Authors Note: This is Buffy's POV up to when Angel leaves to go to LA.

Chap 2

He left me. The bastard left me. He looked deep into my eyes, the smoke curled around his body as he turned and stepped into the darkness, leaving me alone outside my burnt down school.

Alone.

I was so alone I wanted to run after him, screaming and punching, not allowing him to leave me this way. But I couldn't. Every inch of my body was numb and I felt as if I'd collapse if I took another step.

I knew this day would come; yet it felt so sudden, so final. I sat down on the cold concrete to think, think about our past.

It started when I came to Sunnydale. He had just appeared in my life, not that I wasn't grateful, he helped me many times. Then I learnt about who he truly was. A vampire. A dark creature of the night, my enemy.

I went after him, like a true slayer would, my stake in my hand as I prepared to stake him. Yet I found I couldn't. Instincts yelled at me but as I learned of his soul, compassion filled my body and I was soon falling for him.

A relationship ensured even though everything turned against us. Who had heard of a Vampire and a Slayer together? It was bizarre I must admit. Everything went well for a while as we fought side by side night after night but.

Then it happened. The good things came to an end.

We had sex on my 17th birthday, neither of us knowing the unstable state of Angel's soul and soon enough, he'd lost it, Angelus had returned. I struggled through those times, unable to see that my love had turned to such an evil being. He killed a dear friend and I saw red.

I was determined to take the bastard down, no matter what and after a tip off from Spike, I planned it all out. Giles told me about Acathla and that if Angelus had opened it I would have to kill him to close it. I knew what I had to do.

I chose my sword and made my way, the two of us fought, like enemies, like it was meant to be. Often he had the upper hand, putting me down and aiming deathly blows. I fought back until I got him, bent down on his knees in front of an opening Acathla. I dug deep inside for the hatred I felt and brought the sword high above my head, as I was about to bring it down, his eyes began to glow.

The soul was back.

I hugged him tight as I saw the vortex opening behind him; fresh tears began to stream down my face. I kissed him as I declared my love, he replied declaring the same. I asked him to close his eyes and I kissed him for the last time. I thrust the sword deep into his chest and stepped away, watching as light emitted from his chest.

"Buffy."

He reaches out to me and all I can do is cry and watch, as he's sucked into hell. It felt as if my heart was being ripped from my body as I take my seat and prepare to leave Sunnydale. A new sense of guilt rushing through my body.

I leave without a word to anyone, at least that way I had a chance of sorting my head out. Or so I thought. It wasn't long before duties saw me back in Sunnydale as I tried to move on with my life, refusing to speak of Angel.

Then he returned.

He was sent back to me, wild and untamed, so I decided to help him, get him back to the way he was. Again, a relationship began, but was soon doused as my friends discovered he had returned and deemed him untrustworthy.

We stayed friends but it proved harder than either of us could imagine until finally I sit here watching as he retreats into the darkness forever.

He was my love. My man. My vampire. Yet he had left, claiming I deserved more. But he was what I wanted, still want. He was what I believed to be more than what I deserved no matter what he said.

But being a stubborn vampire that he is, he believed himself as undeserving and moved away from me, to leave me alone in this wild and evil existence, to fight alone.

I should hate him for leaving me but I can't. Every single part of me loves him and always will. We had a relationship, which was doomed from the start. Maybe it was good that he left me, left me alone to live my life. Who am I kidding? I don't think I can go on without him by my side.

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