Hello all you happy beautiful people. The acclaimed NOSGOTH TIMES is finally back for an eighth edition! In this issue, we will explore why Bob Dylan is God. Wow, that's pretty deep. Instead, we'll post some Wanted posters you might spot in Nosgoth...
WANTED DEAD
REWARD--50,000 Nosgothic Rubles
Vampire. Wanted for blazing unbelievable path of destruction through Meridian. Has ruthlessly murdered every peasant, noble, and guard unlucky enough to cross his path. Since the part of Meridian he has struck in is one long, boxed in path with no side exits, you could probably catch him by following the trail of anaemic, dead bodies, including three vampires, out to where the city gates leave for the canyons. Vampire is not know, since he is not working for the Sarafan, and not a known member of the Cabal--and we know all their faces, which is why they can't just team up and kill all of us Sarafan, even though they're pretty strong vampires, whereas a scrawny fledgling CAN challenge us, by killing everyone in his path, simply because we don't know his face. If seen, shoot him in the head as many times as possible, or spray with water.
FOR SALE
A pretty jewel I found lying in the street. There were a lot of dead Sarafan and a dead vampire around it. It's purple with a gold casing around it, and it's glowing with some sort of mystic light. It doesn't seem to do anything, despite the fact that all mysterious gems you find lying in a field of corpses tend to turn you into a ravening demon or something. If wanted, contact Manfred das Dumkopf in the Industrial Quarter.
FOR RENT
ZOMBIES
Large number of humanoid zombies, animated by magic. Can burrow into the ground and will pop out again if someone intrudes on their space. Some come armed with swords, others can spit acid balls. Excellent for guarding homes, villain's lairs, or massive puzzles. For only 1 and half price, you can buy a big one who carries a round key that can be matched into a specially designed door to unlock it! Great for letting those annoying heroes/trespassers get a little closer to your front door/boss room. If wanted, contact Janos Audron, C/O Uschtenheim Post Office.
NEED REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER
A real estate developer is badly needed to help rebuild city. CIty has been overrun by numbers of large, vicious demons. Damage includes bodies of dead piled in streets, most buildings burned to shreds, and wild demons will be a menace to workers unless cleared out. Room and board provided in a large cathedral south of the city.
LOST
One staff. Has a purple orb on the end, and a dead snake coiled around it. Tends to have adverse effects on vampires, such as disabling of Dark Gifts, paralysation, and death. I need it very badly! Please contact the Sarafan Fortress for more details.
NEED PLUMBER
I desperately need a plumber to clear out a cathedral. Cathedral is a very beautifully done, Gothic architecture, but has been flooded with water. I'm new to the Vampire Lord scene, and just inherited this baby, but the guy that lived here before was a giant fish and kind of let the place go to waste. If anyone can help me drain this water, please call! Also needed, help to exterminate aquatic vampire pests, and assisstance in removing giant fish carcass from main chapel. Contact me at the Aggravatingly Damp Abbey.
BABYSITTER NEEDED
I'm a vampire with five sons. I'm not the best parent (for example, I just tossed my oldest son into his death for no good reason) and I am needed in other eras. While I'm off timestreaming, I need someone to watch my kids. They are pretty big and able to take care of themselves, but if you would keep them from killing each other, or getting pinned up by vampire hunters, or evolving into repulsive monstrosites, I would greatly appreciate it!
Contact me at the Pillars of Nosgoth for more information. Pay is good, may include becoming a reeking, ugly vampire that skins humans to live.
WANTED DEAD
REWARD--50,000 Nosgothic Rubles
Vampire. Wanted for blazing unbelievable path of destruction through Meridian. Has ruthlessly murdered every peasant, noble, and guard unlucky enough to cross his path. Since the part of Meridian he has struck in is one long, boxed in path with no side exits, you could probably catch him by following the trail of anaemic, dead bodies, including three vampires, out to where the city gates leave for the canyons. Vampire is not know, since he is not working for the Sarafan, and not a known member of the Cabal--and we know all their faces, which is why they can't just team up and kill all of us Sarafan, even though they're pretty strong vampires, whereas a scrawny fledgling CAN challenge us, by killing everyone in his path, simply because we don't know his face. If seen, shoot him in the head as many times as possible, or spray with water.
FOR SALE
A pretty jewel I found lying in the street. There were a lot of dead Sarafan and a dead vampire around it. It's purple with a gold casing around it, and it's glowing with some sort of mystic light. It doesn't seem to do anything, despite the fact that all mysterious gems you find lying in a field of corpses tend to turn you into a ravening demon or something. If wanted, contact Manfred das Dumkopf in the Industrial Quarter.
FOR RENT
ZOMBIES
Large number of humanoid zombies, animated by magic. Can burrow into the ground and will pop out again if someone intrudes on their space. Some come armed with swords, others can spit acid balls. Excellent for guarding homes, villain's lairs, or massive puzzles. For only 1 and half price, you can buy a big one who carries a round key that can be matched into a specially designed door to unlock it! Great for letting those annoying heroes/trespassers get a little closer to your front door/boss room. If wanted, contact Janos Audron, C/O Uschtenheim Post Office.
NEED REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER
A real estate developer is badly needed to help rebuild city. CIty has been overrun by numbers of large, vicious demons. Damage includes bodies of dead piled in streets, most buildings burned to shreds, and wild demons will be a menace to workers unless cleared out. Room and board provided in a large cathedral south of the city.
LOST
One staff. Has a purple orb on the end, and a dead snake coiled around it. Tends to have adverse effects on vampires, such as disabling of Dark Gifts, paralysation, and death. I need it very badly! Please contact the Sarafan Fortress for more details.
NEED PLUMBER
I desperately need a plumber to clear out a cathedral. Cathedral is a very beautifully done, Gothic architecture, but has been flooded with water. I'm new to the Vampire Lord scene, and just inherited this baby, but the guy that lived here before was a giant fish and kind of let the place go to waste. If anyone can help me drain this water, please call! Also needed, help to exterminate aquatic vampire pests, and assisstance in removing giant fish carcass from main chapel. Contact me at the Aggravatingly Damp Abbey.
BABYSITTER NEEDED
I'm a vampire with five sons. I'm not the best parent (for example, I just tossed my oldest son into his death for no good reason) and I am needed in other eras. While I'm off timestreaming, I need someone to watch my kids. They are pretty big and able to take care of themselves, but if you would keep them from killing each other, or getting pinned up by vampire hunters, or evolving into repulsive monstrosites, I would greatly appreciate it!
Contact me at the Pillars of Nosgoth for more information. Pay is good, may include becoming a reeking, ugly vampire that skins humans to live.
