Foreword: since the last episode (which was last night I might add) Molly and Kurt have been frequent bed buddies (all day in fact) as have Matt and Lita (I know, I know) forcing Jeff to take refuge on the floor in room 'alpha' with Randy, Maven, Raven and Edge. It is night time any words that run into another are meant to be that way they are tired /drunken slurs. Taker is limping due to a nagging hip injury that will occasionally get mentioned in this story.

"God! Don't they ever stop?" Maven was sitting on the floor with Jeff. Jeff was tired but every time he drifted off he was woken by someone's lustful cries.

"Shut up, Maven!"

Raven sat up. "That's it I can control my sleep deprivation not a second longer. Jeff. Maven. Cease and desist or get out!"

"Dude," Jeff was starting to slur his words, "I knowyou're tired, weareall tired…"

"They don't seem to be tired." Maven butted in. Jeff half glared at him, "we areall tired… but you don't hearRandy complaining." Raven laid his head on his pillow as if the task of keeping it up was too strenuous.

"Jeff," he said, "he's asleep. Randy it seems could sleep through the hounds of hell next door fornicating on broken glass and tin foil…" Maven butted in again,

"Well if you take away the glass and tin foil, they sorta are!"

"STOP IT!" Raven and Jeff both yelled at him. They instantly regretted it, they heard a blood curdling sound, heavy feet walking. Closer and closer with a drag, quite possibly a limp on the part of the dead man walking.

The Undertaker clad only in boxers (with the words horny little devil written on them) opened the door. (Please keep in mind he is half-asleep and only capable of short sentences).

"It is three in the morning. Don't make me kill you. Stop talking. Don't argue. Jeff, you're the loudest come with me."

Jeff got up slowly, gathered his blankets slowly and slowly trudged after the Taker who had momentarily shifted from view.

"Don't drop anything, Jeff." Raven shouted, " remember, he misses his wife."

Jeff stopped in the doorway.

"If I should die think only this of me." He gave them the finger, they laughed loudly. Jeff walked off, Taker appeared again. The laughter ceased immediately. Taker walked Jeff to his (Jeff's) room where Molly and Kurt were fooling around.

"Stay here." he said.

"I have no intention of leaving this spot."

"Don't get smart with me boy." He walked in and shut the door. It got very quiet, suddenly Molly rushed into the corridor on her own and in her night attire. She looked really guilty, she stood out side the 'girls room', eyes on the floor. Taker leisurely walked out holding Kurt by the pants. He marched Kurt to the end of the corridor, pulled down the attic trapdoor and pushed Kurt up the stairs.

"Kurt, if you come out of there before I come and get you … I'll come and get you. Understand?" Kurt nodded. Taker shooed him I and shut the door. He pushed Molly aside gently and entered the 'girls room' where Lita and Matt were getting extreme. Again it got real quiet and then Lita ran outside in her night attire. She crashed into Molly sending the pair of them into a fit of giggles. Taker came out holding Matt by the pants, marched him to the trapdoor, "ask Kurt, same deal!" shooed him in and shut the door. Taker turned to face the girls, "if I hear you in the night, either or both of you, and the house is not being broken into. I will destroy Matt and Kurt's reason for wearing a protective cup," he waggled a severe finger, "either or both! Get me?" he looked drained but none the less pissed off. "EVER!"

Like school girls being scolded they nodded promised not to wake him up again and went into their own room. Now it was Jeff's turn. "Silence. Understand?"

Jeff nodded, "thanks man."

Taker half smiled, "don't mention it." He started back to his own room.

"Shouldn't you lock the attic? … Taker?"

The older male turned, "would you cross me?… Jeff?"

Jeff shook his head quickly and got safely behind his door then called, "by the way nice boxers." Jeff stood back to the door laughing silently.

Taker spoke softly through the door, "you like 'em on me, huh? Sara doesn't she prefers them on the floor."

Taker waited 'til he heard the 'thunk' of Jeff hitting the floor and limped back to bed laughing.

Lita and Molly had given up waiting for Taker to go and decided to get some sleep. They stopped their vigil and lay down. Lita went straight to sleep but Molly lay awake wondering 'is it really worth attempting to sneak past the Undertaker and visiting Kurt in the attic? I mean Matt can come down here to Lita but I don't think he'd risk getting caught.' Something occurred to her, earlier Triple H had called her a whore.

'How dare he… if he thinks that is what I am then I guess that's what I'll be. This is going to be fun.' She smiled evilly to herself at the thought. Molly crept out of the bedroom, careful not to wake Lita. She tiptoed next door into 'bummer'. 'Jeff's all by himself and he hasn't much will power, he'll be easy pickings.' She quietly opened the door and sneaked into Jeff's bed. As soon as she hopped in Jeff woke up, "AAAAARGH COLD HANDS!" he whipped around to face her. Both of them froze as the Undertaker's voice rang majestically into the night, "SHUT UP BOY DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE AGAIN!" Jeff wide eyed in shock and disbelief, looked down at Molly and whispered, "what on earth are you doing here… oh I see…I…I." By dawn Molly was tucked up in her own bed after a night of 'activities'.

Lita sat up, stretched and looked at Molly, "well, you were busy last night!" Molly was horrified, "how did you know? You were asleep when I left and when I got back. And I couldn't of made any noise 'cos my mouth was…"

"NO! Don't ever tell me. Ever." She wasn't feeling quite so proud of herself now. Lita was leaning back on her arm looking up at the ceiling. "I woke up nine times, that's every 15 minutes from the time you left. The tenth time I woke up you were back. There were 9 guys in the house that weren't locked in the attic, so I figured you were 'visiting' a couple of them."

(Note from Madame: yeah that'll teach him a thing or two, he thinks she's a whore so she'll go sleep with every guy in the house to prove him wrong. Good work there, Molly.)

Lita laughed at Molly's crimson face. She got real close, so close she could feel the heat radiating, "so how was it?"

Molly heaved a sigh of relief and lay back on her pillow.

"PHENOMenal!" she said eyes closed reminiscing last night's fun.

Lita was stunned (note from Madame: and almost speechless but that wouldn't be any fun would it my pretties?),

"You slept with the Undertaker? that's awful."

Molly shushed her, "not exactly, I sort just found a certain part of him…with my mouth."

"THE UNDERTAKER? YOUR MOUTH? DUDE THAT'S GROSS!"

At this loud and violent outburst, permeating the morning silence, everyone in the house awoke and sat straight up. All the boys bolted into the Undertaker's room and looked at him mouths open in semi-horror.

He rolled over smiling, "good morning boyos (not a spelling error) did we all sleep well?" everyone in the room grabbed their stomachs as though about to be violently ill.

Back in the girls room however Molly told of her night's adventures, "not just the Undertaker but every guy in the house." Lita seized Molly by the throat and slammed her head into the wall.

Molly struggling for air coughed, "not Matt, not Matt."

Lita let her go, "good to hear."

There was a terrifying banging on the ceiling, the two looked up as the fan shook.

"You slept with the Undertaker, oh my god!" Kurt's voice could be clearly heard. All guys except for the Undertaker (who was rather pleased with himself I might add), Kurt and Matt rushed downstairs and were violently ill over the back fence. Kurt and Matt were just sick out of a window (note from Madame: look out below, eew!!).

The tired group of men and women dressed, went downstairs and watched TV while Molly made breakfast. There was much protesting and whining over the TV set before Austin decided on a show for all of them to watch, the crocodile hunter a.k.a. the true blue Aussie knob-jockey Steve Irwin. Molly called out of the kitchen, "breakfast, " she smiled at the old cliché, "come and get it."

Raven nudged Jeff, "although that already seems to have been the case."

The gang ran into the kitchen ready to stuff their faces Lita in the lead. Three pancakes and a coffee later Lita looked around and noticed, "hey where's Matt?"

Everyone I silence continued to stuff their faces, save the few who smiled big pancakey grins and pointed up.

"Shouldn't we let him out now? There aren't any bathrooms up there." Lita hinted. Stone cold looked up from a strong black coffee, "he puked out a window he can take a dump out-a one too."

Lita looked grossed out and Maven pale. There was a universal, "eeeeewwww!" and everyone pushed their plates away in disgust and gave Austin a dirty look.

"Thank you Steve, now the Rock has lost the people's appetite."

Lita ran upstairs before anyone could stop her and let Matt out of the attic.

"Can I come too?" Kurt pleaded.

"Um. No and remember if you come out the Undertaker'll get ya."

Lita and Matt closed the trapdoor and walked away laughing.

"Nicely done" Matt praised his girlfriend.

"Thank you Hun, I try." Lita rejoined the others in front of the TV while Matt went to wolf down the remaining pancakes.

**Seven and a half minutes later**

"Wow," Maven turned from the TV to face his companions, "I didn't think I could ever get sick of…" he stood before them and imitated the crocodile hunter.

"Look at her, she's beautiful, just look at those big green scales on her back."

The Rock was soon beside him, "sit down jabroni he says it like this, 'luuk at huh, shis be-yuut-ti-fool, jast luuk at dose biig green scahles on huh back.' Get it right horses' ass." The Rock had them all in hysterics even Triple H severely hung over thought it was funny. Now with nothing to do all eye's turned to the risk-Taker, Jeff.

"What do we do now?"

Jeff's eye lit up, "guys, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Raven held his head in his hands, "obviously not or we'd look like idiots too."

Randy knocked raven over, "tell us, Jeff."

Jeff got to his feet and began to sing (to the tune of bye bye, blackbird), "strip down at the count of the count of three, follow me he he he. LAP OF HONOR." On recognizing the song Edge, randy and Maven joined in and started to strip.

"Someone stole my underwear I don't care I'll go bare. LAP OF HONOR." The boys bolted through the kitchen to the back yard, raven, Austin, Triple H and the Rock caught on soon and followed suit or rather they didn't. The guys much to matt's dismay and the women's amusement proceeded to streak around the garden singing 'lap of honor' and 'the ballad of big, big Pete' (army style chanting song, don't worry, my pets, you'll hear it later in the next chapter, I challenge you to guess what it's about).

Taker walked out of the bathroom, he put down the magazine (note from Madame: he went for a dump get your mind out of the gutter) and moseyed on down the stairs, what he saw drove him straight back up to get a weapon of some kind. The other males with the exception of Matt (and Kurt still in the attic) were swimming and prancing around naked in front of the women. Instead of a stick Taker grabbed one of Austin's golf clubs (which he brought for god knows what reason) and hatched a plan.

Meanwhile downstairs Matt gave Lita a hug and that familiar puppy dog face, she read him like a book, "you can if you want but I'm not taking part no way no how."

Matt didn't hesitate to strip and join the others in the pool, in the nude. Lita climbed on one of the balcony posts and sat down, Molly did the same. At the sight of matt's 'nakedness' (for lack of a better word) Molly nearly fell off the post she was sitting on.

'Oh my god Lita's so lucky. The only guy that comes close is Jeff.' She bit her bottom lip, 'I wonder if I could borrow him.'

Lita laid a heavy hand on Molly shoulder and squeezed until the wincing became bruising. In a voice that only Molly could hear and with no change of facial expression, Lita warned her off.

"Don't even think about it 'cos if I think you are I'll drop you in the pool again and I wont wake you up this time."

Matt got out of the pool and ran over. Water dripping off his muscular chest and 'others'.

"Come in the pool, please Lita."

Lita laughed, "no thanks I think I'll sit this one out."

Matt ran off, Molly sighed in despair. Lita squeezed Molly's shoulder again, "it's rude to stare. Don't think I didn't notice."

The Undertaker saw the women clearly enjoying the view, so he strolled into the garden brandishing the golf club and with a mighty roar, he chased the guys around the garden and locked them in the shed. He stood outside laughing paying no attention to the pesky kids that were sitting on the balcony complaining that their show had been taken away.

"You haven't seen nothin' yet!" Taker dropped the weapon and his fingers flew to his fly.

"Shield your eyes." Molly said looking down.

"Why?" Lita turned her attention from her fingernails and realized that the Undertaker was standing next to the pool … and he had no pants on. Molly turned away with her hand over her eyes but Lita sat staring and laughing and pointing until Taker began to go red. This only made her laugh harder, tears were running down her face.

"I bet he didn't take long!" Lita laughed at her own joke, Molly grabbed Lita's arm and tried to pull her inside. Lita pulled her arm back, "what's wrong you were very happy this morning?"

Molly pointed. The Taker had his pants back on and he was almost literally foaming at the mouth.

"Oh shit!" they ran up the stairs and locked themselves in their room. Lita tipped up the beds and they made a fort, which they both hid behind laughing.

There was a knock at the door.

"Molly, Lita. Open the door please."

Molly's face lit up, "oh it's Kurt… he's come to rescue us." She ran to the door.

"NO!" Lita stood calmly, "didn't that sound a little forced to you. Remember that Taker said that Kurt couldn't come out until he said so. Right?" she edged her way to the bathroom.

Molly put her hands on her hips, "now I see. I know that you're just jealous of what Kurt and me have together. Lita, Lita, Lita. I'm sorry that you don't understand but my Kurtie would stand on train tracks to stop a train for me."

'Yeah,' thought Lita maliciously 'then it'd hit him. BLAM. Bye, bye Kurtie.' She laughed to herself. Molly wasn't pleased with Lita, she scowled at her.

"Well, I don't care what you think, BITCH!"

Molly grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. She gasped Kurt had been brutally beaten on the floor. Lita went into the bathroom to hide, she locked the door behind her. She couldn't resist having a peep though. Molly crouched by Kurt's side.

"My dear." She shuddered, wide-eyed she looked around and up at the Undertaker. He was wearing his old Ministry robes, he was grinning inanely and it was apparent that he had nothing on underneath. He continued, "you obviously remembered from last night that I like you better… on… your … knees." He seized her by the hair and wrenched her to her feet. How long had he been behind her before she noticed him? Out of the corner of her eye she saw the bathroom door was now closed. Taker watched her trembling form. 'Look at her, she's just standing there, she would do anything to save her life and Kurt's.' The Undertaker shook the evil thought from his head, instead he picked Kurt's body and forced her to carry it up to the attic which he locked behind her, he spun on his hell to see Lita watching from the side of the bathroom door. Making eye contact with him in his strange state sent a shiver up and down her spine. She shut the door properly and re-locked it. She heard a sound that made her blood run cold, he had just shut the bedroom door and locked it.

'Great now I'm trapped and he's going to kill me for laughing at the size of his...' she started to laugh again.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" the Undertaker was behind her.

"How did you?" she fell to the ground in her frantic dash for the door. 'Bastard he climbed through the window,' Lita glanced upwards, 'that must have been cold.'

Taker was growing impatient, he sneered, "I bet you thought you were clever coming in here. DIDN'T YOU? But look at you now, poor little hellcat. Where's Matt now?"

Lita was on her feet but he had her cornered in the shower. Her right hand darted to the tap, he grabbed at her wrist viscously, then his confusion began to show just as she'd known it would.

"What were you going to do with the tap?"

Lita looked well and truly beaten, "nothing." He took a step closer and she laughed, "it was a distraction." Taker was puzzled but not for long when her leg buried itself in his crotch. His left eye twitched and he fell. She wandered casually over his body over to the attic to release Molly and Kurt and into the yard to release her boys. After putting on pants they helped her to lift the Taker (still twitching) into the attic.

**Later that night, much later**

"So how was your day?" Lita had told Matt of her 'ordeal.'

"Cold, very breezy."

Taker was slowly recovering in the attic, "LET ME OUT." He yelled.

Matt started to get out of bed but Lita pulled him back.

"No let me." She cleared her throat,

"HEY… DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!"

Note From Madame: Undertaker wasn't really going to hurt either of the girls he was just trying to show then that with naked guys and only two girls things could sometimes get out of hand. But Molly already knew and Lita wasn't afraid to defend herself.