A/N ~ OK first of all I just have to say . . . YES!! ggfan4ever, I know you aren't a coward, welcome to the world of the twisted mind games I play so well. I just knew that if I said something like that then you would respond, oh and lo and behold, in your response I got what I had been looking for all along. Constructive (maybe not is your mind but to me it was) criticism! There ya go, now wouldn't it have been easier to jut tell me why you don't like my story in the first place? Now I can improve! So thanks hun! Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, the Rory and Dean engagement will not last long, and there is a reason why it is Dean and not somebody else that I made up. And also, I'm sorry you don't like my demeanor, but that is who I am and my writing is a reflection of that. I enjoy being intelligently (I hope) cynical and sarcastic. If you don't like it then I don't understand why you would bother checking back when I update.
ALSO ~~ To everyone who was complaining about the lack of Jess, you don't have much longer to wait! While he is not in this chapter I promise he will be making his entrance soon!
Spoilers/Disclaimer ~ Who really reads this stuff? Honestly, is you feel the immense urge to know the details read the previous chapters.
Shameless Plug ~ I have other stories, all literatis, check em out!
Chapter Four : I Should Do This More Often (Lorelai POV)
Ok, honestly, this whole wedding this is fantastic.
I mean who wouldn't enjoy all of the preparations, like picking out colors and bridesmaid dresses? Or fantasizing about just how to walk down the aisle . . . Or in my case over the bridge? Or picturing the perfect wedding scene in your head only to see it unfold before you?
And cake, cannot forget the joys of cake.
Though that was a hard decision, I lost sleep whilst debating Mocha Crunch Cream vs. Raspberry, though the taste testing made it all worth it.
And everyone who has even known me is aware of the dangers that ensue when I am sleep deprived . . . Do you remember the wicked witch from Oz? Or perhaps that monotone guy with the freakish earpiece and a tendancy to be invincible and possessing an annoyingly persistent, 'screw with me and you will have your ass handed to you in a pretty basket with pink ribbons' attitude from The Matrix? Yea just picture them combined. It's never a pretty sight.
But anyway, they should really make you pay for taste testing. I mean I swear I must have put the Inn back an entire week with the five different tests I had.
A little secret though . . . I pretty much narrowed it down to those two after the second test, but Sookie's cakes are so unbelievably wonderful and heavenly that I would just say that I needed another test whenever I had a craving for massive amounts of sugar, and then only feel slightly guilty later for making her work on the samples.
Yet in the end I just couldn't choose, so now I have an extremely unique cake, one layer Mocha, and then a layer of Raspberry, Mocha, Raspberry, Mocha, Raspberry . . . and so on.
I need to stop thinking about this, its making me hungry.
Ok, what else is fantastic about a wedding? Well, it's also very relaxing, I enjoy being spoiled.
I mean for the last week I don't think I have done anything more strenuous then getting up to change the channel, or leaning forward to blow on my toenails to make them dry faster. Oh, and lifting my arm to fill the coffee cup about every ten minutes or so. How could it get any better then that?
I really should do this 'getting married' thing more often.
People say that it's supposed to be stressful, but I really don't know what they are talking about. Maybe the fact that all of the guests live within a five mile radius and the actual amount of people only amounts to about sixty is why I am so not stressed. But I really don't feel like thinking about this funny little conundrum, it will only lead to a migraine.
Believe me; concentrating on something that is not meant to be thought about in great detail will lead to intense headaches. The last time I nearly overdosed on Excedrin while trying to figure out exactly how powder and water can result in one of the world's greatest creations, otherwise known as Jell-O. Anyway, moving on.
My my my, I do love my dress.
Very very pretty, long and white, lace neckline, indescribable.
I know that this dress fitting was really supposed to be only for Paris and Rory, but I couldn't resist trying on my dress one last time before the big day. Or before tonight when everyone is sleeping and I have the time to slip out of bed and really enjoy the sight of Mrs. Luke 'Trekkie' Danes in the mirror wearing all white, whichever comes first.
Not to mention the fact that the girls practically begged for me to show it off, I mean how can I say no to those adorable college girl faces?
So here I am, standing in the dressing room, just admiring myself in the floor length mirror, thinking about Luke, smiling to myself, fantasizing about the 'I do' I've waited for my whole life-
"Lorelai!! Get your butt out here and show us that dress!
-having a heart attack induced by a vicious and sudden pounding on my dressing room door.
"Jesus you scared me!" I said laughingly as I opened the door and allowed Rory's friends to see the dress that had so far only been viewed by myself, Sookie, and Rory.
Silence.
Hmm, I wonder if this is a 'wow she looks fantastic, I want to look just like here on my wedding day' kind of silence or a 'quick, point me to the nearest bathroom because she looks so hideous I may vomit' kind of silence.
Hopefully not the latter.
"So?" I question nervously "What do you think?"
More silence.
I hate silence.
It should be against the law.
"Wow, Lorelai . . ."
Oh, so they do speak! I was beginning to wonder.
"You look spectacular! I mean it, wow. There are no words!"
I smiled widely at this, "Why thank you Heidi!" I said happily, basking in the euphoria of my impending wedding and the shower of compliments that were now befalling me.
"So are you excited?" Heidi continued.
I smiled widely to myself, one of those huge and stupid smiles that seem to always make an appearance when you are thinking about the person you love, "More then you will ever know." I said lightly.
I could see that she was about to speak again, but all of the sudden her face went completely slack, her mouth slightly ajar and a look of intense admiration on her face. Suddenly confused, I glanced at the faces of her three companions, and found that they to were wearing similar expressions. So I turned around to see what they were staring at so avidly, and my smile widened as I saw my little girl standing timidly behind me next to Paris.
Both girls were wearing identical dresses. And both looked beyond fantastic. The dressed themselves were cut a little below the knee, and since it was a spring wedding I had decided on a neutral shade for the bridesmaids, a light champagne, you know, that color that suits everybody. It took me ages to find that dress, because I needed something that would look marvelous on everybody, from darker skin tones like Paris, to the ultra fair of Rory. The neckline was low and v-necked with thin straps that cris-cross a few times over the open back, and the material was a chiffon-esque shimmering fabric that seemed as light as air.
"Wow, Rory, Paris, you guys look wonderful." I said happily "And those dresses suit each of you perfectly, an excellent choice if I do say so myself." I added.
"Thank you," Rory replied, her sentiment echoed by Paris, both speaking in that sheepish voice of someone who knows they look stunning but are too modest to acknowledge it.
And so both girls stepped to my side so we could present ourselves to the audience, the entire bride's side of the wedding party save for Sookie and Lane, who would have been there also accept for the fact that Sook had to stay at the Dragonfly to cook because a magazine columnist was coming by to review her food, and Lane had a mandatory brunch date with her family.
"So?" I asked "Do we pass inspection?"
More goddam silence.
Oh well, hopefully the looks adorning their faces are indicators, if so, we must be the most beautiful wedding party to grace this Earth, second only to Princess Diana and Gwen Stefani of course.
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Ok, I officially change my vote.
Weddings are not the best thing on this earth, oh no my friend that coveted position belongs solely to the bachelorette party . . .
And the great Long Island Iced Tea.
The Long Island Iced Tea is to a bachelorette party what cake is to a wedding
Except better, because when eating cake it would be considered odd to see orange pigs with wings jitterbugging on the dance floor to Fuel. Yet with two wonderful Iced Teas in you, what I'm now witnessing is completely normal, if not expected.
Hmmm…I do think I spy with my little eye Madonna serving Marvin Gaye a martini up at the bar, accept she's wearing something on her face, it looks somewhat like the mask Michael Jackson made Prince Michael and Paris wear that time when he took the kids to Europe.
But then again, who knows, I am just happily ensconced in the blithering world of the tipsy verging on wasted.
" . . . and so the guests will arrive at about noon, there will be kind of a cocktail hour that will be the limbo between the arrival and the ceremony, which will begin at two. Then at about four thirty we'll all head back to the Dragonfly for the reception." I tuned back in to hear Sookie informing all of the girls of the plans for the big day. And I was about to interrupt with an extraordinarily witty and probably incoherent quip, but was cut off.
"The Dragonfly? I thought the reception was going to be at Luke's!" Said Rory confusedly as she placed her own martini back on the table and proceeded to swivel it about between her fingers . . . something she always does whenever she has a bit of a buzz on.
"Yea, well, it was. . .but we weren't sure if it could hold everybody, and so we did a trial run. We promised the construction workers at the Inn that we would order two 6 foot sub sandwiches for lunch tomorrow if they agreed to come and stand inside for a few minutes so we could see if sixty people could fit comfortably, and you could barely move two inches. It was so tight that Kirk was actually lifted off his feet when Moses and Allen, the two biggest guys, tried to move, and when he was dropped down again he sustained a minor fracture to his big toe." Sookie replied, trying to hold back a smile that was threatening to come forth at the memory of the insane event.
"Dropping Kirk caused him to break his toe?" Paris questioned amazedly.
"Well when he was dropped he kind of took down a chair with him, and things went flying as well did people, and Moses kind of stepped on Kirks toe with this cowboy boots, and there was blood and whining . . . not a pleasant memory." Now she couldn't bold it back anymore, and Sookie giggled a bit as she recalled the scene of Kirk on a stretcher with his leg in an enormous sling, insisting that his entire foot was shattered.
"Poor Kirk, I never even knew that he's a construction worker." Rory mused.
"Kirk is everything, you should know this after growing up with him working at every job in town." This time I managed a response, but it must not have come out the way it sounded in my head because I was getting weird looks from the rest of the girls. Then again I could be imagining it, I know not everything I'm seeing is really there, because what would Olivia Newton John be doing in a bar with Cameron Diaz? And why on earth would Cameron be dressed as a rodeo clown?
Humm . . . blitzed now, yep, am now definitely blitzed.
Oops…It seems that its time to leave.
"Rory hunny, could you come here for a second?" I asked sweetly as I swayed a little while standing. And my very wonderful daughter obliged by walking over.
"Yes Mr. Lewis" She replied cutely, her expression showing signs of obvious amusement at my current state.
"Hey you know what, he may have been bombed out of his mind half the time, but I bet that Sinclair threw one hell of a bachelorette party." I said sweetly, "Because that is the point of these little shindigs daughter of mine. If luck has it I won't remember any of this." I said happily as she stopped in front of me.
"Closer."
She stepped forward.
"And a little closer."
Another step
"What, are your legs not functioning properly or is there a reason for the baby steps?"
And she took one final step before I slung my arm over her shoulder and smiled as she groaned in protestation, I however ignored her and said, "There we go, now be a good girl and take mommy to the car, oh, and if I suddenly get the urge to enter myself in that pole dancing contest in the strip club down the drive, turn me away from the dark side."
"I promise." She said as we struggled together out of the club and into the waiting taxis.
On the way home I grinned to myself as the others chatted away, less then one week from being Mrs. Backward Baseball Cap.
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A/N ~ For those of you who don't know, Prince Michael and Paris are Michael Jackson's kids who always wear some kind of mask or another. And for those of you who plan on bitching about that fact that Lorelai probably wouldn't get drunk in front of Rory, I know, it was an iffy choice. But just think like this ~ if you recall) at Lorelai's last Bachelorette Party she was drunk. She claimed she was 'Tipsy but just short of seeing pink elephants' and Sookie told Emily that the only thing she had consumed so far was 'about a quart of wine' and then she ordered up her Long Island Iced Tea. So add that to the fact that Lorelai and Rory are best friends and feel comfortable doing anything together and Rory is now over the legal drinking age, i just figured it wasn't that out there for her to be drunk.
