Notes:
Yet another chapter to add to my growing list! I hope you're enjoying the story so far, don't forget to read and review! This chapter is dedicated to Luka (you know who you are), thanks for all your help in writing this and remember I love you this much! *holds arms out as far as they go*
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters!
Where do we go from here?
Chapter Ten - Everything I do
Luka stared at the bright ceiling light above him. Dave hadn't been to visit him at all since he'd yelled. Not that Luka was surprised. He guessed he did sound pretty angry. The annoying thing about it was that Luka wasn't the least bit angry with Dave. He was more confused and shocked. He didn't know that Dave liked guys in that way and Dave hadn't shown any signals that he did either. That was why the kiss had come as such a shock to Luka. Luka deeply regretted the way he'd reacted, although he hadn't really known what he was doing. Luka winced, remembering that he'd driven his car drunk. Not the smartest of ideas, he thought to himself. He was lucky to be alive that's for sure, not many drunk drivers survived accidents. Luka turned his thoughts back to Dave. How was Dave feeling? He must be afraid of coming to visit him, for fear of being yelled at or worse. Luka sighed, feeling tears in his eyes. He was missing his friend.
~*~
Dave slammed his fist into the alarm clock. It went flying across the room and landed on the floor with an ominous crash. Dave didn't really care. It wasn't like he'd need it for a while anyway. He'd forgotten to turn his alarm off so it had woken him at seven am, an hour away from his usual morning shift. He wondered who County would get as his replacement. Someone they deemed much better no doubt. Dave thought about Luka, lying in ICU, alone. He felt another terrible stab of guilt. He hadn't been to see Luka since he'd yelled at him the last time he'd been outside his room. Dave desperately wanted to see Luka, to talk to him, maybe explain a few things, but he wasn't sure Luka would want to know anymore. After all, it seemed like their friendship was ruined. Dave cursed himself for having feelings for the older man. He couldn't help it, he found him so attractive, his personality, his body, everything. He'd grown so close to Luka and Luka seemed like the only person in the world who could understand him, the only person, clichéd as it sounded, who could truly speak to his heart and Dave had gone and ruined it with one wayward kiss. The door to his room creaked open and Michael entered, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Daddy"? He said questioningly.
"I'm awake Mikey" Dave answered. Michael padded over to Dave's bed and climbed in next to his father. Dave hugged him tightly. "Are you ok"? He asked in concern. "Where's Luka? He hasn't been here for a long time Daddy" Michael asked. Dave sighed, out of the mouths of babes, he thought to himself. "Luka is very busy right now Michael" Dave replied, knowing it must sound quite weak. He only hoped the five year old would buy it. "Will he come soon"? Michael said as he hugged Dave.
"Maybe son, maybe" Dave answered as he pulled Michael even closer. He held his son tightly as the tears began to fall.
~*~
Carter knocked on the door of Abby's apartment. He tried to balance the two cups of coffee and the bag of bagels he'd bought. He hoped that his girlfriend would be awake and that she didn't think it was too early. He heard the sound of the chain being drawn back and shortly afterwards, Abby opened the door a crack to see who it was. "Morning beautiful" Carter grinned.
"I don't feel too good Carter" came Abby's short reply. She sounded slightly upset and Carter noticed this. "What's wrong? Do you want me to take a look at you"? he asked.
"No, I'll be fine. I just want to sleep" Abby replied as she began to close the door.
"Wait! I brought breakfast" Carter said as he held up the bag contained the bagels. "I'm not very hungry" Abby muttered as she shut the door. Carter stared at the door in disbelief. Abby was acting very strangely. Carter wondered if it had anything to do with Luka and the accident. He frowned slightly and his imagination began to go into overdrive. What if Abby still harboured feelings for Luka and that's why she was so upset? Carter turned and began to walk down the hallway thinking just that. He decided to leave Abby be until she called him. If she wanted to have feelings for some other guy, then it was perfectly fine with Carter, he just hoped she didn't expect any kind of affection from him anymore.
~*~
"Where are we going Daddy"? Michael asked as the El made it's away across Chicago. Dave had been staring out of the window, watching the world go by.
"We're going to talk to a friend of mine" Dave answered. He didn't really want Michael to be there when he begged for his job back at County. Hell, he didn't even really want to beg for his job back, but he needed the money to ensure that Michael had everything he needed. He didn't want to be branded a bad father as well as a bad doctor. It was unfortunate that Mrs Hinton was ill with the flu otherwise he'd have been able to take Michael there. As more people boarded the El, Dave pulled Michael onto his lap. He didn't want to lose his son in the busy rush hour crowds. He cursed as he saw Elizabeth Corday and Mark Greene board the El. They were the last people he wanted to see right now. Dave hoped they'd stay at the other end of the carriage and in the mass of people, not notice his presence. "Daddy! I dropped Teddy"! Michael whined as he pointed to the brown woolly bear on the floor. "Need any help"? A familiar voice asked. Dave looked up to see Mark with Elizabeth standing beside him. They were both wearing smiles which Dave found slightly unnerving. "Thanks" Dave said as Mark picked up the bear and handed it back to Michael.
"Are you taking care of him for a friend"? Elizabeth asked. Dave was about to reply before Michael interrupted. "Who are you"? the young child asked.
"My name's Elizabeth and this is my husband Mark, we're doctors" Elizabeth replied with a smile. This child reminded her of someone, but she couldn't place who. "Really? My Daddy's a doctor! and when I grow up I'm going to be just like him! This is my Daddy"! Michael said proudly as he hugged Dave. Dave smiled at Michael and hugged him back. "In response to your previous question Dr Corday, no" Dave smiled a bit when he saw the shocked look on his colleague's faces. "How old is he"? Mark asked.
"I'm five"! Michael said brightly.
"He looks a lot like you" Elizabeth commented, smiling at Michael.
"So where are you headed"? Mark questioned.
"County, I'm hoping I can convince Weaver to give me my job back. I wouldn't have brought Michael, only his usual babysitter was sick and I had no-one else" Dave explained. He didn't want Mark and Elizabeth to think he'd brought Michael along for sympathy. "What do you think my chances are"?
"With Kerry you haven't got a hope in hell" Mark said honestly, with a slight smirk. Dave looked crestfallen. "But with me, you're on your final chance Malucci, and I mean it" Mark continued.
"What"? Dave blinked, not understanding what the attending was trying to tell him. "Kerry decided to leave your fate in my hands after I made a good case for you" Mark answered. "Wow, thanks Dr Greene"! Dave said excitedly. "But why did you do it"?
"Because I can see you're hurting Dave, I don't know what it's about nor do I expect you to tell me. All I expect of you is that you take this chance and you get help from someone whoever that may be" Mark replied.
"You're all right Dr Greene"! Dave grinned. "When do I start"?
"Tomorrow morning at eight, morning shift. I don't expect you to find a babysitter at this short notice"
"Dr Corday you're a lucky woman"! Dave remarked as he grinned from ear to ear. He couldn't believe it! He'd got his job back. This was step one in an attempt to get his life back on track. "Are we still going to see you friend Daddy"? Michael asked, looking up at Dave with his beautiful brown eyes. "No Mikey, but how does ice cream sound"? Dave asked with a smile.
"Yay"! Michael shouted causing various people to look at the father and son curiously. Dave didn't care, for once, things were looking better.
~*~
Luka opened his eyes as Abby entered his room. "I'm sorry, did I wake you"? She asked quietly.
"Not really, I was thinking" Luka replied, sitting up.
"About what"? Abby questioned as she sat down on the visitor's chair.
"Dave" Luka answered. "He hasn't been to see me since he yelled and I really want to see him, the two of us need to talk"
"Would you like me to have a word with him"? Abby offered.
"That would be great" Luka replied gratefully. He absently picked at the fluff on his hospital blanket and began to roll it between his fingers. Abby looked away, she had tears in her eyes and didn't want her friend to see them. "What's wrong Abby"? Luka asked.
"Nothing" Abby replied, her voice faltering. The tears were threatening to escape and she was finding it hard to keep her voice from cracking. "It does not appear to be nothing"
"I don't know how to tell you Luka, I'm in so much trouble" Abby said before bursting into tears. The tears streaked down her face as she began to sob uncontrollably. Luka looked at her uncomfortably. He was in no position to hold her, he was still too sore to move a lot. He awkwardly reached out his arm, and touched her shoulder. "Sssh, don't cry" He said feebly. Luka was far more tactile with his comforting, and found it harder to find the words when he wasn't holding the person. "Luka...I don't know what to do"! Abby cried.
"What's happened? Has somebody hurt you? Has Carter hurt you"? Luka asked, rage suddenly filling him. If Carter had done anything to hurt Abby then he'd...
"No! no..nothing like that" Abby said as she shakily wiped tears from her eyes.
"Then what is it"?
"I'm pregnant Luka" Abby whispered so the Croatian could barely hear her.
"You're pregnant"? Luka stuttered, this was the last news he'd been expecting, especially from the way she was acting, pregnancy was supposed to be a happy thing. "I did the test yesterday" Abby continued, wiping away more errant tears. "I'm having a scan later to officially confirm it"
"That's a good thing though isn't it"? Luka said, confused.
"No! far from it Luka. You don't understand, this is a bad thing, a very bad thing"!
"Why? You have a good relationship with Carter" Luka answered. He tried to hide his jealously, he was still slightly hurting over his break up with Abby and it really did smart that she was now with Carter. "Just think Luka, my mother's bipolar. That means there's a good chance that my baby will be too, this might sound selfish but I couldn't deal with that. Not after all those years with my mother, I just couldn't" Abby replied, again on the verge of more tears.
"There's only a small chance Abby, your baby could also be perfectly healthy" Luka said gently.
"I don't want to take that chance Luka, I can't. This, this has happened before" Abby stuttered.
"When"? Luka gasped.
"Before I came to County, I was pregnant with my husband Brian's child. But I got rid of it for the very same reasons I want to get rid of it now"
"Does Carter know about this"?
"That's the worst part, he doesn't and he can't know Luka. If he finds out, he'll want to keep the baby, you know what Carter's like with children, he won't understand"! Abby said desperately.
"I don't think what you plan to do is right Abby, but I will not tell Carter about any of this" Luka replied.
"Thank you Luka" Abby offered a small smile.
END OF CHAPTER TEN
Yet another chapter to add to my growing list! I hope you're enjoying the story so far, don't forget to read and review! This chapter is dedicated to Luka (you know who you are), thanks for all your help in writing this and remember I love you this much! *holds arms out as far as they go*
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters!
Where do we go from here?
Chapter Ten - Everything I do
Luka stared at the bright ceiling light above him. Dave hadn't been to visit him at all since he'd yelled. Not that Luka was surprised. He guessed he did sound pretty angry. The annoying thing about it was that Luka wasn't the least bit angry with Dave. He was more confused and shocked. He didn't know that Dave liked guys in that way and Dave hadn't shown any signals that he did either. That was why the kiss had come as such a shock to Luka. Luka deeply regretted the way he'd reacted, although he hadn't really known what he was doing. Luka winced, remembering that he'd driven his car drunk. Not the smartest of ideas, he thought to himself. He was lucky to be alive that's for sure, not many drunk drivers survived accidents. Luka turned his thoughts back to Dave. How was Dave feeling? He must be afraid of coming to visit him, for fear of being yelled at or worse. Luka sighed, feeling tears in his eyes. He was missing his friend.
~*~
Dave slammed his fist into the alarm clock. It went flying across the room and landed on the floor with an ominous crash. Dave didn't really care. It wasn't like he'd need it for a while anyway. He'd forgotten to turn his alarm off so it had woken him at seven am, an hour away from his usual morning shift. He wondered who County would get as his replacement. Someone they deemed much better no doubt. Dave thought about Luka, lying in ICU, alone. He felt another terrible stab of guilt. He hadn't been to see Luka since he'd yelled at him the last time he'd been outside his room. Dave desperately wanted to see Luka, to talk to him, maybe explain a few things, but he wasn't sure Luka would want to know anymore. After all, it seemed like their friendship was ruined. Dave cursed himself for having feelings for the older man. He couldn't help it, he found him so attractive, his personality, his body, everything. He'd grown so close to Luka and Luka seemed like the only person in the world who could understand him, the only person, clichéd as it sounded, who could truly speak to his heart and Dave had gone and ruined it with one wayward kiss. The door to his room creaked open and Michael entered, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Daddy"? He said questioningly.
"I'm awake Mikey" Dave answered. Michael padded over to Dave's bed and climbed in next to his father. Dave hugged him tightly. "Are you ok"? He asked in concern. "Where's Luka? He hasn't been here for a long time Daddy" Michael asked. Dave sighed, out of the mouths of babes, he thought to himself. "Luka is very busy right now Michael" Dave replied, knowing it must sound quite weak. He only hoped the five year old would buy it. "Will he come soon"? Michael said as he hugged Dave.
"Maybe son, maybe" Dave answered as he pulled Michael even closer. He held his son tightly as the tears began to fall.
~*~
Carter knocked on the door of Abby's apartment. He tried to balance the two cups of coffee and the bag of bagels he'd bought. He hoped that his girlfriend would be awake and that she didn't think it was too early. He heard the sound of the chain being drawn back and shortly afterwards, Abby opened the door a crack to see who it was. "Morning beautiful" Carter grinned.
"I don't feel too good Carter" came Abby's short reply. She sounded slightly upset and Carter noticed this. "What's wrong? Do you want me to take a look at you"? he asked.
"No, I'll be fine. I just want to sleep" Abby replied as she began to close the door.
"Wait! I brought breakfast" Carter said as he held up the bag contained the bagels. "I'm not very hungry" Abby muttered as she shut the door. Carter stared at the door in disbelief. Abby was acting very strangely. Carter wondered if it had anything to do with Luka and the accident. He frowned slightly and his imagination began to go into overdrive. What if Abby still harboured feelings for Luka and that's why she was so upset? Carter turned and began to walk down the hallway thinking just that. He decided to leave Abby be until she called him. If she wanted to have feelings for some other guy, then it was perfectly fine with Carter, he just hoped she didn't expect any kind of affection from him anymore.
~*~
"Where are we going Daddy"? Michael asked as the El made it's away across Chicago. Dave had been staring out of the window, watching the world go by.
"We're going to talk to a friend of mine" Dave answered. He didn't really want Michael to be there when he begged for his job back at County. Hell, he didn't even really want to beg for his job back, but he needed the money to ensure that Michael had everything he needed. He didn't want to be branded a bad father as well as a bad doctor. It was unfortunate that Mrs Hinton was ill with the flu otherwise he'd have been able to take Michael there. As more people boarded the El, Dave pulled Michael onto his lap. He didn't want to lose his son in the busy rush hour crowds. He cursed as he saw Elizabeth Corday and Mark Greene board the El. They were the last people he wanted to see right now. Dave hoped they'd stay at the other end of the carriage and in the mass of people, not notice his presence. "Daddy! I dropped Teddy"! Michael whined as he pointed to the brown woolly bear on the floor. "Need any help"? A familiar voice asked. Dave looked up to see Mark with Elizabeth standing beside him. They were both wearing smiles which Dave found slightly unnerving. "Thanks" Dave said as Mark picked up the bear and handed it back to Michael.
"Are you taking care of him for a friend"? Elizabeth asked. Dave was about to reply before Michael interrupted. "Who are you"? the young child asked.
"My name's Elizabeth and this is my husband Mark, we're doctors" Elizabeth replied with a smile. This child reminded her of someone, but she couldn't place who. "Really? My Daddy's a doctor! and when I grow up I'm going to be just like him! This is my Daddy"! Michael said proudly as he hugged Dave. Dave smiled at Michael and hugged him back. "In response to your previous question Dr Corday, no" Dave smiled a bit when he saw the shocked look on his colleague's faces. "How old is he"? Mark asked.
"I'm five"! Michael said brightly.
"He looks a lot like you" Elizabeth commented, smiling at Michael.
"So where are you headed"? Mark questioned.
"County, I'm hoping I can convince Weaver to give me my job back. I wouldn't have brought Michael, only his usual babysitter was sick and I had no-one else" Dave explained. He didn't want Mark and Elizabeth to think he'd brought Michael along for sympathy. "What do you think my chances are"?
"With Kerry you haven't got a hope in hell" Mark said honestly, with a slight smirk. Dave looked crestfallen. "But with me, you're on your final chance Malucci, and I mean it" Mark continued.
"What"? Dave blinked, not understanding what the attending was trying to tell him. "Kerry decided to leave your fate in my hands after I made a good case for you" Mark answered. "Wow, thanks Dr Greene"! Dave said excitedly. "But why did you do it"?
"Because I can see you're hurting Dave, I don't know what it's about nor do I expect you to tell me. All I expect of you is that you take this chance and you get help from someone whoever that may be" Mark replied.
"You're all right Dr Greene"! Dave grinned. "When do I start"?
"Tomorrow morning at eight, morning shift. I don't expect you to find a babysitter at this short notice"
"Dr Corday you're a lucky woman"! Dave remarked as he grinned from ear to ear. He couldn't believe it! He'd got his job back. This was step one in an attempt to get his life back on track. "Are we still going to see you friend Daddy"? Michael asked, looking up at Dave with his beautiful brown eyes. "No Mikey, but how does ice cream sound"? Dave asked with a smile.
"Yay"! Michael shouted causing various people to look at the father and son curiously. Dave didn't care, for once, things were looking better.
~*~
Luka opened his eyes as Abby entered his room. "I'm sorry, did I wake you"? She asked quietly.
"Not really, I was thinking" Luka replied, sitting up.
"About what"? Abby questioned as she sat down on the visitor's chair.
"Dave" Luka answered. "He hasn't been to see me since he yelled and I really want to see him, the two of us need to talk"
"Would you like me to have a word with him"? Abby offered.
"That would be great" Luka replied gratefully. He absently picked at the fluff on his hospital blanket and began to roll it between his fingers. Abby looked away, she had tears in her eyes and didn't want her friend to see them. "What's wrong Abby"? Luka asked.
"Nothing" Abby replied, her voice faltering. The tears were threatening to escape and she was finding it hard to keep her voice from cracking. "It does not appear to be nothing"
"I don't know how to tell you Luka, I'm in so much trouble" Abby said before bursting into tears. The tears streaked down her face as she began to sob uncontrollably. Luka looked at her uncomfortably. He was in no position to hold her, he was still too sore to move a lot. He awkwardly reached out his arm, and touched her shoulder. "Sssh, don't cry" He said feebly. Luka was far more tactile with his comforting, and found it harder to find the words when he wasn't holding the person. "Luka...I don't know what to do"! Abby cried.
"What's happened? Has somebody hurt you? Has Carter hurt you"? Luka asked, rage suddenly filling him. If Carter had done anything to hurt Abby then he'd...
"No! no..nothing like that" Abby said as she shakily wiped tears from her eyes.
"Then what is it"?
"I'm pregnant Luka" Abby whispered so the Croatian could barely hear her.
"You're pregnant"? Luka stuttered, this was the last news he'd been expecting, especially from the way she was acting, pregnancy was supposed to be a happy thing. "I did the test yesterday" Abby continued, wiping away more errant tears. "I'm having a scan later to officially confirm it"
"That's a good thing though isn't it"? Luka said, confused.
"No! far from it Luka. You don't understand, this is a bad thing, a very bad thing"!
"Why? You have a good relationship with Carter" Luka answered. He tried to hide his jealously, he was still slightly hurting over his break up with Abby and it really did smart that she was now with Carter. "Just think Luka, my mother's bipolar. That means there's a good chance that my baby will be too, this might sound selfish but I couldn't deal with that. Not after all those years with my mother, I just couldn't" Abby replied, again on the verge of more tears.
"There's only a small chance Abby, your baby could also be perfectly healthy" Luka said gently.
"I don't want to take that chance Luka, I can't. This, this has happened before" Abby stuttered.
"When"? Luka gasped.
"Before I came to County, I was pregnant with my husband Brian's child. But I got rid of it for the very same reasons I want to get rid of it now"
"Does Carter know about this"?
"That's the worst part, he doesn't and he can't know Luka. If he finds out, he'll want to keep the baby, you know what Carter's like with children, he won't understand"! Abby said desperately.
"I don't think what you plan to do is right Abby, but I will not tell Carter about any of this" Luka replied.
"Thank you Luka" Abby offered a small smile.
END OF CHAPTER TEN
