I'm incredibly bored, it's the holidays so there's no school, leaning against the windowsill I imagine myself outside, playing, but it's snowing so I can't. "Momo, can you come help Mama with something in the kitchen?" "Coming!" I call, happy to be able to do something, besides just sitting there.

Mama meets me at the kitchen door, she smiles at me and hands me a bowl of cookie batter, "Would you mix this?" Nodding I get out a stool so I can reach the counter and start to mix the thick substance. A chocolate chip shows itself and I stick a finger in to retrieve it, getting a bit of batter on it too, I lick the sweet goo off my finger, then return to mixing. "That's enough. You did a wonderful job." She takes the bowl from me and pours it into several different cookie molds: hearts, Christmas trees, bears, and a peach. I know that that one's for me, but this year I also want something new. Reaching up to the cupboards above my head I dig around in the cookie cutter container until I find the one I need, "Can we use this one too? Please Mama?" "But Momo, that one's for Easter, not Christmas." "Please?" "Alright, if you really want to." And so this Holiday, my family will have bunny shaped cookies on their plates.

Once I've finished helping Mama with the cooking for December 25, I start on the tree, it's always been my job to hang on the ordainments, anyway I liked. And at the end, Papa would hold me up so that I could put the star at the very top. The ribbon goes on first I remember, then the little porcelain balls, and finally the tinsel; now it's time for the star, but for some reason I want to wait this year.

***

The snow's falling again, it had stopped when I had had lunch, but now the flurries had once again started to dance their way down to the earth. It's almost Christmas, in fact it's tomorrow! Tohru had convinced the others to hold a party and everyone, everyone meaning all of the Juunishi, were invited. She was such a sweet girl, a beacon of light for all of us to see by, our candle in the never-ending dark. I should be thankful to have that much, but I still want more, I want a family, I want someone who really loves me, someone who cares SO deeply that it can not be expressed by words. In other terms, I want a mother.

"Momiji? Is that you in there?" "Yes." He walked in, Hatori, the person who had taken me in after erasing my Mama's memory. Hatori had also suffered so much pain because of the curse, just 'cause he had fallen in-love with someone. Sometimes I wondered, was the main reason of the curse to keep you from being happy? They say that the only three things you need to be happy in this world is 'something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for' But what I think that you need one thing more: you need for someone to love you back.

Hatori smiles at me and joins my staring out the window. He had always had a thing with snow; did it remind him of Kana? For me it just reminded of the fact that in life there are the bad things and the good things, and to rejoice in the good you must also suffer the bad.

***

I tugged at Mama's dress, "I'm going to go out for just a while." I told her, hoping that she would agree. Hesitation waltzed in her eyes, then she nodded, "Don't go too long okay, Momo? And bundle up, it's freezing out there." Hurrying away before she changed her mind I grabbed my coat and left.

Outside, the bitter wind made my teeth chatter and I ran to keep warm. Minutes later my feet had taken me to my destination, a big broad sign read 'Souma'. Climbing over the fence I made my way to a window, and tried to remember the correct room. Two up, five over, yes that was it. Counting as I went I finally found it; peeking inside, I found the boy I was looking for sitting on his bed, after a moment he bent over and got out the violin that I knew he kept under his cot. After all, this wasn't the first time I had done this. Sweet music floated to my ears as I strained to listen, as always it was beautiful, but oh so sad...

I wished that even once he would play something happy! So that I would know that HE was happy. But every time I came to listen, the poignant melody would once again break my heart. I wanted him to be happy, he made me happy, and he looked so much like Mama and me! Sometimes, I would secretly wish that he were my brother; Momiji, my Oniisan.

***

Putting my violin away, I seem to see a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye; I ignore it and continue replacing the instrument into its case, careful to not scratch it, it's amazing how easily theses instruments scratch.

I think I'll ask Hatori if I could go and see Tohru, maybe he'd let me if I told him that I would help her set up; not that I wouldn't really, but he would be more likely to let me go if I told him that. Sneaking into Hatori's room has always been a hobby of mine, I like to see how close I could get to his chair before he noticed. Today he must have been really alert 'cause he turned as soon as I reached the door. "Momiji?" Giving him the full blast of my cheerful smile I answered, "Can I go visit Tohru? Pl~ease?!? I want to help her with the party decorations!" He nods and I scamper away, grabbing my coat on the way out the door. In my hurry I smash into something, after a moment I dizzily stand. Looking around for the object I had hit, but there was none. "Hello?" I called, and nobody answered. Shrugging, I began trudging through the snow again. ***

::Momiji, would you be happy for me? Would you be happy for me if I made it my, Christmas wish?::