OK here is the seventh chapter of the Nosgoth Times, finally. Hopefully when SR3 comes out this won't happen!
...my obsession with dreadlocks continues
Disclaimer, I don't own the game, I don't live in nor own the Mill Creek projects (thanks God) and any flames will be
promptly mocked in the next chapter.
SOUL REAVER 3 ANNOUNCED
In an announcement that excited the gaming world, Eidos made public the basic premise of the upcoming game Legacy of Kain:
Soul Reaver 3: It will follow the same basic theme as the first two games although with more time travel and more confusing
plot twists. The main difference will be the emphasis on customisation of the game features.
'You'll be able to deck out Raziel with whatever kind of appearance fits your fancy,' said Scott Hosenscheisser, an
Eidos programmer. 'From spiked hair to a Wu Tang hoody to Tims, as well as a number of different selections of special
abilities such as the Power Bomb WWE Drop and the No Wang Chung Karate Bonebreaker, you can tailor the game to your
personal preference!'
Raziel's blue skin, lack of lower jaw and noble organ, though, will stay the same.
Fan opinions are divided. While some insist this will make the game appeal to a wider audience who may like blue
zombies more when they be gangsta, others ominously quote this official press release:
'Because so much effort and memory will be devoted to the customisation, the actual gameplay time is predicted as being
approximately 2 hours, plus around 30 minutes of confusing cutscenes, most of which don't tell or change anything about the
plot.'
Critics say that even if you can make Raziel break a Sarafan's neck with the Flying Siberian Sand Llama Stance of
Koziwakashimozuki the Eternally Wise, that you will only get 2 hours to do it in will ruin the game.
'I don't CARE if the bo' can flip some nigga's ass wit' some Backslap Cutroat join'!' said Waheem Faheek Johnson of
the Mill Creek projects in West Philadelphia. 'Mah bo's told me dat first join' was trippin and I ain't gon' get dis one
unless it got some BUTT!'
Eidos has considered outcries for more female characters, but has said that as of now, the furthest it will go toward
that end is giving Raziel a pink bikini as well as a drag queen outfit.
The customisation of the main character is expected to take up to ten hours, after which the player will proceed to
kill a few Sarafan, watch some cutscenes, go into a time machine and get a 'to be continued' message.
Here is a preview of the exciting new features available to Soul Reaver Fans:
Raziel's hair can be arranged in many styles including:
Spikes
Mohawk
Monk
Bald Redneck
Baseball Cap
Dreadlocks
Afro
Ponytail
Cornrows
His wide variety of outfits will range from:
Tux
Beach Boy
Superhero
Ninja Assassin
Nostalgic Sarafan Getup
Gangsta from da Hood
Punk
Hippie
Amish Farmer
Drag Queen
And in addition, you will be able to equip him with one of these powerful Special Attacks:
Flying Siberian Sand Llama Stance of Zakawakamakashakalaka the Eternally Tongue-tied
Power Hammer Body Drop
No Wang Chung Kung Fu Bonebreaker
Silent Ninja Cutthroat
Big Momma's Backslap
Nutcracker (don't ask)
Matrix-Whuppin'
...my obsession with dreadlocks continues
Disclaimer, I don't own the game, I don't live in nor own the Mill Creek projects (thanks God) and any flames will be
promptly mocked in the next chapter.
SOUL REAVER 3 ANNOUNCED
In an announcement that excited the gaming world, Eidos made public the basic premise of the upcoming game Legacy of Kain:
Soul Reaver 3: It will follow the same basic theme as the first two games although with more time travel and more confusing
plot twists. The main difference will be the emphasis on customisation of the game features.
'You'll be able to deck out Raziel with whatever kind of appearance fits your fancy,' said Scott Hosenscheisser, an
Eidos programmer. 'From spiked hair to a Wu Tang hoody to Tims, as well as a number of different selections of special
abilities such as the Power Bomb WWE Drop and the No Wang Chung Karate Bonebreaker, you can tailor the game to your
personal preference!'
Raziel's blue skin, lack of lower jaw and noble organ, though, will stay the same.
Fan opinions are divided. While some insist this will make the game appeal to a wider audience who may like blue
zombies more when they be gangsta, others ominously quote this official press release:
'Because so much effort and memory will be devoted to the customisation, the actual gameplay time is predicted as being
approximately 2 hours, plus around 30 minutes of confusing cutscenes, most of which don't tell or change anything about the
plot.'
Critics say that even if you can make Raziel break a Sarafan's neck with the Flying Siberian Sand Llama Stance of
Koziwakashimozuki the Eternally Wise, that you will only get 2 hours to do it in will ruin the game.
'I don't CARE if the bo' can flip some nigga's ass wit' some Backslap Cutroat join'!' said Waheem Faheek Johnson of
the Mill Creek projects in West Philadelphia. 'Mah bo's told me dat first join' was trippin and I ain't gon' get dis one
unless it got some BUTT!'
Eidos has considered outcries for more female characters, but has said that as of now, the furthest it will go toward
that end is giving Raziel a pink bikini as well as a drag queen outfit.
The customisation of the main character is expected to take up to ten hours, after which the player will proceed to
kill a few Sarafan, watch some cutscenes, go into a time machine and get a 'to be continued' message.
Here is a preview of the exciting new features available to Soul Reaver Fans:
Raziel's hair can be arranged in many styles including:
Spikes
Mohawk
Monk
Bald Redneck
Baseball Cap
Dreadlocks
Afro
Ponytail
Cornrows
His wide variety of outfits will range from:
Tux
Beach Boy
Superhero
Ninja Assassin
Nostalgic Sarafan Getup
Gangsta from da Hood
Punk
Hippie
Amish Farmer
Drag Queen
And in addition, you will be able to equip him with one of these powerful Special Attacks:
Flying Siberian Sand Llama Stance of Zakawakamakashakalaka the Eternally Tongue-tied
Power Hammer Body Drop
No Wang Chung Kung Fu Bonebreaker
Silent Ninja Cutthroat
Big Momma's Backslap
Nutcracker (don't ask)
Matrix-Whuppin'
