Interview with Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, 3:30 pm March 17th, on his
tackily decorated veranda.
FIVE: Thank you for this interview, professor. I'm glad you could find the time during your busy schedule.
GILDEROY: Not at all! Although I'm usually a VERY busy-
FIVE: Cut the chatter bitch, how'd you do it?
GILDEROY: Beg pardon?
FIVE: How'd you manage to find so many wizards to dupe and steal their fame?
GILDEROY: I...I haven't the faintest idea-
FIVE: I KNOW you don't. Everyone knows it. That's why it's so obvious you're a fraud. What I want to know is how you managed to find so many powerful people to steal the glory from, without anybody finding out!
GILDEROY: Get off my veranda this instant! You're upsetting the rhododendrons!
FIVE: I mean, finding people who did famous things and taking their memories away, right? How'd you find out about these people, unless they were famous in the first place? We're talking taking away the memories of not only the people performing the deed, but EVERYBODY who heard about it!
GILDEROY: Shut up!
FIVE: Reporters, journalists, neighbors, friends, eye-witnesses...holy bat- sammiches, man, it'd be more cost-effective to just kill the monsters yourself!
GILDEROY: That's it, I'm leaving! Stay on the veranda all day, if you like! And I'm taking the tea sandwiches with me!!
FIVE: Holy crap, dude, you would've had to wipe out an average of 300+ people for every coverup involved! What the hell is your problem?
GILDEROY: [slams door]
FIVE: God, what a whacko.
[This interview will continue as soon as Five manages to pry the front door lock apart with her teeth.]
FIVE: Thank you for this interview, professor. I'm glad you could find the time during your busy schedule.
GILDEROY: Not at all! Although I'm usually a VERY busy-
FIVE: Cut the chatter bitch, how'd you do it?
GILDEROY: Beg pardon?
FIVE: How'd you manage to find so many wizards to dupe and steal their fame?
GILDEROY: I...I haven't the faintest idea-
FIVE: I KNOW you don't. Everyone knows it. That's why it's so obvious you're a fraud. What I want to know is how you managed to find so many powerful people to steal the glory from, without anybody finding out!
GILDEROY: Get off my veranda this instant! You're upsetting the rhododendrons!
FIVE: I mean, finding people who did famous things and taking their memories away, right? How'd you find out about these people, unless they were famous in the first place? We're talking taking away the memories of not only the people performing the deed, but EVERYBODY who heard about it!
GILDEROY: Shut up!
FIVE: Reporters, journalists, neighbors, friends, eye-witnesses...holy bat- sammiches, man, it'd be more cost-effective to just kill the monsters yourself!
GILDEROY: That's it, I'm leaving! Stay on the veranda all day, if you like! And I'm taking the tea sandwiches with me!!
FIVE: Holy crap, dude, you would've had to wipe out an average of 300+ people for every coverup involved! What the hell is your problem?
GILDEROY: [slams door]
FIVE: God, what a whacko.
[This interview will continue as soon as Five manages to pry the front door lock apart with her teeth.]
