Chapter Fifteen: A New Beginning
Esmeralda sat and watched her precious son sleep. She did this as often as she could since he was born. Soon enough life would turn him into an adult hobbit, and then....his wife would be the one to sit and watch him sleep.
Merry looked so peaceful as the flickering light from the fire danced upon his face; his eyes were closed and his countenance relaxed. She was content to just sit and watch him breath.
Earlier, once supper was finished, she helped her son back into the bed. They spoke of different things, then Merry told his mother about rescuing Pervinca from the stream the day before.
"Is that why you're having a hard time standing? Are your ears giving you grief now?" She watched Merry nod, "Only a little."
"Laddie! What am I going to do with you?" His mother pretended to be dramatically annoyed, which got Merry laughing. "You've been told about your ears before!" Then Esmeralda smiled, "But I didn't raise you to sit and be idle in such a situation; and I wouldn't have you any other way!"
After several minutes more of conversation she could see her son was becoming drowsy. At first he laughed about it, then as time wore on he found he simply couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. It was over an hour ago the last time he closed his eyes.
Esmeralda heard a soft knock upon the door and saw it open up a little as the lamp light from the hallway poured inside the dimly lit bedroom. She recognized the face that appeared around the door as her husband's. "Sara!", she whispered, "What is it that you want?"
Saradoc took his eyes from his sleeping son to his wife, "I only wanted to talk...to Merry." He closed the door behind him.
"Well, Dear, as you can see he's fast asleep. Go on to bed!" Her whisper barely left her lips when she felt his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them. Esmeralda reached her hand up and touched his.
Saradoc bent down to whisper in Esmeralda's ear, "Then may I speak with you?"
Merry stirred in his sleep; shifting position, he turned over and faced his parents.
"Shhhh, Sara! We must go elsewhere and talk or we'll wake up Merry!"
"I'm already awake." Merry's eyes were open, though his voice was heavy with sleep.
"I'm sorry, Merry! It's my fault; I should have been more careful." replied Saradoc. "Shall I come back another time?"
Merry shrugged his shoulders. "Then may I stay?" he ventured.
Merry shrugged his shoulders again, "Don't matter."
"Don't pester the lad, Sara!" Esmeralda leaned over to feel her son's forehead. "Does your head still hurt?"
Merry paused, "I don't think so."
"How about your ears?"
"No, I don't feel anything." Merry was still groggy.
"Well, you don't feel too warm anymore, but your hair is damp." Then his mother reached under the blanket to feel his nightshirt. "Your fever must have broken--you're soaked!"
Esmeralda indicated across the room, "Go to the wardrobe there, Sara, and fetch Merry another nightshirt, and bring fresh linen as well!"
"Come along, son, get up slowly now! Don't want you to catch a draft in your wet clothes!" Esmeralda helped Merry get up and stand to the side while she took off the wet linen from the bed. Saradoc helped Merry into his dry nightshirt while Esmeralda left to finding additional bed sheets in the washroom.
Esmeralda was back in a few minutes with a bundle of linen in her arms and proceeded to redress the bed. She pretended not to mind the conversation going on behind her.
"...I know you're angry with me, and...I guess I'm angry with myself, these days, too. I've felt a lot of anger over the years myself, and none of it was towards you. Yet you took the brunt of it. I can never forgive myself."
Merry did not respond right away. Esmeralda folded the sheet in half to place over the spot where he lay sweating. She let her eyes wander over to her son to ensure he wasn't about to emotionally explode.
Merry sighed, "I don't know if I even feel angry anymore. I don't know what I feel right now." His fixed his blue eyes on the little pillow that lay on a chair next to the fireplace. It had been sitting right where he left it before leaving for Frodo's party.
In his own mind, Saradoc was elated; this was the first real conversation that he and his son had had since Merry was a small lad. He almost didn't want to break the spell...
Saradoc watched as Merry curled up in his chair looking spent. He thought Merry was actually sleeping until he took his hand and brushed his longish hair away from his eyes. Saradoc didn't want to take the risk of ruining further chance of more talks with his son. "Well I am guessing a weighty conversation is not what you want at the moment. I will wait until you are feeling better, and hopefully then we may continue it?" Saradoc watched Merry for a response.
Why doesn't he just go away?, Merry heard his thoughts, but do I really want him to? He felt himself take a deep breath and release it. I suppose I've been wanting this...I may as well push forward. Before he knew it, he found himself nodding his head.
