Chapter Nineteen: Letting Go
Paladin softly knocked on the door to his nephew's room. He remembered seeing light inside the window as he rode up the lane earlier. He could hear a muffled voice on the other side of the door and decided the best course of action was to open the door and look inside.
He saw the source of the light was the fire in the fireplace, along with a lamp sitting on the table by the window. As he quietly closed the door behind him he recognized the voice of his sister, Essie, humming a lullaby from the chair where she sat--apparently half asleep herself. Nearby on the bed, lay a slumbering Merry covered with his favorite quilt. Paladin noted how serene he looked. Gone were the dark circles under his eyes and color had come back into his face.
Not wanting to break the enchanting spell that bound mother and son, Paladin crept to the wardrobe and pulled out a smaller, lighter blanket, and spread it over his sister.
Esmeralda startled and opened her eyes. "Paladin!" She whispered, "Where have you been? We've all been worried about you!"
"I'd tell you, but I promised a certain lady that I'd tell her first..." he whispered back. "How's Merry doing?"
This question brought a smile to Esmerala's lips, which Paladin interpreted as good news. "He's doing much better; his fever and headache gone, and his ears are cleared up."
"He was having problems with his ears?" Paladin crouched down to eye level with his sister.
Esmeralda yawned. Covering her mouth she nodded her assent.
"Essie, I'm sorry--I didn't know! He never said anything!"
"And he won't. He's too embarrassed of it." Seeing the dismay in her brother's face she further explained. "He's had it before. He gets it from swimming; he told me about Pervinca's swim in the stream. How is she doing?"
"Far better than her cousin!" He smiled. "You have a very grateful brother--and niece at your service!"
Esmeralda smiled at her brother, "And you have a very grateful sister at yours!"
"What do you mean?" Paladin was puzzled.
"All the love you and your family have given to my son over the years....I wouldn't know where to begin to repay you!"
"There was never any payment required!" Paladin was almost hurt that his sister would think he would ever ask for something in return for doing what he considered one of the easiest things in the world: simply being a father. It didn't matter to him that one of his "children", albeit part-time, was actually his nephew.
"I know that, and that's what makes it so hard to ask you this." She paused in her words.
"You want me to step back and let Sara get to know Merry--is that it?"
"No! Never to 'step back'! That would tear Merry's heart to pieces! He loves you so!"
"Then what would you have me do, Essie?"
"Well, if you would...I'd like for you to encourage Merry to allow Sara to get to know him. Hopefully one day he will be as close to him as he is to you right now."
Paladin thought on this for a moment. If you love something, let it go...
Esmeralda thought she saw a twinge of pain in her brother's eyes. She was surprised to hear his next words.
Paladin looked resolutely at Essie, his dearest sister, "I love Merry as I do my own son, and because I love him, I will do as you ask. Every boy needs to know his own father." Paladin replied. "But may I ask one thing?"
"What is that?"
"That Merry be allowed to continue his holiday visits here during the summers."
"Only on one condition."
Paladin wondered at his sister's request. "What would that be?"
"That Pippin be allowed to do the same!" She smiled. "He's old enough to spend time away from his mother and father, is he not?"
"Essie! You don't know what you ask!" Paladin grinned, "Pippin would be only too happy to get away from his ever-meddlesome parents; we sort of get in the way of his schemes and antics! He's a bright lad who knows his way around adults and can be a bit of a challenge at times!"
Esmeralda smiled back, "I know that! That's what makes Pippin so lovable; he's as irrepressible as his father was when he was a lad!" She took on a conspiratorial expression, "When I was a young lass, I remember a certain young lad who gave our father plenty of grief with his behavior! I believe they call it 'a parent's revenge'?" They both laughed quietly, recalling the days of their childhood together.
Paladin stood up--with a little difficulty, feeling the cartilage creek inside his knees. "Oooh! It's when I get up like this that I remember I'm not a tween anymore!" He took the blanket that had covered his younger sister before their conversation, and put it over her shoulders once more, and kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep!" Then added, "You'll need it to deal with Sara in the morning!"
