SAFETY
Chapter 6
Like always, she left the table after helping clear it off and returned to her room to work on her math and English papers. She was halfway into the fraction section of her Algebra chapter when boots were heard outside of her door.
"Hey, sport."
Faith looked up from her homework to see a set of greasy, dirtied work clothes and a film of motor oil disguising her dad. He smiled at her, the way he always did when she needed it most.
She weakly smiled back. "Hi."
"How're you doing?"
He'd gotten his BA in mechanics and conversation starting, she thought with a sarcastic smirk. But he meant well. Faith humored him with another weak smile. "Fine." The word of the day.
"Oh…" he said. Faith was sure that he knew what had gone on at the doctor's office...but she wasn't about to bring it up. "Well…that's good…" He cleared his throat. "Well. I'm going to take my shower. There was a problem with the alternator on one of the trucks that came in. But it wasn't that hard to fix. I'm just glad it's over. Well…I'll talk to you later."
And from the looks of it, neither was he. Faith nodded. "Talk to you later, dad."
Smiling again, his boots lightly stomped against the hard wood floor, and he pulled off his shirt to reveal a back that was worked to the bone.
He worked so hard to send her to Catholic school. Twelve hours a day. That Catholic guilt came and stuck as she turned back to finish her homework.
By ten o' clock that night, Faith forced herself to push all thoughts from her mind. However, it was to no avail. Sleep still hadn't evolved from the long hours of the day by eleven, and by eleven thirty, Faith grew impatient. Though she wasn't sick, she took some Nyquil when no one was looking. As planned, the drugs took their toll within the next half hour, and Faith sank into a thankful, dreamless sleep.
* * * * *
Faith sat bolt upright in bed, shocked from her sleep.
And was met with darkness. Immediately, her hand searched desperately for a light above her bed, and with some effort her hand made contact with it.
Her eyes squinted, appreciative but pained from the sudden brightness. Faith gave a groan and turned to the illuminated red numbers on the clock next to her bed.
Two thirty-eight.
Awake now, her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten enough at dinner to get it through the wee hours of the morn. Obliging it, she flipped her feet out of bed and lethargically trotted to her kitchen, flipping on the lights as her only defense against the creatures in the darkness she knew weren't there…but launched an attack on just the same.
With wide eyes, she stared at the empty kitchen, daring it to make one false sound.
But only the distant rumble of a truck on the highway and a few rhythmic cricket chirps met her ear.
Sighing, Faith rubbed her tired eyes void of her beloved glasses and opened the refrigerator. Hmm…eggplant parmesan from the night before…milk…cheese…old apples and oranges from who knew when…pasta from a few lunches back…Tabasco sauce…grilled zucchini and onions-
Faith made a face.
The pasta won.
Setting the microwave for two and a half minutes, she slunk into one of the chairs at the table with a sigh.
"Why me?" she asked, gazing upward.
Faith knew it was self-pitying, but she couldn't help herself. She shrugged. "Why me?" she repeated. A cricket chirped, then another, and then the same one.
She may have been talking to the ceiling fan, but really, Faith was talking to God.
The gaze quickly morphed into a glare. "Why ME?" she demanded in a more confident tone.
Silence.
Faith sniffed, her voice quivering now. "I've done NOTHING. I don't do drugs. I don't hurt people. I follow the rules of my house. I don't lie, steal, cheat, commit adultery, don't dare to use your name in vain. I don't even cuss! I honor my mother and father, and I go to church every Sunday."
Faith stood up brazenly, straightening her bathrobe tied around her waist. "This isn't fair!" she shouted in a whisper. Faith tried to find a way to insult God, to make him as mad as she was now, silly as the concept seemed. "How do I know you're even up there anyway, huh? How do I know that you even exist? It's not like you ever come down here to let us know you're really up there – IF you are at all. All you ever do is sit up there, sending us all this misery and pain." Faith swallowed, growing brave. "I have no friends at school, no friends out of school, no life, and now you're taking away my right to walk?!" Faith crossed her arms bitterly. "Well, f*** that. I don't want to believe in someone that'll let that happen."
The rest of the lament she thought inwardly. How do I ever know he's hearing me. See...she waited a second for posterity. Ha, not a word. I knew it. There is no God…and I'll just have to get used to the fact. She scowled. Why am I even wasting my time thinking about this?
Faith…
Faith was thrown from her stance and backed up against the wall. She didn't need to question who had called her name aloud. It wasn't her brother. It wasn't her parents, and she simply hadn't imagined it.
"Oh my God…"
Faith felt her breath hasten, and she froze, rigor-mortis style, her eyes locked on the ceiling as the voice emanated all around her. Then, her panic subsided….as if a sweet, calming air had suddenly surrounded and embraced her. Nothing mattered, except listening to the voice, which was calling to her ever so gently.
Shhhh… she heard. I don't want you to worry anymore. I am here. And I am going to take care of you.
In that one instant, all of Faith's fears, inhibitions, troubles, and things that had once seemed important melted away, as if they had never even been there in the first place. She felt at peace, safety… And with that, fatigue overtook her, and she immediately felt her head droop downward. In a surreal calm, she left the pasta in the microwave and stumbled back to her room, exhausted. Faith collapsed down onto her bed, using all of her energy to pull the covers overtop of her body.
She passed out and didn't wake up until the biting blare of her alarm clock
jolted her from her slumber the next morning….
