Chapter 4

Written by Quicksilver
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(Back at the OAP home…)

In the common room; everyone is sitting absorbed before the telly, with or without respective comfort blankets, bibs, incontinence nappies, etc. etc.

Telly game show host: So, the killer question once more; 'MDF is the famous favourite of which popular interior decorating guru?' A – Carol Smilie, B – Laurence Lewellyn-Bowen, C – Handy Andy, D – Barney the dinosaur?
Elderly vamp hunter: Carol!
Moebius: Barney!
Kain: Lewellyn-Bowen, you old fools! Poncy b*stard ruined the Sanctuary of the Clans, remember?
Moebius: Really? (scratches his head) The memory, you know…s'a funny thing…(mumbles incoherently for a while) Whatever happened to him, anyway? Since 'Changing Rooms' finished?
Severely palsied fire demon: Dead.
Elderly vamp hunter: How?
Kain: I killed 'im.

Change shot to slimy, dank, oozy cavern below the canteen. Discontented muttering can be heard, along with the occasional splash
Elder God: (hissing) They TOOK it from usss, didn't they, my precious, they STEALS it from usss…..but we'll pay them back, won't we? Yeesss, we'll hits 'em where it hurts 'em MOST, my preciousss….
A tentacle reaches upwards towards the messy bundle of electrical cables overhead
Elder God: We'll teach 'em not to take our precious angel of death, won't we, my lovely? They should find their OWN, yes they should…CHEATS uss…INSULTS usssss...
Tentacle wraps around one of the cables
Elder God: (still muttering darkly) Let us see how they doesss without they're precious microwave, my darling…no more 'easy-to-digest' ready-made mealses for THEM…
Tentacle yanks hard on the cable –

- back in the telly lounge. All the lights go off, Chris Tarrant zaps from sight, causing fear and confusion amongst the populace
The OAPs: What is it?! What's happening?!!
Sluagh attendant: Oh no, not that...please God, no…
Sluagh attendant 2: Bl**dy calamari again.