Well here is the proudly presented fifth issue of th Nosgoth Times.

Chansemweje: thanks for the German lesson. I don't know all that much German myself, I'm starting German classes next September, so I'm no expert

Orichalcon: *sigh* ok, I have to find someone with the PS2 version now :P

Sarryn: yeah that was you.

Random note: vanilla coke tastes EXACTLY like regular coke. No difference except Vanilla costs more.



THE NOSGOTH TIMES

COMMUNIST PARTY OF NOSGOTH TAKES CONTROL OF PILLARS

The Nosgoth Party for the Liberation of the Proletariat (NPLP), the most radical branch of the Nosgoth communist party,

staged a coup yesterday, killing five members of the Circle of Nine and sending the other 4 off to Siberia. They then

established themselves as the Keepers of the Pillars and Rulers of Nosgoth. The new Balance Guardian, I. V. Ninel, pledged

today that the power belongs to the people and the communist party will be run by the votes of the people. He also said

that excess junk will be taken away from the rich in order than people lacking in junk may have some.

Among the Party's philosophies are the idea that all people must be equal and workers must control the means of production,

and the bourgeoisie must give up their wealth to provide for the proletariat. It also pledges full equal rights for vampires,

demons, Mutants, Soul Reavers and other minority groups. They intend to implement this by putting anyone who dissents on a

strict diet of borscht and vodka for a year, a fate which critics argue is worse than death.

Another NPLP leader, Chee Vegara, commented that now that the communist party takes power, all the influence of corporations

like Eidos, as well as other signs of capitalism, must be eliminated. Several Eidos programmers found themselves swinging

picks in a gulag in Siberia.

Other political parties have issued statements regarding this issue.

'On behalf of the Socialist Party of Nosgoth, I do respect the aims and goals of the NPLP, but I think their methods are

too extreme to aaaarrrggghhhh!' said Socialist Party leader Dvrzhivski, before dropping dead with several bullets in him

'The actions of these communist leadmmmmmmmppppphhh!!Ggggffffmmmmm!' was the opinion of Conservative Party leader John

Mmmmmppppphhhh before he was bound and gagged by Communists.

Noel Hopsky, the NPLP's Minister of Ass-Whuppin', announced that the Sarafan would be renamed the 'Red Comrades With Pointy

Weapons' and that their goal would be to kick a lot of butt.

The Fascist party of northern Nosgoth has announced plans to invade the NPLP-controlled territory as soon as they find a

leader with a ridiculous enough mustache.