Chap 3
Blood. It tells us everything and means so much. It gives life, takes life and IS life. Nothing can survive without blood. Deep red, glistening blood runs through all our veins, pumping in and out of our solid muscles, allowing us to live our lives. Most people take it for granted.
I don't.
Without blood, I wouldn't be able to survive and it was her blood that allowed me to live. Slayer's blood. The richest, most succulent blood that any vampire could taste, a craving that all vampires desire.
Yet still she had to force me.
My Buffy stood before me, anger blazed through her eyes as she stared at me, watching as the poison began to weaken my body. She knew I needed her blood to survive. Her hands balled into fists as she tried to force me to drink, but I would not. Punches were thrown, until finally I was forced into my game face. I knew I couldn't win against her. She drew back her hair and revealed her neck to me, so soft and ready, I had to take it.
I bit hard, blood began to drizzle down her neck as I drank, and I found I could not let go, my arms wrapped tightly around her body keeping her close to me as I drank. Soon she was unconscious and I was cured.
I crave human blood now. Slayer blood. My first few weeks in LA were hell, each time I passed a human the urge to bite grew more and more, till finally he came to me and helped me fight the good fight.
My soul sunk further into depression as he spoke to me, telling me my pathetic life story. Doyle was his name and he was sent by the Powers that Be.
It was all good him telling me everything that had already happened, I just needed to know what to do next. So I was sent on my mission and this is what I have done since. Cordelia then appeared. She had always annoyed me in Sunnydale, always getting in the way and acting all cheer leady.. never liked her type. But since she has worked for me she has grown up, she'll even agree to slice off some demons head once in a while.
So everything seemed to settle down. I knew my mission and my gang grew, as more and more challenges were set. Wesley even appeared. We all fought together side by side, always being there for one another yet there was still something missing.
Buffy.
I still yearned for her and every night I was tempted to return back to Sunnydale to visit my love. It wasn't as if we never saw one another again though. Not long after Doyle and Cordelia had appeared, Doyle received a vision that meant me going back to Sunnydale.
Instantly I chose to stay hidden, get the job done and to leave as soon as possible. Everything went well and within an evening I was back in LA, having helped my slayer successfully without her seeing me.
Xander and his big fucking mouth.
Next thing I knew she was in my office, eyes blazing, screaming at me for lurking near her. We agreed to keep away from each other. Then the inevitable happened and a demon appeared. To cut a long story short, I ended up human for a while, which obviously I spent with Buffy in a bed.
There are always down sides to everything.
We discovered that my human abilities were not so great after all. I couldn't successfully kill the demon so Buffy had to do it; I had endangered not only myself but Buffy as well. I had to change back.
The Oracles agreed and the day was taken back, leaving it only in my memory. To this day I did not have the heart to tell her.
So she left in huff, both of us having agreed to keep out of each other's way. But she returned, this time in search of Faith. Once she saw that I had taken her under my wing so to speak, she freaked and yet again stormed off.
I couldn't leave it like that.
I went back to Sunnydale to find her but unfortunately came across her "Boyfriend" first. Riley. Such a dickhead! He knew who I was and assumed I was back to my Angelus phase. He has a hell of a lot to learn!
We fought, until finally I got away and was able to see my girl. She was tired and beaten up and instant worried filled my mind. Then Riley returned, guns blazing and determined not to leave me alone with her. Lucky for me, she saw that we needed to talk and we did, finally settling that we should keep in touch.
I left her that night my heart held in my hands. I saw her there with Riley. Even though I didn't like him, I could see that she was happy, that she had finally got what she deserved. Jealousy ignited inside me as I thought of them together, his hands all over her outside in the sunlight where I couldn't go.
My hands were bloodied when I got back to LA. My fury had been taken out on a solid stone pillar.
The next time I saw her I hadn't even dreamed about. Her mom had died. Sorrow filled me and although the lady hated me and had wished me to leave her daughter alone, I had to be there for her, hold her in my arms for as long as she needed, forever if she wished it. We had kissed that night and the two of us knew that it wasn't a good path to go down. I left once again, a coward as always.
Willow came to me months later, instantly I knew something was wrong and for the first time in ages I was panic stricken, my mind empty. It was Buffy, my girl, my slayer, my love.
She took me aside from the others and whispered it to me quietly as tears brimmed in her eyes.
"She's dead Angel."
That was all I could make out. The panic rose and suddenly I found myself growling low and deep, I let out a roar loud enough to wake the devil. I was blind with anger and hatred. Why had my baby died?
And here I sit, my head held in my hands as tears continue their journey down my face. I could have been there for her; I SHOULD have been there for her. But it was too late now and she was dead. Death comes to us all and her life was probably not meant to be as long as it was; yet I wanted her to live forever. Someone was going to pay for this.
I reach out in front of me and grasp my note pad from weeks before; a small black and white drawing is the first page I see. It's of her. Buffy. Her face is smiling, so full of life. A look I will never see again.
The door knocks and Cordelia enters, a glass of blood held out in her hand. I take it from her and make her leave, my dark eyes strong and piecing. She turns as she reaches the doorway.
"It's ok Angel, It'll be ok."
I throw the glass hard towards her and it smashes against the back of the door, blood dripping slowly down the solid oak. How could it be ok? She is dead and it was all because of me.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
Blood. It tells us everything and means so much. It gives life, takes life and IS life. Nothing can survive without blood. Deep red, glistening blood runs through all our veins, pumping in and out of our solid muscles, allowing us to live our lives. Most people take it for granted.
I don't.
Without blood, I wouldn't be able to survive and it was her blood that allowed me to live. Slayer's blood. The richest, most succulent blood that any vampire could taste, a craving that all vampires desire.
Yet still she had to force me.
My Buffy stood before me, anger blazed through her eyes as she stared at me, watching as the poison began to weaken my body. She knew I needed her blood to survive. Her hands balled into fists as she tried to force me to drink, but I would not. Punches were thrown, until finally I was forced into my game face. I knew I couldn't win against her. She drew back her hair and revealed her neck to me, so soft and ready, I had to take it.
I bit hard, blood began to drizzle down her neck as I drank, and I found I could not let go, my arms wrapped tightly around her body keeping her close to me as I drank. Soon she was unconscious and I was cured.
I crave human blood now. Slayer blood. My first few weeks in LA were hell, each time I passed a human the urge to bite grew more and more, till finally he came to me and helped me fight the good fight.
My soul sunk further into depression as he spoke to me, telling me my pathetic life story. Doyle was his name and he was sent by the Powers that Be.
It was all good him telling me everything that had already happened, I just needed to know what to do next. So I was sent on my mission and this is what I have done since. Cordelia then appeared. She had always annoyed me in Sunnydale, always getting in the way and acting all cheer leady.. never liked her type. But since she has worked for me she has grown up, she'll even agree to slice off some demons head once in a while.
So everything seemed to settle down. I knew my mission and my gang grew, as more and more challenges were set. Wesley even appeared. We all fought together side by side, always being there for one another yet there was still something missing.
Buffy.
I still yearned for her and every night I was tempted to return back to Sunnydale to visit my love. It wasn't as if we never saw one another again though. Not long after Doyle and Cordelia had appeared, Doyle received a vision that meant me going back to Sunnydale.
Instantly I chose to stay hidden, get the job done and to leave as soon as possible. Everything went well and within an evening I was back in LA, having helped my slayer successfully without her seeing me.
Xander and his big fucking mouth.
Next thing I knew she was in my office, eyes blazing, screaming at me for lurking near her. We agreed to keep away from each other. Then the inevitable happened and a demon appeared. To cut a long story short, I ended up human for a while, which obviously I spent with Buffy in a bed.
There are always down sides to everything.
We discovered that my human abilities were not so great after all. I couldn't successfully kill the demon so Buffy had to do it; I had endangered not only myself but Buffy as well. I had to change back.
The Oracles agreed and the day was taken back, leaving it only in my memory. To this day I did not have the heart to tell her.
So she left in huff, both of us having agreed to keep out of each other's way. But she returned, this time in search of Faith. Once she saw that I had taken her under my wing so to speak, she freaked and yet again stormed off.
I couldn't leave it like that.
I went back to Sunnydale to find her but unfortunately came across her "Boyfriend" first. Riley. Such a dickhead! He knew who I was and assumed I was back to my Angelus phase. He has a hell of a lot to learn!
We fought, until finally I got away and was able to see my girl. She was tired and beaten up and instant worried filled my mind. Then Riley returned, guns blazing and determined not to leave me alone with her. Lucky for me, she saw that we needed to talk and we did, finally settling that we should keep in touch.
I left her that night my heart held in my hands. I saw her there with Riley. Even though I didn't like him, I could see that she was happy, that she had finally got what she deserved. Jealousy ignited inside me as I thought of them together, his hands all over her outside in the sunlight where I couldn't go.
My hands were bloodied when I got back to LA. My fury had been taken out on a solid stone pillar.
The next time I saw her I hadn't even dreamed about. Her mom had died. Sorrow filled me and although the lady hated me and had wished me to leave her daughter alone, I had to be there for her, hold her in my arms for as long as she needed, forever if she wished it. We had kissed that night and the two of us knew that it wasn't a good path to go down. I left once again, a coward as always.
Willow came to me months later, instantly I knew something was wrong and for the first time in ages I was panic stricken, my mind empty. It was Buffy, my girl, my slayer, my love.
She took me aside from the others and whispered it to me quietly as tears brimmed in her eyes.
"She's dead Angel."
That was all I could make out. The panic rose and suddenly I found myself growling low and deep, I let out a roar loud enough to wake the devil. I was blind with anger and hatred. Why had my baby died?
And here I sit, my head held in my hands as tears continue their journey down my face. I could have been there for her; I SHOULD have been there for her. But it was too late now and she was dead. Death comes to us all and her life was probably not meant to be as long as it was; yet I wanted her to live forever. Someone was going to pay for this.
I reach out in front of me and grasp my note pad from weeks before; a small black and white drawing is the first page I see. It's of her. Buffy. Her face is smiling, so full of life. A look I will never see again.
The door knocks and Cordelia enters, a glass of blood held out in her hand. I take it from her and make her leave, my dark eyes strong and piecing. She turns as she reaches the doorway.
"It's ok Angel, It'll be ok."
I throw the glass hard towards her and it smashes against the back of the door, blood dripping slowly down the solid oak. How could it be ok? She is dead and it was all because of me.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
