Spike was just nodding off in his chair when he heard the door creaking slowly open. He smiled, knowing it was her. "Pet, getting to be a habit, this. Can't find anything better to do at one in the afternoon?"

"Not really," was the soft, somewhat slurred answer. Spike furrowed his brow and stood up to look at her. He sniffed the air, catching the familiar scent of liquor.

"You're pissed, aren't you? Barely past morning and you're soddin' sloshed!" Spike chuckled a little, but had a very concerned look in his eyes.

Buffy smiled coyly and brought the bottle of tequila from behind her back. "Ya caught me. Sorry I started without you. You wanna join?"

Spike eyed her suspiciously, but wasn't about to pass up a chance to spend time with Buffy. "Yeah, alright. But tequila's not really my thing, love. Got my own, if you don't mind."

"By all means! Just more for me." Buffy made her way to the opening of the 'basement' of Spike's crypt. He raised his eyebrows. "What? I like it down there. It's dark and quiet. And you have more comfortable furniture down there." She started down the ladder. Spike grabbed his bourbon and followed.

"So, what's the occasion, love?" Spike was still wary of her, wondering what game she was playing at.

"Huh? Oh...I guess...life! I decided life was *so* worth living, and I wanted to celebrate with my unliving friend. Got a problem with that?" Buffy plopped down in a big red chair.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Oh, I see. A little more with the 'so sad' bit, then? 'S getting old, pet. Besides, I thought we talked this all through last night. What's with the 180?"

Buffy frowned and pouted. "Spiiiike, you're supposed to love just being in my presence. Do you really need a reason? I mean, you still love me, don't you? I can tell. I can tell by how you kissed me last night."

Spike sat down against the wall opposite Buffy. "Yeah, I still love you. Always will, I assume. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be around you once in a while when you're not depressed. Last night, for instance, was better. But this...not sure I'm in the mood."

Buffy pouted some more. "Why are you talking to me like this? You're suppose to just listen and get it."

"Oh, I get it, love. You hate your life and you come to me because I'm the only one who knows. You put on your happy face for your chums, and I get to see real Buffy. And as flattered as I should be, I know it's only because you don't care enough about me to care how this makes me feel. Last night made me think differently, but I see now how it really is. You protect them because you love them. You say you don't love them, but I think ya do. You put all the crap of your life out on me because you don't really care how it affects me. You think it doesn't kill me to see you so unhappy? You think there isn't a day that goes by that I wish I could do something to help you, to make you feel normal again? But there isn't. So yeah, I sit and listen, because it's all I *can* do. It's all you'll *let* me do. But it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it." Spike took a long pull on his bottle and stared right at Buffy.

Buffy pouted a bit more and took several small drinks on her bottle, making faces every time that made Spike smile, despite his aggravation. They both just sat in silence for a few minutes, the sloshing of the liquor the only sounds. When Buffy's bottle was empty, she stood up and walked unsteadily over to where Spike was. She grabbed his bottle just as he was about to take a drink. He gave her a look of mock anger and stood up, a bit wobbly himself. He walked over to the chair Buffy had been in and sat down. Buffy harrumphed at this and walked leisurely to the chair. She put one knee on either side of Spike's legs and sat on his lap, straddling him. He raised his eyebrows at her actions and grabbed the bottle from her.

"Ok, I think you've had enough, pet. You're doing things now that get naughty little Slayers in trouble." He took a drink and set the bottle down on the floor.

Buffy cocked her head to one side and said, "I *am* a naughty little Slayer, aren't I?"

Spike took a deep breath and slowly tried to push her off, "Ok, look, as much as this is right up my soddin' alley, I don't fancy you sobering up and making me urn sized."

Buffy would not be extricated from his lap. She clamped her legs around his thighs and held on. "You said you wanted to do something for me. To make me happy?" She started tracing her fingers up and down his chest.

Spike looked very dazed and confused. "Yeah, I do, pet. But not this. This wouldn't make you happy. I mean, hell yeah, it would make you happy, but only for a little while."

"Oh, come on, Spike. Don't tell me you haven't dreamed of this. Did you dream about me while I was gone? Did you imagine making love to me?" By now she was running one hand through his hair while exploring the landscape of his chest from underneath his shirt.

Spike gulped. "Yeah, I did. Every night I dreamt about you. Making love to you, kissing you, tasting every inch of you...but we can't. I mean...no, we can't. You don't know what you're doing. You're 3 sheets, love. Why don't you go home and sober up. I'll walk you, so long as you don't mind the sewers."

"Don't wanna go home. Wanna stay here. Wanna do this." Buffy took off her shirt, slowly, and threw it to the side. She took one of Spike's hands and placed it on her breast, squeezing his hand there. Spike closed his eyes and tried to remove his hand. Buffy's slayer strength was not diminished by the drink, he deduced. Buffy put her hand behind Spike's neck and pulled him to her.

"You dream about tasting me? Do you dream about tasting my body or my blood?" She now had Spike's face pulled into her neck, where he couldn't resist the urge to give her a little lick.

"Both," he rasped.

Buffy pulled his head back and held his face. "Spike, I want you. I want you to make love to me. I know you think that I'm just drunk, but I really want this. I've wanted it for a while. I just didn't know how to tell you, and I knew if I had a little to drink I wouldn't have any problem saying it. I almost said it last night, but I couldn't. So.here I am. Asking you for help, to make me happy. You said you would help me. I want us both to be happy, Spike."

"Are you sure, pet? You have to be sure."

"I am. I've never been more sure of anything." Buffy leaned down and took Spike's lips in a fierce kiss.

**

R&R please!