They had all expected Buffy to rest as soon as they got her home, but she
refused. Instead, she sat with them in the living room, silent for a long
time. None of them dared to speak, all of them unsure of what they would
say. Buffy had expected to want to go to bed also, but she found herself on
edge, her entire body buzzing with some unexplained energy. She felt like
something big was going to happen, and she wanted to be there when it did.
She had a sneaking suspicion she knew what that something big was. The
silence prevailed until Giles came in.
"Oh, Buffy. I'd have figured you'd be resting." Giles put up his coat and then joined the gang in the living room.
Buffy nodded. "Me too. Not very tired though."
"Yes, well then.....perhaps we should.....are you up for discussing what happened?" Giles tried to be gentle, but firm. This was something that *would* be discussed, whether his Slayer wanted to or not.
Buffy shrugged and gave a little nod. That was the greenlight for everyone. They were upon her at once.
"Oh, God, Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to do this.....it wasn't supposed to be like this," Willow cried, kneeling in front of Buffy. The others were surrounding her as well.
"No, it wasn't just Willow, we all did it. Well, not Giles....."
"We just thought.....we're so sorry, Buff."
"If we had known, you have to believe we'd never have done it."
"We love you, Buffy. We love you so much."
Buffy looked at her friends around her, so repentant and pained for her. And like a dam bursting, she felt it all rushing back to her. All the love, friendship, and respect that she had held for her friends and Watcher for 6 years washed over her. And for the first time since she returned, Buffy cried in front of her friends. All at once, she felt so heartbroken over her friends pain and ecstatic for the return of emotion.
"Guys, ok, come on. It's ok. I mean it. It's not going to be easy, but it'll be ok. We'll fix it. We always do, right?" Buffy was smiling through her tears, trying to cheer up her friends. The irony of the situation was not lost on her.
Slowly, the tears stopped and everyone returned to their seats. Giles had hung back, watching the scene with something akin to happiness and confusion. He knew something big had happened with his Slayer today. And even if he couldn't explain it, he knew things were going to get better for her. Slowly better, but better nonetheless.
After a few moments of silence with only the occasional sniffing to be heard, Buffy realized something. "Giles, what kept you?"
Giles cleared his throat, not wanting to lie to Buffy, but unwilling to remind her of what had transpired earlier. But Giles knew that honesty would have to be the prevailing policy if they were going to make things better for Buffy. "I, ah, well.....I dropped in on Spike for a moment. To, well.....to thank him for what he's done for you."
Xander shook his head and as he was about to speak, Buffy cut him off with a gesture. She stood up before her friends. "Look, guys. I want everything out in the open, ok? You need to know that I've been miserable since I got back. And you need to know that Spike was the only person I felt I could go to, to talk. I realize that hurts you guys, but I can't help how I felt. I didn't want to talk to you, because I blamed you. And that's not something that I can just wipe clean, ya know? Things will be better, I promise, but they're not going to be peachy-keen over night. And you all, especially you, Xander, are going to have to accept that Spike is my friend. At least I hope he still is. And I hope you can all give him a little bit of respect, because he's earned at least that. I'm not asking you to like him, but I want you to accept that I do. I like him, and he's been my only friend since I got back. And now I have you guys again, but I'm not going to drop him, because I still want him around."
Xander stood up, not to be stopped this time. "Buffy, you know he's still in love with you. You know hanging around him will only encourage him. And a Spike with hope is not of the good."
Buffy looked harshly at Xander. "Gee, Xander, when you were in love with me all through high school, maybe I should have stopped being your friend. Hope I didn't encourage you too much by being nice to you." Xander sat down sheepishly. "Yeah, I know about your crush. Hard not to. I know about alot of stuff I'd rather not. I know you guys are scared about me being close to another vampire. I know Xander hated Angel before he even had a reason to. I know Willow was all for the kicking of Angel's ass, apparently, but she still restored his soul. That one's always confused me." Buffy looked pointedly at Xander who had his head in his hands. Willow was looking at him confused. "And I know that Giles has more reason than anyone here to be worried, but he's been respectful to Spike, even appreciative. He realizes Spike is not Angel. All I'm asking is that the rest of you realize that too. The past is the past. The only way I can get my life together is to put it all behind me. I know Spike has done some evil things, but right now he's being decent, and that's more than I ever expected from him. I'm just focusing on the here and now, and maybe later I can think about the future. I'm going to need everyone's help with this. Now what's gone on between Spike and I is private. I can assure you he is just my friend. A friend whom I've hurt beyond belief. I've got to think of a way to make it up to him before I can face him again. But right now, I just want to enjoy being in the presence of my loving, *understanding*, friends." At that, she gave Xander a light smack on the head. He looked up at Buffy, who was giving him a little smile.
Xander stood up. "Sorry, Buff. I have no right to judge anything you do. I haven't been in your shoes, I don't know what you're going through. No, I don't like Spike, but if you like having him around, I can deal." Buffy gave Xander a big hug, which he reciprocated. "Ah, ok, I need to call Anya. She's still at the shop, she doesn't know anything that's gone on here. Gotta fill her in."
Buffy smiled as Willow and Tara came in for a hug of their own. Willow whispered, "I never said anything about kicking Angel's ass, you know....."
Buffy nodded. "I figured that out pretty quickly. Xander was just....being Xander I guess. Or at least being 'Xander when it comes to Angel'.....Like I said, doesn't matter now. It's all in the past."
Giles moved toward Buffy and took off his glasses. "Buffy, I'm concerned--"
"Oh good grief, Giles! Stop being so concerned! Be happy! Everything is good, or will be. We'll fix it, we're the Scoobies!" Buffy sounded a bit exasperated.
Giles smiled, "Um, yes, well, I was actually going to say that I'm concerned about your wrist. Shouldn't we tend it properly?"
Buffy looked down at her arm. She had re-wrapped Spike's shirt around it while they were walking her home. She slowly unwrapped it to check the damage. It was still red, raw, and somewhat gaping, but Slayer healing had kicked in pretty efficiently. The bleeding had long since stopped, but it still looked ripe for infection.
"Willow, Tara, perhaps you girls could take Buffy upstairs and look after that. I'm afraid I'm not very good when it comes to.....open wounds."
Tara and Willow nodded simultaneously and Buffy allowed herself to be led upstairs.
Giles was standing in the living room when Xander entered. "Where go girls? Me like girls."
Giles smiled at Xander's poor attempt at humor. "Xander, I wanted to discuss something with you."
"Uh oh, Serious Giles. I don't think I like him."
"Yes, well, regardless.....It's very important that you respect Buffy's wishes when it comes to Spike. I'm the last person to argue for a Slayer/vampire friendship, but I've come to learn that there are exceptions to every rule. I fear that if you continue to disparage him in front of her, you'll only succeed in driving her further away. I'm sure that's not what you want."
"No, of course not. I just.....I'm having a hard time getting used to the idea that she wants him around. That she *likes* him around."
Giles looked at him coldly. "Yes, and I'm sure you didn't *like* him around when he chopped off the head of the Malfot demon who was about to devour you last month. He saved your life, Xander. All of our lives, to be precise. It's a courtesy that I'm ashamed to say I don't think you would extend to him."
Xander sighed, "It's not like I want him dead. I'd help him out in a fight. It's just....it's Buffy. She doesn't always have the best judgment when it comes to guys."
Giles considered this. "Well, I'd say she's not entirely daft when it comes to choosing what men she wants by her side. You and I have lasted quite a while."
Xander smiled and patted Giles on the back. "Yes, but we are a rare breed, G-man."
Giles raised an eyebrow at Xander. "Indeed."
"Oh, Buffy. I'd have figured you'd be resting." Giles put up his coat and then joined the gang in the living room.
Buffy nodded. "Me too. Not very tired though."
"Yes, well then.....perhaps we should.....are you up for discussing what happened?" Giles tried to be gentle, but firm. This was something that *would* be discussed, whether his Slayer wanted to or not.
Buffy shrugged and gave a little nod. That was the greenlight for everyone. They were upon her at once.
"Oh, God, Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to do this.....it wasn't supposed to be like this," Willow cried, kneeling in front of Buffy. The others were surrounding her as well.
"No, it wasn't just Willow, we all did it. Well, not Giles....."
"We just thought.....we're so sorry, Buff."
"If we had known, you have to believe we'd never have done it."
"We love you, Buffy. We love you so much."
Buffy looked at her friends around her, so repentant and pained for her. And like a dam bursting, she felt it all rushing back to her. All the love, friendship, and respect that she had held for her friends and Watcher for 6 years washed over her. And for the first time since she returned, Buffy cried in front of her friends. All at once, she felt so heartbroken over her friends pain and ecstatic for the return of emotion.
"Guys, ok, come on. It's ok. I mean it. It's not going to be easy, but it'll be ok. We'll fix it. We always do, right?" Buffy was smiling through her tears, trying to cheer up her friends. The irony of the situation was not lost on her.
Slowly, the tears stopped and everyone returned to their seats. Giles had hung back, watching the scene with something akin to happiness and confusion. He knew something big had happened with his Slayer today. And even if he couldn't explain it, he knew things were going to get better for her. Slowly better, but better nonetheless.
After a few moments of silence with only the occasional sniffing to be heard, Buffy realized something. "Giles, what kept you?"
Giles cleared his throat, not wanting to lie to Buffy, but unwilling to remind her of what had transpired earlier. But Giles knew that honesty would have to be the prevailing policy if they were going to make things better for Buffy. "I, ah, well.....I dropped in on Spike for a moment. To, well.....to thank him for what he's done for you."
Xander shook his head and as he was about to speak, Buffy cut him off with a gesture. She stood up before her friends. "Look, guys. I want everything out in the open, ok? You need to know that I've been miserable since I got back. And you need to know that Spike was the only person I felt I could go to, to talk. I realize that hurts you guys, but I can't help how I felt. I didn't want to talk to you, because I blamed you. And that's not something that I can just wipe clean, ya know? Things will be better, I promise, but they're not going to be peachy-keen over night. And you all, especially you, Xander, are going to have to accept that Spike is my friend. At least I hope he still is. And I hope you can all give him a little bit of respect, because he's earned at least that. I'm not asking you to like him, but I want you to accept that I do. I like him, and he's been my only friend since I got back. And now I have you guys again, but I'm not going to drop him, because I still want him around."
Xander stood up, not to be stopped this time. "Buffy, you know he's still in love with you. You know hanging around him will only encourage him. And a Spike with hope is not of the good."
Buffy looked harshly at Xander. "Gee, Xander, when you were in love with me all through high school, maybe I should have stopped being your friend. Hope I didn't encourage you too much by being nice to you." Xander sat down sheepishly. "Yeah, I know about your crush. Hard not to. I know about alot of stuff I'd rather not. I know you guys are scared about me being close to another vampire. I know Xander hated Angel before he even had a reason to. I know Willow was all for the kicking of Angel's ass, apparently, but she still restored his soul. That one's always confused me." Buffy looked pointedly at Xander who had his head in his hands. Willow was looking at him confused. "And I know that Giles has more reason than anyone here to be worried, but he's been respectful to Spike, even appreciative. He realizes Spike is not Angel. All I'm asking is that the rest of you realize that too. The past is the past. The only way I can get my life together is to put it all behind me. I know Spike has done some evil things, but right now he's being decent, and that's more than I ever expected from him. I'm just focusing on the here and now, and maybe later I can think about the future. I'm going to need everyone's help with this. Now what's gone on between Spike and I is private. I can assure you he is just my friend. A friend whom I've hurt beyond belief. I've got to think of a way to make it up to him before I can face him again. But right now, I just want to enjoy being in the presence of my loving, *understanding*, friends." At that, she gave Xander a light smack on the head. He looked up at Buffy, who was giving him a little smile.
Xander stood up. "Sorry, Buff. I have no right to judge anything you do. I haven't been in your shoes, I don't know what you're going through. No, I don't like Spike, but if you like having him around, I can deal." Buffy gave Xander a big hug, which he reciprocated. "Ah, ok, I need to call Anya. She's still at the shop, she doesn't know anything that's gone on here. Gotta fill her in."
Buffy smiled as Willow and Tara came in for a hug of their own. Willow whispered, "I never said anything about kicking Angel's ass, you know....."
Buffy nodded. "I figured that out pretty quickly. Xander was just....being Xander I guess. Or at least being 'Xander when it comes to Angel'.....Like I said, doesn't matter now. It's all in the past."
Giles moved toward Buffy and took off his glasses. "Buffy, I'm concerned--"
"Oh good grief, Giles! Stop being so concerned! Be happy! Everything is good, or will be. We'll fix it, we're the Scoobies!" Buffy sounded a bit exasperated.
Giles smiled, "Um, yes, well, I was actually going to say that I'm concerned about your wrist. Shouldn't we tend it properly?"
Buffy looked down at her arm. She had re-wrapped Spike's shirt around it while they were walking her home. She slowly unwrapped it to check the damage. It was still red, raw, and somewhat gaping, but Slayer healing had kicked in pretty efficiently. The bleeding had long since stopped, but it still looked ripe for infection.
"Willow, Tara, perhaps you girls could take Buffy upstairs and look after that. I'm afraid I'm not very good when it comes to.....open wounds."
Tara and Willow nodded simultaneously and Buffy allowed herself to be led upstairs.
Giles was standing in the living room when Xander entered. "Where go girls? Me like girls."
Giles smiled at Xander's poor attempt at humor. "Xander, I wanted to discuss something with you."
"Uh oh, Serious Giles. I don't think I like him."
"Yes, well, regardless.....It's very important that you respect Buffy's wishes when it comes to Spike. I'm the last person to argue for a Slayer/vampire friendship, but I've come to learn that there are exceptions to every rule. I fear that if you continue to disparage him in front of her, you'll only succeed in driving her further away. I'm sure that's not what you want."
"No, of course not. I just.....I'm having a hard time getting used to the idea that she wants him around. That she *likes* him around."
Giles looked at him coldly. "Yes, and I'm sure you didn't *like* him around when he chopped off the head of the Malfot demon who was about to devour you last month. He saved your life, Xander. All of our lives, to be precise. It's a courtesy that I'm ashamed to say I don't think you would extend to him."
Xander sighed, "It's not like I want him dead. I'd help him out in a fight. It's just....it's Buffy. She doesn't always have the best judgment when it comes to guys."
Giles considered this. "Well, I'd say she's not entirely daft when it comes to choosing what men she wants by her side. You and I have lasted quite a while."
Xander smiled and patted Giles on the back. "Yes, but we are a rare breed, G-man."
Giles raised an eyebrow at Xander. "Indeed."
