Frodo is shoved into Striders room by the man, who looks over his shoulder.
Strider: Well, if you'll just wait in here, Master Baggins, I won't keep you waiting long
Frodo: [scared] Uh, thanks very much.
Strider walks out to investigate who was watching him; the mirror behind Frodo falls off the wall without warning and smashes to the ground. Strider returns, and looks at Frodo enquiringly.)
Frodo: The mirror fell off the wall.
Strider: What?
Frodo: The mirror fell off... off the wall... it fell.
Strider: [disbelieving but polite] I see. You'd better wait here. I'll get a cloth.
Strider just closes the door behind him and the bookcase detaches itself from the wall and comes sweeping down, bringing with it the drinks trolley. Strider opens the door.
Frodo: Ah, it ... it came off the wall.
Strider: Yes, really?
Frodo: It just came right off the wall.
Strider: Well now...
Frodo: Yes, I ... I didn't touch it.
Strider: [politely ironic] Of course not. It just fell off the wall.
Frodo: Yes. It just fell off the wall.
Strider: Don't move. I'll get help.
He goes.
Frodo: [To himself of course] Yes - er, fell off the wall.
The hobbit Nob enters.
Nob: Oh sweet Eru, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?
Frodo: No, no. I didn't do all this. It... it did it all.
Nob: Oh? Well... 'ere, hold this. I'll get started.
Nob hands him a dagger.
Frodo: Oh, it's jolly nice. What is it?
Nob: It's a Numénorean dagger. Ooops.
Nob trips, falls lethally on to the dagger Frodo is holding. Nob collapses at his feet. There is blood on the dagger and Frodo's hand. He is looking down at Nob, when he becomes aware of the Bartender at the door, who is looking at him in horror.
Frodo: Er, he just fell on ... on to the dagger.
Barliman: (soothingly) Yes, of course he did, sir.
Frodo: Yes, just gave me the dagger and tripped, and went, 'Oops'.
Barliman starts backing round the room away from him, his face growing impatient.
Barliman: I don't know, bloody hobbits, killing other hobbits. Nob was one of my best workers you know? I should have you arrested!
Frodo: I mean, I didn't er...
Barliman: Oh no, no, of course not, sir, I understand.
Frodo: I mean he ... he just, er...
Barliman: [Angrily] Fell?
Frodo: Fell.
Barliman: [Starts to head for the window to call the officials and falls backwards through the window] Arrghh!
Frodo: [to window] I'm terribly sorry.
A Shirrif and Strider appear at the door.
Strider: That's him.
Shirrif: Right, sir.
Frodo: Hello, officer. There seems to have been an accident. Well, several accidents actually.
Shirrif: That's right, sir. Would you come this way, please. [goes towards him] Ahh! [clutches chest] It's me ... me heart, sir. [collapses]
Strider: You should be more careful of that trinket you carry, Baggins, it brings more trouble than you could expect.
Frodo: [Looks around at the bodies lying around him, grimaces] Who… who are you?
Strider: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Yes.
Strider: Good, I love scaring people. [Breaks out into a friendly grin] Some call me strider, I am here to help. Gandalf sent a message telling you of my arrival.
Sam, merry and Pippin storm through the door, carrying various items and brandishing them ferociously. A candle, a cold trout, and a pair of Marigolds.
Sam: Back off Longshanks! Or I'll av you!
Strider falls to the floor, racked with laughter, clutching his stomach. Frodo immediately thinks that something's gone wrong again, and starts screaming at Sam to call in a doctor. Barliman walks in again, after a nasty bump on the head, and points at Frodo
Barliman: You!
Strider comes out of his fit and runs in front of Frodo, shielding him. Barliman looks at Strider.
Barliman: Now now, ranger, this is no matter for you, kindly remove yourself from that hobbit, I have a mind to take him for punishment.
Strider: If by my life or death I can keep this hobbit, I will.
Barliman: [shouts] ENOUGH! I've had it with you lot! Get out of my pub! NOW!
The hobbits and strider run shrieking from the pub, only to be intercepted by four cloaked riders…
