Chapter Fourteen: Pippin's View
Pippin stood with his ear pressed to his bedroom door. He could make out raised voices just before he heard the door slam. He couldn't make out the exact words, but he knew right away that one of the two grown male hobbits was angry.
Silently he turned the handle and eased the door open just a crack. He tried to take in the view of the hallway, but it was too long. It seemed empty. He eyeballed the other side of the hallway through to crack to make certain no one else was lingering about. Pippin opened the door further and slipped out of his room.
Taking great care so as not to make a sound, he crept up towards his father's study on his hand and knees. The door was still open a little, and Pippin could see his uncle sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Thinking his uncle's attention was elsewhere, Pippin stretched his neck to scope the entire study. He could see his father no where inside the room.
Papa's the one who's upset!, he thought, and started to back away from the door.
"Laddie!"
Pippin flinched to hear his uncle call to him. He thought to make up a story to tell his uncle so that he could get away and look for his own father. But no; he caught sight of Saradoc's face. He could readily see his uncle had been in tears.
Now that he'd been found out, Pippin got up onto his feet. "I...I was looking for my Papa."
"Of course you were--come here, child."
Pippin hesitated, but obeyed his elder as his father taught him. He went over and stood in front of Saradoc. "Yes, Uncle?" Pippin took notice how Saradoc's face looked weary and flushed from his tears.
Still holding up his head with one hand, Saradoc looked at Pippin and spoke with a tired voice, "If I ask you a question, lad, I know you will answer me with the truth, will you not?"
Pippin thought a moment--Uncle Saradoc asking me a question? What did I do this time? But no! I haven't been into mischief all day--so far! He nodded to his uncle.
Saradoc took a handkerchief from the inside pocket of his vest and wiped his nose with it. He deliberated for a moment, then asked, "Does Merry hate me? Does he hate me to the point of never wanting to come home--home to Brandy Hall?"
Saradoc looked at the young child in front of him. He envisioned his own son at that age; he knew only too well that he had hid behind his study for far too long. He remembered Merry at age eight, but could not recall any laughter, or any other intimate moments between him and his son. Even when it was time for his son to learn his letters he employed his brother, Merimac, using the excuse that Merry would learn quicker alongside his cousin Berilac. Then he smiled, remembering the scraps Merry and Berilac would get into. Tearing himself away from his reverie, he focused on Pippin's response.
"....he's thought a lot about you since then. I don't believe--"
"I'm terribly sorry, lad! Could you start over, please?"
"Yes, sir." Inwardly, Pippin felt a bit put out; I'll have to remember to tell Merry his loss of hearing didn't come from swimming! "I said, Not anymore. Ever since you visited him at Bag End he's thought a lot about you since then. I don't believe he hates you, though I'm quite certain he is still angry."
Saradoc pointed a finger at himself, "With me?" Pippin nodded. Saradoc was silent for a few seconds, "Have you and Merry discussed his feelings at all?"
"Yes, sir, just last night we did." Pippin replied.
"And how does Merry feel about coming home?"
Pippin opened his mouth, then thought better and closed it again.
"Do you think there's any chance at all for me? I mean, do you think he'll ever allow me inside his heart?"
Never one to chase around bushes, Pippin got straight to the point, "Why are you asking me these questions? I can't answer them for Merry--I could, but I won't. Wouldn't you want to put these questions to your own son? He's in his room with Aunt Essie."
"Your answer does not cheer the heart of an old hobbit, laddie! But I thank you for being honest with me." Saradoc took in a deep breath, "Very well, Peregrin--I will do just as you said--and thank you!"
