Spike stiffened. "What about the bleedin' chip?"
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Why don't *you* tell *me*?"
Spike thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Ok. A couple years ago, a drop dead gorgeous vamp returned to Sunnydale set on tasting the Slayer's blood. But before he could fulfill his mission, some GI Joes zapped him with a taser and locked him up. Then they shoved a microchip in his head that didn't let him hurt anyone. And before too long-"
"Spike!" Buffy interrupted. "I'm serious."
Spike shrugged again. "Ok, so deep down said sexy vamp didn't really want to kill the Slayer. Apparently he was subconsciously in love with her. But regardless-" He was cut off with jab to his nose. "Oww, what the bloody fuck was that for?!"
Buffy was glaring at him. "I'm all on this whole new honesty kick, so let's get to it, ok?"
"Hey, you asked, I'm telling. Frankly, don't know why you're asking. You know as well as I do about the chip. Probably better, after being with Captain America all that time." She slugged him again in the face. "Bloody hell! What are you doing?" An uppercut to the chin. "Stop it!" Right cross. "Slayer! What the hell has gotten into you?!" Left hook. Spike vamped. "I mean it, knock it off or you'll be sorry." This is what Buffy was waiting for. A hard blow to his stomach and a left to his face took him to his knees. Almost instantaneously, he flew up with a backhand to Buffy.
Her hand flew to her face almost on instinct. Spike immediately lost his game face. They stood there staring at each other for a moment. Buffy returned to the headstone she had been sitting on. "Now...tell me about the chip."
Spike hung his head. "How did you know?"
Buffy shook her head. "First you answer my questions, then I'll answer yours."
Spike sighed and sat on the ground in front of her. He ran his hands through his hair. "Don't know how it happened. Just stopped working one day. I had gotten pretty drunk one night, which wasn't unusual..picked a fight. Bloke turned out to be human, but it didn't hurt when I hit him. Took out him and a few of his mates. That's how I found out. For all I know, it might start working tomorrow. Or maybe if you kick me in the head, it'll jar it back where it should be. I don't know. Maybe it's rottin' my brain all to mush or something." Spike had his head in his hands, refusing to look at Buffy.
"Have you...fed? Since it stopped working, I mean?" Spike could hear the apprehension in her voice.
Spike raised his head to look at her for a moment, then put his head back down. It was all the answer Buffy needed. She closed her eyes to keep the tears from coming. "Spike...you need to leave town. I don't want to stake you, but you know I'll have to. If you're killing in my town...I don't care who you are, I can't allow it. I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't like this...you...mean a lot to me. Please don't make me...do my job."
Buffy got up to leave, but heard him whisper. "It was only once...not that it makes a difference to you." She sat down again.
"What do you mean, only once? You telling me you were able to kill just one person and then stop yourself? Sorry, Spike, I don't think even you have that much self control. You never needed self control before anyway..."
Spike shook his head. "No, I really never did...Look, first few days after I found out...I hunted...a lot. I stalked women into dark alleys...it felt good. To be a hunter again. But I could never bring myself to approach them. Something...I don't know, I was scared. Scared to do it, scared that I'd forgotten how, scared that maybe the chip would kick in again, but mostly...scared of what you'd think. I know, you were gone, shouldn't matter. But anyway, one day I'd gotten in another fight. Down at that demon bar just outside of town. Was all vamped, having some balls-out fun, God that was a good fight. Anyway, some little chit saw that, was rightly impressed with me. Turns out she was a...groupie of sorts. Kinda like your soldier boy. Offered me $20 to bite her. Running on pure adrenaline and booze, I was...so I did it. Figured, free meal, easy money. But when I did it...soon as the blood hit my mouth...it was all you. In my head, in my ears, all I could think and hear was you. When I was holding her, biting her...it melted away until it was me holding you up on that tower. The way you looked at me, like a man. Not a monster, then. I was a man. Never felt more like it. I heard the words you said to me, felt you in my arms. And I knew...knew I'd never be able to feed on anyone. Even a willing someone, like that girl. And I didn't, not until...today."
A few tears trickled down Buffy's face, but she wiped them away quickly. "Is it hard? Knowing you can, but not doing it?"
"I can't, don't you see? I mean, physically I can, but I can't, not really. Hey, if the memory of you was enough to keep me from it, you think the flesh and blood Buffy is going to have less effect? I guess sometimes it's rough. Now that I can be a vampire again...I don't want to. And I'll never be a man, not really. And after a couple of years *not* biting people, it's not that hard to do. I mean, I got out of the habit a long time ago. I guess it's like conditioning. If I can just pretend the chip is still working, it's easier. But like I said, even if the chip doesn't zap me here, you sure as hell do." He tapped his head with a chuckle.
Buffy got up from her seat and sat next to him on the ground. "Yeah, but still...all that bloodlust. Can't be that easy for a vampire to give up."
"Sure, still got the bloodlust. But I got pig's blood for that, don't I? And I got the demon population to help out with my homicidal tendencies...though I'll be honest with you, a human picks on me, I'm not gonna back down. 'S one part of my nature I'm not going to suppress. I'll not refuse a fight from anyone nowadays."
"Oh, like Xander?"
Spike chuckled, "The whelp would hardly be a satisfying defeat. Besides, you think the Scoobies wouldn't stake me good and proper if they found out I could hurt humans again? And I doubt they'd believe that I don't. And anyway, I wanted to be able to look after them, like you asked. Couldn't very well do that if they staked me or ran me out of town, now could I?"
Buffy shook her head. "Guess not."
"So, now my question. How'd you find out?"
"Um, well...in your duster...there was this, um..."
"Bloody hell, my journal...can't believe I left that in there."
"Yeah, I, uh, I sorta read some of it. Sorry, curiosity got the best of me."
Spke shrugged, "'S ok. Most of it was to or about you anyway. You must think I'm a right soddin' git now..."
"Well, I might...if I knew what that meant..." Buffy laughed.
"I'm a ponce." Buffy frowned. Spike sighed. "A bleedin' softie. I bawled like a big girl, ok? And spewed out crap in that journal that just proves how much of a Slayer's lap dog I really am. Not even remotely Big or Bad anymore...pathetic."
"You're not pathetic, Spike. That stuff you wrote...it was sweet. It was nice to read, especially when I was feeling so alone. And I didn't read it all, just so you know. I kinda stopped when I got to the chip part."
"When was this? Today?"
"No, it was a couple of days ago."
"And you're just *now* confronting me about it? What kind of Slayer are you? I could have murdered half of Sunnydale by now!"
"I couldn't believe that, Spike. Not after how you treated me. How you made me feel so loved and wanted. I couldn't see a killer in you. At least not anymore. But I still had to know for sure. I didn't want to get...closer to you and find out too late my trust was misplaced. I've already killed someone I care about. I don't want to do it again."
Spike nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Spike cleared his throat. "So, how's this honesty thing working out for you?"
Buffy chuckled and looked up at the stars. "Well, I'm a Slayer sitting in a graveyard having a heart-to-heart with my once mortal enemy whom I've seen naked, been bitten by, and who saved my life all in the course of an hour. I'd say it's working out better than expected really..."
Spike laughed and laid back, his arms behind his head. "So, that naked part...see anything you fancy?"
Buffy laid back beside him and elbowed him in the ribs. "Oh, wouldn't you like to know..." Spike raised an eyebrow and gave her a sideways glance as they both enjoyed the night sky in comfortable silence.
**
R&R por favor!
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Why don't *you* tell *me*?"
Spike thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Ok. A couple years ago, a drop dead gorgeous vamp returned to Sunnydale set on tasting the Slayer's blood. But before he could fulfill his mission, some GI Joes zapped him with a taser and locked him up. Then they shoved a microchip in his head that didn't let him hurt anyone. And before too long-"
"Spike!" Buffy interrupted. "I'm serious."
Spike shrugged again. "Ok, so deep down said sexy vamp didn't really want to kill the Slayer. Apparently he was subconsciously in love with her. But regardless-" He was cut off with jab to his nose. "Oww, what the bloody fuck was that for?!"
Buffy was glaring at him. "I'm all on this whole new honesty kick, so let's get to it, ok?"
"Hey, you asked, I'm telling. Frankly, don't know why you're asking. You know as well as I do about the chip. Probably better, after being with Captain America all that time." She slugged him again in the face. "Bloody hell! What are you doing?" An uppercut to the chin. "Stop it!" Right cross. "Slayer! What the hell has gotten into you?!" Left hook. Spike vamped. "I mean it, knock it off or you'll be sorry." This is what Buffy was waiting for. A hard blow to his stomach and a left to his face took him to his knees. Almost instantaneously, he flew up with a backhand to Buffy.
Her hand flew to her face almost on instinct. Spike immediately lost his game face. They stood there staring at each other for a moment. Buffy returned to the headstone she had been sitting on. "Now...tell me about the chip."
Spike hung his head. "How did you know?"
Buffy shook her head. "First you answer my questions, then I'll answer yours."
Spike sighed and sat on the ground in front of her. He ran his hands through his hair. "Don't know how it happened. Just stopped working one day. I had gotten pretty drunk one night, which wasn't unusual..picked a fight. Bloke turned out to be human, but it didn't hurt when I hit him. Took out him and a few of his mates. That's how I found out. For all I know, it might start working tomorrow. Or maybe if you kick me in the head, it'll jar it back where it should be. I don't know. Maybe it's rottin' my brain all to mush or something." Spike had his head in his hands, refusing to look at Buffy.
"Have you...fed? Since it stopped working, I mean?" Spike could hear the apprehension in her voice.
Spike raised his head to look at her for a moment, then put his head back down. It was all the answer Buffy needed. She closed her eyes to keep the tears from coming. "Spike...you need to leave town. I don't want to stake you, but you know I'll have to. If you're killing in my town...I don't care who you are, I can't allow it. I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't like this...you...mean a lot to me. Please don't make me...do my job."
Buffy got up to leave, but heard him whisper. "It was only once...not that it makes a difference to you." She sat down again.
"What do you mean, only once? You telling me you were able to kill just one person and then stop yourself? Sorry, Spike, I don't think even you have that much self control. You never needed self control before anyway..."
Spike shook his head. "No, I really never did...Look, first few days after I found out...I hunted...a lot. I stalked women into dark alleys...it felt good. To be a hunter again. But I could never bring myself to approach them. Something...I don't know, I was scared. Scared to do it, scared that I'd forgotten how, scared that maybe the chip would kick in again, but mostly...scared of what you'd think. I know, you were gone, shouldn't matter. But anyway, one day I'd gotten in another fight. Down at that demon bar just outside of town. Was all vamped, having some balls-out fun, God that was a good fight. Anyway, some little chit saw that, was rightly impressed with me. Turns out she was a...groupie of sorts. Kinda like your soldier boy. Offered me $20 to bite her. Running on pure adrenaline and booze, I was...so I did it. Figured, free meal, easy money. But when I did it...soon as the blood hit my mouth...it was all you. In my head, in my ears, all I could think and hear was you. When I was holding her, biting her...it melted away until it was me holding you up on that tower. The way you looked at me, like a man. Not a monster, then. I was a man. Never felt more like it. I heard the words you said to me, felt you in my arms. And I knew...knew I'd never be able to feed on anyone. Even a willing someone, like that girl. And I didn't, not until...today."
A few tears trickled down Buffy's face, but she wiped them away quickly. "Is it hard? Knowing you can, but not doing it?"
"I can't, don't you see? I mean, physically I can, but I can't, not really. Hey, if the memory of you was enough to keep me from it, you think the flesh and blood Buffy is going to have less effect? I guess sometimes it's rough. Now that I can be a vampire again...I don't want to. And I'll never be a man, not really. And after a couple of years *not* biting people, it's not that hard to do. I mean, I got out of the habit a long time ago. I guess it's like conditioning. If I can just pretend the chip is still working, it's easier. But like I said, even if the chip doesn't zap me here, you sure as hell do." He tapped his head with a chuckle.
Buffy got up from her seat and sat next to him on the ground. "Yeah, but still...all that bloodlust. Can't be that easy for a vampire to give up."
"Sure, still got the bloodlust. But I got pig's blood for that, don't I? And I got the demon population to help out with my homicidal tendencies...though I'll be honest with you, a human picks on me, I'm not gonna back down. 'S one part of my nature I'm not going to suppress. I'll not refuse a fight from anyone nowadays."
"Oh, like Xander?"
Spike chuckled, "The whelp would hardly be a satisfying defeat. Besides, you think the Scoobies wouldn't stake me good and proper if they found out I could hurt humans again? And I doubt they'd believe that I don't. And anyway, I wanted to be able to look after them, like you asked. Couldn't very well do that if they staked me or ran me out of town, now could I?"
Buffy shook her head. "Guess not."
"So, now my question. How'd you find out?"
"Um, well...in your duster...there was this, um..."
"Bloody hell, my journal...can't believe I left that in there."
"Yeah, I, uh, I sorta read some of it. Sorry, curiosity got the best of me."
Spke shrugged, "'S ok. Most of it was to or about you anyway. You must think I'm a right soddin' git now..."
"Well, I might...if I knew what that meant..." Buffy laughed.
"I'm a ponce." Buffy frowned. Spike sighed. "A bleedin' softie. I bawled like a big girl, ok? And spewed out crap in that journal that just proves how much of a Slayer's lap dog I really am. Not even remotely Big or Bad anymore...pathetic."
"You're not pathetic, Spike. That stuff you wrote...it was sweet. It was nice to read, especially when I was feeling so alone. And I didn't read it all, just so you know. I kinda stopped when I got to the chip part."
"When was this? Today?"
"No, it was a couple of days ago."
"And you're just *now* confronting me about it? What kind of Slayer are you? I could have murdered half of Sunnydale by now!"
"I couldn't believe that, Spike. Not after how you treated me. How you made me feel so loved and wanted. I couldn't see a killer in you. At least not anymore. But I still had to know for sure. I didn't want to get...closer to you and find out too late my trust was misplaced. I've already killed someone I care about. I don't want to do it again."
Spike nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Spike cleared his throat. "So, how's this honesty thing working out for you?"
Buffy chuckled and looked up at the stars. "Well, I'm a Slayer sitting in a graveyard having a heart-to-heart with my once mortal enemy whom I've seen naked, been bitten by, and who saved my life all in the course of an hour. I'd say it's working out better than expected really..."
Spike laughed and laid back, his arms behind his head. "So, that naked part...see anything you fancy?"
Buffy laid back beside him and elbowed him in the ribs. "Oh, wouldn't you like to know..." Spike raised an eyebrow and gave her a sideways glance as they both enjoyed the night sky in comfortable silence.
**
R&R por favor!
