Thanks for reviews
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That afternoon just after four o'clock Grace knocked on the office door. Mulder had stepped out for coffee. "Grace, come in, have a seat." I said. She smiled and took the offered chair.
"Thank you." She said.
"How was your afternoon?"
"Very good, thank you. The children seemed to gain something from the day."
"That's good," I nodded.
"I noticed your necklace Agent Scully. It's very nice."
"Oh," I said raising my hand and touching the gold cross with the tip of my finger. "Thank you, it was a gift from my mother, a long time ago."
"Do you ever feel that religion was forced on you?" She asked suddenly. I stuttered for a moment.
"Sometimes," I admitted. "But I'm glad I have something to believe in."
"Would you choose anything else? If you could?"
"I don't think so."
"Have you ever wanted to?"
"I don't think so. Although, I'm sure there were some cold Sunday mornings I would've preferred to sleep in." I said. Grace smiled.
"Do you ever question your faith?"
"I have." I said. "But doesn't everyone?"
"Yes," She nodded. "What is faith to you?"
"Faith gives me something to cling to," I said. "That's what it is, it's a life boat. It gives me hope, hope that there's something else after this, something better. I can't believe that you die, and that's it. Faith makes me realise that I've been blessed, faith helps me to carry on, no matter what. It tells me that if I just believe, if I believe in God then I'll be saved."
"Ok," She nodded.
"Why? What's faith to you?"
"Faith is a divine gift, you don't have to earn faith but you can squander it. Faith isn't a privilege either really but it's something that you're privileged if you understand. It does make you worry when you think you've lost it. But eventually, when you most need it, you'll find faith again."
"Have you ever lost your faith?" I asked.
"Everyone had a moment where they reconsider their faith. Sometimes people have more than one moment. I think that can be considered as loosing faith. The thing of it is that if it's truly faith you'll always find it again. It may take a day or a year, but you will find it again. Sometimes not until the moment before you die."
"So you have," I said. She smiled and nodded.
"And so has Father Brian, and so has your mother. Everyone that has faith, questions it."
"Why are you asking me these questions?"
"I have a feeling you're going to need this information at some point. I'm just getting it out in the open. Do you have something else you'd rather talk about?" She asked. I shook my head. "It's obviously something you've thought about."
"I just don't know what to believe anymore. The scientist in me knows that there is no God, but the Christian in me just won't let up." I smiled.
"I understand." Grace nodded. "Torn between belief and knowledge. Belief is strength and knowledge is power."
"Something along those lines." I nodded.
"Let your knowledge tell you that the bible isn't completely justified and let your Sunday School teacher tell you that the bible isn't to be taken completely seriously. I was raised by a priest, I think I understand as well as, or better, then most people that the bible contradicts itself on more than one occasion."
"I guess it's no secret. People try and expose it every day."
"So you know that. But most of all let your heart tell you that there has to be some higher power out there. Not a power that changes our fate, just a power. Like an ambient sound, you can't hear it but you know it's there. It's always there."
"But they can detect ambient sound."
"They haven't always been able too. People knew there was something there. Maybe in a few hundred years there'll be a way to detect God's presence. Maybe God doesn't exist."
"There's something there." I agreed.
"People try and expose the bible as a fake, but what does it prove? Who does it help?"
"No one really, some scientists just got bored I guess." Scully said. "It'll make some people happy."
"It's like me really. What good will telling people what I can do achieve? Sure I'll be able to help some people, but someone or some people, will always be trying to prove I'm a fake. Why? Because their bored? Or to satisfy a personal vendetta against the church? It doesn't really matter. I don't want that to happen."
"I'm not saying I believe you Grace. I don't necessarily subscribe to my partner's theories. We don't share a passion."
"Not in the unexplained. You're both looking for a truth though aren't you?"
"Yes," I nodded. The phone on Mulder's desk started ringing.
"Dana Scully." I said lifting the receiver.
"Agent Scully, it's Assistant Director Skinner."
"Yes sir,"
"Agent, I'm afraid I have some bad news. I'm sorry to do this over the phone."
"What is it sir?" I asked my gut clenching at the possibilities.
"It's Mulder. He's been shot."
"Oh my God." I said and almost fainted. I gripped the edge of the desk. Grace got out of her chair and came to stand beside me. "Where? When?"
"About ten minutes ago. He threw himself in front of a bullet headed toward a young boy. They're taking him to Memorial."
"I'll be there as soon as I can." I said and hung up the phone. "I have to go." I said looking at Grace. I grabbed my coat and ran out of the room.
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So...should I post the next chapter? Please review. If I get a nice one I'll post the next chapter. Hey, if I get a bad one I'll make this disappear.
