Aaron says hello again to all! Kerry is doing very well and will be back to
work in a week. She has been a very good girl, so check at the end for her
messages to everyone. And now the new chapter:
An hour later, Severus sat in an armchair that he pulled next to the couch, watching Tirza sleep. A knock on the door drew his attention away from the sleeping child and he got up to open the door. "I hope I'm not disturbing you; I was wondering how Tirza is doing," Isabel said quietly. Severus nodded. "You're not disturbing at all; please come in, she's asleep." He closed the door behind her as she entered and sat in the other armchair near the fireplace. Snape pulled the armchair away from the couch, back to its original spot by the fireplace, so that he and Isabel could talk without disturbing Tirza. "What did Madame Pompfrey have to say?" Isabel asked. Snape sighed. "There is nothing wrong with her physically that Poppy can find; I suspected the flu, but all tests came back negative." "You said physically; does she think that there might be something else wrong?" Isabel wondered. "Tirza is a very sensitive child; her emotions seem to be directly tied to her physical well being. Whenever she is upset about something, she becomes sick; the more upset she is, the more violently sick she becomes," Severus told her. "What could cause her to become so sick?" "I really don't have any idea, yet. Poppy gave her things to calm the nausea and it put her to sleep. I will find out as soon as she wakes; I know that she has some sort of muggle medicine for such episodes, but do not know why she doesn't use them," he commented. Isabel nodded. "Perhaps I could speak with her? If there is something bothering her so much in the mental sense that it is causing physical disturbances, I think it would be wise." "I agree with you, but I know my daughter. She'd have to reveal certain intimate secrets and she'd have trouble being around you after telling you her secrets. I think it would very much interfere with you teaching her," Snape said, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "I have already spoken to Dumbledore about arranging for a woman wizard psychiatrist to come and speak with Tirza." He could see the visible relief on Isabel's face. "Will she be alright?" Snape nodded. "It always passes as soon as she decides to deal with the problem or at least speak of it with me. But it returns as soon as something else bothers her. She's very complicated and I worry about her." "I've noticed that she gets very upset whenever I've asked her about her mother," Isabel noted. Snape's eyebrow rose. "No wonder she got sick; she was looking at her mother's picture earlier and having her mentioned... I know there is more between Tirza and her mother than she will tell me. She prefers not to think of her mother very often." "I am so sorry," Isabel gushed. "I wish I had known, I never would have brought it up and caused this." Snape waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "There was no way for you to have known, do not worry over it. As I said before, she is very sensitive and nearly everything affects her in some way. She also has a habit of taking things out of context and thinking very badly of herself."
"Speaking of thinking badly about herself, she told me earlier that she was stupid. I tried to tell her she wasn't, but she didn't believe me. I have a feeling that someone close to her has told her she's stupid, possibly told her other things as well. I inquired whether or not it was you and she very heatedly denied that idea, saying you would never say something like that to her," Isabel mentioned. Snape sighed. "Yes, she does not have a very high opinion of herself; that, among other things, are hopefully things she will allow me to help her work on." Isabel looked intently into his eye for a moment. "You're very dedicated to her aren't you?" He nodded and cast a glance at Tirza. "Yes. Before she came, there was just myself, nothing I really cared much about. Than she came and all that changed; many things have changed." It surprised him that he had said that and a slight blush crept up his face; it was still hard for him to speak of his feelings with anyone but Tirza, who needed the constant reassurance of his affections. "She's a very special child; though I have not known her for long, I have found myself very attached," Isabel told him quietly. Both looked over at Tirza, curled up in a quilt, hugging Molly, breathing softly. Snape smiled rather shyly. "She is quite bewitching. Despite being a teacher, I've never had much tolerance for children and didn't know if I'd be able to stand her. I quickly discovered that I wanted to tolerate her. We've had our rough spots, I assure you, but she tries." "I've noticed that she has quite a temper and rumor has it that she can attribute that to you," Isabel lightly commented. "Unfortunately yes; her mother was soft spoken and sensitive, both qualities that I lacked than and still do now," he admitted, not looking at Isabel. "A temper is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you exercise control and caution. I inherited mine from my mother, a full blooded Irish woman. One of the kindest, most generous women you'll ever meet, but when she gets riled up, it's a force to be reckoned with," Isabel said, a smile on her face and a quiet laugh. Snape chuckled softly. He started to reply, but a stirring from the couch caught their attention. Snape was instantly at Tirza's side.
"Mommy?" she called softly. Severus stroked her hair. "Hush baby, daddy's here." Tirza shook her head, her eyes closed. "Where's mommy?" "She's not here," he told her softly. "I saw her daddy, she was here. She came to me when I was sick," she told him indignantly. Severus kissed her forehead. "Darling, your mother..." His voice cracked as he continued. "She passed away remember?" "I know daddy, but I saw her!" She sat up and looked wildly around the room. "MOMMY!" she screamed. Her eyes landed on Isabel, who still sat in the chair beside the fire. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. "It was you," she whispered. "It wasn't mommy, it was you." Isabel nodded, not sure what to say. "I did it again," she whispered. Snape sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. "What did you do?" he asked gently. She didn't say anything, but she stopped looking at Isabel and shifted her gaze to her hands as a stray tear slipped down her face. "I have a lot of work to do so I'd best leave. I hope you are feeling okay Tirza," Isabel said tentatively. Snape nodded and Tirza said nothing, still staring at her hands. Isabel quietly let herself out of the dungeon chambers. "Honey, what is making you so upset?" Tirza shook her head. "Don't wanna talk about it." She buried her head against his chest and cuddled close. Snape held her and rocked her gently. "You have to tell me. You know you'll get sick again if you don't." "Don't make me tell yet daddy, I'm not ready," she pleaded. "Baby, why don't you take your pills? You have only been taking them for the really bad nightmares and you said they are for all of your panic attacks," Severus inquired, still rocking her in his arms. "I'm afraid to take them all the time." "Why?" Tirza took a deep, shaky breath. "If I take pills all the time, than I'll get to like them too much like..." She suddenly stopped. "Baby, who liked pills too much?" She remained silent, taking deep breaths. "You have to tell me," Snape told her, his tone firm, but kind. "Mommy," she whispered. "The doctor gived her pills for the chemo stuff that made her sick and the pills made her better, so she used them a lot and she couldn't stop and the doctor had to take them away and she had to be in the hospital for a whole week and I couldn't see her and she said it was really hard and made her cry and hurt and I don't wanna hurt more than I do and I don't wanna be at the hospital a whole week without you, cuz I'd be really scared cuz you protect me," she told him, quickly spilling the whole story. Snape silently cursed Ariel. He could understand her getting hooked on something for her cancer, but why did she tell Tirza about what she suffered when she was taken off and had with drawls? Tirza was a child; she didn't need to know such things!
"Darling, I understand that you don't want to like the pills too much, but look what happens when you don't take them. What if Isabel hadn't gone to look for you in the lavatory? You could have passed out and been sick in there for a long time," Snape pointed out. Tirza sniffled. "I won't take them and you can't make me! Even if you spank me every day for ever and ever I won't take them!" She shouted. Snape knew if was a true fear and tried to think of a way to ease her fears. "What if I could make you a potion that was just like the pills, but made it impossible for you to like them too much? Would you take that potion like a good girl?" Tirza nodded. "And would you tell me right away when you need it so you don't get sick?" She nodded again. "You're so smart daddy, not like me. I always do stupid things." Severus looked at her sternly. "How many times have I told you not to say that young lady, hmm?" Tirza ducked her head. "Millions?" she piped up. "It certainly feels like it's been that many times, so why do you keep saying it?" "It's true," she whispered. He looked her straight in the eye. "NO IT IS NOT," he told her loudly. She scowled. "Don't lie daddy; you tell me not too." "It is not a lie young lady, it is the truth. You are not stupid or dumb or mental or any of the other things I've heard you say about yourself. It's just not true and it hurts me to know you feel that way." She looked up at him. "See, I'm stupid; I hurt your feelings and I didn't even know." Snape sighed. "You are the most kind, loving, beautiful, caring, sweet, thoughtful, cute, adorable, wonderful, radiant like sunshine, fun, funny, smart, terrific, fantastic daughter that has ever lived." She eyed him suspiciously. "Am I really all of those words daddy?" He nodded. "You are indeed and I know a lot of people who think so too. You are too hard on yourself and I don't want to hear you say bad things about yourself anymore, or else. Understood?" She gave him an intense look. "What ya gonna do if I do say it?" Snape looked at her with his most serious face. "I'll wash your mouth out with soap." Her eyes widened. "Daddy, I'm allergic to your soap, remember?" "I also know that you have your own soap that you are not allergic too," he pointed out. "I'll also wash your mouth out if I hear anymore swear words directed at people. I'll give you a little leeway while you try to break the habit, but I am serious. And there's something else I wanted to tell you. Baby, I think you need to talk to someone about feeling stupid and the other things as well."
Tirza's face instantly became dark. "I don't wanna!" "I understand what happened the last time you went, but this will be different, I promise. This lady is just going to listen to you and try to help you, like a doctor," Snape tried to explain. "Pwease don't make me daddy, pwease?" He sighed. "Baby, I'd never let anything bad happen to you and I know this lady could help. Can't you please try?" She shook her head no. "I'll make you a deal; if you meet this lady and talk to her once and don't like her, I'll send her away. But if you do like her and she can help you, you'll continue to talk to her. Can you do that for me?" Tirza scrunched her face up in thought. "Only for you daddy, cuz I love you and I trust you. I know you wouldn't let anything bad happen, right?" He nodded. "Than I guess I'll try. Can you come with me?" Her dark eyes pleaded with him. "If it will make you feel better, than yes, I will. How are you feeling right now? Any nausea?" Snape asked. Tirza sighed. "No, I feel okay now.' He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'm glad. Do you feel ready to talk yet?" "No and don't push me, okay. I promise I'll come and tell you when I feel ready, okay?" Tirza asked, a bit annoyed at his persistence. "Alright, I won't push you," Snape relented. "But I do want you to get ready for bed." Tirza groaned, a frown creeping up on her face. "Do I have to?" Snape nodded. "This is your last night of early bedtime though, so do not fight me or I'll make it longer." Tirza rolled her eyes and slid off his lap. "Okay okay, I'll go get ready." She walked to her room and Snape watched her go. He sighed, feeling worried and tired from her sickness earlier; he also felt relief that Isabel was turning out to be someone who could handle Tirza and love her and that Tirza liked her as well. Snape was glad that they got along for the most part and that Isabel was not some idiot that annoyed him; in fact she was the opposite and he had enjoyed talking with her earlier and would not be opposed to speaking with her again like that. Tirza bounced onto his lap, bringing his attention away from thoughts of the pleasant tutor and back into the present moment. "Can I have a bed time story daddy?" Severus smiled and stood up. "Alright, but just one." Tirza giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him several kisses as he carried her to her bedroom.
Tirza stood outside her classroom and scowled at Snape and stomped. "I'm not gonna take those pills with me to school!" Snape's face had a scowl that matched hers. "Oh yes you are." "The hell I am!" Tirza realized her mistake and slapped her hands over her mouth. "Alright young lady, here are the rules. You get two warnings for swearing; the third time I hear it, you're getting your mouth washed out, understood?" She nodded. "Sorry daddy." "Now put these in your pocket." Snape held out the bottle of pills. "NO NO NO NO NO!" She stomped several times for extra effect. "Take the pills, Tirza." Snape's voice was low and angry. "NO!" Tirza growled. "This is your last warning young lady!" Snape shouted. Tirza reached out and slapped the bottle from his outstretched hand. Snape could not believe her attitude and it took him almost a minute to react. "You pick that up right now or you are going to be in trouble!" he ordered. "NO WAY!" She screamed. Snape understood that she didn't want the pills, but they had talked about this before. "You have five seconds to pick up that bottle. One... two... three..." Tirza stood there defiantly, her hands on her hips, making no move towards the fallen bottle. "Five!" Snape reached out and caught her arm, pulling her towards him, heading for an empty classroom. "You are getting a spanking young lady; I am not going to put up with your tantrums." Tirza started to cry. "I'm scared daddy! Don't spank me! And you promised me a potion!" Snape stopped in his tracks; she was right. She wasn't trying to be naughty, she was just very afraid. Snape stopped and set her on the floor in front of him. "I will make you a potion, but it will take me a few days. You need to have the pills in case you get sick; I promise that a few days won't make you like them too much." She wiped her eyes and studied his face. "You promise?" He nodded. "Okay, I'll take them with me, but I'm not happy." Snape hugged her and kissed her head, than handed her the pills. "Now you go in before we are both late and if you have to take a pill, come and tell me alright?" She nodded and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. "Okay daddy. Will you come get me for lunch?" "Yes I will baby, now you be good, alright?" She nodded and he watched as she entered the classroom; he shook his head as he turned and walked down the hallway. Isabel turned from the blackboard to look at the door as she heard it open; she smiled brightly at Tirza. "Hi honey; are you feeling better today?" Despite herself, Tirza smiled back. "Yeah, I'm doing okay." "Your dad told me last night that you get sick when things are bothering you; I just want to let you know that if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I would be very happy to listen and help in anyway I can." Tirza nodded; it was no wonder that she liked this lady and her affection. She shouldn't like it though, and that was the problem. "Thank you," she whispered. Isabel motioned for Tirza to sit beside her and the little girl sat across from her, not wanting to be too close. "You can sit by me Tirza," Isabel told her. "I want to sit over here," Tirza whispered. "Can I come sit by you?" Isabel wondered. Tirza shrugged her shoulders. "If you want to, I guess so." Isabel crossed the room to sit beside her, bringing their partially finished baskets from yesterday. "I thought we'd finish these and than paint them while we watch some School House Rock." Tirza just nodded and looked away when Isabel smiled at her. "I remember that I call you mommy yesterday!" Tirza blurted out. "Yes, I remember that too," Isabel replied. "But I didn't mean it because you aren't my mommy and I don't want you to be because I already had one and she was a good mommy and I don't need you to be my mommy, okay?" "I understand sweetie; you were sick and it made you confused. I didn't take that to mean that you wanted me as your mother," Isabel stated. "Good," Tirza decided. Isabel looked at her closely. "Are you sure you're okay?" Tirza nodded and turned her attention to the School House Rock and her basket. As the school day wore on, Isabel grew concerned. Tirza hardly talked at all, except when spoken too, and was not interested in playing games with Isabel at recess or break. The last thing they did was start to paint the baskets. Tirza reached for the green paint and managed to get a large glob of it on her hand. "Here I'll help you," Isabel took Tirza's little hand, but Tirza pulled it away. "Don't touch me!" she shouted. "You're acting strange today Tirza; is there something wrong?" "I just don't like to be touched so don't ever touch me!" Tirza screamed. She started to shake and reached into her pocket, pulling out her bottle of pills. "I need to take my medicine, I'll be back," Tirza told Isabel, her voice dark. "School is over in ten minutes, you can just go for the day if you wish," Isabel said gently. "Fine," Tirza stated. She took her bottle of pills and ran from the room.
Tirza ran down the hallway and turned a corner, nearly running right into Dumbledore. "Where are you going so fast?" "Hi grandpa," she mumbled. "Where's my little sunshine? Is everything alright dear?" Tirza shrugged. "I had to take a pill and I don't like to." Dumbledore put an arm around her shoulders. "Your father told me about those pills; don't you worry about it child, he would never make you take them if they would hurt you." Tirza nodded and they walked down the hall. "I was on my way to my office; would you like to come with me and say hello to Fawkes and have a bit of chocolate?" Tirza giggled. "Grandpa, you're funny. You eat more candy than me!" Dumbledore smiled at her. "Is that a yes my dear?" "Okay," Tirza decided, forgetting about alerting her father to the use of her pills. Tirza followed Dumbledore to his office and settled next to him on the sofa. "I hear you were a very sick little girl last night," he commented. Tirza nodded. "Are you feeling better today?" "Yeah, cuz I took one of fucking pills or I'd be puking my guts out," she mumbled. A slight frown came over Dumbledore's face. "Now now, that's not a very nice way to talk," he gently scolded. Tirza sighed. "Not you too!" He chuckled. "Yes, me too. It's very rude to use those kinds of words; they offend people. And I know my little sunshine; you don't like hurting people's feeling, do you?" She solemnly shook her head no. "Are you gonna tell my daddy on me?" "Not this time," he replied. "But I'd like you to try very hard to not say those words anymore." She nodded. "Are you mad at me?" Dumbledore smiled and hugged her close. "No dear, not at all. But if I hear you say such words again, I'll have to tell your father, or I'll be in trouble." Tirza looked at his twinkling eyes and giggled. "Would you really get in trouble?" Dumbledore nodded. "Your father would not be happy with me if I let you get away with that; he might even try and take my chocolate away," he teased. She giggled again. "Here, have another piece," Dumbledore said, handing her another bit of chocolate.
Tirza sat at her desk the next day, working on a fractions worksheet. "I'm done," she announced happily. She picked up the paper to hand it to Isabel. "Owy!" she yelped. A dot of blood appeared on her left index finger from a paper cut. "What happened?" Isabel asked. "Paper cute and it's bleeding," Tirza told her. Isabel went to her desk and opened the top door and dug around, finally pulling out a box of band aids. "Here sweetie." She took Tirza's hand and put on the band aid, than kissed her head. Tirza felt warm and happy for a moment, before the guilt settled back in her stomach. "I thought you could do some creative writing; make up a story or write a letter to a friend. You can write about anything you want," Isabel told her. Tirza nodded and pulled out her notebook. "Can I use my favorite pink pen?" Tirza asked. "Sure, why not?" Isabel decided. Tirza grabbed her pen and began to write. "Dear AJ..." Tirza wrote furiously about her friends and her dad and how excited she was about Christmas vacation. She wrote for nearly fifteen minutes. "I'm finished with my letter; ya wanna look?" Isabel smiled and took the letter, skimming it over. "You did a very good job. Your punctuation is excellent and almost every word is spelled right! I'm very proud of you!" Tirza's face glowed with the praise and she smiled warmly at Isabel. "You're my favorite teacher ever," she said shyly. "And you are my favorite student that I've ever taught. You are such a sweet girl and I am so proud of the progress you have been making. I know your father will be proud too when I tell him. You are a very bright girl." Before Tirza could stop herself, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around Isabel's waist, hugging her tight. Isabel happily returned the hug and kissed Tirza's forehead. Tirza felt so warm and happy with Isabel's arms around her; she didn't want it to ever end. As soon as it did, Tirza felt guiltier than ever. This time she had initiated the hug; she had clearly wanted this woman that was not her mother to hug her. "Because you have done so well today, I'm going to let you go right now, a whole hour early," Isabel decided. Tirza forced herself to smile. "Thanks Miss Whittaker. I'll see ya tomorrow!" Tirza left the classroom and headed for her favorite spot: the Astronomy tower. She needed to do some serious thinking.
Tirza was able to successfully eat supper, despite feeling so guilty, thanks to her pills. They really did help, but she still didn't like to take them. After supper, she took a large mug of hot chocolate back to their quarters and changed into her flannel candy striped nightgown. Snape gathered several papers that needed grading and sat beside the fireplace. Tirza came and sat across from him, slowly sipping her hot chocolate, thinking. Snape watched her as he graded a few pages, wondering what was going on in her mind. "You look so serious; whatever are you thinking about child?" Tirza sighed. "Stuff." She wanted to tell him, she was ready, but he looked busy. "Are you really busy daddy?" "If you want to talk, I can put these away and finish it later," Snape hurried to tell her. He hoped she was ready to tell him what was bothering her, he was very worried. She took several deep, shaky breaths. "I wanna talk to you daddy and it's very serious."
A/N: Hey everybody! Oh it feels so good to be back at the computer, LOL! I am feeling pretty good, not hurting much at all, just sore and tender. Thanks to everyone for your sweet wishes of getting better and of course, for all the reviews. Aaron will probably be typing up my chapters for the next week, this chair is not very comfy and I don't think I could sit here long enough to type it all. Thanks again to all and stay tuned (of course)!
MioneMalfoy: Hi there! I appreciate your offer of being a beta reader, but I prefer to post right away and not keep everyone waiting. I do thank you for your offer though and hope you will continue to read and enjoy the story. And the idea of a latin dictionary for spells was excellent! As soon as I am able, I am going to check one out from the library or pick one up from Barnes and Noble.
Alrick: Yes, the surgery was laproscopic, but I am still taking lots of time (2 weeks total) off of work. My job includes a lot of stretching and lifting and I am scared to tear the incisions back open. It was all a very painful experience, but after the surgery wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. All in all, I'm pretty comfortable as long as I don't do stairs or stretch around. My honey has been taking such good care of me, and my mother too, I feel very spoiled, LOL! Thanks for the ideas of school pranks, etc. Tirza won't be too unruly, but she is Tirza after all!
Star: I am recovering nicely and being spoiled rotten by my honey and my mother! I have been so bored, even with cable TV, so I have had lots of time to write in notebooks.
Kenomee: The attack was horrible, I could have sworn I was having heart attack, thank goodness it wasn't! I was really scared when I went into the surgery though. They let my honey stay with me until they actually brought me into the operating room and I insisted in holding my Molly (yes, there is a real Molly the lion who is about 15 years old, LOL!) until I went in and they let me! Hope you're son is feeling better! And thank you for your suggestion about 'ladylike'. We all know that Tirza is so not ladylike, so perhaps she will change her argument to more about rudeness and offensiveness as that is more fitting. Snape is trying to take things in stride and doing a pretty decent job. He'll be a great help to Tirza in the long run and fix a lot of things that need fixing. Thanks for the comment about my other story, which is on hold. This story occupies most of my free writing time.
Potter-Snape: I couldn't let everyone miss the story for so long! Thankfully my honey gave into my bugging him and has kindly been typing chapters for me. I have been pampered almost to death and have gotten allergies from so many flowers in my house, LOL! Glad your dad bounced back well, I seem to be doing the same. And don't worry, Tirza will be okay. I am sure that Sev can find a potion to help her!
Padfoot1979: Hope you've enjoyed the chapters, via my honey! I've been resting a lot and feel pretty good. Thanks for the get well wishes!
Jetsog-Ger: Thanks for the get well wishes! I'm glad you like the story and hope you enjoy this chapter as well, via my honey typing!
Carmie: Thanks for the get well wishes!
Wytil: I hope you have recovered well from your heart attack. I was scared I was having one, even if I am only 19, because heart problems do run in my family. Thanks for the wishes!
CraJure: Thanks sweetie! Hope you've been enjoying the chapters! I've been writing like crazy to keep from dying of boredom. As soon as I am allowed more time by my honey to be online, I will read your story and review! I wish you lots of luck with it!
LostSoul: Thanks for telling me how to spell owlery; I was not going to search through the books to find it, LOL! And I won't hurt you for calling me Kerry Berry Pie; I don't mind it as much now as I did when I was little. My honey started calling me that too after he heard my grandmother say it! Thanks for the get well wishes! And Isabel is a very kind, understanding lady and she and Tirza will grow to be very close. And you didn't mess anything up by calling me Kerry Berry Pie, so don't be sad! Thanks for the ideas! The soap stuff will come into play more as Tirza works on her language. And you certainly didn't freak Aaron out with that comment, he was very flattered! Tirza definitely needs a mother and perhaps Isabel can fill that role, but what if she and Sev don't get together or stay together? Perhaps McGonagall?
Slone: I am getting much better, thanks for the wishes! I hope you enjoyed the howler!
AngelsCreation: Thanks for your concern! I am doing pretty well. Hope you enjoy the chapter!
Luinthoron: I agree that Isabel/Snape should not be rushed. It will be slow and Tirza will need to get over her guilt of liking Isabel and betraying her mom before anything can even start to develop. The title of the story, I don't know if it is really fitting, but it was suggested long ago when I started and my goal was a unique story and I hope it has been!
GrintsGirl: The howler was good wasn't it? LOL! It was fun to write!
Gwyn: Glad you love the story! Thanks for the get well wishes!
MissLKid: I am feeling better, thanks for the wishes! Hope you enjoy the story!
Aislinn: Don't worry, Tirza will be okay! Snape will help her through this; they are so good for each other. Hope you like the chapter!
And now I am ordered away from the computer and will be physically picked up and put into bed if I do not comply, LOL! And he'd serious too! So love to everyone and check back soon! Love and Hugs, Kerry
An hour later, Severus sat in an armchair that he pulled next to the couch, watching Tirza sleep. A knock on the door drew his attention away from the sleeping child and he got up to open the door. "I hope I'm not disturbing you; I was wondering how Tirza is doing," Isabel said quietly. Severus nodded. "You're not disturbing at all; please come in, she's asleep." He closed the door behind her as she entered and sat in the other armchair near the fireplace. Snape pulled the armchair away from the couch, back to its original spot by the fireplace, so that he and Isabel could talk without disturbing Tirza. "What did Madame Pompfrey have to say?" Isabel asked. Snape sighed. "There is nothing wrong with her physically that Poppy can find; I suspected the flu, but all tests came back negative." "You said physically; does she think that there might be something else wrong?" Isabel wondered. "Tirza is a very sensitive child; her emotions seem to be directly tied to her physical well being. Whenever she is upset about something, she becomes sick; the more upset she is, the more violently sick she becomes," Severus told her. "What could cause her to become so sick?" "I really don't have any idea, yet. Poppy gave her things to calm the nausea and it put her to sleep. I will find out as soon as she wakes; I know that she has some sort of muggle medicine for such episodes, but do not know why she doesn't use them," he commented. Isabel nodded. "Perhaps I could speak with her? If there is something bothering her so much in the mental sense that it is causing physical disturbances, I think it would be wise." "I agree with you, but I know my daughter. She'd have to reveal certain intimate secrets and she'd have trouble being around you after telling you her secrets. I think it would very much interfere with you teaching her," Snape said, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "I have already spoken to Dumbledore about arranging for a woman wizard psychiatrist to come and speak with Tirza." He could see the visible relief on Isabel's face. "Will she be alright?" Snape nodded. "It always passes as soon as she decides to deal with the problem or at least speak of it with me. But it returns as soon as something else bothers her. She's very complicated and I worry about her." "I've noticed that she gets very upset whenever I've asked her about her mother," Isabel noted. Snape's eyebrow rose. "No wonder she got sick; she was looking at her mother's picture earlier and having her mentioned... I know there is more between Tirza and her mother than she will tell me. She prefers not to think of her mother very often." "I am so sorry," Isabel gushed. "I wish I had known, I never would have brought it up and caused this." Snape waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "There was no way for you to have known, do not worry over it. As I said before, she is very sensitive and nearly everything affects her in some way. She also has a habit of taking things out of context and thinking very badly of herself."
"Speaking of thinking badly about herself, she told me earlier that she was stupid. I tried to tell her she wasn't, but she didn't believe me. I have a feeling that someone close to her has told her she's stupid, possibly told her other things as well. I inquired whether or not it was you and she very heatedly denied that idea, saying you would never say something like that to her," Isabel mentioned. Snape sighed. "Yes, she does not have a very high opinion of herself; that, among other things, are hopefully things she will allow me to help her work on." Isabel looked intently into his eye for a moment. "You're very dedicated to her aren't you?" He nodded and cast a glance at Tirza. "Yes. Before she came, there was just myself, nothing I really cared much about. Than she came and all that changed; many things have changed." It surprised him that he had said that and a slight blush crept up his face; it was still hard for him to speak of his feelings with anyone but Tirza, who needed the constant reassurance of his affections. "She's a very special child; though I have not known her for long, I have found myself very attached," Isabel told him quietly. Both looked over at Tirza, curled up in a quilt, hugging Molly, breathing softly. Snape smiled rather shyly. "She is quite bewitching. Despite being a teacher, I've never had much tolerance for children and didn't know if I'd be able to stand her. I quickly discovered that I wanted to tolerate her. We've had our rough spots, I assure you, but she tries." "I've noticed that she has quite a temper and rumor has it that she can attribute that to you," Isabel lightly commented. "Unfortunately yes; her mother was soft spoken and sensitive, both qualities that I lacked than and still do now," he admitted, not looking at Isabel. "A temper is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you exercise control and caution. I inherited mine from my mother, a full blooded Irish woman. One of the kindest, most generous women you'll ever meet, but when she gets riled up, it's a force to be reckoned with," Isabel said, a smile on her face and a quiet laugh. Snape chuckled softly. He started to reply, but a stirring from the couch caught their attention. Snape was instantly at Tirza's side.
"Mommy?" she called softly. Severus stroked her hair. "Hush baby, daddy's here." Tirza shook her head, her eyes closed. "Where's mommy?" "She's not here," he told her softly. "I saw her daddy, she was here. She came to me when I was sick," she told him indignantly. Severus kissed her forehead. "Darling, your mother..." His voice cracked as he continued. "She passed away remember?" "I know daddy, but I saw her!" She sat up and looked wildly around the room. "MOMMY!" she screamed. Her eyes landed on Isabel, who still sat in the chair beside the fire. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. "It was you," she whispered. "It wasn't mommy, it was you." Isabel nodded, not sure what to say. "I did it again," she whispered. Snape sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. "What did you do?" he asked gently. She didn't say anything, but she stopped looking at Isabel and shifted her gaze to her hands as a stray tear slipped down her face. "I have a lot of work to do so I'd best leave. I hope you are feeling okay Tirza," Isabel said tentatively. Snape nodded and Tirza said nothing, still staring at her hands. Isabel quietly let herself out of the dungeon chambers. "Honey, what is making you so upset?" Tirza shook her head. "Don't wanna talk about it." She buried her head against his chest and cuddled close. Snape held her and rocked her gently. "You have to tell me. You know you'll get sick again if you don't." "Don't make me tell yet daddy, I'm not ready," she pleaded. "Baby, why don't you take your pills? You have only been taking them for the really bad nightmares and you said they are for all of your panic attacks," Severus inquired, still rocking her in his arms. "I'm afraid to take them all the time." "Why?" Tirza took a deep, shaky breath. "If I take pills all the time, than I'll get to like them too much like..." She suddenly stopped. "Baby, who liked pills too much?" She remained silent, taking deep breaths. "You have to tell me," Snape told her, his tone firm, but kind. "Mommy," she whispered. "The doctor gived her pills for the chemo stuff that made her sick and the pills made her better, so she used them a lot and she couldn't stop and the doctor had to take them away and she had to be in the hospital for a whole week and I couldn't see her and she said it was really hard and made her cry and hurt and I don't wanna hurt more than I do and I don't wanna be at the hospital a whole week without you, cuz I'd be really scared cuz you protect me," she told him, quickly spilling the whole story. Snape silently cursed Ariel. He could understand her getting hooked on something for her cancer, but why did she tell Tirza about what she suffered when she was taken off and had with drawls? Tirza was a child; she didn't need to know such things!
"Darling, I understand that you don't want to like the pills too much, but look what happens when you don't take them. What if Isabel hadn't gone to look for you in the lavatory? You could have passed out and been sick in there for a long time," Snape pointed out. Tirza sniffled. "I won't take them and you can't make me! Even if you spank me every day for ever and ever I won't take them!" She shouted. Snape knew if was a true fear and tried to think of a way to ease her fears. "What if I could make you a potion that was just like the pills, but made it impossible for you to like them too much? Would you take that potion like a good girl?" Tirza nodded. "And would you tell me right away when you need it so you don't get sick?" She nodded again. "You're so smart daddy, not like me. I always do stupid things." Severus looked at her sternly. "How many times have I told you not to say that young lady, hmm?" Tirza ducked her head. "Millions?" she piped up. "It certainly feels like it's been that many times, so why do you keep saying it?" "It's true," she whispered. He looked her straight in the eye. "NO IT IS NOT," he told her loudly. She scowled. "Don't lie daddy; you tell me not too." "It is not a lie young lady, it is the truth. You are not stupid or dumb or mental or any of the other things I've heard you say about yourself. It's just not true and it hurts me to know you feel that way." She looked up at him. "See, I'm stupid; I hurt your feelings and I didn't even know." Snape sighed. "You are the most kind, loving, beautiful, caring, sweet, thoughtful, cute, adorable, wonderful, radiant like sunshine, fun, funny, smart, terrific, fantastic daughter that has ever lived." She eyed him suspiciously. "Am I really all of those words daddy?" He nodded. "You are indeed and I know a lot of people who think so too. You are too hard on yourself and I don't want to hear you say bad things about yourself anymore, or else. Understood?" She gave him an intense look. "What ya gonna do if I do say it?" Snape looked at her with his most serious face. "I'll wash your mouth out with soap." Her eyes widened. "Daddy, I'm allergic to your soap, remember?" "I also know that you have your own soap that you are not allergic too," he pointed out. "I'll also wash your mouth out if I hear anymore swear words directed at people. I'll give you a little leeway while you try to break the habit, but I am serious. And there's something else I wanted to tell you. Baby, I think you need to talk to someone about feeling stupid and the other things as well."
Tirza's face instantly became dark. "I don't wanna!" "I understand what happened the last time you went, but this will be different, I promise. This lady is just going to listen to you and try to help you, like a doctor," Snape tried to explain. "Pwease don't make me daddy, pwease?" He sighed. "Baby, I'd never let anything bad happen to you and I know this lady could help. Can't you please try?" She shook her head no. "I'll make you a deal; if you meet this lady and talk to her once and don't like her, I'll send her away. But if you do like her and she can help you, you'll continue to talk to her. Can you do that for me?" Tirza scrunched her face up in thought. "Only for you daddy, cuz I love you and I trust you. I know you wouldn't let anything bad happen, right?" He nodded. "Than I guess I'll try. Can you come with me?" Her dark eyes pleaded with him. "If it will make you feel better, than yes, I will. How are you feeling right now? Any nausea?" Snape asked. Tirza sighed. "No, I feel okay now.' He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'm glad. Do you feel ready to talk yet?" "No and don't push me, okay. I promise I'll come and tell you when I feel ready, okay?" Tirza asked, a bit annoyed at his persistence. "Alright, I won't push you," Snape relented. "But I do want you to get ready for bed." Tirza groaned, a frown creeping up on her face. "Do I have to?" Snape nodded. "This is your last night of early bedtime though, so do not fight me or I'll make it longer." Tirza rolled her eyes and slid off his lap. "Okay okay, I'll go get ready." She walked to her room and Snape watched her go. He sighed, feeling worried and tired from her sickness earlier; he also felt relief that Isabel was turning out to be someone who could handle Tirza and love her and that Tirza liked her as well. Snape was glad that they got along for the most part and that Isabel was not some idiot that annoyed him; in fact she was the opposite and he had enjoyed talking with her earlier and would not be opposed to speaking with her again like that. Tirza bounced onto his lap, bringing his attention away from thoughts of the pleasant tutor and back into the present moment. "Can I have a bed time story daddy?" Severus smiled and stood up. "Alright, but just one." Tirza giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him several kisses as he carried her to her bedroom.
Tirza stood outside her classroom and scowled at Snape and stomped. "I'm not gonna take those pills with me to school!" Snape's face had a scowl that matched hers. "Oh yes you are." "The hell I am!" Tirza realized her mistake and slapped her hands over her mouth. "Alright young lady, here are the rules. You get two warnings for swearing; the third time I hear it, you're getting your mouth washed out, understood?" She nodded. "Sorry daddy." "Now put these in your pocket." Snape held out the bottle of pills. "NO NO NO NO NO!" She stomped several times for extra effect. "Take the pills, Tirza." Snape's voice was low and angry. "NO!" Tirza growled. "This is your last warning young lady!" Snape shouted. Tirza reached out and slapped the bottle from his outstretched hand. Snape could not believe her attitude and it took him almost a minute to react. "You pick that up right now or you are going to be in trouble!" he ordered. "NO WAY!" She screamed. Snape understood that she didn't want the pills, but they had talked about this before. "You have five seconds to pick up that bottle. One... two... three..." Tirza stood there defiantly, her hands on her hips, making no move towards the fallen bottle. "Five!" Snape reached out and caught her arm, pulling her towards him, heading for an empty classroom. "You are getting a spanking young lady; I am not going to put up with your tantrums." Tirza started to cry. "I'm scared daddy! Don't spank me! And you promised me a potion!" Snape stopped in his tracks; she was right. She wasn't trying to be naughty, she was just very afraid. Snape stopped and set her on the floor in front of him. "I will make you a potion, but it will take me a few days. You need to have the pills in case you get sick; I promise that a few days won't make you like them too much." She wiped her eyes and studied his face. "You promise?" He nodded. "Okay, I'll take them with me, but I'm not happy." Snape hugged her and kissed her head, than handed her the pills. "Now you go in before we are both late and if you have to take a pill, come and tell me alright?" She nodded and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. "Okay daddy. Will you come get me for lunch?" "Yes I will baby, now you be good, alright?" She nodded and he watched as she entered the classroom; he shook his head as he turned and walked down the hallway. Isabel turned from the blackboard to look at the door as she heard it open; she smiled brightly at Tirza. "Hi honey; are you feeling better today?" Despite herself, Tirza smiled back. "Yeah, I'm doing okay." "Your dad told me last night that you get sick when things are bothering you; I just want to let you know that if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I would be very happy to listen and help in anyway I can." Tirza nodded; it was no wonder that she liked this lady and her affection. She shouldn't like it though, and that was the problem. "Thank you," she whispered. Isabel motioned for Tirza to sit beside her and the little girl sat across from her, not wanting to be too close. "You can sit by me Tirza," Isabel told her. "I want to sit over here," Tirza whispered. "Can I come sit by you?" Isabel wondered. Tirza shrugged her shoulders. "If you want to, I guess so." Isabel crossed the room to sit beside her, bringing their partially finished baskets from yesterday. "I thought we'd finish these and than paint them while we watch some School House Rock." Tirza just nodded and looked away when Isabel smiled at her. "I remember that I call you mommy yesterday!" Tirza blurted out. "Yes, I remember that too," Isabel replied. "But I didn't mean it because you aren't my mommy and I don't want you to be because I already had one and she was a good mommy and I don't need you to be my mommy, okay?" "I understand sweetie; you were sick and it made you confused. I didn't take that to mean that you wanted me as your mother," Isabel stated. "Good," Tirza decided. Isabel looked at her closely. "Are you sure you're okay?" Tirza nodded and turned her attention to the School House Rock and her basket. As the school day wore on, Isabel grew concerned. Tirza hardly talked at all, except when spoken too, and was not interested in playing games with Isabel at recess or break. The last thing they did was start to paint the baskets. Tirza reached for the green paint and managed to get a large glob of it on her hand. "Here I'll help you," Isabel took Tirza's little hand, but Tirza pulled it away. "Don't touch me!" she shouted. "You're acting strange today Tirza; is there something wrong?" "I just don't like to be touched so don't ever touch me!" Tirza screamed. She started to shake and reached into her pocket, pulling out her bottle of pills. "I need to take my medicine, I'll be back," Tirza told Isabel, her voice dark. "School is over in ten minutes, you can just go for the day if you wish," Isabel said gently. "Fine," Tirza stated. She took her bottle of pills and ran from the room.
Tirza ran down the hallway and turned a corner, nearly running right into Dumbledore. "Where are you going so fast?" "Hi grandpa," she mumbled. "Where's my little sunshine? Is everything alright dear?" Tirza shrugged. "I had to take a pill and I don't like to." Dumbledore put an arm around her shoulders. "Your father told me about those pills; don't you worry about it child, he would never make you take them if they would hurt you." Tirza nodded and they walked down the hall. "I was on my way to my office; would you like to come with me and say hello to Fawkes and have a bit of chocolate?" Tirza giggled. "Grandpa, you're funny. You eat more candy than me!" Dumbledore smiled at her. "Is that a yes my dear?" "Okay," Tirza decided, forgetting about alerting her father to the use of her pills. Tirza followed Dumbledore to his office and settled next to him on the sofa. "I hear you were a very sick little girl last night," he commented. Tirza nodded. "Are you feeling better today?" "Yeah, cuz I took one of fucking pills or I'd be puking my guts out," she mumbled. A slight frown came over Dumbledore's face. "Now now, that's not a very nice way to talk," he gently scolded. Tirza sighed. "Not you too!" He chuckled. "Yes, me too. It's very rude to use those kinds of words; they offend people. And I know my little sunshine; you don't like hurting people's feeling, do you?" She solemnly shook her head no. "Are you gonna tell my daddy on me?" "Not this time," he replied. "But I'd like you to try very hard to not say those words anymore." She nodded. "Are you mad at me?" Dumbledore smiled and hugged her close. "No dear, not at all. But if I hear you say such words again, I'll have to tell your father, or I'll be in trouble." Tirza looked at his twinkling eyes and giggled. "Would you really get in trouble?" Dumbledore nodded. "Your father would not be happy with me if I let you get away with that; he might even try and take my chocolate away," he teased. She giggled again. "Here, have another piece," Dumbledore said, handing her another bit of chocolate.
Tirza sat at her desk the next day, working on a fractions worksheet. "I'm done," she announced happily. She picked up the paper to hand it to Isabel. "Owy!" she yelped. A dot of blood appeared on her left index finger from a paper cut. "What happened?" Isabel asked. "Paper cute and it's bleeding," Tirza told her. Isabel went to her desk and opened the top door and dug around, finally pulling out a box of band aids. "Here sweetie." She took Tirza's hand and put on the band aid, than kissed her head. Tirza felt warm and happy for a moment, before the guilt settled back in her stomach. "I thought you could do some creative writing; make up a story or write a letter to a friend. You can write about anything you want," Isabel told her. Tirza nodded and pulled out her notebook. "Can I use my favorite pink pen?" Tirza asked. "Sure, why not?" Isabel decided. Tirza grabbed her pen and began to write. "Dear AJ..." Tirza wrote furiously about her friends and her dad and how excited she was about Christmas vacation. She wrote for nearly fifteen minutes. "I'm finished with my letter; ya wanna look?" Isabel smiled and took the letter, skimming it over. "You did a very good job. Your punctuation is excellent and almost every word is spelled right! I'm very proud of you!" Tirza's face glowed with the praise and she smiled warmly at Isabel. "You're my favorite teacher ever," she said shyly. "And you are my favorite student that I've ever taught. You are such a sweet girl and I am so proud of the progress you have been making. I know your father will be proud too when I tell him. You are a very bright girl." Before Tirza could stop herself, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around Isabel's waist, hugging her tight. Isabel happily returned the hug and kissed Tirza's forehead. Tirza felt so warm and happy with Isabel's arms around her; she didn't want it to ever end. As soon as it did, Tirza felt guiltier than ever. This time she had initiated the hug; she had clearly wanted this woman that was not her mother to hug her. "Because you have done so well today, I'm going to let you go right now, a whole hour early," Isabel decided. Tirza forced herself to smile. "Thanks Miss Whittaker. I'll see ya tomorrow!" Tirza left the classroom and headed for her favorite spot: the Astronomy tower. She needed to do some serious thinking.
Tirza was able to successfully eat supper, despite feeling so guilty, thanks to her pills. They really did help, but she still didn't like to take them. After supper, she took a large mug of hot chocolate back to their quarters and changed into her flannel candy striped nightgown. Snape gathered several papers that needed grading and sat beside the fireplace. Tirza came and sat across from him, slowly sipping her hot chocolate, thinking. Snape watched her as he graded a few pages, wondering what was going on in her mind. "You look so serious; whatever are you thinking about child?" Tirza sighed. "Stuff." She wanted to tell him, she was ready, but he looked busy. "Are you really busy daddy?" "If you want to talk, I can put these away and finish it later," Snape hurried to tell her. He hoped she was ready to tell him what was bothering her, he was very worried. She took several deep, shaky breaths. "I wanna talk to you daddy and it's very serious."
A/N: Hey everybody! Oh it feels so good to be back at the computer, LOL! I am feeling pretty good, not hurting much at all, just sore and tender. Thanks to everyone for your sweet wishes of getting better and of course, for all the reviews. Aaron will probably be typing up my chapters for the next week, this chair is not very comfy and I don't think I could sit here long enough to type it all. Thanks again to all and stay tuned (of course)!
MioneMalfoy: Hi there! I appreciate your offer of being a beta reader, but I prefer to post right away and not keep everyone waiting. I do thank you for your offer though and hope you will continue to read and enjoy the story. And the idea of a latin dictionary for spells was excellent! As soon as I am able, I am going to check one out from the library or pick one up from Barnes and Noble.
Alrick: Yes, the surgery was laproscopic, but I am still taking lots of time (2 weeks total) off of work. My job includes a lot of stretching and lifting and I am scared to tear the incisions back open. It was all a very painful experience, but after the surgery wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. All in all, I'm pretty comfortable as long as I don't do stairs or stretch around. My honey has been taking such good care of me, and my mother too, I feel very spoiled, LOL! Thanks for the ideas of school pranks, etc. Tirza won't be too unruly, but she is Tirza after all!
Star: I am recovering nicely and being spoiled rotten by my honey and my mother! I have been so bored, even with cable TV, so I have had lots of time to write in notebooks.
Kenomee: The attack was horrible, I could have sworn I was having heart attack, thank goodness it wasn't! I was really scared when I went into the surgery though. They let my honey stay with me until they actually brought me into the operating room and I insisted in holding my Molly (yes, there is a real Molly the lion who is about 15 years old, LOL!) until I went in and they let me! Hope you're son is feeling better! And thank you for your suggestion about 'ladylike'. We all know that Tirza is so not ladylike, so perhaps she will change her argument to more about rudeness and offensiveness as that is more fitting. Snape is trying to take things in stride and doing a pretty decent job. He'll be a great help to Tirza in the long run and fix a lot of things that need fixing. Thanks for the comment about my other story, which is on hold. This story occupies most of my free writing time.
Potter-Snape: I couldn't let everyone miss the story for so long! Thankfully my honey gave into my bugging him and has kindly been typing chapters for me. I have been pampered almost to death and have gotten allergies from so many flowers in my house, LOL! Glad your dad bounced back well, I seem to be doing the same. And don't worry, Tirza will be okay. I am sure that Sev can find a potion to help her!
Padfoot1979: Hope you've enjoyed the chapters, via my honey! I've been resting a lot and feel pretty good. Thanks for the get well wishes!
Jetsog-Ger: Thanks for the get well wishes! I'm glad you like the story and hope you enjoy this chapter as well, via my honey typing!
Carmie: Thanks for the get well wishes!
Wytil: I hope you have recovered well from your heart attack. I was scared I was having one, even if I am only 19, because heart problems do run in my family. Thanks for the wishes!
CraJure: Thanks sweetie! Hope you've been enjoying the chapters! I've been writing like crazy to keep from dying of boredom. As soon as I am allowed more time by my honey to be online, I will read your story and review! I wish you lots of luck with it!
LostSoul: Thanks for telling me how to spell owlery; I was not going to search through the books to find it, LOL! And I won't hurt you for calling me Kerry Berry Pie; I don't mind it as much now as I did when I was little. My honey started calling me that too after he heard my grandmother say it! Thanks for the get well wishes! And Isabel is a very kind, understanding lady and she and Tirza will grow to be very close. And you didn't mess anything up by calling me Kerry Berry Pie, so don't be sad! Thanks for the ideas! The soap stuff will come into play more as Tirza works on her language. And you certainly didn't freak Aaron out with that comment, he was very flattered! Tirza definitely needs a mother and perhaps Isabel can fill that role, but what if she and Sev don't get together or stay together? Perhaps McGonagall?
Slone: I am getting much better, thanks for the wishes! I hope you enjoyed the howler!
AngelsCreation: Thanks for your concern! I am doing pretty well. Hope you enjoy the chapter!
Luinthoron: I agree that Isabel/Snape should not be rushed. It will be slow and Tirza will need to get over her guilt of liking Isabel and betraying her mom before anything can even start to develop. The title of the story, I don't know if it is really fitting, but it was suggested long ago when I started and my goal was a unique story and I hope it has been!
GrintsGirl: The howler was good wasn't it? LOL! It was fun to write!
Gwyn: Glad you love the story! Thanks for the get well wishes!
MissLKid: I am feeling better, thanks for the wishes! Hope you enjoy the story!
Aislinn: Don't worry, Tirza will be okay! Snape will help her through this; they are so good for each other. Hope you like the chapter!
And now I am ordered away from the computer and will be physically picked up and put into bed if I do not comply, LOL! And he'd serious too! So love to everyone and check back soon! Love and Hugs, Kerry
