OK here is the seventh chapter of the Nosgoth Times, finally. Hopefully when SR3 comes out this won't happen!
...my obsession with dreadlocks continues

Disclaimer, I don't own the game, I don't live in nor own the Mill Creek projects (thanks God) and any flames will be

promptly mocked in the next chapter.


SOUL REAVER 3 ANNOUNCED

In an announcement that excited the gaming world, Eidos made public the basic premise of the upcoming game Legacy of Kain:

Soul Reaver 3: It will follow the same basic theme as the first two games although with more time travel and more confusing

plot twists. The main difference will be the emphasis on customisation of the game features.

'You'll be able to deck out Raziel with whatever kind of appearance fits your fancy,' said Scott Hosenscheisser, an

Eidos programmer. 'From spiked hair to a Wu Tang hoody to Tims, as well as a number of different selections of special

abilities such as the Power Bomb WWE Drop and the No Wang Chung Karate Bonebreaker, you can tailor the game to your

personal preference!'

Raziel's blue skin, lack of lower jaw and noble organ, though, will stay the same.

Fan opinions are divided. While some insist this will make the game appeal to a wider audience who may like blue

zombies more when they be gangsta, others ominously quote this official press release:

'Because so much effort and memory will be devoted to the customisation, the actual gameplay time is predicted as being

approximately 2 hours, plus around 30 minutes of confusing cutscenes, most of which don't tell or change anything about the

plot.'

Critics say that even if you can make Raziel break a Sarafan's neck with the Flying Siberian Sand Llama Stance of

Koziwakashimozuki the Eternally Wise, that you will only get 2 hours to do it in will ruin the game.

'I don't CARE if the bo' can flip some nigga's ass wit' some Backslap Cutroat join'!' said Waheem Faheek Johnson of

the Mill Creek projects in West Philadelphia. 'Mah bo's told me dat first join' was trippin and I ain't gon' get dis one

unless it got some BUTT!'

Eidos has considered outcries for more female characters, but has said that as of now, the furthest it will go toward

that end is giving Raziel a pink bikini as well as a drag queen outfit.

The customisation of the main character is expected to take up to ten hours, after which the player will proceed to

kill a few Sarafan, watch some cutscenes, go into a time machine and get a 'to be continued' message.

Here is a preview of the exciting new features available to Soul Reaver Fans:

Raziel's hair can be arranged in many styles including:

Spikes

Mohawk

Monk

Bald Redneck

Baseball Cap

Dreadlocks

Afro

Ponytail

Cornrows


His wide variety of outfits will range from:

Tux

Beach Boy

Superhero

Ninja Assassin

Nostalgic Sarafan Getup

Gangsta from da Hood

Punk

Hippie

Amish Farmer

Drag Queen

And in addition, you will be able to equip him with one of these powerful Special Attacks:

Flying Siberian Sand Llama Stance of Zakawakamakashakalaka the Eternally Tongue-tied

Power Hammer Body Drop

No Wang Chung Kung Fu Bonebreaker

Silent Ninja Cutthroat

Big Momma's Backslap

Nutcracker (don't ask)

Matrix-Whuppin'