By the time they reached the Bronze, Buffy's mood had not brightened. Xander tried all the best 'dead' jokes he could think of, but to no avail. As soon as they walked in, she spotted him. And he sensed her. He was slumped at the bar and when he saw her he frowned and looked away. Buffy's face got even gloomier, if that was possible. The rest of the gang didn't notice Spike, and Buffy didn't mention him.

"Come on, ladies. Let the man of the group stalk a suitable table, so that you might sit and partake of it's sturdiness. Oh, there's one. Not too close to the speakers." They all headed over and took seats around a small table.

"So, Buffy, shall we go test that groove thang of yours? See if it's in proper working order?!" Willow beamed. Buffy nodded mutely.

"Buff, what's up? First you were all 'go Bronze', but now you're all...'blah...Bronze'. I thought this was what you wanted. Getting busy with the happy. Cuz, you haven't really had much recently.."

Buffy looked up at Xander, then around the table at the curious faces of her friends. "I *do* want to be happy. You guys understand that, don't you?" Hesitant nods all around. "And *you* want me to be happy too, don't you?" Nods again, more vigorously. Buffy took a deep breath. "Good, because there is something that would make me very happy. Something I'm not sure you guys will understand or...support. But if there's one thing I've learned recently, it's I have to be honest with you guys. You guys will always love me, no matter what. I know that."

Willow frowned a bit. "Of course we will, Buffy..What's this all about anyway?"

Buffy stood up. "You'll find out very soon." She started off toward the bar.

"Uh, where ya going?" Xander called.

"To follow my bliss!" Buffy called back. She snaked her way through the dance floor to the bar. She turned to look at her friends, but they were hidden by the writhing couples. 'Probably for the best right now.'

She took a deep breath and reached out her hand to tap Spike on the shoulder. Before she could, he said, "'S not where the knife is, ya know. If you're here to twist it some more, I mean..."

"Ok, I totally deserved that." Buffy sat on the stool next to him.

"Pfft...ya think so? What do you want? Wanna go outside for a little make out session where your friends can't see us?" He gave her a cold glare.

"No, I came to apologize." She put her hand on his arm. He pulled it away from her.

"Don't need your bleedin' apologies, pet. Need to be alone. Need to finish that bottle of bourbon on that shelf. Need to find a different bar. But I don't need your 'sorrys'."

"Fine. Why did I think this was going to be easy?" Buffy grabbed Spike's arm and pulled him off the stool.

"What the bloody fuck you think you're doin'? I'm here, minding my own business. I didn't ask you and your little crew to show up. Let a guy get drunk in peace, Slayer." Buffy bristled at how cold he said 'slayer.'

She shook her head. "Sorry, not this time. I messed this up and I'm going to fix it. Now." She dragged him through the dance floor. Spike tried to pull away, but he was a tad bit disoriented and her strength was no match for his lack of coordination.

When they reached the table, the Scoobies gawked at Spike. Spike gawked at Buffy. Buffy took yet another deep breath.

"Ok, guys. I need to do this. I made a big mistake tonight with Spike. Because of you. Not that it's your fault, It's mine. Because I didn't have faith in you and our friendships. Because I thought you might reject me if I told you...Spike and I are dating. Recently, I mean. I mean, we started dating recently. It's not like I've been going around hiding it. But well, I was kind of scared when he came over tonight and I spazzed. I wasn't ready to tell you guys, but I know now it is stupid to wait. It would only be worse if you found out later. So, Spike and I are...together, kinda. We're...expanding our friendship, I guess. We're going slow..." Buffy stopped talking when she saw that everyone was stunned in their own little way.

Xander turned red. Anya looked a bit confused. Willow was chewing on her lip. Tara was looking down at the table, a hint of a smile on her face. Ok, so maybe she wasn't stunned. Spike just tilted his head at Buffy and had a look of awe on his face. Awe and a bit of foggy drunkenness.

Finally, Xander spoke, as Buffy knew he would. "Buff...you can't be serious. I mean...Spike? Do you even...Spike! It's...does anyone else see that this is Spike?"

"Yeah, Buffy, I mean, no offense Spike, but...is this really...a good thing? He is kinda evil and dead and soulless...not that I don't like you, Spike, but..well.." Willow frowned some more and wrung a napkin to death.

Tara looked up at Buffy and spoke quietly. "I think if this is what makes you happy, then I'm happy for you. A little while ago, you wanted to...kill yourself. If Spike makes you want to hang around, I can't see how that's bad." She turned red and looked down at the table again.

Buffy smiled. "Thanks, Tara. And it's not just Spike. You all make me want to live again. To really live. I love you guys so much. That's why I was scared of this. I know you guys don't like it. Or even like Spike. I can accept that. I won't force you to like him. But I need you guys to accept that I'm testing the waters here. Trying to find my happy, Xan." She looked at Xander.

Xander nodded. "I know, Buff, but...ok, ok, you're right. We still love you and will...deal with whatever you're dating." Xander stood and looked at Spike. "But so help me, if you hurt her in any way, you will answer to me."

Spike smirked for a beat, then just nodded at Xander.

"Oh, I think this is going to be great! We can have a straight couple to double date with. Not that you guys aren't fun," Anya looked at the wiccans, "but you don't really get the sexual references I make."

"Hey! I was straight for a while. I get the references!" Willow defended. Tara frowned at her. "But, uh, I forgot it all...so yeah, probably not really up on the straight sexual references..."

"Anya, first of all, we're not double dating with Buffy and...Spike. I draw the line somewhere. And second of all, the sexual references are not for *any*one, straight or gay. They're not for public discussion..."

As Xander and Anya argued and Willow and Tara watched them with some fascination, Buffy pulled Spike out on the dance floor. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he pulled her close. "So, you mentioned dancing. This what you had in mind?" She gestured at the environment.

Spike chuckled. "Well, basically, yeah. With a little less confrontation and a little more kissing..." Spike winked as he lowered his head for said smooching. Buffy stood on her toes as she put her arms around his neck. They swayed to the music for a while, still kissing, oblivious when the music had stopped. It hadn't stopped for them, and Buffy hoped it wouldn't for a long time.

**

The End

Ok, truth to tell, there will be a sequel, but I thought it better to break it up for ease of reading! Hope you like! Check out the sequel "Through the Barricades."