Foreword:

It is the next day shortly after breakfast, someone decides that everyone should go in the pool and so they do. Kurt is the last one to change except Molly who has recently developed a phobia of the pool area (but only in Lita's presence).

Kurt looked out of the window in the older wrestlers' room and watched the frolics in the pool. Lita was on Matt's shoulders and Edge on Jeff's, in turn on Randy's. Lita and Matt (mostly Lita) were winning. Kurt opened the door of his room and gasped,

"Holy Mary, Mother of God!"

His medals were floating in the air as if held by an unseen hand. Kurt recomposed himself, 'I know this is supposed to be a haunted house but please!'

"REAL MATURE GUYS!" Kurt bellowed out of the window.

Edge, Randy and Jeff looked up and bit the dust, well water. Lita and Matt jumped up and down in triumph, sort of. Thoroughly beaten the three amigos ran up the stairs to Kurt. Edge and Jeff stopped dead in their tracks in the doorway, bumping into Kurt, who was on his way out quickly. Jeff looked around the room suspiciously and shrugged, "well Kurt I know when I'm beat. How are you doing that?"

Kurt's eyes grew wide, "I thought you were doing it."

Edge's eyes were fixed on the floating medals,

"Kurt I know that we are better than you at everything and believe me. We are good but we're not good enough to do … THAT!"

Edge was gripping Jeff's arm. Jeff was gripping back. Kurt's medals were beckoning to them, swaying back and forth. Kurt tried to escape again.

"Get 'em guys!"

Jeff pushed him forward, "no way dude, they're your medals!"

Kurt straightened up. He turned on his heel. "Yeah you're right! HEY … THEY'RE MY MEDALS!" Kurt grabbed at his medals but they just floated out of his reach. Jeff and Edge were practically rolling around on the ground laughing at Kurt chasing his medals around the room yelling at the unseen menace, "IF YOU WEREN'T DEAD, I'D KILL YOU!"

** 15 mins later**

Now it was just sad. Kurt obviously hadn't realized that the joke was on him. Jeff and Edge looked at each other and cracked up again.

"Randy stop this isn't funny anymore." Jeff broke off the game.

Randy let go of the fan, replaced the floorboards and walked out of the attic just in time to see Kurt grab his medals triumphantly ("tired huh? that's what you get for messing with an Olympic gold medalist.") almost ripping the fan out of the ceiling.

"Kurt?" Jeff and Edge had started laughing again. Randy shook his head at Kurt's confusion. He said it again. "Kurt?… we tied your medals to the fan and i've been turning it from the attic, we prized some of the floorboards loose."

Kurt still looked frazzled. The trio made their way towards the stairs. It was Edge that saw Kurt lunge out of the corner of his eye

"Run!"

They pissbolted (note from Madame: refer to chapter 1 for the definition of pissbolting) down the stairs in much the same way they had come up, quickly and loudly. Down the stairs, through the kitchen, past Molly on the porch, across the yard and into the pool. Followed closely by Kurt who dove into the pool fully clothed and really pissed off. Kurt thrashed about in the pool after the younger guys who in turn swam lazily away. Randy was at the pool steps feeling safe and rather proud of himself when Kurt wrenched the back of his shorts.

"AARRGGHH!" Randy started to run and Kurt tightened his grip. Everyone cleared a path. Randy used his last burst of strength to pull free.

**RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!**

Randy's shorts were still in Kurt's hand but Randy was no longer in them. Molly fainted, Lita whooped and the other guys cheered as Randy streaked around the garden (much to Kurt's horror). Kurt was paralyzed with disgust, he eventually dropped the unsanitary item and raced inside, ignoring Molly's body on the grass, to wash his hands. Triple H noticed a murderous glint in Lita's eyes again and carried the innocent into the living room placed her on the sofa and strolled outside to rejoin the others.

By now everyone was lounging outside the pool fence, on the grass. Raven reading a book that he had mysteriously gotten from no where, Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock were sleeping on the ground soaking up the rays and the others were sitting around Lita listening to her explain her murderous attempt on Molly's life.

" …When Kurt told me that Molly was in the kitchen holding a big knife. I knew that she was feeling insecure, I mean who cuts salad with a butcher's knife? Anyway I knew that there was no way she would use it against another human being even in self-defense. So now I had to get her out of the house quickly and quietly, and without her getting suspicious… so." Lita got to her feet and tried to use Matt as a model but he kept trying to cop a feel, so instead she swooped on Jeff.

"I walked into the kitchen, looked at her face and ran outside pretending to be crying." She paused gesturing for Jeff to get up.

"I looked at the shed and realized it was perfect, big, filled with weapons and sound proof. I knew she would… Jeff, STOP IT!" Jeff was wiggling his head as though imitating her, he was acting all 'gurlie' making everyone laugh.

"ANYway," Lita continued, "I ran out of the kitchen thinking that she'd follow me, when she didn't I came back in and told her in no uncertain terms to follow me." Raven put his hand up. Lita pushed some stray hair out of her face and nodded in his direction.

"I take it that means you grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her along in front of you using sheer brute force, yes?" he said bluntly. Lita glared at him.

"Yes I did. Happy?"

Raven shrugged and went back to reading his book.

"So I take her outside and we go into the shed, for the love of…WHAT NOW!"

Raven had put his hand up again. "Why the shed?"

"Because CRETIN (note from Madame: English word means 'foul creature') the shed is sound proof so the neighbors wouldn't think that someone is being viscously beaten, when they are. By me." She stopped again, "so we go into the shed, I tell her to look under the ring. THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD RAVEN."

Raven for the third time had his hand flailing wildly in the air, "looking for what?"

"What does it matter? She looked. I went to the trainers' room. I go to the med. cupboard and grab chloroform and smelling salts. I'm not going to explain this part again so listen up this is where it gets good. Molly is on her hands and knees under the ring. Jeff drop!" Lita kicked his legs out from under him, forcing him to his knees. She used him as a prop to model the deed. "I put some chloroform on a rag and jumped on her back as she backed out from under the ring. By putting my knee here I forced her to breathe deeply enough to take it in but not deeply enough to scream, not that it would of mattered anyway." Lita stopped and walked to the side of the porch. She picked up the laundry basket on wheels and wheeled it over to the door of the shed.

"Jeff come here. Where was I? Ah yes. I picked up the body once she stopped fighting and put it in the basket. I also tied this…" she picked up the 100lb. weight that the Taker had carelessly flung to the side, "to her ankles so that I could be positive that she'd sink. I wheeled the basket to the pool. Jesus! Jeff you weigh a ton." Jeff was lying on his back in the basket holding the weight in his arms. Lita tipped him out (along with the weight) onto triple h and pushed the empty basket to the poolside. Jeff laughed the game was mildly pissed (drunk) and thought the sky was falling. He stood up and looked at the sky in wonder.

"Sit down asshole" Taker said trying to get Triple H's attention away from Jeff who had doubled over and was about to walk straight into a pedigree. It didn't work. Jeff got pedigree-ed, on the grass, in the shade, by the pool. Lita cleared her throat loudly,

"Guys I'm not finished!" waiting until they were all focused on her again, "I wheel this to the pool with Molly and the weight in it." Jeff had taken his time but he was now back in the basket. "Jeff, you really do walk into these things don't you? Then I tipped her out."

"OUCH!" Jeff protested landing hard on his shoulder on the cement. Lita laughed at his pain, as did everyone else.

"I needed her to wake up otherwise, she wouldn't take in water. She'd just float and I needed her to wake up fast. That's what the smelling salts were for. So she wakes up in time in time to see me push the weight and her into the pool."

Jeff having learnt his lesson from before jumped the pool fence to avoid this part of the demonstration. The UnderTaker started to laugh.

"That's when I looked out of the window. I saw something red run into the house and I saw something in the pool moving. She must have been trying to untie the knots. Then she looked up, we locked eyes then she tried to scream. All I could see was air escaping. That's when I came down the stairs." He explained picking up Jeff and 'gorilla-pressing' high over his head and throwing in the pool. Lita nodded.

"Thanks I'll remember that next time disguise the bright red hair. Anyway I threw the basket over there," she pointed to where she had just picked it up from. " Then I jumped the fence, ran through the kitchen, grabbing plates on the way, stopped at the dining table and doubled over so if you did come down the stairs you wouldn't realize I was breathless."

Taker rubbed his hands together, "I never realized how… deliciously evil you are."

Lita slightly uncomfortable at this remark shrank back into Matt's arms to watch with everyone else as Jeff repeatedly back-flipped into the pool.

When Lita finished explaining her plan, Molly woke up on the couch, slightly confused as to how she got there until she looked out the window and saw Randy still bare-buttocked push Jeff into the pool. She noticed immediately that Kurt wasn't there, decided that he must have been the one that carried her inside and went to look for him. Kurt when Molly found him was asleep on his bed, he had started to get changed into his swim trunks, and then it seemed he had changed his mind. He as a result of this had on only boxers and socks. Molly stood in the doorway watching his chest rising and falling. Without meaning to, she walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. At the exact moment she sat, Kurt grabbed her roughly, pinned her arms to her sides and climbed onto her so that he was sitting on her.

"RANDY ORTON, BY GOD I OUGHT'A… MOLLY? Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Kurt got off her and tried to figure out how he had mistaken his sweet, innocent, beautiful Molly for Randy ort… beautiful? Wait a minute!

Kurt looked at her rubbing her wrists to make the bruises fade. "I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?" he sat on the bed next to her and took her hands in his.

"Of course Kurt, I could never stay mad at you." 'Did I just say that?'

Kurt smiled, "oh good." He gave Molly a big bear hug, he picked her up and spun her around but he fell over and ended up on the floor with her on top of him. Both were a little creeped out by this. Molly avoided eye contact 'til she got to her feet. She stood up looking sheepish.

"Kurt?" he looked up at her, she took her shirt off, "if you want me, come and get me!" she tossed the shirt across the room and walked into the girl's bedroom. Kurt looked at the shirt that had landed in his crotch. He bolted into the girl's bedroom after her, closing the door behind him.

Out in the yard Jeff is carrying Maven and trying to slam him into the pool, Raven is reading and everyone else is where they were before except for triple h who has just walked inside to get a towel from his room.

"Are you really a man?" Stone Cold Steve Austin asked Matt. Matt hugged Lita closer to him to emphasize his answer, "yes, I like to think so."

"Lita?" Austin turned his attention to her.

"Yes, Steve?"

"Is he a man?"

This brought 2 reactions; 1) the older guys started paying more attention, 2) the younger guys started yelling "say no, say no!"

But before Lita could answer, Triple H sauntered out,

"There are strange noises coming from the girls bedroom and I can't find Molly and Kurt." Triple H wasn't bothered, he'd heard people screwing before but he had assumed it was Matt and Lita. Matt looked at Jeff, Jeff looked at Matt, they both looked at Lita. Lita shrugged.

Austin laughed, "Kurt's a man. Who knew?"

Rock was pondering, "if they are enjoying themselves now what if they wanted more entertainment later?"

Taker laughed, "they'd keep you boy's awake wouldn't they? Speak up boys, come on."

At that particular moment Molly's voice rang out.

Maven leapt to his feet, "oh god Lita's at it again!"

Lita pulled at his leg and slapped him.

He moved aside, "sorry force of habit."

Lita slapped him again "yeah so was that."

Suddenly Lita shuddered, "oh hell no!" she grabbed Matt by the arm and Jeff by his trunks and pulled them into the house.

**Upstairs a little while later**

"Got it?" Lita had explained her plan. The hardyz nodded. Molly could be heard singing in the bathroom. Matt and Jeff had the chloroform. They ran in, put Kurt to sleep and hauled the body into the corridor. Jeff took his place in the bed covered by the sheets, Lita took her place in the closet and Matt fitted a bolt to the attic door. Light flooded the bedroom as the bathroom door slid open. Molly walked out, partially clothed (note from Madame: thank god!) and got back into bed with 'Kurt'.

"If I'd known what you were capable of Kurt angle," she said playfully scratching his back, "I would have shacked up with you a long time ago."

Jeff hidden under the covers started to pray that: a) Molly was clothed, even partially and b) she wasn't expecting anything more from 'Kurt'. When she started to scratch his back he had winced at the pain, Molly wasn't so gentle after all. Jeff rolled over to face her. He pulled the blankets over his head further while finding her wrists and holding them tight above her head. Molly giggled, then stopped suddenly.

Her voice began to shake, "Kurt? How long have you had that tiger tattoo?"

Jeff threw the covers, wide open, "not long."

"And did she scream?" Maven asked fully aware that Molly was behind him.

"Oh did she ever!" Lita had just told everyone after dinner when they were still sitting at the table. Matt had locked Kurt in the attic to 'recover' from his exertions but Molly had been forced into clothes and down the stairs in tears after Lita had burst out of the closet and thumped her until she stopped screaming.

Austin and Triple H had broken out the booze and now everyone was merry except Molly and Kurt.

"Kurt must be hungry, I'll take some dinner to him."

Molly stood to get some dinner for herself and Kurt. Stone Cold Steve Austin laid a hefty paw on Molly's shoulder, "I don't think so. Nah. Eh, eh." He pushed her back into her seat, "the reason he's up there is to keep him away from you. WHAT? I said, the reason he's up there is to keep him away from you."

Triple H decided shit-faced as he was that he would join in too.

"Yeah is that too complicated for you whore?" Molly's eye joined her hands in her lap.

Hunter stood enraged, he grabbed a handful of her hair, "I SAID IS THAT TOO COMPLICATED FOR YOU, WHORE?!"

Molly tried to prize loose the vice but when she had moved a couple of his fingers he tightened his grip on her fingers and her hair.

"No" she whimpered. Man, was she gonna regret saying that.

"OH SO NOW YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME, IS THAT IT?" Triple H picked up a large knife, the Rock got to his feet.

"Don't do something you'll regret." He said it half-assed and sat down again. Molly started to get scared no one seemed to care what happened to her. Triple H grabbed another beer in his free hand, Molly hadn't noticed that he had put the knife down. He walked outside dragging her with him. All anyone at the table could hear was her pleading and begging him not to hurt her. There was an awkward silence at the table when the shed door finally closed. The Rock broke it.

"So who wants to watch TV?"

"I do."

"Me!"

"Yeah." Everyone stomped into the living room and got comfy for the horror movie marathon.

In the shed Hunter threw Molly to the ground. She lay there shaking, staring up at him. He put down his beer and lunged. She started to crawl away but didn't get far. Hunter grabbed her leg just above the knee and flipped her onto her back. Molly paralyzed with fear began to pray as he climbed over her legs. 'Oh my god he's going to…'

"You know Hunter if you weren't working for me, I might be jealous of the way you're sitting on MY Molly."

Kurt stood over them and Molly possessed by a strength she had never known pushed Triple H aside and threw herself into Kurt's arms. She was in tears.

"I…I… my Olympic hero." Triple H got off the floor and went to retrieve his beer from atop the washing machine. Molly was still in Kurt's arms, crying into his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Kurt was troubled by Molly's pain.

"No one tried to help me and… and I thought he would… he… I was so scared… but." Molly stopped abruptly, "weren't you locked in the attic?"

Kurt carefully separated Molly from his chest and gently turned her head. There was something in the ring, but the ring was in darkness.

"Stay here!" Kurt persuaded his hands to let go of her waist and he ran away. Suddenly the lights came on, pink light flooded the ring. Lighting up a cute little table set for two, a bottle of wine on the table and a crystal vase with a single red rose.

"Like it?" Kurt walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist again. She turned to face him, "I love it and I love you Kurt."

Triple H took this as his cue to leave beer in hand. He entered the living room. Raven looked away from the carnage in the movie, "did she like it?"

Hunter smirked, "listen for yourself."

Raven looked at Maven, then Randy then Jeff and when he was convinced that they also had no idea what the game was talking about, he went outside. Maven, Randy and Jeff followed. The 4 of them stood on the balcony looking at the yard before them.

"Hey Triple H, left the door open. That's odd!" Randy exclaimed, "oh well let's go shut it."

Raven perched on the top of the patio roof. "No I think I'll stay here."

Maven shrugged and ruffled Jeff's rainbow hair. "Race ya?

"Maven takes off, followed by Jeff with Randy closing fast. And I think yes, Jeff takes the lead Maven on the fence and Randy last of all. And Jeff has paused at the window of the shed, a look of horror on his pretty-boy face. Joined now by Randy who is mouthing some sort of obscenity and Maven it seems is about to throw something at me so I'd better get down. OW!" Raven had been doing color commentary on the roof when the washing basket had hit him in the face. Maven did a brief victory dance then walked to the shed. Jeff and Randy had their faces pressed up against the glass.

"What's up?"

Randy gulped, "you don't want to know."

Randy sat in the grass his back to the wall.

Maven raised an eyebrow, "I thought they were eating."

Jeff also slumped against the wall, "well Molly's certainly got her mouth full."

Maven was bamboozled, "what?" Maven looked into the window, "I can only see Kurt. Where's Molly?"

Jeff put his head in his hands and Randy gave him a funny look.

"She's on her knee's, dude."

Maven was horrified and momentarily speechless, he looked in the window again, "inside?"

"yep."

"yep."

"They turn, the Herculean warriors with the weight of the world on their shoulders." Raven was crouched next to the steps.

"Didn't you learn your lesson last time?" Maven batted in.

"Obviously not!" Raven retorted.

Jeff laughed, "don't you mean nevermore?"

Raven was not amused, "no!" *confusion* "Jeff that didn't even make sense." Jeff put his arm around Raven's shoulders, "what does make sense? What IS sense?" Raven began to ponder. By this time the happy little troopers had rejoined the majority of the housemates in the living room. Halfway through the movie marathon a very pleased Molly and Kurt walked in arm in arm.

"I hate you all and I hope you die slowly and painfully." Molly announced before walking away up the stairs. Kurt followed.

"KURT." Taker bellowed.

Kurt felt obliged to creep over submissively. "Yes?"

"Got anything to say?" Taker was hinting at a 'thank you for letting me live although I'm a dumb ass and don't deserve any more kindness than a common criminal' for organizing everything but the answer that he got caused him to leap out of his seat and belt Kurt to unconsciousness.

Kurt smiled, "oh yeah good golly miss Molly!"