Chapter 4
Written by Quicksilver
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(Back at the OAP home…)
In the common room; everyone is sitting absorbed before the telly, with or without respective comfort blankets, bibs,
incontinence nappies, etc. etc.
Telly game show host: So, the killer question once
more; 'MDF is the famous favourite of which popular
interior decorating guru?' A – Carol Smilie,
B – Laurence Lewellyn-Bowen, C – Handy Andy, D –
Barney the dinosaur?
Elderly vamp hunter: Carol!
Moebius: Barney!
Kain: Lewellyn-Bowen, you old fools! Poncy b*stard ruined the Sanctuary
of the Clans, remember?
Moebius: Really? (scratches his head) The memory, you
know…s'a funny thing…(mumbles
incoherently for a while) Whatever happened to him, anyway? Since 'Changing
Rooms' finished?
Severely palsied fire demon: Dead.
Elderly vamp hunter: How?
Kain: I killed 'im.
Change shot to slimy, dank, oozy cavern below the canteen. Discontented
muttering can be heard, along with the occasional splash
Elder God: (hissing) They TOOK it from usss, didn't they, my precious, they STEALS it from usss…..but we'll pay them back, won't we? Yeesss, we'll hits 'em where it
hurts 'em MOST, my preciousss….
A tentacle reaches upwards towards the messy bundle of electrical cables
overhead
Elder God: We'll teach 'em not to take our precious
angel of death, won't we, my lovely? They should find
their OWN, yes they should…CHEATS uss…INSULTS usssss...
Tentacle wraps around one of the cables
Elder God: (still muttering darkly) Let us see how they doesss
without they're precious microwave, my darling…no more 'easy-to-digest'
ready-made mealses for THEM…
Tentacle yanks hard on the cable –
- back in the telly lounge. All the lights go
off, Chris Tarrant zaps from sight, causing fear and confusion amongst the
populace
The OAPs: What is it?! What's happening?!!
Sluagh attendant: Oh no, not that...please God, no…
Sluagh attendant 2: Bl**dy calamari again.
