Tad braced himself up against the wall as he tried to make his way to
Dixie's room. His legs were weak and he had a bit of trouble supporting his
own weight, but that was only from being in bed so long. He pushed his way
inside, pausing briefly to just look at her. She looked so weak, so
fragile, but as he moved closer, she turned her head slightly, her face
lighting up.
"Tad," she said as he pulled up a chair beside her bed. "They let you out."
"No..." he said. "I snuck out." tad ran his fingers through her curls. "I wanted to see you."
"Did Jake tell you?" Dixie said.
"He told me that you're sick, Dix. That you can't carry the baby to term..."
"He wants to take the baby now. he can't..."
"Jake is looking out for your best interest."
"But what about our baby?" Dixie said. "God, Tad. I knew this would happen." She paused. "After all these years of trying... I thought I would be fine. We would finally have a little baby... part of me, part of you... Now we're going to lose it all again."
"Don't talk like that," Tad said.
"I'm afraid, Tad." Dixie said as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm so afraid of what's going to happen."
"Don't cry, Dix." Tad thumbed the tears from her eyes. "We've gotten through a lot. We'll get through this."
Dixie shut her eyes, swallowing hard as she shook her head. "What if we don't? I'm not invincible."
"You always seemed it to me." Tad smiled.
"I don't feel it." Dixie paused. "We wanted this so bad. I prayed for this... and now... I may not even see this little baby."
"Dixie..."
"I don't want to die." Dixie cried. "I have so much here. I have Junior... I have Jamie... I have you, Tad. I don't want to lose all that."
Tad took her hand in his. "You're not going to lose anything." he said. "You're going to be fine."
"You can't promise that."
"I believe it," Tad said, bringing his hand up to her face. "I believe it in my heart. I trust Jake. He can make this better."
"Do you really believe that?"
"Of course I do. You're going to be OK, Dix. I'm going to be right there with you when you bring our baby into this world. And I'm going to show you two off once we get out of the hospital. We're going to go back to living the perfect life, just like before any of this happened. Like before the accident."
"I want to believe you, Tad," Dixie said. "I do."
"Then believe me." tad leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I wouldn't lie to you, Dix. You know that."
"I know."
"Then trust me. You're a fighter. You'll get through this." Dixie smiled slightly, nodding. Tad rested his hand on her belly. "We're going to have a beautiful baby," he said as the door opened an Jake walked in.
"What are you doing here?" he asked Tad.
"Visiting my wife," Tad said.
"She should be resting." Jake walked up to Dixie's bed. "Both of you."
"We're not throwing a party in here, Jake," Tad said. "We're just talking."
Jake shook his head. "I know," he said. "I just think that you should both get some rest." He paused. "I'm having some specialists come in to run some more tests on you, Dixie."
"What kind of tests?" she asked.
"Nothing serious," Jake said. "We just want to check on the baby's development and your heart."
Dixie shifted uncomfortably in bed. "Don't move around too much," Jake said. "You don't want to pull out your IV." He turned to Tad. "And you. You should let her relax before the exams."
"Yes, doctor," Tad whined. He leaned down and kissed Dixie on the lips. "I love you," he said. "I love you so much. Let the doctors do what they have to do, OK?" Dixie smiled. "You know where I'll be."
Jake helped Tad to his feet. "I'll be right back," he said, helping Tad out of the room.
"Have you heard anything new?" Tad asked.
Jake sat down and tad followed suit. "I don't want to do this to you." Jake said.
"Just tell me, Jake."
"Every specialist tells us the same thing. She's not doing well, Tad."
Tad ran his hand over his face. "Is she going to die, Jake?"
"The baby is making her weaker and weaker..."
"But is she going to die?"
"I don't want to force you to choose between your wife and your child, but..."
"But?"
"But it might come down to that."
Tad shook his head. "You're asking me to do something impossible. I wouldn't be able to make that decision... how could I?" There was silence for a moment. "What are the odds, Jake?" Tad asked. "Give me numbers."
Jake took a deep breath.
"We'll know more after the specialists take a look at her. But... right now... I'd say it's going to come down to a choice."
"My wife or my baby."
Jake was silent. "We'll know more later, Tad."
Tad shook his head. "What did you go to medical school for?" His voice grew louder. "If you can't save them both, why did you go to school, Jake? Why did any of you even bother becoming doctors?" Tad pushed himself up from his seat. "Just do me a favor," he said. "Don't do anything else for me. Just keep my family alive. My whole family. Because if anything happens to Dixie... or the baby..." Jake stood, trying to steady him. "Just leave me alone, Jake." Tad said, pulling away from him. Jake stepped back, giving Tad some space. I can get back to my room on my own." Tad supported himself against the wall. "Just go back to doing... whatever exactly it is that you do."
Jake folded his arms around himself as he let Tad make his way back to his room. Tad turned. Seeing that Jake had gone back to work, Tad made a detour, turning in to the chapel.
It was quiet inside. He shut the door and slowly managed to make his way up to the front and take a seat. He leaned forward, his head in his hands. Tad took a deep breath.
"Dixie is the one who has all the faith," Tad said. "She changed me... she gave me something to believe in. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my entire life..." He paused, rubbing his eyes. "We got through everything with Adam... We got through the whole thing with Leslie Coulson and Billy Clyde Tuggle. We faced Ted in Canada and we pulled through that. We dealt with my amnesia and losing our daughter... I even thought that we had licked these heart problems." tad shook his head. "I guess I was wrong... Dixie... Dixie hasn't done anything wrong. She doesn't deserve what's happening. She shouldn't be going through this." tad leaned his head back, his eyes shut. "Don't let her die. My wife and baby... please don't let them die. I'll do anything," tad cried. "Anything. Just make this go away. I just want things to go back to they way they were before the accident. Oh, God, please. Don't take my family from me."
"Tad," she said as he pulled up a chair beside her bed. "They let you out."
"No..." he said. "I snuck out." tad ran his fingers through her curls. "I wanted to see you."
"Did Jake tell you?" Dixie said.
"He told me that you're sick, Dix. That you can't carry the baby to term..."
"He wants to take the baby now. he can't..."
"Jake is looking out for your best interest."
"But what about our baby?" Dixie said. "God, Tad. I knew this would happen." She paused. "After all these years of trying... I thought I would be fine. We would finally have a little baby... part of me, part of you... Now we're going to lose it all again."
"Don't talk like that," Tad said.
"I'm afraid, Tad." Dixie said as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm so afraid of what's going to happen."
"Don't cry, Dix." Tad thumbed the tears from her eyes. "We've gotten through a lot. We'll get through this."
Dixie shut her eyes, swallowing hard as she shook her head. "What if we don't? I'm not invincible."
"You always seemed it to me." Tad smiled.
"I don't feel it." Dixie paused. "We wanted this so bad. I prayed for this... and now... I may not even see this little baby."
"Dixie..."
"I don't want to die." Dixie cried. "I have so much here. I have Junior... I have Jamie... I have you, Tad. I don't want to lose all that."
Tad took her hand in his. "You're not going to lose anything." he said. "You're going to be fine."
"You can't promise that."
"I believe it," Tad said, bringing his hand up to her face. "I believe it in my heart. I trust Jake. He can make this better."
"Do you really believe that?"
"Of course I do. You're going to be OK, Dix. I'm going to be right there with you when you bring our baby into this world. And I'm going to show you two off once we get out of the hospital. We're going to go back to living the perfect life, just like before any of this happened. Like before the accident."
"I want to believe you, Tad," Dixie said. "I do."
"Then believe me." tad leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I wouldn't lie to you, Dix. You know that."
"I know."
"Then trust me. You're a fighter. You'll get through this." Dixie smiled slightly, nodding. Tad rested his hand on her belly. "We're going to have a beautiful baby," he said as the door opened an Jake walked in.
"What are you doing here?" he asked Tad.
"Visiting my wife," Tad said.
"She should be resting." Jake walked up to Dixie's bed. "Both of you."
"We're not throwing a party in here, Jake," Tad said. "We're just talking."
Jake shook his head. "I know," he said. "I just think that you should both get some rest." He paused. "I'm having some specialists come in to run some more tests on you, Dixie."
"What kind of tests?" she asked.
"Nothing serious," Jake said. "We just want to check on the baby's development and your heart."
Dixie shifted uncomfortably in bed. "Don't move around too much," Jake said. "You don't want to pull out your IV." He turned to Tad. "And you. You should let her relax before the exams."
"Yes, doctor," Tad whined. He leaned down and kissed Dixie on the lips. "I love you," he said. "I love you so much. Let the doctors do what they have to do, OK?" Dixie smiled. "You know where I'll be."
Jake helped Tad to his feet. "I'll be right back," he said, helping Tad out of the room.
"Have you heard anything new?" Tad asked.
Jake sat down and tad followed suit. "I don't want to do this to you." Jake said.
"Just tell me, Jake."
"Every specialist tells us the same thing. She's not doing well, Tad."
Tad ran his hand over his face. "Is she going to die, Jake?"
"The baby is making her weaker and weaker..."
"But is she going to die?"
"I don't want to force you to choose between your wife and your child, but..."
"But?"
"But it might come down to that."
Tad shook his head. "You're asking me to do something impossible. I wouldn't be able to make that decision... how could I?" There was silence for a moment. "What are the odds, Jake?" Tad asked. "Give me numbers."
Jake took a deep breath.
"We'll know more after the specialists take a look at her. But... right now... I'd say it's going to come down to a choice."
"My wife or my baby."
Jake was silent. "We'll know more later, Tad."
Tad shook his head. "What did you go to medical school for?" His voice grew louder. "If you can't save them both, why did you go to school, Jake? Why did any of you even bother becoming doctors?" Tad pushed himself up from his seat. "Just do me a favor," he said. "Don't do anything else for me. Just keep my family alive. My whole family. Because if anything happens to Dixie... or the baby..." Jake stood, trying to steady him. "Just leave me alone, Jake." Tad said, pulling away from him. Jake stepped back, giving Tad some space. I can get back to my room on my own." Tad supported himself against the wall. "Just go back to doing... whatever exactly it is that you do."
Jake folded his arms around himself as he let Tad make his way back to his room. Tad turned. Seeing that Jake had gone back to work, Tad made a detour, turning in to the chapel.
It was quiet inside. He shut the door and slowly managed to make his way up to the front and take a seat. He leaned forward, his head in his hands. Tad took a deep breath.
"Dixie is the one who has all the faith," Tad said. "She changed me... she gave me something to believe in. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my entire life..." He paused, rubbing his eyes. "We got through everything with Adam... We got through the whole thing with Leslie Coulson and Billy Clyde Tuggle. We faced Ted in Canada and we pulled through that. We dealt with my amnesia and losing our daughter... I even thought that we had licked these heart problems." tad shook his head. "I guess I was wrong... Dixie... Dixie hasn't done anything wrong. She doesn't deserve what's happening. She shouldn't be going through this." tad leaned his head back, his eyes shut. "Don't let her die. My wife and baby... please don't let them die. I'll do anything," tad cried. "Anything. Just make this go away. I just want things to go back to they way they were before the accident. Oh, God, please. Don't take my family from me."
