"You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope with time they panic and give in."
Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.
Beyond the Shadows – Complicated
"What are you thinking about?" Misty asked from across the table.
She was confused and it was adamant on her face. There were only two main causes for her confusion, but they were enough.
Firstly there was the almost kiss, at least she was pretty sure it was an almost kiss. Her guess was as good as anyone else's. she had never really been kissed or kissed anyone before, she wanted it to be someone she really cared for and love, she wanted it to be Ash.
Secondly there was the way Ash was eating. She had known the boy for about five years and she didn't think she had ever seen him eat nearly so slow. He usually breathed his food in taking it in faster than she had ever thought was humanly possible. He loved hamburgers and he'd barely even touched the thing.
"Nothing," Ash said shaking his head.
She wasn't sure if it was to shake the thoughts away or to prove to her that it didn't matter. She decided not to press for more details, if it was really important he would tell her.
"So Ash," she said waiting for him to look up.
"Hmm," he said still not looking up.
Sure she didn't want him to meet her eye, she was too afraid of what she might see, regret maybe, hate, loathing, friendship? But she was even more afraid of what he might see in hers, the love, the adoration and most of all her heart.
She knew something was wrong, even if he wasn't telling her so she decided it was her job to try and cheer him up, like karma, getting him back for all the times he had done the same.
"What does it feel like to be the first challenger to win the kowhai badge in two years?" she asked holding the saltshaker out to him like a microphone. She did her best impression of Andréa Summers the annoying news report who always rubbed people up the wrong way and getting in peoples faces which warranted a small smile from Ash's direction.
"Good, I guess," he shrugged looking up for a second.
"Gee, Ash you could be a little less enthusiastic," she muttered sarcastically placing the saltshaker back on the table. "I haven't seen you this excited since your mom made us sit and watch paint dry for three hours."
Ash let out a light chuckle and put on a smile. She knew it was for her benefit, she could see it in his eyes that it wasn't all there, but she wasn't complaining. The laugh was real and at least now he was making the effort to at least look happy.
"That sure was a fun day," he joked. "Why'd she make us do that again?"
"Because," she told him, "somebody decided to redecorate the lounge with a lifelike drawing of himself then dragged me along with him when she found out."
"Are you trying to say that I don't look like superman?" he asked his smile not quite so forced.
"Of course not," she replied. "I'm saying that you have a better likeness to the blob and that you should leave the art-type stuff up to Tracey."
"All righty then," he said. "As long as you're not saying that I don't look like superman I'm happy."
Misty sighed exasperatedly trying to look annoyed or infuriated, she wasn't sure which she just knew that the smile plastered on her face was making her look much like either.
It was impossible not to smile when she was around Ash. He just had this way about him that would bring a smile to her face no matter what.
'Maybe he's thinking about it too,' she thought to herself almost immediately shaking her head. She couldn't quite convince herself to believe that Ash could ever feel the same. 'Its so complicated,' she thought quoting the lines of one of her favorite songs in her head. 'I'm so frustrated. I wish I could confess but think of what I'd be losing if his answer wasn't yes.'
It all reminded her of a story her sisters had sent her. Part of her tried to be rational told her that it was only her superstitious sisters trying to banish the years of bad luck in love and find their one true love as the letter promised. The rest of her got the feeling that her sisters were trying to hint at something.
It was a sweet story about a guy who was in love with his best friend his entire life but never told her. He watched her fall in love, watched her dreams come true, even watched her get married but never said a word. Then when she died someone read something from her journal, it was about him and shared the very same thoughts he had hidden all their lives.
'But then Ash could never feel that way about me,' she reasoned with herself, 'that would just be crazy. I mean I'm not even sure why he would fall in love with me. I'm stupid and ugly and mean and critical and superficial and bitchy and annoying and . . .'
"Are you going to finish them Myst?" Ash asked jarring her from her thoughts.
"Have them," Misty replied answering the real question between the lines.
She smiled as she watched him take the plate of chips and cover them with ketchup.
"And people wonder where Pikachu gets his ketchup addiction from," Misty teased.
"Its not a ketchup addiction until you ask for chips with your ketchup," Ash said throwing a few small ketchup soaked chips into his mouth. "Now tell me," he said after swallowing his food, "has Pikachu ever asked for chips? I think not."
Misty let out a laugh. "Touché," she said drawing back as though stabbed by a sword.
It was silent for a while after that, the only sounds were those around them and Ash noisily chewing his chips.
"So," Misty said as she picked up one of the unketchuped chips from the plate and waving it about animatedly before sticking it in her mouth, "where do you think Brock got to?"
Ash shrugged. He'd completely forgotten about Brock in his battle for the kowhai badge and with everything else that was going on in his head he didn't think there was any room for queries about Brock's whereabouts. Actually he was positive of it, his mind was still struggling to understand Misty's words and to get his mouth to work.
"I guess he just thought the match would last longer than it did," he replied.
"I guess," Misty said.
She didn't really care where Brock was, she knew he'd catch up to them eventually, she had only really said it because she felt the need to break the silence between herself and Ash.
But she knew the real reasons Brock wasn't there. Because she'd asked him not to. She hadn't told him not to go to the match, she wasn't cruel, she knew Ash wanted both his best friends by his side in one of the toughest matches he would encounter before the league, she'd simply asked him to give her and Ash a little time alone afterwards so she could tell him.
And she had planned on telling him, but then that was before what happened after the match and already it was too complicated for her to comprehend without throwing an 'I love you' in there for good measure.
She wanted to tell him, she wanted to every moment she was near him, every time he said her name, every time he was sad, every time he was happy, she just wanted him to know everything she felt deep inside and for him to feel the same. But she couldn't tell him, something inside her just wouldn't let her.
Maybe it was he fear of getting hurt or maybe it was just her head trying to be rational as always, trying to convince her that it was nothing more than a chemical reaction within her body and nothing else.
It wasn't doing a very good job.
~ to be continued ~
So what'd you think? Anyway I know a lot of it was just rambling about the *almost* kiss because Misty is one of those obsessive, compolsive people who have to take things apart and can't leave them alone, she's a type six personality just like me. No wait, I think it's because I'm one of those obsessive compulsive people who have to take things apart and when they can't get them back together they destroy the evidence. I'm also a compulsive liar who shows deviant if not criminal behaviour.
Anyway please review we number sixes like to be complimented on our work.
