Not Always What You Want

By Emily Carol

Ch. 5

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Disclaimer- Wish I owned Gilmore Girls, but I don't. I'm also only 13 so if you sue me I don't have that much money in the first place. I DO own Emma and Emily and some other characters. I also don't own really much else mentioned in here, such as Judy Blume and American Airlines.

Summary- Future Fic - Rory's life isn't always what she wanted. Jess's life isn't always what he wanted. In fact, not that many people's life is what they wanted. But Jess goes out in search of something he always wanted. To find he may never get it.

Rating- PG right now for slight language

Spoilers- Just that Dean left Stars Hollow before Rory went to Yale and that he married Lindsay.

Lieke- Jess wrote the book and he was reading the unedited version of his book, they send authors books that aren't exactly complete when they write them.

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"I don't know what to wear!" Rory whined into her phone. She was sitting in her apartment looking at all the clothes thrown all over her bed. She was on the phone with Lorelai.

"Jeez," Lorelai said. "This is hard to do without me knowing where're you're going and what the hell you even own."

"Yeah, well sorry, little too late for that. Now what do I wear!" Rory said.

"Mongolian Barbecue, all you can eat," Lorelai said pondering. "Something casual, those actually okay looking kakis and your red sweater, wait, is it cold in Illinois in November?"

"Yes Mom," Rory sighed. "It's cold, thanks for the advice."

"Oh, and take a big purse so you can stuff all the food you don't have time to finish in there."

"No thank you," Rory said.

"Ooh," Lorelai said. "Now you're being Miss Manners!"

"Don't get so excited," Rory said giggling at her mother's humor. "I was going to say this is my first date with Eric and I don't want to seem like the huge pig that I am."

"Okay, okay," Lorelai said. "Bye." *Click*, Lorelai hung up the phone. Rory sighed. She started to put her clothes back into her closet. When she shoved some shirts in there a picture frame fell out. And a familiar face looked up at her.

It was the picture of her and Jess that her mom had taken of them at the counter of Luke's. Rory was leaning over the counter looking deep into Jess's eyes with a small smile on her face.

Rory looked closer and notice that Jess was smiling too, a genuine smile. Like he loved her.

Rory remembered the day she'd called him when she cut off all ties.

*-~-*-~-*

Flashback

*-~-*-~-*

"But Rory," Jess said. "Why? I love you."

"And I thought I loved you," Rory said slamming down the phone. She never spoke to him again.

*-~-*-~-*

End of

Flashback

*-~-*-~*

Rory wiped her hand over her eyes, stopping the tears before they started. She had loved him. Past tense. Now she was free. She had a date tonight with a wonderful man who was cute, funny, nice, and had a beautiful daughter. She was free.

'But maybe freedom isn't what I want,' Rory thought to herself. 'Maybe I want to still be with Jess. To love him and be with him forever. Maybe this date tonight with Eric is a huge mistake and I should just find Jess. Find him sometime soon, before he gets married. Find him and tell him I love him and I never want to be without him. Ever.'

Rory picked up the phone and hit the redial button. Lorelai picked up. "I'm having second thoughts," Rory blurted out before her mother could say anything.

"About what?" Lorelai said.

"About this date with Eric," Rory said.

"Why?" Lorelai asked.

"Because I still love Jess, I know I do," Rory said.

"But honey, you don't know where he is, he could be anywhere in this world," Lorelai said.

"Mom, I didn't tell you something," Rory said timidly.

"What?" Lorelai asked.

"Jess wrote a book," Rory said. "I could find out where he is."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lorelai asked Rory.

"Because I wasn't sure of anything," Rory said. "Mom, there's more. I went to look at the title today because I hadn't looked at it before. Mom, he named it..." Rory trailed off.

"What honey?" Lorelai asked.

"He named it Gilmore Girls."

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A/N- Hope you all enjoyed! R&R.