Hello to everyone. This is Aaron again for Kerry, who is going very well! I
have promised her that if she is a good girl and stays in bed, she can log
online and write a nice message to everyone on Friday night. She sends her
love and has still been writing like crazy; she hates to be bored or
inactive! She hopes everyone enjoys the chapter and now on with the story:
Snape awoke from a tugging on his arm. As his senses became aware, he heard a little voice. "Daddy? Daddy?" Tirza was softly calling. He opened his eyes and sat up to find her standing right next to his bed. "I don't feel safe," she whispered. His eyes flickered to the alarm clock on the stand; it was 1AM. He had put Tirza back in bed after the meeting nearly three hours ago. He reached out a hand and gently stroked her cheek. "What do you mean?" Her eyes shifted to the floor. "I don't feel safe," she repeated. Severus cupped her chin in his hand and titled her head up to look at him. "What's wrong honey?" "Can you hold me daddy?" Severus nodded and she crawled onto his lap, leaning her head against his chest. "Tell me what's wrong," he urged gently. Her breathing was shallow and fast. "I just feel scared. I don't feel right; don't feel safe," she told him, clinging to him. "Why don't you feel safe?" Severus was becoming worried, but didn't understand what she was really talking about. Tirza shrugged her little shoulders. "I don't know why, but I do. And I'm scared. Are you mad?" Severus kissed her warm cheek. "Of course not baby. What can I do to make you feel better?" "I don't know daddy; but you'll always protect me, right?" There was a hint of panic in her voice and he hurried to reassure her. "Always. Don't ever worry about that." She leaned up and kissed his face. "You always make me feel safe daddy. Can I stay with you?" Severus nodded and she scurried under the blankets beside him, snuggling close. "Anything else I can do?" he asked, rubbing her shoulder. "Put your arm around me daddy, than I feel safer." Severus readily complied, pulling her close against him, his arm wrapped protectively around her. He listened as her breathing slowed and became steady as she drifted to sleep. He couldn't get back to sleep that easily. He looked down at his little girl, feeling sadness. It hurt him that things hurt her; he wished he could shield her from everything that could ever hurt her again. She had already been hurt so much by life; betrayed by life. He had always felt life was a dirty game, some kind of sick joke, but that had always just been his opinion because his life had never been sunshine and happiness. But to see things happen to his little girl, it was different. It didn't matter if he was given a bad time of life; she deserved so much better. She deserved everything that was happiness and nothing that was dark or painful. Perhaps he should consider having her see a wizard psychiatrist, Dumbledore had mentioned them before. He wished that he could solve everything himself and make her feel better. The thoughts swirled around in his head as he watched Tirza sleep; after several minutes they subsided and he fell back asleep with his arm still around her.
Tirza's hair was neatly braided and her face clean when she entered Isabel's classroom the next morning. "Good morning Tirza. Did you sleep well honey?" Tirza nodded. "Today I thought we'd start with a craft; have you ever weaved baskets?" Isabel asked. "Nope; is anything gonna explode?" Tirza replied. Isabel laughed. "No dear, we'd never do anything dangerous." Tirza excitedly took a seat at the table as Isabel set out the supplies. Once the supplies were set up, Isabel pulled her boom box out of a desk drawer. "We're going to practice multiplication tables to some music." Tirza raised an eyebrow. "How do you do that?" Isabel smiled. "I'll show you, it's a lot of fun." She turned on a bouncy song with good rhythm and sat next to Tirza. "Now you start like this and follow the beat. One times one is one; one times two is two," she began to snap her fingers as she sang with the beat. After singing a few multiplication problems, she paused the CD. "There's a different song for each set of times tables. Would you like to try now?" Tirza nodded and Isabel started the song over. "One times one is one; one times two is two." Tirza began to sing with the song, slow at first, but picked up speed as she got used to the beat. When she finished the first song, Isabel again paused the CD. "Now let me show you how to weave the baskets and than we can weave and sing together." Tirza giggled. "Ya know, you're pretty damn cool!" Isabel frowned. "Tirza, I do not want you using such unladylike and rude language." "My dad lets me," the little girl pointed out with a pout. "Not anymore. I have talked to him and we are both agreed that you need to use better language." Tirza frowned; she had been swearing for as long as she could remember. Even her mom swore! Who was this lady to tell her she couldn't and tell her dad to not let her? Tirza stomped her foot. "You can't tell me what to do!" "Yes I can young lady," Isabel scolded. "I am your teacher and an adult; you need to be a good girl and do as I say." Tirza's face grew dark with a horrible scowl. "I'll swear if I want to! I'm not gonna listen to you!" She stomped her feet emphasizing her statements. "Do not push me young lady..." Isabel warned. "Shut up! I don't have to listen to you; go to hell!" Tirza turned to run out of the room, but Isabel caught her and gently held her still. "Tirza, I don't want to fight with you. Can't you please try and stop swearing so we can get back to having fun again?" "Let go of me!" Tirza screamed and tried to pull away, but Isabel didn't let go. "Tirza, unless you calm down and talk to me with respect, I'm going to be upset," Isabel said, her voice kind but firm. Tirza continued to try and pull her arm out of Isabel's grasp. "I don't care, just let me go bitch or I'll tell my daddy on you!" Isabel looked at Tirza sternly. "Alright young lady; you can sit back down at your desk and write 100 times 'I will talk to my teacher with respect.' And also 'I will not use bad language' 100 times. I am very disappointed in you."
Tirza started to cry. "You can't make me do anything! You're not my mom and I want my daddy! I want my daddy right now!" Isabel hadn't really wanted to involve Snape in this; she didn't want him to think that she couldn't control her own student. But Tirza clearly wanted him and it wouldn't be right for her to keep Tirza from her father if she was upset. She also didn't want to have Tirza in trouble with her father, but there would be no pointing trying to dissuade the screaming child from seeing him. "Alright, than let's go see your father and find out what he has to say on the matter." Tirza looked at Isabel triumphantly through her tears and marched from the room with Isabel following close behind. Tirza burst into Snape's office where he was waiting for his first class to arrive in fifteen minutes. He looked up as she entered and he ran crying into his arms. "What happened?" he asked gently. Tirza shot an accusing glance at Isabel. "She yelled at me and told me I can't swear and she grabbed me," she mumbled through her tears. Snape looked at Isabel, an eyebrow raised. "Perhaps you can tell me what is going on here Miss Whittaker?" Isabel cleared her throat. "She said a swear word and I told her not to. She proceeded to tell me that she could swear anytime she wanted and threw a tantrum, swearing at me twice. She tried to run from the room, so I held her arm, but definitely not enough to hurt her, I would never do that. I told her to sit and write lines, but she refused and said she wanted to see you." Snape nodded. "And what expletives did she shout at you?" he asked. "I would prefer not to utter them," she replied. Snape pulled the sniffling Tirza's face away from his chest and looked at her sternly. "What did you say young lady?" Tirza sniffled again before answering. "I told her to go to hell and I called her a bitch," she whispered nervously. Snape took a deep breath and counted to ten before proceeding. "You know better than to speak to anyone that way, don't you?" Tears welled up in Tirza's eyes as she nodded. "Answer me aloud please," he ordered firmly. "Yes." "And I told you not to cause trouble for Miss Whittaker, didn't I?" "Yes," she whispered again. "And I told you to listen to Miss Whittaker like you would listen to me or grandpa or Oliver did I not?" She started to cry again and Severus wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her, but he had warned her about behaving badly for the teacher. "And do you remember what I said would happen if you did not behave?" Isabel watched the proceedings rather uncomfortably. She had not brought Tirza here to be scolded and lectured and yet that was exactly what was happening. She stood there quietly, not knowing if she should leave while Snape and Tirza talked or if she should stay where she was. "I didn't mean it daddy. I like Miss Whittaker and I don't really think she's...that word and I don't want her to go away either," Tirza explained through her tears. Snape nodded. "I know you like her, but than why did you say those things? You might have hurt Miss Whittaker's feelings," he gently scolded. Tirza nodded miserably. "I got mad; I don't like her telling me stuff I can't do." "If you weren't allergic to my soap, I'd be washing your mouth out right now. You need to learn to control your temper," he added. Tirza sniffled. "Why? You get to yell at people all that time." Isabel quickly turned her laugh into a cough, but Snape thankfully ignored her. "That's different; I yell at my students when they do not do as I asked," Snape told her. Tirza looked confused. "But I yelled at Miss Whittaker cuz she didn't do what I asked her to do. Isn't that the same?" Snape shook his head. "No dear, it's not. You are a little girl and you do not need to throw a tantrum each time you do not get your way. Now apologize to Miss Whittaker and than you and I shall discuss your misbehavior."
Tirza slowly shuffled over to Isabel, looking intently at the floor. "I'm really sorry; don't be sad," she whispered. Isabel knelt down and took the little girl in her arms. "I know you didn't mean it darling. Are you going to give me so much trouble over your language in the future?" Tirza shook her head no. Isabel kissed the top of Tirza's head. "Than all is forgiven." Tirza allowed Isabel to hold her a moment longer before pulling away. "Miss Whittaker, will you wait outside for a few moments?" Snape asked. Isabel looked at him. "I did not bring her here to be punished, so please do not do so on my account." "I understand Miss Whittaker, but I undoubtedly would have found out about this tantrum later on and I warned Tirza about causing trouble for you," he replied. "Than I shall wait outside," Isabel told him, turning to leave the office. Tirza turned her tear streaked face to look at her dad. "I'm sorry daddy; I didn't mean to be bad." Snape looked at the clock and sighed; his first class would be here any moment. He sat down at his desk. "Come here," he said softly. Tirza shuffled to his side. "Pwease don't spank me daddy!" He reached out and picked her up, setting her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "I won't... this time. This is your one and only warning young lady. I don't ever want you to swear at Miss Whittaker again; if you do, you'll be in very big trouble, understand?" Tirza wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I understand daddy. You're such a good daddy, do you know that?" Snape chuckled and kissed her head before setting her down. "I have a class now and so do you. You get going and be a good girl alright?" Tirza nodded and gave him another kiss. Snape playfully swatted her bottom as she ran past him and out the office door where Isabel stood waiting. "Can we go make baskets now?" Tirza asked. Isabel smiled. "After you write your lines." Tirza sighed. "That sucks." Isabel took Tirza's hand and they walked back to the classroom. When they entered the classroom, Tirza sat at her desk and pulled out her notebook and pen. "Um, what was I supposed to write again?" she asked shyly. "I forgot." "That's alright; I'll write them on the board for you," Isabel assured her. Tirza nodded and began to copy what Isabel wrote.
After lines were finished and they had gone through the multiplication songs, Isabel sat with Tirza working on weaving the baskets. "I'm gonna give mine to my daddy." Isabel smiled. "Going to, not gonna." Tirza nodded. "Sorry; I'm really stupid." "Tirza, don't talk that way. You are a very bright little girl," Isabel reassured her gently. Tirza shook her head no. "What makes you think that way?" "I don't know; I just know I am." Tirza stated quietly. Isabel looked at the little girl carefully. "Has someone told you you're stupid?" The little girl sighed but did not reply. "Has your father ever called you stupid?" "No, daddy wouldn't do that. He always tells me I'm not even though I think I am," Tirza replied. "Did your mother?" Tirza scowled and tears blurred her vision. "Don't talk about my mommy. I don't want to talk about her, it makes me sad inside," she whispered. Isabel watched as Tirza sniffled and rubbed her eyes. "Honey, did she ever call you stupid?" Tirza shook her head. "No, but I don't wanna talk about her." A few stray tears ran down her face. "Can't you tell me who it was?" Isabel asked softly. "Nobody did, okay? I just think so!" Tirza shouted. Isabel's heart went out to the little girl and she wished she could help her, if only she knew the whole story and where to start. Tirza threw her basket on the floor, frustrated that she couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She drew her knees up to her chest and put her head down, crying freely. She felt warm, gentle arms encircle her; she could smell Isabel's violet scented perfume. For a brief moment, she felt like she should resist the touch; the touch was so kind and warm and safe and familiar that Tirza wanted to welcome it. She uncurled her legs and wrapped her arms around Isabel's waist in return. Isabel welcomed the hug and continued to hold the crying child. Tirza felt so warm and so... there were just no words to describe it, but it felt so nice and she wondered why it had been so long since she felt that way. She enjoyed the feel of Isabel's gentle hug and leaned against her as Isabel began to rub her back. The familiarity of Isabel's touch suddenly registered, making Tirza feel sick and confused and angry. She carefully wriggled from Isabel's warm embrace and wiped her face on her sleeve. "Um, its two-thirty, can I go now?" she asked softly, not looking as Isabel. "Of course. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Tirza nodded and fled the room, going to the only place she could ever think clearly... the Astronomy tower.
Tirza sat on her bed, looking at a picture of her mother. She was angry with herself; she had liked being hugged by Isabel. It felt different than her daddy's hugs and Tirza had felt good and almost happy when Isabel hugged her. That wasn't the way she was supposed to feel. She shouldn't like another lady giving her hugs that reminded her of her mother. That wasn't right; in fact it was very bad. Tirza felt so confused. She liked Isabel and she liked being hugged by Isabel, but she felt like she was hurting her mom. Maybe her mom was looking down at her from heaven and crying. Tirza kissed the picture of her mother. "I'm sorry mommy. I won't do it again, I promise. I'll make it better, please don't cry," she whispered, looking up at her ceiling. She felt like a horrible person, like she had betrayed her mom. It was wrong to like another woman's affections. She continued to lie there on her stomach, looking at the picture, thinking of how she could make this up to her mother and make everything right. There was a knock on her door, but she didn't notice it, being so deep in thought. Snape stuck his head in the room. "Tirza?" She saw him and quickly put her picture under her pillow, a sheepish look coming over her face and she avoided looking at him. Snape raised an eyebrow. "What are you up to little miss?" "Nothing," Tirza whispered. Snape crossed the room and lifted her pillow revealing the picture of Ariel. He sat beside Tirza, who still wouldn't look at him. "Look at me," he asked softly. She shook her head no. Snape pulled her onto his lap and titled her head to look at him. "You miss your mother don't you?" Tirza nodded. "Honey, it doesn't hurt my feelings that you miss her. You loved your mother; it is only natural that you miss her." Tirza eyed his face. "Are you sure? I don't wanna make you sad." Snape smiled. "It doesn't make me sad; I promise. You can always come and talk to me if you feel sad and miss her very much." Tirza leaned against his chest and sighed. "Okay," she decided. "Did you want to talk about it?" Snape asked. "No," she replied quickly. Snape kissed her head. "Will you come to me when you are ready to talk?" "I guess so." "Do you promise?" Snape urged. "I don't like you keeping sad feeling to yourself; I want you to share them with me so I can help you." Tirza sighed. "I promise." "Do you feel like going to dinner, or shall we eat here?" "We can go," Tirza decided. "If you're sure, we should get going." Tirza nodded and slid off his lap and followed him to the Great Hall.
Tirza really didn't feel like eating; or at least eating anything except ice cream. She knew she had to or her dad would worry and she just wasn't ready to talk to him about it yet. She felt warm and kind of tired and hoped she wouldn't get sick; she noticed Isabel entered the Great Hall and sat in an empty chair near the other end of the table. Tirza was relieved that she didn't have to sit by her; she didn't want to make her mom any sadder than she already had. She felt so horrible about what she had done; she'd have to try really hard to keep her distance from Miss Whittaker. Maybe she should try and make Miss Whittaker leave by being really bad; she quickly dismissed that thought, she'd get into way too much trouble if she did that and she didn't want to make her dad upset too. She finished her roast and potatoes and half a glass of milk before asking for desert. Dumbledore happily passed Snape the chocolate pudding, which he dished into Tirza's bowl. Tirza gave him a small smile and began to eat; after only a few bites, she started to not feel good. "Daddy, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay?" she whispered. Snape nodded and she walked quickly from the Great Hall; she didn't want to run and attract attention. As soon as she left the hall, she ran for the bathroom, barely making it in time.
Dinner was just about over and Snape glanced at his watch; Tirza had left to use the lavatory ten minutes ago! He was concerned, but of course could not enter the girls' lavatory. He turned to ask McGonagall if she'd go check on Tirza when she spotted Isabel. "Isabel," he said, motioning her to come over to him. Isabel excused herself from her conversation with Madame Pompfrey and walked over to Snape. "Yes?" she asked. "Tirza went to the lavatory ten minutes ago and I am worried that she may be sick. I cannot go into the girls' lavatory and thought perhaps you would go check on her?" Isabel smiled. "Of course I will," she replied. "Thank you," Snape said quietly. She nodded and left the Great Hall. The girls' lavatory wasn't hard to find and Isabel entered. "Tirza?" she asked. Her reply was the wretching sound of someone throwing up. She checked the first open stall door and found Tirza hunched over the toilet, her skin almost looking green. "Honey what happened?" she asked, rubbing Tirza's back. "Sick," Tirza managed to choke out before having to throw up again. "Anything I can do?" Tirza shook her head. "I'm going to stay here until you feel up to moving and than I shall bring you to your father alright?" Tirza was too sick to care at the moment, even though she didn't want Isabel there, she was kind of afraid to be alone; it was scary to be sick. Tirza continued to be sick for almost twenty more minutes; she cried as she threw up, feeling miserable and wishing her dad was with her. Isabel rubbed her back soothingly and kept whispering that she'd be alright and that she'd stay with her. Again, Tirza welcomed Isabel's affections, needing them more at that moment than she even wanted to acknowledge. When the retching stopped, Isabel had a warm, wet cloth ready to wash Tirza's pale and sweaty face. Tirza leaned against Isabel, dizzy and weak. Isabel felt Tirza's forehead and could tell that she had a high fever. As soon as Isabel had cleaned Tirza's face, she gathered the little girl in her arms. Tirza's eyes were closed and she was quietly crying, feeling so very dizzy and tired. "Want mommy," she whispered. Isabel kissed Tirza's warm forehead and carefully stood up. "It's alright sweetie, you'll be okay, I promise," Isabel whispered to her. "I'm taking you to your father." "Mommy?" Tirza asked, her voice sounding panicked. "Hush sweetie," Isabel whispered. Snape was standing outside the lavatory door and turned as Isabel came out, holding Tirza in her arms. "Merlin, what happened?" Snape asked, taking Tirza and cradling her. "She was throwing up and she feels like she'd got a pretty high fever," Isabel told him. "Mommy?" Tirza asked again. "Poppy is still in the Great Hall; please go get her and tell her to meet me in the infirmary." Isabel nodded and took off running into the Great Hall as Snape hurriedly carried a now moaning Tirza to the hospital wing.
Snape awoke from a tugging on his arm. As his senses became aware, he heard a little voice. "Daddy? Daddy?" Tirza was softly calling. He opened his eyes and sat up to find her standing right next to his bed. "I don't feel safe," she whispered. His eyes flickered to the alarm clock on the stand; it was 1AM. He had put Tirza back in bed after the meeting nearly three hours ago. He reached out a hand and gently stroked her cheek. "What do you mean?" Her eyes shifted to the floor. "I don't feel safe," she repeated. Severus cupped her chin in his hand and titled her head up to look at him. "What's wrong honey?" "Can you hold me daddy?" Severus nodded and she crawled onto his lap, leaning her head against his chest. "Tell me what's wrong," he urged gently. Her breathing was shallow and fast. "I just feel scared. I don't feel right; don't feel safe," she told him, clinging to him. "Why don't you feel safe?" Severus was becoming worried, but didn't understand what she was really talking about. Tirza shrugged her little shoulders. "I don't know why, but I do. And I'm scared. Are you mad?" Severus kissed her warm cheek. "Of course not baby. What can I do to make you feel better?" "I don't know daddy; but you'll always protect me, right?" There was a hint of panic in her voice and he hurried to reassure her. "Always. Don't ever worry about that." She leaned up and kissed his face. "You always make me feel safe daddy. Can I stay with you?" Severus nodded and she scurried under the blankets beside him, snuggling close. "Anything else I can do?" he asked, rubbing her shoulder. "Put your arm around me daddy, than I feel safer." Severus readily complied, pulling her close against him, his arm wrapped protectively around her. He listened as her breathing slowed and became steady as she drifted to sleep. He couldn't get back to sleep that easily. He looked down at his little girl, feeling sadness. It hurt him that things hurt her; he wished he could shield her from everything that could ever hurt her again. She had already been hurt so much by life; betrayed by life. He had always felt life was a dirty game, some kind of sick joke, but that had always just been his opinion because his life had never been sunshine and happiness. But to see things happen to his little girl, it was different. It didn't matter if he was given a bad time of life; she deserved so much better. She deserved everything that was happiness and nothing that was dark or painful. Perhaps he should consider having her see a wizard psychiatrist, Dumbledore had mentioned them before. He wished that he could solve everything himself and make her feel better. The thoughts swirled around in his head as he watched Tirza sleep; after several minutes they subsided and he fell back asleep with his arm still around her.
Tirza's hair was neatly braided and her face clean when she entered Isabel's classroom the next morning. "Good morning Tirza. Did you sleep well honey?" Tirza nodded. "Today I thought we'd start with a craft; have you ever weaved baskets?" Isabel asked. "Nope; is anything gonna explode?" Tirza replied. Isabel laughed. "No dear, we'd never do anything dangerous." Tirza excitedly took a seat at the table as Isabel set out the supplies. Once the supplies were set up, Isabel pulled her boom box out of a desk drawer. "We're going to practice multiplication tables to some music." Tirza raised an eyebrow. "How do you do that?" Isabel smiled. "I'll show you, it's a lot of fun." She turned on a bouncy song with good rhythm and sat next to Tirza. "Now you start like this and follow the beat. One times one is one; one times two is two," she began to snap her fingers as she sang with the beat. After singing a few multiplication problems, she paused the CD. "There's a different song for each set of times tables. Would you like to try now?" Tirza nodded and Isabel started the song over. "One times one is one; one times two is two." Tirza began to sing with the song, slow at first, but picked up speed as she got used to the beat. When she finished the first song, Isabel again paused the CD. "Now let me show you how to weave the baskets and than we can weave and sing together." Tirza giggled. "Ya know, you're pretty damn cool!" Isabel frowned. "Tirza, I do not want you using such unladylike and rude language." "My dad lets me," the little girl pointed out with a pout. "Not anymore. I have talked to him and we are both agreed that you need to use better language." Tirza frowned; she had been swearing for as long as she could remember. Even her mom swore! Who was this lady to tell her she couldn't and tell her dad to not let her? Tirza stomped her foot. "You can't tell me what to do!" "Yes I can young lady," Isabel scolded. "I am your teacher and an adult; you need to be a good girl and do as I say." Tirza's face grew dark with a horrible scowl. "I'll swear if I want to! I'm not gonna listen to you!" She stomped her feet emphasizing her statements. "Do not push me young lady..." Isabel warned. "Shut up! I don't have to listen to you; go to hell!" Tirza turned to run out of the room, but Isabel caught her and gently held her still. "Tirza, I don't want to fight with you. Can't you please try and stop swearing so we can get back to having fun again?" "Let go of me!" Tirza screamed and tried to pull away, but Isabel didn't let go. "Tirza, unless you calm down and talk to me with respect, I'm going to be upset," Isabel said, her voice kind but firm. Tirza continued to try and pull her arm out of Isabel's grasp. "I don't care, just let me go bitch or I'll tell my daddy on you!" Isabel looked at Tirza sternly. "Alright young lady; you can sit back down at your desk and write 100 times 'I will talk to my teacher with respect.' And also 'I will not use bad language' 100 times. I am very disappointed in you."
Tirza started to cry. "You can't make me do anything! You're not my mom and I want my daddy! I want my daddy right now!" Isabel hadn't really wanted to involve Snape in this; she didn't want him to think that she couldn't control her own student. But Tirza clearly wanted him and it wouldn't be right for her to keep Tirza from her father if she was upset. She also didn't want to have Tirza in trouble with her father, but there would be no pointing trying to dissuade the screaming child from seeing him. "Alright, than let's go see your father and find out what he has to say on the matter." Tirza looked at Isabel triumphantly through her tears and marched from the room with Isabel following close behind. Tirza burst into Snape's office where he was waiting for his first class to arrive in fifteen minutes. He looked up as she entered and he ran crying into his arms. "What happened?" he asked gently. Tirza shot an accusing glance at Isabel. "She yelled at me and told me I can't swear and she grabbed me," she mumbled through her tears. Snape looked at Isabel, an eyebrow raised. "Perhaps you can tell me what is going on here Miss Whittaker?" Isabel cleared her throat. "She said a swear word and I told her not to. She proceeded to tell me that she could swear anytime she wanted and threw a tantrum, swearing at me twice. She tried to run from the room, so I held her arm, but definitely not enough to hurt her, I would never do that. I told her to sit and write lines, but she refused and said she wanted to see you." Snape nodded. "And what expletives did she shout at you?" he asked. "I would prefer not to utter them," she replied. Snape pulled the sniffling Tirza's face away from his chest and looked at her sternly. "What did you say young lady?" Tirza sniffled again before answering. "I told her to go to hell and I called her a bitch," she whispered nervously. Snape took a deep breath and counted to ten before proceeding. "You know better than to speak to anyone that way, don't you?" Tears welled up in Tirza's eyes as she nodded. "Answer me aloud please," he ordered firmly. "Yes." "And I told you not to cause trouble for Miss Whittaker, didn't I?" "Yes," she whispered again. "And I told you to listen to Miss Whittaker like you would listen to me or grandpa or Oliver did I not?" She started to cry again and Severus wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her, but he had warned her about behaving badly for the teacher. "And do you remember what I said would happen if you did not behave?" Isabel watched the proceedings rather uncomfortably. She had not brought Tirza here to be scolded and lectured and yet that was exactly what was happening. She stood there quietly, not knowing if she should leave while Snape and Tirza talked or if she should stay where she was. "I didn't mean it daddy. I like Miss Whittaker and I don't really think she's...that word and I don't want her to go away either," Tirza explained through her tears. Snape nodded. "I know you like her, but than why did you say those things? You might have hurt Miss Whittaker's feelings," he gently scolded. Tirza nodded miserably. "I got mad; I don't like her telling me stuff I can't do." "If you weren't allergic to my soap, I'd be washing your mouth out right now. You need to learn to control your temper," he added. Tirza sniffled. "Why? You get to yell at people all that time." Isabel quickly turned her laugh into a cough, but Snape thankfully ignored her. "That's different; I yell at my students when they do not do as I asked," Snape told her. Tirza looked confused. "But I yelled at Miss Whittaker cuz she didn't do what I asked her to do. Isn't that the same?" Snape shook his head. "No dear, it's not. You are a little girl and you do not need to throw a tantrum each time you do not get your way. Now apologize to Miss Whittaker and than you and I shall discuss your misbehavior."
Tirza slowly shuffled over to Isabel, looking intently at the floor. "I'm really sorry; don't be sad," she whispered. Isabel knelt down and took the little girl in her arms. "I know you didn't mean it darling. Are you going to give me so much trouble over your language in the future?" Tirza shook her head no. Isabel kissed the top of Tirza's head. "Than all is forgiven." Tirza allowed Isabel to hold her a moment longer before pulling away. "Miss Whittaker, will you wait outside for a few moments?" Snape asked. Isabel looked at him. "I did not bring her here to be punished, so please do not do so on my account." "I understand Miss Whittaker, but I undoubtedly would have found out about this tantrum later on and I warned Tirza about causing trouble for you," he replied. "Than I shall wait outside," Isabel told him, turning to leave the office. Tirza turned her tear streaked face to look at her dad. "I'm sorry daddy; I didn't mean to be bad." Snape looked at the clock and sighed; his first class would be here any moment. He sat down at his desk. "Come here," he said softly. Tirza shuffled to his side. "Pwease don't spank me daddy!" He reached out and picked her up, setting her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "I won't... this time. This is your one and only warning young lady. I don't ever want you to swear at Miss Whittaker again; if you do, you'll be in very big trouble, understand?" Tirza wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I understand daddy. You're such a good daddy, do you know that?" Snape chuckled and kissed her head before setting her down. "I have a class now and so do you. You get going and be a good girl alright?" Tirza nodded and gave him another kiss. Snape playfully swatted her bottom as she ran past him and out the office door where Isabel stood waiting. "Can we go make baskets now?" Tirza asked. Isabel smiled. "After you write your lines." Tirza sighed. "That sucks." Isabel took Tirza's hand and they walked back to the classroom. When they entered the classroom, Tirza sat at her desk and pulled out her notebook and pen. "Um, what was I supposed to write again?" she asked shyly. "I forgot." "That's alright; I'll write them on the board for you," Isabel assured her. Tirza nodded and began to copy what Isabel wrote.
After lines were finished and they had gone through the multiplication songs, Isabel sat with Tirza working on weaving the baskets. "I'm gonna give mine to my daddy." Isabel smiled. "Going to, not gonna." Tirza nodded. "Sorry; I'm really stupid." "Tirza, don't talk that way. You are a very bright little girl," Isabel reassured her gently. Tirza shook her head no. "What makes you think that way?" "I don't know; I just know I am." Tirza stated quietly. Isabel looked at the little girl carefully. "Has someone told you you're stupid?" The little girl sighed but did not reply. "Has your father ever called you stupid?" "No, daddy wouldn't do that. He always tells me I'm not even though I think I am," Tirza replied. "Did your mother?" Tirza scowled and tears blurred her vision. "Don't talk about my mommy. I don't want to talk about her, it makes me sad inside," she whispered. Isabel watched as Tirza sniffled and rubbed her eyes. "Honey, did she ever call you stupid?" Tirza shook her head. "No, but I don't wanna talk about her." A few stray tears ran down her face. "Can't you tell me who it was?" Isabel asked softly. "Nobody did, okay? I just think so!" Tirza shouted. Isabel's heart went out to the little girl and she wished she could help her, if only she knew the whole story and where to start. Tirza threw her basket on the floor, frustrated that she couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She drew her knees up to her chest and put her head down, crying freely. She felt warm, gentle arms encircle her; she could smell Isabel's violet scented perfume. For a brief moment, she felt like she should resist the touch; the touch was so kind and warm and safe and familiar that Tirza wanted to welcome it. She uncurled her legs and wrapped her arms around Isabel's waist in return. Isabel welcomed the hug and continued to hold the crying child. Tirza felt so warm and so... there were just no words to describe it, but it felt so nice and she wondered why it had been so long since she felt that way. She enjoyed the feel of Isabel's gentle hug and leaned against her as Isabel began to rub her back. The familiarity of Isabel's touch suddenly registered, making Tirza feel sick and confused and angry. She carefully wriggled from Isabel's warm embrace and wiped her face on her sleeve. "Um, its two-thirty, can I go now?" she asked softly, not looking as Isabel. "Of course. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Tirza nodded and fled the room, going to the only place she could ever think clearly... the Astronomy tower.
Tirza sat on her bed, looking at a picture of her mother. She was angry with herself; she had liked being hugged by Isabel. It felt different than her daddy's hugs and Tirza had felt good and almost happy when Isabel hugged her. That wasn't the way she was supposed to feel. She shouldn't like another lady giving her hugs that reminded her of her mother. That wasn't right; in fact it was very bad. Tirza felt so confused. She liked Isabel and she liked being hugged by Isabel, but she felt like she was hurting her mom. Maybe her mom was looking down at her from heaven and crying. Tirza kissed the picture of her mother. "I'm sorry mommy. I won't do it again, I promise. I'll make it better, please don't cry," she whispered, looking up at her ceiling. She felt like a horrible person, like she had betrayed her mom. It was wrong to like another woman's affections. She continued to lie there on her stomach, looking at the picture, thinking of how she could make this up to her mother and make everything right. There was a knock on her door, but she didn't notice it, being so deep in thought. Snape stuck his head in the room. "Tirza?" She saw him and quickly put her picture under her pillow, a sheepish look coming over her face and she avoided looking at him. Snape raised an eyebrow. "What are you up to little miss?" "Nothing," Tirza whispered. Snape crossed the room and lifted her pillow revealing the picture of Ariel. He sat beside Tirza, who still wouldn't look at him. "Look at me," he asked softly. She shook her head no. Snape pulled her onto his lap and titled her head to look at him. "You miss your mother don't you?" Tirza nodded. "Honey, it doesn't hurt my feelings that you miss her. You loved your mother; it is only natural that you miss her." Tirza eyed his face. "Are you sure? I don't wanna make you sad." Snape smiled. "It doesn't make me sad; I promise. You can always come and talk to me if you feel sad and miss her very much." Tirza leaned against his chest and sighed. "Okay," she decided. "Did you want to talk about it?" Snape asked. "No," she replied quickly. Snape kissed her head. "Will you come to me when you are ready to talk?" "I guess so." "Do you promise?" Snape urged. "I don't like you keeping sad feeling to yourself; I want you to share them with me so I can help you." Tirza sighed. "I promise." "Do you feel like going to dinner, or shall we eat here?" "We can go," Tirza decided. "If you're sure, we should get going." Tirza nodded and slid off his lap and followed him to the Great Hall.
Tirza really didn't feel like eating; or at least eating anything except ice cream. She knew she had to or her dad would worry and she just wasn't ready to talk to him about it yet. She felt warm and kind of tired and hoped she wouldn't get sick; she noticed Isabel entered the Great Hall and sat in an empty chair near the other end of the table. Tirza was relieved that she didn't have to sit by her; she didn't want to make her mom any sadder than she already had. She felt so horrible about what she had done; she'd have to try really hard to keep her distance from Miss Whittaker. Maybe she should try and make Miss Whittaker leave by being really bad; she quickly dismissed that thought, she'd get into way too much trouble if she did that and she didn't want to make her dad upset too. She finished her roast and potatoes and half a glass of milk before asking for desert. Dumbledore happily passed Snape the chocolate pudding, which he dished into Tirza's bowl. Tirza gave him a small smile and began to eat; after only a few bites, she started to not feel good. "Daddy, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay?" she whispered. Snape nodded and she walked quickly from the Great Hall; she didn't want to run and attract attention. As soon as she left the hall, she ran for the bathroom, barely making it in time.
Dinner was just about over and Snape glanced at his watch; Tirza had left to use the lavatory ten minutes ago! He was concerned, but of course could not enter the girls' lavatory. He turned to ask McGonagall if she'd go check on Tirza when she spotted Isabel. "Isabel," he said, motioning her to come over to him. Isabel excused herself from her conversation with Madame Pompfrey and walked over to Snape. "Yes?" she asked. "Tirza went to the lavatory ten minutes ago and I am worried that she may be sick. I cannot go into the girls' lavatory and thought perhaps you would go check on her?" Isabel smiled. "Of course I will," she replied. "Thank you," Snape said quietly. She nodded and left the Great Hall. The girls' lavatory wasn't hard to find and Isabel entered. "Tirza?" she asked. Her reply was the wretching sound of someone throwing up. She checked the first open stall door and found Tirza hunched over the toilet, her skin almost looking green. "Honey what happened?" she asked, rubbing Tirza's back. "Sick," Tirza managed to choke out before having to throw up again. "Anything I can do?" Tirza shook her head. "I'm going to stay here until you feel up to moving and than I shall bring you to your father alright?" Tirza was too sick to care at the moment, even though she didn't want Isabel there, she was kind of afraid to be alone; it was scary to be sick. Tirza continued to be sick for almost twenty more minutes; she cried as she threw up, feeling miserable and wishing her dad was with her. Isabel rubbed her back soothingly and kept whispering that she'd be alright and that she'd stay with her. Again, Tirza welcomed Isabel's affections, needing them more at that moment than she even wanted to acknowledge. When the retching stopped, Isabel had a warm, wet cloth ready to wash Tirza's pale and sweaty face. Tirza leaned against Isabel, dizzy and weak. Isabel felt Tirza's forehead and could tell that she had a high fever. As soon as Isabel had cleaned Tirza's face, she gathered the little girl in her arms. Tirza's eyes were closed and she was quietly crying, feeling so very dizzy and tired. "Want mommy," she whispered. Isabel kissed Tirza's warm forehead and carefully stood up. "It's alright sweetie, you'll be okay, I promise," Isabel whispered to her. "I'm taking you to your father." "Mommy?" Tirza asked, her voice sounding panicked. "Hush sweetie," Isabel whispered. Snape was standing outside the lavatory door and turned as Isabel came out, holding Tirza in her arms. "Merlin, what happened?" Snape asked, taking Tirza and cradling her. "She was throwing up and she feels like she'd got a pretty high fever," Isabel told him. "Mommy?" Tirza asked again. "Poppy is still in the Great Hall; please go get her and tell her to meet me in the infirmary." Isabel nodded and took off running into the Great Hall as Snape hurriedly carried a now moaning Tirza to the hospital wing.
