as his wife yet, and the next minute he was on his way to the hospital to see his dying Grand Mother. He knew his life was too good to be true, this was the bed thing that ended the run of good things.

After what seemed like forever, they arrived at the hospital. By this time it was pouring down with rain and the ambulance bay was filled with random puddles. John jumped out the car and turned to face Abby.

"Go. I'll park."

"You sure?"

"Yes go!" She shouted as he smiled at her and slammed the door.

He ran into the ER and to the admin area.

"Hey Cart.." Said Randi as he interrupted her.

"Randi where's my Grand Mother."

"I don't know I just got here." She replied confused.

"Who's been here longer then?"

"Dr Lewis. Exam One."

He spun around and went to find Susan. Sure enough there she was wrapping a man's arm in a sling.

"Carter!" She exclaimed when she saw him burst in. "Trauma Two. I'm sorry John."

"For what?"

"I'm just sorry."

He looked confused but decided to ignore it as he had somewhere else to be. He ran out the room and straight to the trauma room. He looked inside through the glass doors. There she was. Resting peacefully on the gurney. Was she stable? He slowly pushed open the swinging double doors and cautiously stepped inside the trauma room. The room was messy. Used gloves on the floor, tissue and other kinds of debris all around. There was an eerie silence apart from the quiet sound of the ventilator. It was like something out of a dream. He should have been used to this, but he knew this person. This person lying on the gurney, almost lifeless, and he felt helpless. There should have been something he could do, but there wasn't. At that point Haleh came in to change the saline bag.

"Dr Carter. I'm sorry."

Carter nodded at her in thanks. He couldn't talk right now. There was a lump in his throat and he knew it wouldn't leave until he knew Gamma was alright. Alive or dead, she had to be alright. Haleh walked out and left Carter in the room alone with the frail old lady on the gurney. He knew this would happen eventually, but why now? Why at a moment when he thought life couldn't get any better? Things always came and bit him in the ass, but this had to the worst. The only other thing that could be worse would be if it was..no, don't even think of it. Abby was fine.

He shook his head, as if that would get rid of these thoughts. He took another step closer until he was at her side. Her arms lay lifeless next to her thin body, and her chest rose every now and then. He could see it wouldn't be long now. He wanted to be able to talk to her, to tell her how much he loved her, but that seemed impossible now. His hand reached out cautiously to find hers. He felt the outside of her hand, cold, ice cold, and seemed like there was nothing left of her now. Now movement at his touch, but he grasped her hand in the hope she would recover. No luck. A chair in the corner of the room seemed an appropriate place for him. He moved it next to her and sat, still clutching her hand, watching and waiting for any sign of her awakening. Minutes passed but still nothing. Not so that you'd notice. Every now and then she would sigh, but still her eyes remained tightly shut, and her chest still rose at different times, not a pattern like normal. He sighed, it looked like there was nothing left for her now. Until.

Without warning, her eyes flickered slightly open, just enough for her to grasp where she was. John noticed and a smile spread across his face. She was awake.

"Gamma?"

"John, is that you?"

"Gamma it's me. I'm here. Thought we'd lost you for a minute."

She laughed a little.

"You can't get rid of me that easily." She joked, smiling a little, even though it looked like a strain.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not as young as I used to be I suppose John, but other than that I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Oh stop fussing John I'm fine."

"I'm sure they'll move you as soon as a bed is free."

"Well now that you mention it I'll be better when I get out of this dump. How do you work here John?"

"It's part of the job Gamma."

"Enough about me anyway. How was your break with Abigail?"

"Yeah it was great actually."

"I see you look well John."

"Thank you."

Just then, Abby tapped on the glass of the doors. Carter turned his head to see her standing there looking worried. She was so cute when she looked like that.

"Don't leave the poor girl standing there John tell her to come in!" Millicent demanded.

John motioned for Abby to come in, and cautiously she stepped in, quietly closing the doors behind her. She walked to the other side John was sitting of Millicent and softly leaned in to kiss her.

"Hi Mrs Carter how are you feeling?"

"It's Gamma dear. And I'm fine. John was just going on about that. Did you have a good trip dear?"

"Yeah it was really great thank you. I just wanted to thank you for it."

"For what Abigail?"

"The gift Gamma." Said John. "You've given us the island."

"Oh that. Well I have no use for it anymore do I?!" She joked.

"It was so nice thank you." Said Abby, who had now taken a seat next to the gurney.

"Come sit here." Said John, pointing to a spot next to him.

Abby smiled and moved her seat around next to him.

"You two look like the perfect couple sitting there." Observed Millicent, who looked like she was struggling a little to breathe.

"Thank you." Said John, who was feeling a little agitated. Abby could sense this, so she squeezed his hand as she held it and smiled at him, letting him know it was okay.

"You okay?" Abby said quietly.

He nodded his head, then kissed her head softly to thank her. Maybe there was light at the end of the tunnel, but all John wanted right now was to know what was going to happen. It was just a waiting game from now on till the end. He knew it all too well, from past experiences at his work, and with Bobby. Gamma was pretending she was alright, but he knew it was a cover. How much longer would it be?

"I'm a little tired John." Said Millicent who looked like she was drifting off.

"We'll give you some peace then Gamma." He kissed the top of her head then turned to walk out.

Suddenly the monitor began to beep faster and more frequently. He panicked, he couldn't help her, it was too much for him to handle. Abby ran out the trauma room to get someone.

"Susan! Gallant! Get in here!" She commanded when she saw them standing at the admin desk eating donuts with Frank.

"What is it?!" Susan called as they both ran into the trauma room.

Millicent was fitting now, and all John could do was stand and watch. Susan ran to her and began working.

"Get him out Abby!" She shouted, as John still stood, motionless to the spot, staring mouth open at his dying Grand Mother.

"Come on John." Abby pulled him back and outside the room. They watched in silence as the two doctors worked on Gamma. Haleh and Chuny had heard what had happened and were now in there lending a hand to Susan and Gallant.

"What's goin' on Carter?" Shouted a voice from behind him.

He ignored it and continued watching the scene in front of him. Abby turned to see Weaver standing behind them looking angry.

"It's his Grand Mother Dr Weaver."

Kerry looked in to see what was going on and pushed through to get in, shoving Carter out the way in order to help.

"What have we got?" Asked Kerry as she put on her gloves.

Back outside the trauma room, Carter and Abby still watched on as the drama continued. She grasped his hand, but it wasn't enough. There was no movement from him, or Millicent. His facial expression remained unmoved and he stayed glued to the spot, with Abby next to him, trying unsuccessfully to reassure him.

"It's gonna be alright John." She tried, but still nothing.

He squeezed her hand as a reply but he still remained undeterred and watching his Grand Mother lying on the gurney.

"Charge to 200!" Ordered Susan.

Carter saw and knew Gamma wouldn't want machines.

"No Susan!" He shouted as he barged in. "She didn't want that."

"What do you want me to do Carter?"

He remained silent, as the heart monitor became louder and louder, he didn't know what she wanted.

"Carter!" Susan pushed.

"Nothing. She wanted nothing." He sighed.

Everybody stopped and looked at him. Abby silently slid in behind him and pushed him towards the gurney. Gamma lay, now motionless, but still vaguely awake.

"Everybody out." Said Weaver.

The staff drifted out and left Carter and Abby alone in the room with Millicent.

"I'll give you a minute." Abby said turning to leave.

"No. Stay." Carter looked at her with a pained expression. "Please."

She walked towards him and his hand that was stretched out towards her. They took their seats once more and watched Millicent struggling to breathe.

"It's okay Gamma. Just go." Carter whispered into her ear as she breathed heavily.

"John." She breathed.

"I'm here. It's gonna be okay."

Tears were welling up in his eyes but he stayed unmoved to the spot on his seat, waiting for the inevitable.

"Be happy John." Millicent sighed.

"I will. I promise."

"I know John. I know."

"You know what?" He asked, confused but desperate for an answer.

She didn't answer, she just looked at Abby, then back at John. His hand she grasped rose and she looked at his finger. Abby and Carter both looked then realised.

"I know." She repeated before dropping his hand and closing her eyes, one last time.

"Gamma?" Silence. "Gamma?" Still silence.

"She's gone." Whispered Abby. "She's gone."

The heart monitor had now become a constant noise, deafening Carter. He suddenly pushed it to the ground with a loud crash, cutting out the piercing sound. He sat back down and leaned in to kiss his Grand Mother goodbye. With his head in his hands, he cried. Abby wrapped her arms around him as he cried. He cried into her shoulder, he cried for Gamma. She was gone.

Then, silence.