A/N: Here it is, the second chapter of "Cherry Blossoms"! I hope you've enjoyed the series so far. Please excuse some crude language. This chapter is good, I think "MASK", the Sorcerer Hunters (Bakuretsu Hunters) ending theme by Okui Masami and Matsumura Kasumi is the perfect song for Yohji-- upbeat, sexy, and mysterious. Please enjoy.. and please review! C&Cs are welcome.
Note: Some SPOILERS in this chapter.
~Chapter Two: Me no Zaiakukan
~Eyes of Guilt
~Reflections of Kudou Yohji
~"--Mystery-- Platinum moonlight reflects a devilishness. Lips that curl into a faint smile are dyed vividly..."~
The day has begun with it's usual beautiful simplicity. The sun shines through my thin curtains like... well, like sun through thin curtains. It gives the room a warm glow, making this impersonal space look like it has been lived in by more than a two-bit glorified whore. I want to lie here forever and enjoy this glow; to just exist in my small world that exists somewhere between waking and sleeping. I don't want to have to go out and face the day; that would mean facing the world, and I'm not ready to do that yet.
I get up slowly, knowing I'll have to eventually anyway, and open the rose curtains that Omi had picked out, looking out of a window that revealed to me the whole world. The sky was pink and lavender, laced with pale oranges and pastels. It looked like a painting waiting to happen. I hoped someone was getting this on an easel, somewhere in the world. I stare out the windows, letting the soft early-morning wind flutter the dark-pink curtains against my back. I really hate that color. Omi said it softened the look of my room and made it more classy, but I think they're just hideous. I'd never say that to his face, of course, though. He'd give me puppy-eyes until I apologized. That kid can make me do anything. It's almost frightening.
Sighing, I look back out the window. I hope the sun takes it's sweet time in rising today.
~"Keep looking forward and don't turn away. With that look in your eyes, the seal can be broken."~
Without noticing, my thoughts drift to other topics than the sunrise. I wonder how early Aya will open the shop today. I wonder if Omi is going to school today, even though he was up late last night researching for our latest mission. I think I should probably be nice and wake him up so that he won't be late, but I know that I won't. The kid deserves a rest. He's had enough Hell for a few millenniums. I, for my part, spent the night in a white bliss with a woman I didn't know until last night and will never know again. I didn't even know her name. She told me to call her Angel, and I did. But I remember that she used to like it when I called her Angel, too. She thought it was so funny, Asuka did, to call her Angel when she said she was more like a devil. I told her she was just a slightly fallen angel, and that I'd help her get back to Heaven if she wanted me to. She shook her head, laughed, and warned me to stop flirting with her before she hurt me. That thought kind of makes me smile, in a sad way. I miss the banter that we used to have. But in a way, it's alright... because I think I'm getting over it. The others have brought me a long way with that. Omi, Ken, and Aya. They've made me feel things that, for a long time, I thought I wouldn't ever feel again, not after Asuka died. They, especially Omi, made me feel like I was wanted, included. Made me feel like part of the team. That did a lot for me.
~"Shy Venus, throw away your mask. I want to show your true, tenderly cruel self, a secret that I give just to you. I want to kiss you, surrender to your heart. Like a beast with no place to run to, inside of love's labyrinth until your breath dies out."~
I remember back when I first came to WeiB. I was the second. Omi was the first. I was really messed up back then; drinking so much I thought I'd drown in it, smoking almost a pack a day. But Omi put his foot down, let me know that he wouldn't tolerate such self-destructive behavior from me. He told me that I was needed for WeiB, and that if I didn't stop doing such bad things to myself, that he would make me. I believed him. That kid has a slow temper, but you don't want to ignite that rage, or you'll definately get burned. He helped me turn around. Not completely, because no one can completely turn around, but he helped me get my life back on track. Back the way it used to be. He reminded, still reminds, me of Asuka. It's difficult to get away from that comparison. It's difficult to not want to be there to protect him, to make sure that what happened to Asuka never happens to him. Then, after Ken showed up, the three of us really became close. That was back before Koneko no Sumu or any of that, back when WeiB operated from a one-bedroom apartment on the west side of town. With no one else to turn to, we turned to each other. We became our own family. When one of us was having problems, the other two knew it. It's been like that ever since. That's why, even at that time when we weren't sure Aya was going to come back to WeiB, we were able to function. Because we were the first of WeiB, and we knew that, with or without Aya, we could still function. Sure, it'd be sad if he left, but we could pick up the pieces and begin again. I'm glad he came back, but we still would've existed even if he hadn't. I don't know how many times I might've given up, and just ended it all, if I didn't have Ken and Omi there with me. They're the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I'm not gonna ask for more.
~"--Sadistic-- I'll let you dance inside of passion's whip. The threads are completely strained, like someone's pulling them..."~
I don't even know if I really loved Asuka. I don't.. I don't think I loved her, like that. I don't think I loved her romantically. She was my best friend, though. She was my family, even after my blood relatives had all died or dropped off the face of the earth. Despite everything, she was always there with me... I guess I felt.. feel.. like her death took a part of me with her. It took me months to get back on track after that. Months, and a supportive friend, and a new life. Asuka was always telling me I didn't have enough friends. I told her, sure I did. She laughed and asked if I meant those one-night-stands. I didn't reply.
I know, I'm just some glorified whore. I bed 'em and leave 'em. I know they all think that of me. But they don't say anything, I guess because they'd rather I do that than drink myself to death. I guess that's my stress relief. Sex and cigarettes. Go figure. Ken has soccer, Aya has his katas, and I have my sex and cigarettes. I dunno what Omi does. I should ask him sometime. It can't be good to bottle up all that stress like he does.
I guess I'm just strange. I wonder if any of the others are as messed up as I am. Probably. I know Omi at least is. If not more messed up than me. He's been through Hell in a handbasket. He's been through more than I'll ever probably go through. So yeah, he's more messed up than I am. I dunno about Aya and Ken. I don't think Ken is. Hell, he's the most normal out of us. The only one with a really "normal" life outside of killing. Ah, what the hell. We're all crazy.
~"With your broken voice, cry 'I love you'. The never-fading proof is carved into my heart."~
For a long time, I blamed only myself for what happened to Asuka. Now, I know that it wasn't my fault. Sometimes I still feel like it was.. but now, in my heart, I know that it wasn't. I'll always remember her, and I'll always regret that I didn't spend more time with her, and get to know her more than I did, but I won't ache over it every day like I used to. Asuka is gone, and she isn't coming back. End of story. The pain probably won't ever completely be gone, but it's bearable.
Even after WeiB is over, and we all go back to living regular lives, I know that I'll always smile on the memories of this time. Back to the memories of my friends. I'd like to think that I would stay in touch with them, but I probably wouldn't. That's something I can see Omi doing, trying to keep in touch with everyone, but I wouldn't do it. Let them be in peace, and forget about the horrors of WeiB and hunting the dark beasts. Let them forget about me when all this is over. Let them forget about Yohji, the psychotic strangler. Let them forget... everything.
~"Sly Venus, throw away your mask, showing your true, tenderly cruel self in one instant of carnival where no one knows you. I want to hold you, surrender in my heart. Like a beast drowned in love, feeling like you're dreaming until your breath dies out."~
The sun is getting high in the sky now. Soft blues are starting to overtake the pastels that have colored the sky. Soon, it will be time to dress, and go down, and start living another day. It's a sad life to live... living only to wait until you die. Like a shell, hopelessly broken, waiting for the day when you're not the hunter, but the hunted. The day that some mission goes wrong, or the information is bad, and all of you get killed. The fear and adreniline that comes with every mission in knowing it could be your last. That excitement, that is what I'm living for. Life or death, living on the tightrope, only one bad step and it could be your doom. That's a feeling of danger that you can't get anywhere else. My own personal high. I don't like the killing, but the danger, the exhileration, is what makes me numb to the pain of taking another life. It's like novacaine for your conscience. It excites me, makes me alert and aware of everything. It's a feeling like being high, only better. Doesn't mess you up as much. Unless you fall from the tightrope. But then you'd be dead, so it doesn't really matter all that much, anyway.
I hate the feeling of living every day only to die. I hate it like I hate the killing. I hate it like I hate that I'll never be able to live a normal life. That I'll never be able to really love someone, because how could I really love someone without staining them with the blood on my hands?
~"Shy Venus, throw away your mask. I want to show your true, tenderly cruel self, a secret that I give just to you. I want to kiss you, surrender to your heart. Like a beast with no place to run to, inside of love's labyrinth until your breath dies out."~
The sky is now perfectly blue, the sun risen high in the sky. Birds sing, and cars whizz past like they have someplace better to be. The air is clear, the world at peace for the time being. I hear a soft knock on the door, then the knob turns, admitting a person to enter.
"Aa. You're awake," Ken says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. When I don't respond, he gets worried. "Are you okay?"
I nod to one of my best friends.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
~"Sly Venus, throw away your mask, showing your tenderly cruel self in one instant of carnival where no one knows you. I want to hold you, surrender in your heart. Like a beast drowned in love, feeling like you're dreaming until your breath dies out."~
~Tsuzuku...
Note: Some SPOILERS in this chapter.
~Chapter Two: Me no Zaiakukan
~Eyes of Guilt
~Reflections of Kudou Yohji
~"--Mystery-- Platinum moonlight reflects a devilishness. Lips that curl into a faint smile are dyed vividly..."~
The day has begun with it's usual beautiful simplicity. The sun shines through my thin curtains like... well, like sun through thin curtains. It gives the room a warm glow, making this impersonal space look like it has been lived in by more than a two-bit glorified whore. I want to lie here forever and enjoy this glow; to just exist in my small world that exists somewhere between waking and sleeping. I don't want to have to go out and face the day; that would mean facing the world, and I'm not ready to do that yet.
I get up slowly, knowing I'll have to eventually anyway, and open the rose curtains that Omi had picked out, looking out of a window that revealed to me the whole world. The sky was pink and lavender, laced with pale oranges and pastels. It looked like a painting waiting to happen. I hoped someone was getting this on an easel, somewhere in the world. I stare out the windows, letting the soft early-morning wind flutter the dark-pink curtains against my back. I really hate that color. Omi said it softened the look of my room and made it more classy, but I think they're just hideous. I'd never say that to his face, of course, though. He'd give me puppy-eyes until I apologized. That kid can make me do anything. It's almost frightening.
Sighing, I look back out the window. I hope the sun takes it's sweet time in rising today.
~"Keep looking forward and don't turn away. With that look in your eyes, the seal can be broken."~
Without noticing, my thoughts drift to other topics than the sunrise. I wonder how early Aya will open the shop today. I wonder if Omi is going to school today, even though he was up late last night researching for our latest mission. I think I should probably be nice and wake him up so that he won't be late, but I know that I won't. The kid deserves a rest. He's had enough Hell for a few millenniums. I, for my part, spent the night in a white bliss with a woman I didn't know until last night and will never know again. I didn't even know her name. She told me to call her Angel, and I did. But I remember that she used to like it when I called her Angel, too. She thought it was so funny, Asuka did, to call her Angel when she said she was more like a devil. I told her she was just a slightly fallen angel, and that I'd help her get back to Heaven if she wanted me to. She shook her head, laughed, and warned me to stop flirting with her before she hurt me. That thought kind of makes me smile, in a sad way. I miss the banter that we used to have. But in a way, it's alright... because I think I'm getting over it. The others have brought me a long way with that. Omi, Ken, and Aya. They've made me feel things that, for a long time, I thought I wouldn't ever feel again, not after Asuka died. They, especially Omi, made me feel like I was wanted, included. Made me feel like part of the team. That did a lot for me.
~"Shy Venus, throw away your mask. I want to show your true, tenderly cruel self, a secret that I give just to you. I want to kiss you, surrender to your heart. Like a beast with no place to run to, inside of love's labyrinth until your breath dies out."~
I remember back when I first came to WeiB. I was the second. Omi was the first. I was really messed up back then; drinking so much I thought I'd drown in it, smoking almost a pack a day. But Omi put his foot down, let me know that he wouldn't tolerate such self-destructive behavior from me. He told me that I was needed for WeiB, and that if I didn't stop doing such bad things to myself, that he would make me. I believed him. That kid has a slow temper, but you don't want to ignite that rage, or you'll definately get burned. He helped me turn around. Not completely, because no one can completely turn around, but he helped me get my life back on track. Back the way it used to be. He reminded, still reminds, me of Asuka. It's difficult to get away from that comparison. It's difficult to not want to be there to protect him, to make sure that what happened to Asuka never happens to him. Then, after Ken showed up, the three of us really became close. That was back before Koneko no Sumu or any of that, back when WeiB operated from a one-bedroom apartment on the west side of town. With no one else to turn to, we turned to each other. We became our own family. When one of us was having problems, the other two knew it. It's been like that ever since. That's why, even at that time when we weren't sure Aya was going to come back to WeiB, we were able to function. Because we were the first of WeiB, and we knew that, with or without Aya, we could still function. Sure, it'd be sad if he left, but we could pick up the pieces and begin again. I'm glad he came back, but we still would've existed even if he hadn't. I don't know how many times I might've given up, and just ended it all, if I didn't have Ken and Omi there with me. They're the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I'm not gonna ask for more.
~"--Sadistic-- I'll let you dance inside of passion's whip. The threads are completely strained, like someone's pulling them..."~
I don't even know if I really loved Asuka. I don't.. I don't think I loved her, like that. I don't think I loved her romantically. She was my best friend, though. She was my family, even after my blood relatives had all died or dropped off the face of the earth. Despite everything, she was always there with me... I guess I felt.. feel.. like her death took a part of me with her. It took me months to get back on track after that. Months, and a supportive friend, and a new life. Asuka was always telling me I didn't have enough friends. I told her, sure I did. She laughed and asked if I meant those one-night-stands. I didn't reply.
I know, I'm just some glorified whore. I bed 'em and leave 'em. I know they all think that of me. But they don't say anything, I guess because they'd rather I do that than drink myself to death. I guess that's my stress relief. Sex and cigarettes. Go figure. Ken has soccer, Aya has his katas, and I have my sex and cigarettes. I dunno what Omi does. I should ask him sometime. It can't be good to bottle up all that stress like he does.
I guess I'm just strange. I wonder if any of the others are as messed up as I am. Probably. I know Omi at least is. If not more messed up than me. He's been through Hell in a handbasket. He's been through more than I'll ever probably go through. So yeah, he's more messed up than I am. I dunno about Aya and Ken. I don't think Ken is. Hell, he's the most normal out of us. The only one with a really "normal" life outside of killing. Ah, what the hell. We're all crazy.
~"With your broken voice, cry 'I love you'. The never-fading proof is carved into my heart."~
For a long time, I blamed only myself for what happened to Asuka. Now, I know that it wasn't my fault. Sometimes I still feel like it was.. but now, in my heart, I know that it wasn't. I'll always remember her, and I'll always regret that I didn't spend more time with her, and get to know her more than I did, but I won't ache over it every day like I used to. Asuka is gone, and she isn't coming back. End of story. The pain probably won't ever completely be gone, but it's bearable.
Even after WeiB is over, and we all go back to living regular lives, I know that I'll always smile on the memories of this time. Back to the memories of my friends. I'd like to think that I would stay in touch with them, but I probably wouldn't. That's something I can see Omi doing, trying to keep in touch with everyone, but I wouldn't do it. Let them be in peace, and forget about the horrors of WeiB and hunting the dark beasts. Let them forget about me when all this is over. Let them forget about Yohji, the psychotic strangler. Let them forget... everything.
~"Sly Venus, throw away your mask, showing your true, tenderly cruel self in one instant of carnival where no one knows you. I want to hold you, surrender in my heart. Like a beast drowned in love, feeling like you're dreaming until your breath dies out."~
The sun is getting high in the sky now. Soft blues are starting to overtake the pastels that have colored the sky. Soon, it will be time to dress, and go down, and start living another day. It's a sad life to live... living only to wait until you die. Like a shell, hopelessly broken, waiting for the day when you're not the hunter, but the hunted. The day that some mission goes wrong, or the information is bad, and all of you get killed. The fear and adreniline that comes with every mission in knowing it could be your last. That excitement, that is what I'm living for. Life or death, living on the tightrope, only one bad step and it could be your doom. That's a feeling of danger that you can't get anywhere else. My own personal high. I don't like the killing, but the danger, the exhileration, is what makes me numb to the pain of taking another life. It's like novacaine for your conscience. It excites me, makes me alert and aware of everything. It's a feeling like being high, only better. Doesn't mess you up as much. Unless you fall from the tightrope. But then you'd be dead, so it doesn't really matter all that much, anyway.
I hate the feeling of living every day only to die. I hate it like I hate the killing. I hate it like I hate that I'll never be able to live a normal life. That I'll never be able to really love someone, because how could I really love someone without staining them with the blood on my hands?
~"Shy Venus, throw away your mask. I want to show your true, tenderly cruel self, a secret that I give just to you. I want to kiss you, surrender to your heart. Like a beast with no place to run to, inside of love's labyrinth until your breath dies out."~
The sky is now perfectly blue, the sun risen high in the sky. Birds sing, and cars whizz past like they have someplace better to be. The air is clear, the world at peace for the time being. I hear a soft knock on the door, then the knob turns, admitting a person to enter.
"Aa. You're awake," Ken says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. When I don't respond, he gets worried. "Are you okay?"
I nod to one of my best friends.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
~"Sly Venus, throw away your mask, showing your tenderly cruel self in one instant of carnival where no one knows you. I want to hold you, surrender in your heart. Like a beast drowned in love, feeling like you're dreaming until your breath dies out."~
~Tsuzuku...
