"I can't they did that. I mean that's such a sexist attitude." Dr Janet
Fraiser exclaimed.
"I know. What do I know about babies? I mean she was cute but the Colonel had a kid, Teal'c got a kid and Daniel spent plenty of time with kids on Abdoys. But I do have a plan."
"Really. Let's hear it." Sam proceeded to tell Janet her plan. "I'm going to have to get my camera out if Hammond agrees."
"I'm on my way to see him now. I'll let you know how things work out."
* * *
"I think it's a wonderful idea Major. It will be an excellent addition to the training programme."
"Thank you sir." Sam smiled. "I've contacted Principal Smart. She said to call her back and let her know how many we wished to borrow."
"Borrow as many as possible. We'll begin the training exercise on Monday." He said as he held open the door to his office for her.
"Yes sir." She smiled and walked out into the briefing room to see her CO sat at the table.
"What was all that about Carter?" Colonel Jack O'Neill asked.
"New training programme, sir." She replied.
"Care to fill me in?" He asked.
"You'll find out on Monday Colonel. If you'll excuse me I have a phone call to make." She walked towards the door.
"Hold it Major. I'm 2IC of this base if there is going to be a new training programme I need to know about it."
"As I said sir you will on Monday."
"We're on downtime on Monday. So I for one won't be here."
"I think you will sir. But I really do have to go." She left before he could say anything.
'Something was going' Jack thought as he knock on Hammond's office door.
"Come." The General's Texan accent replied.
"Sir, Major Carter said something about a new training programme, but wouldn't elaborate. I was wondering if you would tell me what was going on."
"You'll find out on Monday. All SGC male team members who aren't going on missions will be required to meet in the gate room at 0900 for a briefing by Major Carter."
"But sir." Jack protested.
"No buts Colonel. But let's put it this way it will be an educational experience and one to teach you not to take female members for granted."
"Now I'm suspicious."
"Dismissed Colonel. Finish your paperwork and go home and I'll see you on Monday. A memo will be out to you within the hour."
* * *
Monday 0900 Gate Room SGC Cheyenne Mountain Complex
"At ease." General Hammond ordered the gathered men. The female team members were all congregated in the control room to see the men's reactions to Sam's plan. "For sometime I have been concerned with the attitudes of this command towards the female members. In recent weeks I have received three complaints about female team members being expected to carry out certain tasks because they are female. To that end I have invoked privilege and created a new training scheme, which will be co-ordinated by Major Carter. For phase one Major Carter will now brief you."
"Thank you sir." Sam said as she stepped up onto the ramp. "As a few of you may last week while on a mission to PX3-092 I was literally left holding the baby while the rest of SG-1 went on a tour of the village."
"What's she planning?" Daniel whispered to Jack.
"I have no idea. But I think we're going to find out." Jack replied.
"With the help of Barbara Smart, Principal at Cassandra Fraiser's school we have gained a method to help with the training. All off world missions have been suspended for the next week. "You are each being given a box and a key which is attached to a wrist band which cannot be taken off without a special device," Sam indicated the stack of cardboard boxes which Janet was handing. "Full instructions are provided. Tampering will be detected and rewiring is not an option as I personally have been over each of these objects and can tell if damage is done. Further more if one becomes broken you will be personally liable for the cost of replacement." There was a quick mumbling as the men wondered what was in the boxes.
"Quiet, Major Carter is not finished." General Hammond announced.
"We, and by that I mean your female team members, feel that you are not in touch with your feminine sides or your child rearing sides. So gentlemen congratulations are in order as I would like to announce you are all the proud parents of Baby Think It Over dolls for the next week."
The was a large protest from the crowd.
"This isn't optional it's an order." Hammond said. "Enjoy your time, all reports are due at the usual time, those on downtime you still are on downtime. Major Carter and the maintenance crew will be carrying a system update and maintenance of the Stargate. There is nothing else to add so you are dismissed."
The disgruntled men left carrying the boxes, leaving Janet and SG-1.
"Oh Major," Jack said.
"Yes sir?" Sam said in her most innocent tone of voice.
"Would care to explain how you came up with this suggestion?"
"Sir, I will as soon as I activate all your dolls." She took the key off the top of Jack's box and attached it around his wrist. Then opened the box and took the doll out and placed the key in the back. "There you go. It needs a name, if it cries you put the key in the back and if you abandon it I'll know, because the computer inside records everything." While Sam had helped Jack, Janet had helped Daniel and Teal'c activate their dolls.
"I'd better get back to the infirmary." Janet announced. "I'll be there when you need to hide out." She whispered to Sam as she left.
"So the explanation?" Jack repeated.
"I'll explain on the way back to my lab I need to get my notes for the system updates." She smiled.
"Fine." Jack huffed as he did Daniel's doll let out a cry. He quickly inserted the key and the cry ceased. Jack shot him a look.
"What? Cassie had one for a school project a few weeks ago, I baby sat when she went to a movie with Janet." They stepped into the lift.
"A few weeks ago, General Hammond asked me if I could think of anything to increase male sensitivity and change the male attitudes around the base. Then when you dumped me with the baby, however cute she was, and I remembered Cassie's project. The General agreed so here we are. You all have a week of fun for which you are mainly on downtime, and I am going to be here updating the gate."
"You that all the marines are going to be gunning for you don't you Sam." Daniel said tentatively.
"Don't worry about me I can handle a few marines. Besides I'll let you in on a little secret. The team with the best results and the dolls best taken care of get to spend the weekend on P3X-201 for a little R and R."
"Isn't that the uninhabited paradise we found a few months ago? The one with the white sandy beaches and palm trees?"
"Yep. So guys take care of those dolls I could do with some sun." She said as she entered her lab. "Have a nice week I'll see you on Thursday."
Wednesday 1450 Major Carter's lab, SGC, Cheyenne Mountain Complex
"Hey Carter. How's it going?" Jack asked.
"Fine sir. I thought you were still on downtime until tomorrow."
"I am but I can't really do anything without bit crying so I decided to come in and do some work."
"So what did you decide to call it?" Sam asked glad to be taking a break from her calculations.
"Bit."
"Bit?" Sam asked questioningly.
"Yeah. As in little bit annoying, but not as annoying as the Tok'ra." Sam smiled. "So how many death threats have you got so far."
"Not many after General Hammond said I could have a zat, for some reason it kept people in line. We've only had one drop out so we're doing pretty well."
"Someone actually managed to convince you to let them drop out?" Jack asked. 'Why hadn't he thought of that.'
"Yes. Lieutenant Franks, the doll kept waking up his baby daughter so General Hammond and I decided he was getting enough practice we'd let him off."
"Carter, when Hammond was giving his little speech he said something about this being phase one. So what have you go planned for phase two?"
"Nothing as of yet though we have had a few suggestions for using Mac'hello's body switching device so the men can experience the wonders of period pains. But then we realised the implications and the fact that most of the men would look at what they weren't supposed to so it was scrapped. Do you have any ideas sir?"
"Not really as long as it doesn't keep me up at night."
"I'll take that under consideration sir. If your bored Daniel and Teal'c are in the lounge."
"I thought Teal'c was spending the week at Daniel's."
"Daniel wanted to finish translating something, he and Teal'c seem to be having fun. Daniel decided to call his doll George because he looked like General Hammond and Teal'c decided on Sh'ola. But I take it you didn't come in just to complain."
"No. Dreaded paperwork. I figured since I could concentrate for very long with out with Bit crying I do some paperwork since my attention span would only last that long." With that Bit let out a wail. "See." He inserted the key and the doll silenced.
"Have fun sir. And next time don't leave me holding the baby." She smiled as he left.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Major Carter has the results from our experiment." Hammond announced as he stood in the middle of the ramp.
"It's taken a little while to review all the results." Sam said taking over the briefing. "But there are some awards to hand out. Dr Fraiser." Janet joined Sam on the ramp.
"The award for worst results overall goes to Major Donavan." Janet announced. The men stood silent while the women clapped furiously in the control room. The Major sheepishly collected his reward.
"The next award is for longest amount of time left crying at 4 hours the award goes to Lieutenant Harris." Janet and Sam continued handing out awards.
"Two awards left. Firstly the award for best overall results goes to Teal'c."
"Hey buddy." Jack slapped him on the back. Teal'c accepted his award and nodded your head.
"Before General Hammond presents the final award I would like to say congratulations to all of you. You've worked hard and hopefully you've learned something. I also thank you for not threatening to kill me as often as I thought you would." There was a brief sound of laughter before General Hammond took his place on the ramp.
"The final award goes to the team with best overall marks. As reward for good team dynamics and hard work, the winners will receive a new mission to P3X-201 for a weekend's downtime. And the winners are." He opened the envelope Sam handed him. ". SG-3. Congratulations gentlemen. You depart at 0800 Saturday morning."
"We were beaten by Marines?" Jack questioned.
"Sorry sir." Sam apologised. "SG-1 were a close second."
"Major, when you decide whatever phase 2 is and if there is a decent reward find something we might actually win. That's an order."
"Yes sir. If you'll excuse me I have to return the dolls to the school.
A/N If anyone can come up with a suggestion for a phase 2 of a plan to make the men appreciate the women more. Let me know.
"I know. What do I know about babies? I mean she was cute but the Colonel had a kid, Teal'c got a kid and Daniel spent plenty of time with kids on Abdoys. But I do have a plan."
"Really. Let's hear it." Sam proceeded to tell Janet her plan. "I'm going to have to get my camera out if Hammond agrees."
"I'm on my way to see him now. I'll let you know how things work out."
* * *
"I think it's a wonderful idea Major. It will be an excellent addition to the training programme."
"Thank you sir." Sam smiled. "I've contacted Principal Smart. She said to call her back and let her know how many we wished to borrow."
"Borrow as many as possible. We'll begin the training exercise on Monday." He said as he held open the door to his office for her.
"Yes sir." She smiled and walked out into the briefing room to see her CO sat at the table.
"What was all that about Carter?" Colonel Jack O'Neill asked.
"New training programme, sir." She replied.
"Care to fill me in?" He asked.
"You'll find out on Monday Colonel. If you'll excuse me I have a phone call to make." She walked towards the door.
"Hold it Major. I'm 2IC of this base if there is going to be a new training programme I need to know about it."
"As I said sir you will on Monday."
"We're on downtime on Monday. So I for one won't be here."
"I think you will sir. But I really do have to go." She left before he could say anything.
'Something was going' Jack thought as he knock on Hammond's office door.
"Come." The General's Texan accent replied.
"Sir, Major Carter said something about a new training programme, but wouldn't elaborate. I was wondering if you would tell me what was going on."
"You'll find out on Monday. All SGC male team members who aren't going on missions will be required to meet in the gate room at 0900 for a briefing by Major Carter."
"But sir." Jack protested.
"No buts Colonel. But let's put it this way it will be an educational experience and one to teach you not to take female members for granted."
"Now I'm suspicious."
"Dismissed Colonel. Finish your paperwork and go home and I'll see you on Monday. A memo will be out to you within the hour."
* * *
Monday 0900 Gate Room SGC Cheyenne Mountain Complex
"At ease." General Hammond ordered the gathered men. The female team members were all congregated in the control room to see the men's reactions to Sam's plan. "For sometime I have been concerned with the attitudes of this command towards the female members. In recent weeks I have received three complaints about female team members being expected to carry out certain tasks because they are female. To that end I have invoked privilege and created a new training scheme, which will be co-ordinated by Major Carter. For phase one Major Carter will now brief you."
"Thank you sir." Sam said as she stepped up onto the ramp. "As a few of you may last week while on a mission to PX3-092 I was literally left holding the baby while the rest of SG-1 went on a tour of the village."
"What's she planning?" Daniel whispered to Jack.
"I have no idea. But I think we're going to find out." Jack replied.
"With the help of Barbara Smart, Principal at Cassandra Fraiser's school we have gained a method to help with the training. All off world missions have been suspended for the next week. "You are each being given a box and a key which is attached to a wrist band which cannot be taken off without a special device," Sam indicated the stack of cardboard boxes which Janet was handing. "Full instructions are provided. Tampering will be detected and rewiring is not an option as I personally have been over each of these objects and can tell if damage is done. Further more if one becomes broken you will be personally liable for the cost of replacement." There was a quick mumbling as the men wondered what was in the boxes.
"Quiet, Major Carter is not finished." General Hammond announced.
"We, and by that I mean your female team members, feel that you are not in touch with your feminine sides or your child rearing sides. So gentlemen congratulations are in order as I would like to announce you are all the proud parents of Baby Think It Over dolls for the next week."
The was a large protest from the crowd.
"This isn't optional it's an order." Hammond said. "Enjoy your time, all reports are due at the usual time, those on downtime you still are on downtime. Major Carter and the maintenance crew will be carrying a system update and maintenance of the Stargate. There is nothing else to add so you are dismissed."
The disgruntled men left carrying the boxes, leaving Janet and SG-1.
"Oh Major," Jack said.
"Yes sir?" Sam said in her most innocent tone of voice.
"Would care to explain how you came up with this suggestion?"
"Sir, I will as soon as I activate all your dolls." She took the key off the top of Jack's box and attached it around his wrist. Then opened the box and took the doll out and placed the key in the back. "There you go. It needs a name, if it cries you put the key in the back and if you abandon it I'll know, because the computer inside records everything." While Sam had helped Jack, Janet had helped Daniel and Teal'c activate their dolls.
"I'd better get back to the infirmary." Janet announced. "I'll be there when you need to hide out." She whispered to Sam as she left.
"So the explanation?" Jack repeated.
"I'll explain on the way back to my lab I need to get my notes for the system updates." She smiled.
"Fine." Jack huffed as he did Daniel's doll let out a cry. He quickly inserted the key and the cry ceased. Jack shot him a look.
"What? Cassie had one for a school project a few weeks ago, I baby sat when she went to a movie with Janet." They stepped into the lift.
"A few weeks ago, General Hammond asked me if I could think of anything to increase male sensitivity and change the male attitudes around the base. Then when you dumped me with the baby, however cute she was, and I remembered Cassie's project. The General agreed so here we are. You all have a week of fun for which you are mainly on downtime, and I am going to be here updating the gate."
"You that all the marines are going to be gunning for you don't you Sam." Daniel said tentatively.
"Don't worry about me I can handle a few marines. Besides I'll let you in on a little secret. The team with the best results and the dolls best taken care of get to spend the weekend on P3X-201 for a little R and R."
"Isn't that the uninhabited paradise we found a few months ago? The one with the white sandy beaches and palm trees?"
"Yep. So guys take care of those dolls I could do with some sun." She said as she entered her lab. "Have a nice week I'll see you on Thursday."
Wednesday 1450 Major Carter's lab, SGC, Cheyenne Mountain Complex
"Hey Carter. How's it going?" Jack asked.
"Fine sir. I thought you were still on downtime until tomorrow."
"I am but I can't really do anything without bit crying so I decided to come in and do some work."
"So what did you decide to call it?" Sam asked glad to be taking a break from her calculations.
"Bit."
"Bit?" Sam asked questioningly.
"Yeah. As in little bit annoying, but not as annoying as the Tok'ra." Sam smiled. "So how many death threats have you got so far."
"Not many after General Hammond said I could have a zat, for some reason it kept people in line. We've only had one drop out so we're doing pretty well."
"Someone actually managed to convince you to let them drop out?" Jack asked. 'Why hadn't he thought of that.'
"Yes. Lieutenant Franks, the doll kept waking up his baby daughter so General Hammond and I decided he was getting enough practice we'd let him off."
"Carter, when Hammond was giving his little speech he said something about this being phase one. So what have you go planned for phase two?"
"Nothing as of yet though we have had a few suggestions for using Mac'hello's body switching device so the men can experience the wonders of period pains. But then we realised the implications and the fact that most of the men would look at what they weren't supposed to so it was scrapped. Do you have any ideas sir?"
"Not really as long as it doesn't keep me up at night."
"I'll take that under consideration sir. If your bored Daniel and Teal'c are in the lounge."
"I thought Teal'c was spending the week at Daniel's."
"Daniel wanted to finish translating something, he and Teal'c seem to be having fun. Daniel decided to call his doll George because he looked like General Hammond and Teal'c decided on Sh'ola. But I take it you didn't come in just to complain."
"No. Dreaded paperwork. I figured since I could concentrate for very long with out with Bit crying I do some paperwork since my attention span would only last that long." With that Bit let out a wail. "See." He inserted the key and the doll silenced.
"Have fun sir. And next time don't leave me holding the baby." She smiled as he left.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Major Carter has the results from our experiment." Hammond announced as he stood in the middle of the ramp.
"It's taken a little while to review all the results." Sam said taking over the briefing. "But there are some awards to hand out. Dr Fraiser." Janet joined Sam on the ramp.
"The award for worst results overall goes to Major Donavan." Janet announced. The men stood silent while the women clapped furiously in the control room. The Major sheepishly collected his reward.
"The next award is for longest amount of time left crying at 4 hours the award goes to Lieutenant Harris." Janet and Sam continued handing out awards.
"Two awards left. Firstly the award for best overall results goes to Teal'c."
"Hey buddy." Jack slapped him on the back. Teal'c accepted his award and nodded your head.
"Before General Hammond presents the final award I would like to say congratulations to all of you. You've worked hard and hopefully you've learned something. I also thank you for not threatening to kill me as often as I thought you would." There was a brief sound of laughter before General Hammond took his place on the ramp.
"The final award goes to the team with best overall marks. As reward for good team dynamics and hard work, the winners will receive a new mission to P3X-201 for a weekend's downtime. And the winners are." He opened the envelope Sam handed him. ". SG-3. Congratulations gentlemen. You depart at 0800 Saturday morning."
"We were beaten by Marines?" Jack questioned.
"Sorry sir." Sam apologised. "SG-1 were a close second."
"Major, when you decide whatever phase 2 is and if there is a decent reward find something we might actually win. That's an order."
"Yes sir. If you'll excuse me I have to return the dolls to the school.
A/N If anyone can come up with a suggestion for a phase 2 of a plan to make the men appreciate the women more. Let me know.
