Whacking Out Ohtori
By: JurisAnnarielle
Saionji, Miki, and Juri are in the gingerbread dueling area. Miki is banging to Korn on his headphones, while Saionji and Juri duel with salamis. Angelic Creation is playing in the background. Juri is getting the best of Saionji... (which isn't much)
Juri: -has Saionji backed into the corner of the arena, says in a VERY bad French accent ((think of it.... Japanese doing a French accent?? It doesn't work!)) EN GARDE!
Saionji: FUCK OFF! -hits Juri on the head with the stick of Salami-
Juri: FUDGE PACKER!!!!! -pulls her arm back and whaps him in his arm with the salami-
Loudspeaker: We hate to interrupt this dueling song... but would the person who owns a pink Lincoln, license plate kssmiaass move their car! It's in the way of the Cheeto's delivery truck. Thank you!
Saionji: -pauses- What idiot would park their car there?
Juri: (the music starts up again) WILL YOU SHUT YOUR GOD DAMNED MOUTH A FIGHT?!
Saionji: riiight. -lunges at Juri, playing as dirty as ever-
Loudspeaker: We hate to interrupt this song...
Juri: GOD! GO AWAY!! -but stops dueling to listen-
Loudspeaker: but would the person with the bright green Chevy... license plate IMGONRUL please move your car... You are blocking the beer delivery.
Saionji: what a shame.. to block the Beer Delivery.
Miki: -takes his headphones off- WHO'S EVER CAR THAT IS HAS BETTER MOVE IT! I GOT SHORTED ON MY BOOZE LAST WEEK AND I AM NOT GOING TO MISS THEM AGAIN!
Juri: STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS MIKI! (song starts again) COME ON DAISY BOY! FIGHT!
Saionji: DAISY YOURSELF YOU BUTCHY BITCH! -lunges at Juri as she swings her salami hard, causing his wrist to snap back the wrong way- OW!!!!!!!
Juri: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CALLING ME A BUTCHY BITCH YOU CUNT DOG!
Saionji: -switches hands and TRIES to duel with her again-
Loudspeaker: Sorry to interrupt this song...
Juri: -groans- GOD DAMMIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS SHIT?! EVERY TIME I TRY TO DUEL!!!!!!!!!
Loudspeaker: Would the person with the ford truck... that has Rainbow Brite painted on the side, license plate BoyWidBo please move your car. You are blocking the school's supply of porn magazines.
Juri: -pales- blocking the porn... You mean I can't get if that son of a bitch doesn't move his pansy truck??
Saionji: -pales as well, sweating, laughs nervously- Rainbow Brite truck? -laughs- Who would own such junk?
Loudspeaker: (Wakaba's voice) SAIONJI, YOU ASSWIPE! MOVE YOUR FUCKIN' TRUCK! I WANT MY Kissers of Tomorrow MAGAZINE NOW!!!!!!!!!
Miki: -looks at Saionji- You own a Rainbow Brite truck?
Saionji: -laughs nervously- ah heh... no... she has me messed up with the wrong person... I'm-
Loudspeaker: (Wakaba's voice) BULL SHIT PANSY! MOVE YOUR CAR OR I WILL MOVE IT FOR YOU! TO THE GAY HOUSE YOU SCREWY FUCK!
Juri: -laughs- Rainbow Brite! You are an idiot for liking Rainbow Brite!
Saionji: -looks at Juri... a little pissed- Look who's talking Brite babe! -points to Juri's shirt which says Rainbow Brite-
Juri: -stops laughing- It's alright for a GIRL to like Rainbow Brite... but NOT a GUY! -pauses and reminded of why he has to move his truck- GO MOVE THAT KIDDY TRUCK OF YOURS! IF I DON'T GET I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!
Miki: Miss Juri... is for the guys... is for the girls.
Juri: I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT IS! I'M A LESBIAN REMEMBER?! SAIONJI YOU ASS MOVE YOU TRUCK!!!!!
Saionji: What about our duel?
Juri: -brings her arm back once again and swings her salami hard.. knocking Saionji's daisy off of his chest- Our Duel Is Over! MOVE YOU TRUCK!
Saionji: THAT WAS FUCKED!
Juri: YOU'RE GOING TO BE FUCKED IF YOU DON'T MOVE YOUR TRUCK!
Saionji: Then why should I move my truck?
Juri: -screams in frustration and hits Saionji VERY hard on the head-
Saionji: -falls to the floor unconscious-
Juri: DAMMIT! NOW HE CAN'T MOVE HIS GAY TRUCK! -searches Saionji's pockets for his keys- I'll just do it. -finds the keys and walks down the many steps down towards the exit of the dueling arena-
Meanwhile...
Utena: -is in the green house cutting all the buds off of the roses- (evil look) If they don't have roses.... then they don't have duels... the one that loses his rose loses the duel... Well no more roses... no more duels! (laughs evilly)
Anthy: -comes into the greenhouse and sees all the rose buds on the floor- So YOU are the reason why we have to result to other flowers during the duels.
Utena: -looks at Anthy shocked- Himemiya?? I wasn't... -pauses- OTHER FLOWERS?!
Anthy: -nods solemnly- Saionji's flower right now.. is a daisy. Juri's is a lily. Miki's is a pansy. -thinks for a moment- Touga's is a tiger lily and... I think your's is now a... carnation.
Utena: -giggles- Saionji's a daisy... Miki's a pansy and Touga's a tiger! -laughs- Calling everyone else names... but you seem to think Touga's a
Anthy: I don't think he is a tiger. I think he is a rabbit!
Utena: You think everyone is a rabbit.
Anthy: They are... all the ever want to do is have sex. Doesn't that make them rabbits?
Utena: Rabbits do it for reproductive purposes... I don't think it's just for fun...
Anthy: You seem to know a lot about this Miss Utena.
Utena: -sweatdrops and clips another rose bud- (thinks: If they are using other flowers... what am I supposed to do? Hmm... I know... get WEED KILLER!) -laughs evilly- Hey Himemiya, I am going up to the store. -runs out of the green house to town-
Teaser: Is Juri going to get her magazine? Is Utena going to find Weed Killer? Is Miki going to get his booze? And who owns the OTHER two cars? Find out in the next episode!
