Thanks to: Kate, Keita, Min, Farah, StarFire, Lady Wild Rose, huzzahuzza,
Stacey, Xelena, Em

Check it out! It's chapter seventeen already! Goddess, I really can't believe it.
I can see the end just around the corner. (I still have a few more chapters
planned out, but you know how it is.) It's so strange. This is my longest fanfic
to date, and I'll be sad when it's over.

Anyway, here's a shameless plug: I have a new fic out, as some of you may have
noticed, and it's called Love Stinks. It features Daine and Neal in a very different way.
Numair has forsaken Daine, and Neal found out that Yuki has taken up with a lover
from her teenage years. Neal concocts a plan to make both Yuki and Numair
jealous, and make them want their respective partners back with Daine's consent--
what he *didn't* plan on was who else would get jealous and what the reprecussions
would be.

Hm...sorry. I know the parts have gotten super-short lately (short for me, anyways)
but this one is a little bit longer than the last part. I've been watching TV and stuff
and I've had a lot of school work and health problems, so the chapter lengths should
increase steadily from here on out. Remember, 150 reviews! (althought I seem to
fall one short of my hopes. 129 last time and 139 this time.)

**Chapter 17: Spiral**

The camp that Kel, Udaan, and Neal had set up sat nestled between a few trees and
out of sight from the main road. They would approach the road leading to Mindelan
soon.

Udaan had elected to serve first sentry duty, considering he had arranged his tent
close enough to Neal and Kel's that he could hear their night time...activities. In
doing so, he got to trick himself into thinking every shadow could be something
horrible lurking around the corner. In fact, every time a shadow moved against
the scenery, he whirled, aiming his dagger towards the movement. It proved useless
each time, except for scaring off an owl or two and some of the prey they chased.

In the morning, Udaan was one tired man.

However, the lovely couple seemed to be in top shape. It almost made Udaan sick
to see them so deliriously happy with each other, but he was happy for Kel. Neal
seemed to moon over her though, and *that* made him want to throttle the male
knight.

"Well, Mindelan should be coming up in a day or so," Neal told them. "Right, Kel?"

"I think so," she agreed. She finished her breakfast and put the dish away. "You
guys eat slower than *I* do. Come on Queenscove, Udaan, let's get a move on!
Those who may have survived have no chance if we just sit here."

Used to Kel's orders, Neal continued eating at his snail's pace. So, Kel kicked him.
"Ow!" he cried. Glaring at her, he finished eating his breakfast and also packed
away his dish. They left the packing up of the cooking utensils and Udaan's dish
to the one-armed man while they packed up their tent and, ultimately, Udaan's tent.
Their horses packed and saddled, they turned to the road and took hold of it.

The ride was uneventful. They took lunch in the saddle and stopped for supper an
hour after the sun went down. However, that's when trouble brewed.

They heard abnormal noises from the bushes across the road. Noises that shouldn't
have come from an animal made all three of the travelers draw their weapons and
scan the scenery. A scream pierced the air, followed by the ringing of a sword drawn
from its sheath. Shortly thereafter, the scream died.

Neal recklessly ran across the road, Kel a moment behind him. When they finally
located the source of all the noise, Kel thought she might throw up.

Someone had arranged dead leaves in a circle in the clearing they'd found. A
headless body of someone in Mindelan livery lied next to a message inscribed into
the ground. Shakily, Kel approached the words, an "i" dotted by the man's head,
and read them aloud. "'Dearest Kel: I told you to meet me in our place with our
link. I meant for you to do it shortly after the message reached your ears. Your
blatant disregard for my instructions will harm you in the long run, and you will
regret ever not heeding them. From, the Master of Your Heart.'"

She jumped when Neal encircled his arms around her waist. In fact, she didn't want
to be touched, so she pulled out of Neal's embrace. Rounding on Udaan, her face
lit with anger. "You!"

Udaan flinched. "Me?"

"Yes!" she cried, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "I need to speak with you
alone. Neal, stay here. Build a fire and tell the king about what has happened
here."

Grabbing Udaan by the collar of his shirt, Kel dragged hiim back to their camp
while Neal built a small fire.

"Udaan," she said, glaring at him. "Goddess, Udaan--did you agree to come to me
and act as their little spy or something?!"

Udaan held up his hand helplessly. "I swear t' ye, Kel, I didn't have nothin' t' do
wit' this!" he told her, pacing. "I didn't want ye t' get hurt--"

She shoved him. "Bullshit."

He stumbled backwards and almost into the fire they had left unattended. Staring
at her with haunted eyes, he took a deep breath. "Did the Master ever tell ye what
he wanted from ye?"

"No, for the billionth time," she growled. "Gods, if he *ever* touches Neal, I think
I will kill him with my own hands. What the hell does he want from me, Udaan?"

"He wants to make ye His wife," Udaan told her bluntly. "He wants to have ye all
to 'Imself. I don't why, He has some kinda prophecy or whatnot. Somethin'
'bout havin' a child wit' ye, for an heir. He wants to become a *god*, Kel. He's
bloody mad. He has His scroll an' that scroll will help make Him a god. The Master
is just a young'un with too much ambition, too much madness t' see straight
anymore. He's scarcely older 'n ye. D'ye understand now? D'ye understand?"

"Understand what? That he's crazy? Yes, I understand. Why the hell is he so
fixated on *me*?" Kel wanted to know desperately.

"I told ye. He wants to become a god wit' ye at His side. That's all I know," Udaan
tried to tell her.

"Where did he come from, Udaan? I know you know."

"Tortall."

"How did he come into power?"

"Faked His own death."

"Male or female?"

"No one can say. He appears diff'rent to everyone so no one can identify Him."

Kel sat down and buried her face in her hands. "You're lying."

"I ain't lyin'," Udaan insisted.

"I don't believe you."

"Then Neal will die."

That stopped Kel in her tracks, fear etched in her eyes and on her features. "Gods...
they'll kill Neal, won't they? Just so I have more reason to go to this Master of whoever?"

Udaan nodded gravely. "Yes. Now will ye listen t' me?"

Knowing what Udaan would say, Kel inclined her head barely. "Yes."

"Ye'll have t' let him go, Kel," he said softly, kneeling next to her. "I know ye love him,
so t' protect him ye'll have to get rid of him."

"No." Standing up, she looked at Udaan as if he had physically struck her. "No, I just
got him all for myself. I can't..."

"Ye *have* t'!" Udaan told her fervently. "D'ye want him t' *die*, Kel?! Ye'll have t' let
him go--without lettin' him know what we know."

Closing her eyes, Kel shook her head. "I hate the Master. I hate him. I hate him with
everything I have in me and I haven't hated anyone except for Blayce. Gods, I hate the
Master more than I ever hated Blayce. I never thought I could hate someone so much
as I hate the Master." She stopped in front of the fire. "Fucking son of a bitch."

Neal stumbled into their camp then. "I told Jon about what happened. He says he still
wants us to go up to Mindelan and see if they left anything behind or anyone behind.
Personally, I don't think we'll find anything but--Kel, are you okay? You look like you've
seen a ghost."

Plastering a fake smile on her face, Kel shook her head. "I'm fine. I feel kind of tired
though, do you mind if I skipped supper and just went to sleep?"

Frowning, Neal sighed. "Go ahead. Udaan and I can take care of everything."

Acutely aware of Neal's eyes on her back, Kel ducked into their tent and squirmed into
her bedroll. She sighed and mentally cursed the Master in any language she knew how
to and surprised herself at the other curses she knew. She could hear Neal talking with
Udaan outside.

"Did you say something to upset her?" Neal demanded of Udaan as they cooked their
supper.

"Nothin' at all," Udaan grunted.

Obviously, Neal didn't believe him. He hadn't really trusted the man since he kidnapped
Kel, although he trusted Kel's judgment. "Did she act ill or anything while you two were
talking?"

"Jus' a little tired." He shrugged. "Why do ye ask?"

"Because I don't trust you or your motives," Neal told him bluntly. "If you harm Kel or
you were any way involved in that scene I just had to report to the king, I will make
sure you regret it. Do you understand? If you do anything to Kel, I will make you
pay, Duke of Queenscove or not."

"I hear ye," Udaan said quietly. "I promise ye I had nothin' t' do wit' it though."

"I don't know if promises mean anything to you," Neal retorted. "I'll repeat it again: I
don't trust you. At all."

Nodding, Udaan went about his business, wary of Neal's haunting green eyes on him.

***

In the morning, Kel did her best to give Neal the cold shoulder. She figured that
instead of breaking up with him herself, she would cause trouble in their relationship
so much that it brought around an argument that would cause them both to go their
separate ways. She really didn't want to break his heart and wouldn't if she didn't
have to.

They got to Mindelan two hours before the sun began to set. Neal had given up
trying to talk to her when she kept pretending like she hadn't heard him. It really
hurt his feelings--he couldn't understand why she kept doing this to him and when he
asked, she had changed the subject and pretended like she hadn't heard him. In
fact, it actually started to irritate him so much that he had taken the leading position
in their line of horses just so he wouldn't have to put up with it.

"Mindelan!" Kel cried when they came to it. She urged her horse up ahead of Neal
and stopped abruptly when she saw all of the rubble. Her face crumpled into a mix
of a frown and devastation. "No..." she murmured, dismounting and grabbing her
horse's reins. Leading the horse, Udaan, and Neal, she stepped into the ashes and
splintered pieces of wood. "Great Merciful Mother..." she breathed. Looking up, she
caught a glimpse of what was left of the castle, cried out, released her horse, and
ran to the piles of stone.

Neal grabbed her horse's reins and followed her in. "Kel?"

She looked up at him, sniffing. "What?"

"Do you have some place where we could tie the horses so we can look around?"
he asked softly.

"This way," she said, standing up and taking her horse from Neal. She led them to
the rear of the castle, where the stable used to sit. Most of the stable still stood,
much to her relief, and they were able to tie their horses to the stall beams. She
asked Udaan to watch the horses and walked out to the village of Mindelan with
Neal.

"Hello!" Neal called, his voice echoing off of the rubble. "Anyone there?"

"I don't think we'll find anyone," Kel confided. However, she did shout, "Hello!
Did anyone survive?"

"Over here!" shouted back a feeble voice.

Kel and Neal exchanged glances for only a moment and ran to the source of the
voice. "Hello?" Neal asked.

"Please lemme out!" the voice insisted.

Together, Neal and Kel lifted the long piece of wood covering the survivor.
Amazingly, the survivor had found himself in a small hole, unhurt for the most
part with enough air to last for days. He had also had a waterskin with him and
some dried food in his belt pouch.

"How...?" Neal trailed off. He examined the survivor and laughed out loud. "Not
a scratch on him!"

"Lady Keladry!" the man exclaimed, recognizing the female knight. He bowed.
"My regrets about Mindelan..."

"Oh, please don't bow," she told him. "Please."

He rose, fiddling with the hem of his tunic. "Thank ye both. I though I would
die down there."

"No problem," Kel said.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Neal asked, hoping that he could tell them
what had really gone on.

"Well, I remember I was goin' down t' the basement," he started. "I heard a
noise, so I came back upstairs and ran outside. There were a bunch of
mounted bandits carryin' torches and hollerin' like no tomorrow. They set fire
to that side of the town." He pointed. "And started knockin' everything down.
They ran up to the castle and pulled a catapult up, loaded it, and began firin'
everything at it. The rest of the bandits came over to this side and started
knockin' everything down. I ran back inside and down to the basement then."

"What did you say your name was?" Kel asked.

"Thatcher. Jayson Thatcher," he told her.

"Well, Mr. Thatcher," Neal interrupted. "We'll take you back to the palace
now."

"Thank you!" Jayson Thatcher cried, taking hold of both of them and hugging
them.

Neal ducked out of his arms and looked to Kel, saying, "I'll go make sure that
no one else is out there."

Kel nodded and led Mr. Thatcher back to Udaan. Neal returned to them a half
hour later, emtpy handed except for half of an emblem. It had apparently come
off of a uniform of some sort, but he couldn't identify it without its other half.

"I think we should go back to Corus now," Neal announced.

"I agree," Kel, Udaan, and Jayson Thatcher agreed.

They mounted, Jayson riding double with Neal. None of them wanted to talk too
much, except for Jayson, who kept asking for news from Corus. In about an hour,
they arrived at an inn, quickly paying the amount asked for and dolling out the
rooms. Jayson stayed with Udaan, and Kel with Neal.

Justice snuggled up between them as Neal traced Kel's jawline. Smiling, he told
her, "At least we'll be home soon."

She nodded, yawning as he tried to kiss her. "Sorry," she muttered. "Neal...I'm
tired."

He nodded. "All right." He kissed her quickly and snuggled into the bed. "Night,
Kel."

"Goodnight."

***

Neal woke in the morning to find his bed void of any life but himself and Justice.
Kel had disappeared, he found as he lifted his head full of disheveled hair from the
pillow. "Love?" he called groggily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his arm and
yawning. Justice licked his chin and wagged her tail, then tried to chew on Neal's
fingers. "Ow! Kel! Your dog wants to eat me!"

"She doesn't want to eat you, you fool," Kel answered from the doorway. "And
how nice of you to wake up."

"What..." he could hardly form a coherent thought, much less speak intelligently.
However, he did manage to find the brain power to look out the window. "Kel,
babe, it's still dark outside."

Rolling her eyes, Kel walked over to the window and threw the heavy winter
curtains aside. Post-dawn sunshine streamed through onto Neal's face, making
him cry out in surprise. "Udaan and Mr. Thatcher have been awake for a couple
hours now. Come on, up with you. You can't ride double with Mr. Thatcher
unless you have your wits about you."

In reply, he groaned something incomprehensibly and buried his face in his
pillow.

"Wake up!" Kel demanded, pulling aside the covers to reveal Neal in nothing but
a loincloth.

"Ah! That's *cold*, woman!" he yelped, rolling out of bed and crawling over to
his bags, muttering.

She smiled and watched him for a moment before packing her things up and
handing Justice a strip of leather to chew on. When Neal finally stood, Kel had
most of her things packed away and didn't anticipate Neal coming up behind her
and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Neal..." she breathed.

"Ten minutes. That's all I ask," he murmured, kissing her earlobe.

"Five minutes," she bartered.

"Seven," he counteroffered.

"Six," she bargained.

"Deal."

"Ack. No, wait, no deal. Udaan and Mr. Thatcher are *waiting* for us, Neal."

"They can stand to wait six more minutes."

"You just got clothed."

"I can get clothed again."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Okay, fine. At least let me kiss you?"

"I think I can arrange that."

She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him with all that she
had in her. This kiss would have to last her until the Master business was over and
done with--after all, she didn't want him to die, so she had to pretend she didn't
care. She had to make herself not care about him so the Master wouldn't target him.
Just thinking about it made tears spring up in her eyes and she tried desperately to
keep them back.

However, Neal broke away from her, frowning. He had tasted the tears in their kiss.
"Kel...?" he brushed one of her tears away with his thumb. "Love, what...why did
you start crying?"

"Cry..." her voice broke. "Crying? I'm not crying."

He frowned even more. First she had started giving him the cold shoulder, then
she kissed him like tomorrow didn't exist, and now she had started crying?

"Kel? Are you..."

She looked at him intently.

"Are you pregnant?"

Kel hit him and walked out of the room with her bags.

"Ow," he commented as he rubbed his arm. Shrugging, he picked up his bags,
whistled to Justice, and followed her out to the stableyard.

***

While Neal had occupied himself by engaging in a conversation with Mr. Thatcher,
Udaan dropped back to ride alongside Kel. "How are ye feelin', Kel?" he asked
quietly.

"Miserable." No matter how much she tried, she simply couldn't keep herself from
watching Neal with forlorn eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"Ye look it," he told her. "I take it ye an' him haven't had much in the way of
paradise?"

Kel snorted indignantly. "Hardly. If I want to protect him, then I just have to give
up on him. I have to let him get angry at me and not want me back."

"Ye've a good heart, Kel. I'm sorry ye got chosen by that son of a bitch for His
plan," Udaan apologized. "I..."

"You?" Kel prompted, wiping her cheek on her sleeve.

"I...I'm 'specially sorry that I suggested ye to the Master," he mumbled. "I had
heard about ye and yer success in Scanra, an' He wanted someone to stand by
'Is side..."

Kel shrugged. "Whatever. It doesn't matter now, we can't change what's
happened."

"True," he conceded. Silence enveloped them for a few feet until Udaan decided
to speak again. "Ye'll have t' distance yerself from 'im, elsewise the Master's
spies would tell 'im that ye're still longin' for him."

She nodded. "I know."

Udaan didn't bother to speak again, instead watching Kel try to melt into the
Yamani lump.

"Udaan!" Neal called over his shoulder.

"Yeah, Neal?" the one-armed man called back.

"Do you want to trade with me? I don't think Skunk can take much more of
this double-riding," he explained.

Udaan thought about it. "Hey, Thatcher."

Jayson looked up. "Yeah?"

"Do ye ride well?" Udaan wanted to know.

"I think so," he allowed.

"Can ye keep yerself steady on a horse without me t' hold ye up?" Udaan asked
as he trotted up evenly with Neal.

"Of course," Jayson Thatcher assured Udaan.

"Then git on."

Jayson switched horses, leaving Neal and Kel to themselves. She hadn't spoken
to her fellow knight and lover since that morning. He just wanted her to tell him
that she loved him and that she was just going through her monthlies or
something because, quite frankly, a shadow of doubt loomed in Neal's mind.
Had she only wanted to play with his feelings because she felt he did wrong by
Yuki? That didn't sound like Kel, but he wouldn't put anything past her, not with
the doubt hanging overhead.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked congenially.

She shrugged. "I guess."

"We'll go home to Corus soon and maybe we can take a break. I doubt it, but
maybe. We deserve a break--the gods know we do," he babbled.

She didn't seem to notice. "Yeah."

*Go away, go away, go away. Please go away. You're making it harder on me,
Neal. Go away, go away...* Kel pleaded mentally.

However, he didn't seem to hear her telepathic message. "I think the first thing
I want to do is take a bath when I get home. I've spent the majority of the last
three months on the road."

"Yeah," Kel agreed.

The chilly mid-November wind swept through the northern area of Tortall,
making the four travelers shiver. "Feels like an early snow this year," Neal
commented.

"Maybe." Yawning, Kel settled more comfortably in her saddle and found her
eyes drifting shut. Neal surprised her by placing a fur-lined cloak over her
shoulders, which she didn't have the energy to fight. She had stayed up most
of the prior evening, trying to keep out of Neal's grasp--he was clingy when
he slept.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I won't let you fall."

She replied with a noncomital noise.

***

The remainder of the trip passed by in a blur of lethargy and stress for Kel and
Neal. Both of them worried about the other for different reasons, and the more
Neal thought about it the more he realized that she had kept secrets from him
since he found her. It made him a kind of angry he had never felt before and he
felt quite betrayed. He had assumed that she would tell him in her own time what
had happened when she got kidnapped but she never told him. Now she gave him
the cold shoulder, one-word answers, kept secrets, and talked quietly with Udaan.

He never had trusted Udaan.

However, Neal decided not to confront Kel on the matter until they cam back to
Corus, much to Kel's relief. She saw it on his face when he looked at her, and
quite frankly she had expected more time between him noticing her lack of warmth
towards him and act upon it.

In fact, two days after they returned to Corus and handed over the emblem and
Jayson, Neal cornered her in the residential hallway. The temperatures had
dropped to below freezing and had steadily depleted since the morning but the
dread Kel felt chased the cold from her and instead gathered in her stomach.

"Kel."

"...Neal."

"Kel, we need to talk."