Always, Makoto

My Dearest Senpai,

It's been so long since I've seen you. And yet I cannot get your face out

of my head. The years really seem to pass quickly, don't they? It's now been two

years since our last day in the rain. I've been thinking about you a lot lately,

Senpai. Perhaps because as I write this note it is falling rain outside. Isn't it

interesting how certain dates just seem to stick in your mind? That last rainy day

does that to me. Whenever the heavens weep I cannot help but think of you.

I hope life has been treating you well. I'm fairing okay, I suppose. These

Tokyo skies are grey, but I have my plants to comfort me. What sort of things have

you been up to lately? Oh, I wish we could talk of such things again. I miss your

company, dear Senpai. Even our talks of the smallest things. Long days with no one

to talk to have had their toll on me.

Something has been bearing on my mind ever since our last meeting. It has

always been too painful to ask, but I suppose now it is even more painful to

continue wondering. What went wrong with us, dear Senpai? Did I, by chance, make

you want to leave? What did I do to wrong you? Whatever it be, I am forever in

regret. I couldn't bear to hurt you.

I am sorry I could not have been better. More graceful, intelligent,

feminine. If I could trade my height for a petite form, I would, if it should have

pleased you. I would change my rough appearance for that of a more feminine one.

But that is past now. And I cannot go back.

I thought it was love that we shared. And perhaps it was, on my part. But

love is something to be shared between two people, and I fear ours was not. All

our conversations, adventures, stolen kisses blinded me into believing their spell.

I suppose their charm kept me from seeing the obvious. That you weren't in love

with me.

I watch the rain fall outside and the hole in my heart deepens. I wish it

could have worked out between you and I, Senpai. But it didn't, and that's all

that can be said. I hope life brings you the love and happiness I could not give

you.

Much Love,

Makoto