Notes:
This story is getting longer and longer by the day! Each time I tell myself it'll be the last chapter, and each time I think of a new plot line and can't tear myself away from it! So here's another chapter, enjoy!
Disclaimer:
Blood is red and Dave's scrubs are blue, I don't own ER so please don't sue!
Where do we go from here?
Chapter Eleven - Decisions, Decisions
Dave whistled as he wrote up his latest chart. It felt good to be back in the ER. True, he'd had nothing but dirty looks from Kerry all morning but now that he had money coming in again, he decided he didn't really care. "Good morning Dr Carter"! Dave beamed as Carter entered the ER.
"Dave?" Carter asked with a curious look. "The nurses told me you'd be fired"
"I'm back baby"! Dave said triumphantly.
"Fair enough" Carter replied as he put his stethoscope around his neck. "How's Weaver taking it"?
"She's pissed but that's hardly new"
"Abby"! Carter called out as Abby dashed past the desk. Carter was the last person she wanted to see at the moment. She continued walking, hoping to escape from her sometimes overbearing boyfriend. "Abby! Wait up"! Carter called as he ran after her. Abby sighed and stopped, allowing Carter to catch up with her. "Are you alright"? He asked with a concerned look on his face. "I'm fine" Abby answered in a monotone voice.
"I didn't think you were on this morning" Carter said, ignoring Abby's tone of voice. "I'm making up time from missing my last shift"
"You don't have to" Carter frowned.
"Look Carter, I'm busy, I need to go get something for a patient, we'll talk about this later ok"? Abby replied as she began to walk off again.
"Alright. And Abby"?
"Yeah"?
"I love you" Carter said, looking straight into her eyes. Abby looked upset for a minute before taking a deep breath and replying, "I love you too Carter".
~*~
Abby looked at her watch, she was going to be late for her appointment. She watched Dave goofing around with Malik at the admit desk. She had a choice to make, she could either go to her appointment, or she could talk to Dave since appeared to have some free time. She knew that the sooner she sorted Dave out, the sooner Luka would be happy again. Abby made her choice, she approached the desk and tapped Dave on the shoulder. "Could I have a word with you in the lounge"? She asked.
"Of course you can! I always make time for my special ladies"! Dave joked, giving Malik a goofy grin. Abby didn't reply, instead she just led Dave to the lounge. Once the both of them were seated, she began.
"I need to talk to you about Luka"
"I'm sorry Abby, but I uh, have patients to see" Dave said nervously, standing up. "Sit down Malucci"! Abby ordered forcefully.
"God! is there anyone who doesn't yell at me"! Dave muttered.
"Luka wants to know why you haven't been to visit him, practically everyone else in the ER has"
"I can't Abby..." Dave replied. He stared down at the moth-eaten carpet of the lounge, thinking how they should really get it changed or at least properly cleaned. "Why not"? Abby asked. As she looked at the junior resident she thought that she distinctly saw a glimmer of pain in his eyes. "Trust me, I just can't"
"Is it because of the way Luka reacted last time"? Abby questioned, trying to get Dave's eyes to meet hers. "Partly" Dave admitted.
"He didn't mean to yell like that Dave. He wants to see you. He's hurt that you haven't been to see him. I think that he thinks you don't give a damn"
"I do give a damn"! Dave said adamantly, looking straight into Abby's eyes. Abby found his intense look rather disconcerting. "Then show him"
"Look Abby, you don't understand. I can't go and see Luka"! Dave was almost yelling now. Abby was sure she'd certainly hit on a sore point.
"Dave you're hurting him"! Abby replied, shocked at the volume of her own voice.
"When am I not"! Dave shouted. He leapt up and left the lounge, slamming the door as he went.
~*~
"Hey Carter! OB/GYN are on the phone for Abby" Jerry called to Carter who was eating his lunch at the admit desk, whilst attempting to get ahead on his paper. "I haven't seen her for a while, is it concerning a patient"? Carter asked with a frown. "They say they need to talk to her" Jerry replied.
"Give me the phone" Carter ordered. Jerry handed over the phone and Carter practically snatched it out of the desk clerk's hand. "This is Dr Carter, I'm Abby's boyfriend, anything you have to tell her, you can tell me and I'll make sure I pass on the message". Jerry watched as Carter's expression suddenly changed from irritated to shock. "Thank you, I'll make sure she gets that" Carter said as he hung up.
"What was that about"? Jerry asked.
"Nothing important" Carter said angrily. "When you see Abby tell her I need to speak to her, urgently. I'll have my pager on so get her to give me a page" He continued as he grabbed his latest chart and stormed off.
~*~
"I'm sorry Luka, I tried but he just didn't want to know" Abby said gently. After her heated discussion with Dave, she'd immediately come up to talk to Luka about it. Luka was staring ahead, not making eye contact with his friend. He was obviously upset. "What did he say"? He asked quietly.
"He just kept saying how he couldn't come and see you, even when I explained that you weren't mad at him" Abby replied. She gently placed her hand on top of Luka's in a small effort to comfort him. "I'm not mad at him, I just want to talk him about what happened" Luka explained. "About the accident"? Abby questioned. She sensed that there might be something more to this than Luka was letting on. "That and something else"
"Luka, it may be none of my business, but what exactly has gone on between you and Dave? Before this accident you were really close"
"We were close. Dave took me to his favourite bar, it was this quaint little karaoke place. I didn't want to sing at first, but after a few beers I somehow got the courage to sing, so I did and Dave and I were having a great time. I never thought that I could have so much fun" Luka stopped, the hurt showing on his face. Abby gripped his hand tightly, showing she was there. Luka took a deep breath and continued. "I was pretty drunk by the end of the evening and Dave took me back to his place, he must've driven because I don't remember driving to his apartment. I don't really remember much else apart from when we got to Dave's I accidently pulled him on top of me when he put me on the sofa, I remember just laughing and laughing, then all of a sudden, he kissed me"
"Dave"? Abby said in shock.
"I didn't know what to do, the kiss itself did not feel bad at all, Dave's a good kisser, but I pushed him off and out of shock I just grabbed my car keys and left"
"And that's when you had the accident" Abby stated.
"Dave must feel like it's his fault and he must think that I am angry with him because of the way I reacted to his kiss. It wasn't anger though, it was more shock out of what had just happened. I had no idea Dave had an interest in men" Luka continued to explain.
"So that's why he's acting all strange"
"Yes" "Oh my God Luka, I had no idea. What are you going to do"? Abby asked, still trying to take in what she'd just heard, Dave and bisexual weren't usually words that went together. "I need to talk to him. We need to sort this out"
"I'll have another word with him, try and get him to come up here" Abby offered.
"No, that won't be necessary. I have my own plan" Luka replied. He decided he was going to take matters into his own hands and sort this out once and for all.
~*~
Abby sighed deeply as she approached the admit desk. It wasn't particularly late, but it already felt like she'd been awake for hours. She was still trying to take in the shock of what Luka had told her earlier. On top of that, she had her own concerns to deal with. She'd missed her appointment upstairs with OB/GYN to have a scan and talk about the possibility of having an abortion. She did feel guilty at the fact that Carter would never know about this and that she was going behind his back, but she decided that what Carter didn't know, couldn't possibly hurt him. She loved Carter deeply and she didn't want to drag him into her world and concerns about Bi- polar disease. "Abby"? Jerry's voice cut through her thoughts.
"Yeah"?
"Carter said that he needed to talk to you urgently. He sounded pretty pissed too"
"Did he say where he was"? Abby asked, frowning. She figured that Carter was probably pissed at the way she'd been with him recently. "No, but I can page him if you want, he said he'd keep his pager on" Jerry offered. "Thanks Jerry, tell him to stop by my place tonight after his shift, we won't get a chance to talk properly anywhere here" Abby replied.
~*~
"Daddy I think you need a bath too"! Michael chirped, splashing Dave with water. Dave was in the middle of giving Michael a bath, although he wasn't quite sure who was bathing who anymore. "Hey Michael stop that"! Dave said, trying to sound angry. It wasn't any use, he could never be really mad at his son. "You're all bubbly"! Michael giggled. He splashed again, causing Dave to be covered in even more water. "And you're in trouble"! Dave joked. Michael offered him his best smile, the smile he knew would get him out of any trouble. As predicted, Dave instantly melted. "Dirty dirty dirty Daddy"! Michael sung as he splashed about. Dave laughed as he watched his son. There was a knock at the door and Michael immediately started to clumsily climb out of the bath tub. Dave grabbed a towel to wrap Michael in, but by the time he'd turned back, his son was already out of the bath and in the living room, heading towards the door. Dave chased after him and at the last moment, managed to scoop Michael up and wrap a towel around him. "You've made the carpets all wet"! Dave gently scolded. Michael merely grinned, finding the situation a big joke. Dave held Michael with one arm and answered the door, he almost fainted with shock at who was stood there.
"Luka"! He gasped. His friend was standing in the doorway, leaning heavily on a pair of crutches. He looked pretty tired and weak. "Luka"! Michael chorused happily. "Shit Luka! What the hell are you going here? You better come in" Dave said as he moved aside to let the Croatian Attending inside. Luka limped through the door and over to the sofa. Dave closed the door and joined him, sitting Michael on his lap. "So what are you doing here"? Dave asked uncomfortably.
"You wouldn't come and see me, so I have to come and see you" Luka replied quietly. "How did you get here"?
"I signed out at the hospital and took a cab here" Luka answered.
"You obviously signed out AMA, but why Luka"? Dave asked, shocked.
"I told you, we need to talk and you wouldn't come and see me so I had to remedy that situation" Dave bit his lip and looked down at Michael, he didn't really want to discuss this in front of his five year old son. "Michael, why don't you go and play in your room for a while"? Dave suggested, looking at his son. "But Daddy I want to talk to Luka"! Michael whined.
"Michael please, you can talk to Luka later, but right now Luka and Daddy need to talk" Dave pleaded.
"I'll make sure I come and see you before I go" Luka added, smiling at the young child. This was all the confirmation Michael needed. He hopped off Dave's knee and headed to his room. "Then I can show you my animal farm"! Michael said excitedly. "Put your PJ's on too Michael"! Dave called as Michael closed the door to his bedroom. "So why didn't you come to see me"? Luka asked, staring directly at Dave.
"Because, I didn't know how you felt, when you saw me at the window and yelled, I thought you hated me and I was the last person you wanted to see" Dave explained, not looking at Luka. "I didn't mean to shout, it was just the shock of seeing you again" Luka replied gently. "Do you hate me?" Dave asked, scared of the answer.
"Of course not Dave, I care about you, a lot" Dave looked up at Luka, a small smile playing on his lips. "Really"?
"Of course you silly fool" Luka said with a smile. "We've grown really close, I couldn't hate you".
"One of us has to mention it I guess" Dave said quietly, the smile on his face fading. "The kiss"? Dave simply nodded. "You're right, we do have to talk about that" Luka agreed.
"I'm sorry about that, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I just couldn't control my feelings. I know I should've, but I don't know, it just sort of happened" Dave answered, knowing it sounded weak.
"I had no idea you even liked guys" Luka admitted. "It came as quite a shock".
"I've always been bisexual, I just don't make it into some big thing. As I've said before, the people at County have a set idea of me being this womanising kind of guy, so instead of trying to defy that, I just go with it. That's why when I'm talking about my 'conquests' they're always women, although I haven't actually had as many as I claim to have had and those I actually have been with, well, most of them were men I haven't been with that many women since Julia" Dave explained.
"Julia"?
"Michael's mother, we met in Grenada while I was at med school there. She was beautiful, perfect, all I ever wanted and more. She was the first person I truly loved, the first person I truly trusted. I'd never felt like that for anyone before, it felt like love. We started dating and we were so happy together. A couple of months into our relationship, she tells me that she's pregnant. I didn't care, I loved children and she seemed like the perfect person to have one with. So we decided to keep the baby. When Michael was six months old, I decided to propose to her, she said yes and I was walking on air I was that happy. She told me that there was one condition though, I had to tell her everything about me, my secrets and in return she would do the same for me. She said it would mean that we were in a totally honest relationship and we knew each other intimately. I loved her and trusted her, so I had no gripes with her condition at all. She went first, telling me about various things that had happened in her childhood, her twin sister dying, having to live with her grandmother while her parents worked on some project in Africa. She admitted that during the first week of our relationship, she'd kissed another guy. I didn't care, I loved her and I was the one who had her now, so I didn't really get angry or anything. Then it was my turn, so I told her all about my father, the sorts of things he used to do, how it had hurt me but at the same time made me stronger. Then it came to it, to be totally honest towards her, I had to admit I was bisexual. Like I said, I've always known I was bisexual and I had no problem with it, I'd accepted it pretty quickly, figuring that I loved who I loved and there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway, I told her and she completely freaked out on me. She got really mad and asked how I could be that way. I said that I couldn't help it and it was just the way I was. Then she dropped the bombshell on me, she said that she couldn't accept it and that she could never be with a guy who liked other guys in a sexual way. She said she'd never be able to trust me because she'd have to be twice as careful. She told me that it disgusted her, how I could have those short of feelings for someone of the same sex. So we had a big fight and she left me, saying she never wanted anything to do with me again. As for Michael, well, she didn't want to know, she said that he'd probably inherited his father's 'bent' streak and she didn't want a son like that. I couldn't believe how cold she was, towards her own son, towards me, the man she was supposed to be deeply in love with"
"Dave, I'm so sorry" Luka said, putting a hand on Dave's shoulder.
"It's ok, it's all in the past now anyway" Dave said. His voice sounded shaky, which suggested to Luka that his friend still probably carried the scars from that experience. "I don't think me reacting the way I did to the kiss helped any. I suppose you probably thought I was disgusted by it" Luka replied.
"Were you"? Dave asked.
"Not really, I didn't feel really bad, in fact, it felt quite nice. You're a good kisser Dave".
"Then why did you run like that"?
"Because I was so shocked, it was a shock reaction. Admittedly it wasn't the best thing to do, go and get in a car crash"
"I'm so sorry Luka, it's my fault" Dave apologised.
"No it isn't Dave, you did what felt right at the time, how could you possibly have known"? Luka asked.
"I know you don't like guys like that, so I should've known not to kiss you" Dave replied sadly.
"Dave, how do you feel about me"? Luka questioned. He put his hand under Dave's chin and forced the junior resident to look at him in the eyes. Dave looked back, and prepared to give the most honest answer he'd ever given in his life.
END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN
This story is getting longer and longer by the day! Each time I tell myself it'll be the last chapter, and each time I think of a new plot line and can't tear myself away from it! So here's another chapter, enjoy!
Disclaimer:
Blood is red and Dave's scrubs are blue, I don't own ER so please don't sue!
Where do we go from here?
Chapter Eleven - Decisions, Decisions
Dave whistled as he wrote up his latest chart. It felt good to be back in the ER. True, he'd had nothing but dirty looks from Kerry all morning but now that he had money coming in again, he decided he didn't really care. "Good morning Dr Carter"! Dave beamed as Carter entered the ER.
"Dave?" Carter asked with a curious look. "The nurses told me you'd be fired"
"I'm back baby"! Dave said triumphantly.
"Fair enough" Carter replied as he put his stethoscope around his neck. "How's Weaver taking it"?
"She's pissed but that's hardly new"
"Abby"! Carter called out as Abby dashed past the desk. Carter was the last person she wanted to see at the moment. She continued walking, hoping to escape from her sometimes overbearing boyfriend. "Abby! Wait up"! Carter called as he ran after her. Abby sighed and stopped, allowing Carter to catch up with her. "Are you alright"? He asked with a concerned look on his face. "I'm fine" Abby answered in a monotone voice.
"I didn't think you were on this morning" Carter said, ignoring Abby's tone of voice. "I'm making up time from missing my last shift"
"You don't have to" Carter frowned.
"Look Carter, I'm busy, I need to go get something for a patient, we'll talk about this later ok"? Abby replied as she began to walk off again.
"Alright. And Abby"?
"Yeah"?
"I love you" Carter said, looking straight into her eyes. Abby looked upset for a minute before taking a deep breath and replying, "I love you too Carter".
~*~
Abby looked at her watch, she was going to be late for her appointment. She watched Dave goofing around with Malik at the admit desk. She had a choice to make, she could either go to her appointment, or she could talk to Dave since appeared to have some free time. She knew that the sooner she sorted Dave out, the sooner Luka would be happy again. Abby made her choice, she approached the desk and tapped Dave on the shoulder. "Could I have a word with you in the lounge"? She asked.
"Of course you can! I always make time for my special ladies"! Dave joked, giving Malik a goofy grin. Abby didn't reply, instead she just led Dave to the lounge. Once the both of them were seated, she began.
"I need to talk to you about Luka"
"I'm sorry Abby, but I uh, have patients to see" Dave said nervously, standing up. "Sit down Malucci"! Abby ordered forcefully.
"God! is there anyone who doesn't yell at me"! Dave muttered.
"Luka wants to know why you haven't been to visit him, practically everyone else in the ER has"
"I can't Abby..." Dave replied. He stared down at the moth-eaten carpet of the lounge, thinking how they should really get it changed or at least properly cleaned. "Why not"? Abby asked. As she looked at the junior resident she thought that she distinctly saw a glimmer of pain in his eyes. "Trust me, I just can't"
"Is it because of the way Luka reacted last time"? Abby questioned, trying to get Dave's eyes to meet hers. "Partly" Dave admitted.
"He didn't mean to yell like that Dave. He wants to see you. He's hurt that you haven't been to see him. I think that he thinks you don't give a damn"
"I do give a damn"! Dave said adamantly, looking straight into Abby's eyes. Abby found his intense look rather disconcerting. "Then show him"
"Look Abby, you don't understand. I can't go and see Luka"! Dave was almost yelling now. Abby was sure she'd certainly hit on a sore point.
"Dave you're hurting him"! Abby replied, shocked at the volume of her own voice.
"When am I not"! Dave shouted. He leapt up and left the lounge, slamming the door as he went.
~*~
"Hey Carter! OB/GYN are on the phone for Abby" Jerry called to Carter who was eating his lunch at the admit desk, whilst attempting to get ahead on his paper. "I haven't seen her for a while, is it concerning a patient"? Carter asked with a frown. "They say they need to talk to her" Jerry replied.
"Give me the phone" Carter ordered. Jerry handed over the phone and Carter practically snatched it out of the desk clerk's hand. "This is Dr Carter, I'm Abby's boyfriend, anything you have to tell her, you can tell me and I'll make sure I pass on the message". Jerry watched as Carter's expression suddenly changed from irritated to shock. "Thank you, I'll make sure she gets that" Carter said as he hung up.
"What was that about"? Jerry asked.
"Nothing important" Carter said angrily. "When you see Abby tell her I need to speak to her, urgently. I'll have my pager on so get her to give me a page" He continued as he grabbed his latest chart and stormed off.
~*~
"I'm sorry Luka, I tried but he just didn't want to know" Abby said gently. After her heated discussion with Dave, she'd immediately come up to talk to Luka about it. Luka was staring ahead, not making eye contact with his friend. He was obviously upset. "What did he say"? He asked quietly.
"He just kept saying how he couldn't come and see you, even when I explained that you weren't mad at him" Abby replied. She gently placed her hand on top of Luka's in a small effort to comfort him. "I'm not mad at him, I just want to talk him about what happened" Luka explained. "About the accident"? Abby questioned. She sensed that there might be something more to this than Luka was letting on. "That and something else"
"Luka, it may be none of my business, but what exactly has gone on between you and Dave? Before this accident you were really close"
"We were close. Dave took me to his favourite bar, it was this quaint little karaoke place. I didn't want to sing at first, but after a few beers I somehow got the courage to sing, so I did and Dave and I were having a great time. I never thought that I could have so much fun" Luka stopped, the hurt showing on his face. Abby gripped his hand tightly, showing she was there. Luka took a deep breath and continued. "I was pretty drunk by the end of the evening and Dave took me back to his place, he must've driven because I don't remember driving to his apartment. I don't really remember much else apart from when we got to Dave's I accidently pulled him on top of me when he put me on the sofa, I remember just laughing and laughing, then all of a sudden, he kissed me"
"Dave"? Abby said in shock.
"I didn't know what to do, the kiss itself did not feel bad at all, Dave's a good kisser, but I pushed him off and out of shock I just grabbed my car keys and left"
"And that's when you had the accident" Abby stated.
"Dave must feel like it's his fault and he must think that I am angry with him because of the way I reacted to his kiss. It wasn't anger though, it was more shock out of what had just happened. I had no idea Dave had an interest in men" Luka continued to explain.
"So that's why he's acting all strange"
"Yes" "Oh my God Luka, I had no idea. What are you going to do"? Abby asked, still trying to take in what she'd just heard, Dave and bisexual weren't usually words that went together. "I need to talk to him. We need to sort this out"
"I'll have another word with him, try and get him to come up here" Abby offered.
"No, that won't be necessary. I have my own plan" Luka replied. He decided he was going to take matters into his own hands and sort this out once and for all.
~*~
Abby sighed deeply as she approached the admit desk. It wasn't particularly late, but it already felt like she'd been awake for hours. She was still trying to take in the shock of what Luka had told her earlier. On top of that, she had her own concerns to deal with. She'd missed her appointment upstairs with OB/GYN to have a scan and talk about the possibility of having an abortion. She did feel guilty at the fact that Carter would never know about this and that she was going behind his back, but she decided that what Carter didn't know, couldn't possibly hurt him. She loved Carter deeply and she didn't want to drag him into her world and concerns about Bi- polar disease. "Abby"? Jerry's voice cut through her thoughts.
"Yeah"?
"Carter said that he needed to talk to you urgently. He sounded pretty pissed too"
"Did he say where he was"? Abby asked, frowning. She figured that Carter was probably pissed at the way she'd been with him recently. "No, but I can page him if you want, he said he'd keep his pager on" Jerry offered. "Thanks Jerry, tell him to stop by my place tonight after his shift, we won't get a chance to talk properly anywhere here" Abby replied.
~*~
"Daddy I think you need a bath too"! Michael chirped, splashing Dave with water. Dave was in the middle of giving Michael a bath, although he wasn't quite sure who was bathing who anymore. "Hey Michael stop that"! Dave said, trying to sound angry. It wasn't any use, he could never be really mad at his son. "You're all bubbly"! Michael giggled. He splashed again, causing Dave to be covered in even more water. "And you're in trouble"! Dave joked. Michael offered him his best smile, the smile he knew would get him out of any trouble. As predicted, Dave instantly melted. "Dirty dirty dirty Daddy"! Michael sung as he splashed about. Dave laughed as he watched his son. There was a knock at the door and Michael immediately started to clumsily climb out of the bath tub. Dave grabbed a towel to wrap Michael in, but by the time he'd turned back, his son was already out of the bath and in the living room, heading towards the door. Dave chased after him and at the last moment, managed to scoop Michael up and wrap a towel around him. "You've made the carpets all wet"! Dave gently scolded. Michael merely grinned, finding the situation a big joke. Dave held Michael with one arm and answered the door, he almost fainted with shock at who was stood there.
"Luka"! He gasped. His friend was standing in the doorway, leaning heavily on a pair of crutches. He looked pretty tired and weak. "Luka"! Michael chorused happily. "Shit Luka! What the hell are you going here? You better come in" Dave said as he moved aside to let the Croatian Attending inside. Luka limped through the door and over to the sofa. Dave closed the door and joined him, sitting Michael on his lap. "So what are you doing here"? Dave asked uncomfortably.
"You wouldn't come and see me, so I have to come and see you" Luka replied quietly. "How did you get here"?
"I signed out at the hospital and took a cab here" Luka answered.
"You obviously signed out AMA, but why Luka"? Dave asked, shocked.
"I told you, we need to talk and you wouldn't come and see me so I had to remedy that situation" Dave bit his lip and looked down at Michael, he didn't really want to discuss this in front of his five year old son. "Michael, why don't you go and play in your room for a while"? Dave suggested, looking at his son. "But Daddy I want to talk to Luka"! Michael whined.
"Michael please, you can talk to Luka later, but right now Luka and Daddy need to talk" Dave pleaded.
"I'll make sure I come and see you before I go" Luka added, smiling at the young child. This was all the confirmation Michael needed. He hopped off Dave's knee and headed to his room. "Then I can show you my animal farm"! Michael said excitedly. "Put your PJ's on too Michael"! Dave called as Michael closed the door to his bedroom. "So why didn't you come to see me"? Luka asked, staring directly at Dave.
"Because, I didn't know how you felt, when you saw me at the window and yelled, I thought you hated me and I was the last person you wanted to see" Dave explained, not looking at Luka. "I didn't mean to shout, it was just the shock of seeing you again" Luka replied gently. "Do you hate me?" Dave asked, scared of the answer.
"Of course not Dave, I care about you, a lot" Dave looked up at Luka, a small smile playing on his lips. "Really"?
"Of course you silly fool" Luka said with a smile. "We've grown really close, I couldn't hate you".
"One of us has to mention it I guess" Dave said quietly, the smile on his face fading. "The kiss"? Dave simply nodded. "You're right, we do have to talk about that" Luka agreed.
"I'm sorry about that, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I just couldn't control my feelings. I know I should've, but I don't know, it just sort of happened" Dave answered, knowing it sounded weak.
"I had no idea you even liked guys" Luka admitted. "It came as quite a shock".
"I've always been bisexual, I just don't make it into some big thing. As I've said before, the people at County have a set idea of me being this womanising kind of guy, so instead of trying to defy that, I just go with it. That's why when I'm talking about my 'conquests' they're always women, although I haven't actually had as many as I claim to have had and those I actually have been with, well, most of them were men I haven't been with that many women since Julia" Dave explained.
"Julia"?
"Michael's mother, we met in Grenada while I was at med school there. She was beautiful, perfect, all I ever wanted and more. She was the first person I truly loved, the first person I truly trusted. I'd never felt like that for anyone before, it felt like love. We started dating and we were so happy together. A couple of months into our relationship, she tells me that she's pregnant. I didn't care, I loved children and she seemed like the perfect person to have one with. So we decided to keep the baby. When Michael was six months old, I decided to propose to her, she said yes and I was walking on air I was that happy. She told me that there was one condition though, I had to tell her everything about me, my secrets and in return she would do the same for me. She said it would mean that we were in a totally honest relationship and we knew each other intimately. I loved her and trusted her, so I had no gripes with her condition at all. She went first, telling me about various things that had happened in her childhood, her twin sister dying, having to live with her grandmother while her parents worked on some project in Africa. She admitted that during the first week of our relationship, she'd kissed another guy. I didn't care, I loved her and I was the one who had her now, so I didn't really get angry or anything. Then it was my turn, so I told her all about my father, the sorts of things he used to do, how it had hurt me but at the same time made me stronger. Then it came to it, to be totally honest towards her, I had to admit I was bisexual. Like I said, I've always known I was bisexual and I had no problem with it, I'd accepted it pretty quickly, figuring that I loved who I loved and there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway, I told her and she completely freaked out on me. She got really mad and asked how I could be that way. I said that I couldn't help it and it was just the way I was. Then she dropped the bombshell on me, she said that she couldn't accept it and that she could never be with a guy who liked other guys in a sexual way. She said she'd never be able to trust me because she'd have to be twice as careful. She told me that it disgusted her, how I could have those short of feelings for someone of the same sex. So we had a big fight and she left me, saying she never wanted anything to do with me again. As for Michael, well, she didn't want to know, she said that he'd probably inherited his father's 'bent' streak and she didn't want a son like that. I couldn't believe how cold she was, towards her own son, towards me, the man she was supposed to be deeply in love with"
"Dave, I'm so sorry" Luka said, putting a hand on Dave's shoulder.
"It's ok, it's all in the past now anyway" Dave said. His voice sounded shaky, which suggested to Luka that his friend still probably carried the scars from that experience. "I don't think me reacting the way I did to the kiss helped any. I suppose you probably thought I was disgusted by it" Luka replied.
"Were you"? Dave asked.
"Not really, I didn't feel really bad, in fact, it felt quite nice. You're a good kisser Dave".
"Then why did you run like that"?
"Because I was so shocked, it was a shock reaction. Admittedly it wasn't the best thing to do, go and get in a car crash"
"I'm so sorry Luka, it's my fault" Dave apologised.
"No it isn't Dave, you did what felt right at the time, how could you possibly have known"? Luka asked.
"I know you don't like guys like that, so I should've known not to kiss you" Dave replied sadly.
"Dave, how do you feel about me"? Luka questioned. He put his hand under Dave's chin and forced the junior resident to look at him in the eyes. Dave looked back, and prepared to give the most honest answer he'd ever given in his life.
END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN
