Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the books' characters! Wish
I did though, I'd never have killed Sirius!!! (*bursts into tears*)
Summary: Hermione goes back in time, back to when the Marauders were in their seventh year. And Hermione is faced with grief that she thought she had buried. Will she have the heart to find a way to go back to her own time?
[Just a fic I thought of after reading 'Order of the Phoenix']
** *
~Someone She Couldn't Forget
- Chapter Two: Like a Dream
*
**
Hermione stared down into the fire as she sat in the Gryffindor common room that she already knew so well. She couldn't believe what was happening to her - she had gone from fighting with Death Eaters to hearing that Sirius was dead, and now here she was, sixteen years in the past.
She had thought she had buried her grief for Sirius, and her feelings for him, but seeing him again had brought about more pain and emotion than she had expected.
No one, not even Harry or Ron or Ginny, knew how she had felt about Sirius. Even she had thought her feelings were simple protectiveness for her best friend's godfather, the man she had helped save when they had first met. It was only while working together with the Order of the Phoenix that she had realized there was more to her feelings than she had thought.
But she had never told him.
And although sometimes, when she least expected it, he showed strange signs of feelings something for her, she had been sure that was impossible.
When he had died . . .
She swallowed hard and continued to glare into the fire, wondering what was going to happen to her here with shadows of the past, a past she had thought was buried, haunting her. How was she supposed to face James and Lily without tears prickling her eyes? How was she supposed to look at Wormtail without blazing fury? How was she supposed to speak to Remus without telling him that she knew what he was?
And how could she look into Sirius's eyes and not be able to see his fated future staring back out her, without feeling that terrible ache in her heart.
But surely her time travel changed things . . . surely things didn't have to end the same way now that they knew her - it didn't have to be the same, did it? She could warn Lily and James about Peter -
She couldn't do that. She knew that magical laws forbade interference with time and future. She shouldn't even be here. She had to find a way to get back. That was the only way. And only she, standing beside this same fire with Ron and Harry and Neville and Ginny sitting around near her, pain for Sirius still strong amongst them - only she would know the truth.
"Hermione?" a familiar, concerned voice asked gently from just behind her.
Tilting her head slightly, she automatically responded, "Something wrong, Harry?"
There was a split-second's silence and then James sounded very surprised. "Uh-what was that?" he looked at her with hazel eyes, as she turned around, horrified at her slip. Their voices were so alike!
"Sorry," she managed a smile. "Slip of the tongue. It's just that you remind me so much of one of my friends in my old school."
He smiled. "Oh well, I guess the bespectacled, untidy-haired, thin types are pretty common."
She couldn't help but laugh softly at that. "Trust me-James-they're not common at all. I'd say you and Ha-my friend-are one-of-a-kind."
She stopped herself from uttering Harry's name again, because James probably hadn't heard it the first time, and the last thing she needed to do was mention the name that he was going to christen his soon-to-be-born son.
"Were you going to ask me something?" she asked him then, glancing over his shoulder briefly at where Sirius sat talking to Remus. Wormtail was nowhere in sight - thank God - and Hermione had seen Lily go upstairs a few minutes earlier.
"Actually, I was wondering if there was something wrong," he said. "You've been standing there for quite a while, just staring into the fire - and we - that is, Sirius, Remus and I - couldn't help but notice that you looked a little sad." His eyes twinkled. "Sirius was rather worried."
Her heart, rather foolishly, leapt at his words. What was wrong with her? How could she be behaving like a smitten teenager with the same man who was godfather to Harry and who, by the way, was dead?
It hurt, sharper than a knife, to think it.
"Thanks," she said with a genuinely grateful smile, "But I'm all right. Just a little - nostalgic. Remembering some things."
"Yeah, we all do that." James nodded understandingly, reaching up and rumpling his hair slightly. "Look, why don't you come over and sit with us? Lily'll be down soon anyway, and she can show you to your room after that."
Hermione already knew where she'd be sleeping, but she said nothing, only shrugged and replied: "Sure."
She followed James back to where Sirius and Remus were, and tried very hard not to be affected by the teenage and his eyes and his hair that flopped into his eyes just like it had when he was thirty-three, only it had been long then.
He looked up at her and grinned. "Nice to see you smiling."
"Oh, cut me some slack, would you," she chuckled. "I'm sure I didn't look THAT depressed over there."
"More like heartbroken," Remus commented shrewdly, his voice quiet enough for only Hermione to hear. She froze, but recovered quickly.
"So where's Wor-Peter?" she asked, unable to keep the sharpness out of her tone.
They looked amused. "Don't like Peter much, eh?" Sirius asked with his bark of a laugh. "Can't really blame you. Bit of a pest really. Idolizes James."
"And Sirius too," Remus cut in, smirking. "Don't forget that, Padfoot."
Padfoot . . . Hermione's heart squeezed as she remembered the playful black dog that bounded around them whenever he morphed.
James leaned back in his chair, looking somewhat sleepy. "I dunno where Wormtail is-that's our nickname for Peter, by the way, Hermione."
"I know." She mumbled before she could stop herself.
They seemed surprised. Soon the topic began to wander, and Hermione answered questions about her 'old school and friends', asked a few about them (most of which she already knew the answers to) and listened to Sirius and Remus tease James about Lily.
For a moment, her vision seemed to blur and in James' place sat Harry, with Ron beside Hermione and Sirius and Remus looking older. They were talking, just like they always had, teasing each other and laughing about Sirius' recklessness, Remus' pallid look (full moon approaching) and all kinds of other things.
It was like a dream, she thought, exactly like a dream.
For it could only be in a dream that she could see Sirius again, and although he was looking at her in exactly the same way he had in the months before he died, she noticed a certain intensity and warmth in his gaze that she must have been a fool not to see back in her own time.
"Listen, Hermione, what d'you think about werewolves?" Sirius suddenly asked her, jerking her out of her thoughts with the sound of his voice as well as the unexpectedness of the question.
It took sheer willpower to keep from looking at Remus. She glanced between James and Sirius as she shrugged and said as calmly as she could, "I think they're misunderstood. People judge them based on legend and on stereotypical werewolves. What most people don't understand is that they really are people too, with feelings, and just have to be kept controlled during the full moon."
Finally, she looked at Remus. He seemed to be inexplicably touched. Sirius and James were both grinning, looking impressed. Sirius shot Remus a told- you-so look.
"I agree," he said to her. "After all, you never know, your best friend might just be a werewolf and you may not even be able to tell."
They all laughed, Hermione included, but her laughter was slightly sardonic as she reflected over the fact that she knew exactly what they were talking about.
At that moment, Lily made reappearance and sat down beside James. He immediately slid an arm around her and soon they were lost in their own world of whispers and laughter, a fact which made Sirius catch Hermione's eye and stick his tongue out disgustedly before winking, making her stifle a giggle.
Nothing had changed. Her heat ached horribly as she thought of what was going to happen to all these innocent, carefree people who were already, as she could tell from their conversations, working against the Dark Lord. She swallowed.
If only she could tell him of the torment he'd had to go through in Azkaban. Or about Bellatrix. Or -
"Uh-Sirius?" she said, almost killing herself with the effort to sound like she had just met the guy and hadn't known him for three years.
He looked at her with those twinkling eyes. "Yeah?"
She exhaled slowly. "Bellatrix Lestrange-Black-whatever," she said recklessly, "She's-uh-a cousin of yours, isn't she?"
Now even James and Lily, as well as Remus, were looking at her, seemingly astonished by her knowledge of this. Sirius himself looked quite perplexed.
"Yeah," he frowned. "Never liked her much, ever. Quite an odd, character, Bella, but then all my family were something out of the - " he broke off rather bitterly, and then shrugged. "She married some guy named Rudolphus, so yeah, she is Bellatrix Lestrange."
Hermione drew in a sharp breath. From his tone, she knew that he did know - that none of them had a clue about who his cousin's worshipped master was.
She was playing with fire, she knew, revealing information like this - but she was past caring now:
"She's a Death Eater, Sirius."
From the darkened, shocked expressions on their faces she knew had been right - they hadn't known. Sirius stared at her, horror mingling with confusion and she knew was in for an interrogation.
But if it could save them somehow, and maybe give Harry back his parents, and Hermione back Sirius - well, she was past caring.
** TBC.
**
A/N: Please, please review. I'll update as soon as I can! Enjoy!
Summary: Hermione goes back in time, back to when the Marauders were in their seventh year. And Hermione is faced with grief that she thought she had buried. Will she have the heart to find a way to go back to her own time?
[Just a fic I thought of after reading 'Order of the Phoenix']
** *
~Someone She Couldn't Forget
- Chapter Two: Like a Dream
*
**
Hermione stared down into the fire as she sat in the Gryffindor common room that she already knew so well. She couldn't believe what was happening to her - she had gone from fighting with Death Eaters to hearing that Sirius was dead, and now here she was, sixteen years in the past.
She had thought she had buried her grief for Sirius, and her feelings for him, but seeing him again had brought about more pain and emotion than she had expected.
No one, not even Harry or Ron or Ginny, knew how she had felt about Sirius. Even she had thought her feelings were simple protectiveness for her best friend's godfather, the man she had helped save when they had first met. It was only while working together with the Order of the Phoenix that she had realized there was more to her feelings than she had thought.
But she had never told him.
And although sometimes, when she least expected it, he showed strange signs of feelings something for her, she had been sure that was impossible.
When he had died . . .
She swallowed hard and continued to glare into the fire, wondering what was going to happen to her here with shadows of the past, a past she had thought was buried, haunting her. How was she supposed to face James and Lily without tears prickling her eyes? How was she supposed to look at Wormtail without blazing fury? How was she supposed to speak to Remus without telling him that she knew what he was?
And how could she look into Sirius's eyes and not be able to see his fated future staring back out her, without feeling that terrible ache in her heart.
But surely her time travel changed things . . . surely things didn't have to end the same way now that they knew her - it didn't have to be the same, did it? She could warn Lily and James about Peter -
She couldn't do that. She knew that magical laws forbade interference with time and future. She shouldn't even be here. She had to find a way to get back. That was the only way. And only she, standing beside this same fire with Ron and Harry and Neville and Ginny sitting around near her, pain for Sirius still strong amongst them - only she would know the truth.
"Hermione?" a familiar, concerned voice asked gently from just behind her.
Tilting her head slightly, she automatically responded, "Something wrong, Harry?"
There was a split-second's silence and then James sounded very surprised. "Uh-what was that?" he looked at her with hazel eyes, as she turned around, horrified at her slip. Their voices were so alike!
"Sorry," she managed a smile. "Slip of the tongue. It's just that you remind me so much of one of my friends in my old school."
He smiled. "Oh well, I guess the bespectacled, untidy-haired, thin types are pretty common."
She couldn't help but laugh softly at that. "Trust me-James-they're not common at all. I'd say you and Ha-my friend-are one-of-a-kind."
She stopped herself from uttering Harry's name again, because James probably hadn't heard it the first time, and the last thing she needed to do was mention the name that he was going to christen his soon-to-be-born son.
"Were you going to ask me something?" she asked him then, glancing over his shoulder briefly at where Sirius sat talking to Remus. Wormtail was nowhere in sight - thank God - and Hermione had seen Lily go upstairs a few minutes earlier.
"Actually, I was wondering if there was something wrong," he said. "You've been standing there for quite a while, just staring into the fire - and we - that is, Sirius, Remus and I - couldn't help but notice that you looked a little sad." His eyes twinkled. "Sirius was rather worried."
Her heart, rather foolishly, leapt at his words. What was wrong with her? How could she be behaving like a smitten teenager with the same man who was godfather to Harry and who, by the way, was dead?
It hurt, sharper than a knife, to think it.
"Thanks," she said with a genuinely grateful smile, "But I'm all right. Just a little - nostalgic. Remembering some things."
"Yeah, we all do that." James nodded understandingly, reaching up and rumpling his hair slightly. "Look, why don't you come over and sit with us? Lily'll be down soon anyway, and she can show you to your room after that."
Hermione already knew where she'd be sleeping, but she said nothing, only shrugged and replied: "Sure."
She followed James back to where Sirius and Remus were, and tried very hard not to be affected by the teenage and his eyes and his hair that flopped into his eyes just like it had when he was thirty-three, only it had been long then.
He looked up at her and grinned. "Nice to see you smiling."
"Oh, cut me some slack, would you," she chuckled. "I'm sure I didn't look THAT depressed over there."
"More like heartbroken," Remus commented shrewdly, his voice quiet enough for only Hermione to hear. She froze, but recovered quickly.
"So where's Wor-Peter?" she asked, unable to keep the sharpness out of her tone.
They looked amused. "Don't like Peter much, eh?" Sirius asked with his bark of a laugh. "Can't really blame you. Bit of a pest really. Idolizes James."
"And Sirius too," Remus cut in, smirking. "Don't forget that, Padfoot."
Padfoot . . . Hermione's heart squeezed as she remembered the playful black dog that bounded around them whenever he morphed.
James leaned back in his chair, looking somewhat sleepy. "I dunno where Wormtail is-that's our nickname for Peter, by the way, Hermione."
"I know." She mumbled before she could stop herself.
They seemed surprised. Soon the topic began to wander, and Hermione answered questions about her 'old school and friends', asked a few about them (most of which she already knew the answers to) and listened to Sirius and Remus tease James about Lily.
For a moment, her vision seemed to blur and in James' place sat Harry, with Ron beside Hermione and Sirius and Remus looking older. They were talking, just like they always had, teasing each other and laughing about Sirius' recklessness, Remus' pallid look (full moon approaching) and all kinds of other things.
It was like a dream, she thought, exactly like a dream.
For it could only be in a dream that she could see Sirius again, and although he was looking at her in exactly the same way he had in the months before he died, she noticed a certain intensity and warmth in his gaze that she must have been a fool not to see back in her own time.
"Listen, Hermione, what d'you think about werewolves?" Sirius suddenly asked her, jerking her out of her thoughts with the sound of his voice as well as the unexpectedness of the question.
It took sheer willpower to keep from looking at Remus. She glanced between James and Sirius as she shrugged and said as calmly as she could, "I think they're misunderstood. People judge them based on legend and on stereotypical werewolves. What most people don't understand is that they really are people too, with feelings, and just have to be kept controlled during the full moon."
Finally, she looked at Remus. He seemed to be inexplicably touched. Sirius and James were both grinning, looking impressed. Sirius shot Remus a told- you-so look.
"I agree," he said to her. "After all, you never know, your best friend might just be a werewolf and you may not even be able to tell."
They all laughed, Hermione included, but her laughter was slightly sardonic as she reflected over the fact that she knew exactly what they were talking about.
At that moment, Lily made reappearance and sat down beside James. He immediately slid an arm around her and soon they were lost in their own world of whispers and laughter, a fact which made Sirius catch Hermione's eye and stick his tongue out disgustedly before winking, making her stifle a giggle.
Nothing had changed. Her heat ached horribly as she thought of what was going to happen to all these innocent, carefree people who were already, as she could tell from their conversations, working against the Dark Lord. She swallowed.
If only she could tell him of the torment he'd had to go through in Azkaban. Or about Bellatrix. Or -
"Uh-Sirius?" she said, almost killing herself with the effort to sound like she had just met the guy and hadn't known him for three years.
He looked at her with those twinkling eyes. "Yeah?"
She exhaled slowly. "Bellatrix Lestrange-Black-whatever," she said recklessly, "She's-uh-a cousin of yours, isn't she?"
Now even James and Lily, as well as Remus, were looking at her, seemingly astonished by her knowledge of this. Sirius himself looked quite perplexed.
"Yeah," he frowned. "Never liked her much, ever. Quite an odd, character, Bella, but then all my family were something out of the - " he broke off rather bitterly, and then shrugged. "She married some guy named Rudolphus, so yeah, she is Bellatrix Lestrange."
Hermione drew in a sharp breath. From his tone, she knew that he did know - that none of them had a clue about who his cousin's worshipped master was.
She was playing with fire, she knew, revealing information like this - but she was past caring now:
"She's a Death Eater, Sirius."
From the darkened, shocked expressions on their faces she knew had been right - they hadn't known. Sirius stared at her, horror mingling with confusion and she knew was in for an interrogation.
But if it could save them somehow, and maybe give Harry back his parents, and Hermione back Sirius - well, she was past caring.
** TBC.
**
A/N: Please, please review. I'll update as soon as I can! Enjoy!
