Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the books' characters! Wish
I did though, I'd never have killed Sirius!!! (*bursts into tears*)
Summary: Hermione goes back in time, back to when the Marauders were in their seventh year. And Hermione is faced with grief that she thought she had buried. Will she have the heart to find a way to go back to her own time?
[Just a fic I thought of after reading 'Order of the Phoenix']
** *
~Someone She Couldn't Forget
- Chapter Five: Torn Apart *
**
The two best friends stared at each other across Hermione's bed, and finally Ron looked away first, taking in his surroundings. "Not much has changed, huh?"
"Who called you here, Ron?" Hermione asked, shaken to see him standing here.
"Well, I don't really understand how it works, but after Harry and I told him that we thought you were missing, Dumbledore called me to his office and told me that some memories in his Pensieve were shifting around. Turns out that his younger self had met you, and he was most baffled at the fact that you were in Harry's parents' time. He sent me back here to bring you back to our time."
Ron held out an old boot. "Time-crossing Portkey." He informed her. Then he shook his head. "Come on, Hermione, you must have been crazy staying here and becoming great friends with - " he looked sad. "James and Lily Potter, and the younger Lupin and even Sirius - " he broke off abruptly again, and said gently, "You have to get past it, like Harry's trying to do. Maybe your love is more powerful than Harry's, but you have no choice - he's dead."
"He doesn't have to be!" she said, her voice shaking. "I can give him his life back. I can give James and Lily back their futures."
"And throw the entire balance into chaos," Ron shook his head. "Come on, Hermione, you're smarter than that. You've already changed some things. If you stay here, your future self will meet a twin image someday. You might wind up in Azkaban, or killed by Death Eaters. You may never see Harry or me again. I know this hurts - "
"You don't feel it!" she yelled. Then she sighed. "How did you know how I felt about Sirius?"
Ron smiled slightly. "It was pretty obvious, Mione, at least to me. It was also equally obvious how he felt about you. I overheard him once telling Lupin that people were always worried about Harry, and all the Weasleys were there to fuss over me and Harry - but there was never anyone to remember you." He chuckled. "Lupin knew too. Look," his eyes darkened. "We all miss him. But we have - to - get - past - it." He said slowly and clearly, seemingly trying to convince himself as well as Hermione.
"Oh, Ron," she broke down into sobs and he awkwardly put his arms around her comfortingly. "It hurt so much to not have him anymore, and now that I do - I don't want to let go. I can't!"
He sighed. "Then you have a choice to make, Hermione. I'll go over to Dumbledore's office now; he gave me his old gargoyle password. It's 'Jellylegs'. When you make your choice, come over there, all right? The Portkey takes off at four this evening - that gives you two hours to decide. I'll be waiting."
"Thanks, Ron." She whispered, wondering how in hell she was going to be able to choose.
"Dumbledore didn't let Harry in on it. He's probably wondering if I've vanished too." Ron added with a wry smile. "He didn't want Harry to come back."
"Of course not!" Hermione managed a scornful look. "Imagine James facing a twin who has Lily's eyes! And Harry would probably be as intent on staying here as I am."
Ron shrugged, and gave her a quick hug. "See you soon." He mumbled before disappearing out the door, the tattered old boot in one hand.
Hermione watched him go, ready to burst into tears and collapse on her bed all over again. Yet she knew she didn't have time to cry anymore. She had to make a choice. And she had to see Sirius.
She left the room and went in search of the reckless Animagus.
***
Hermione found Sirius in the Shrieking Shack, by the Whomping Willow. He was checking the place out to make sure it was suitable for Remus' next nightly wandering, which was probably the following night. When Hermione came in, he looked surprised.
"What's up, Mione?" he asked casually.
She smiled. "Lily told me which girl you were talking about earlier." She said with an edge of mischievousness in her voice that didn't quite cover up her sadness.
Sirius looked startled and he swallowed hard. "Oh, yeah?" he managed hoarsely.
"Yup, and I have absolute advice for you," she took a step closer to him. "Tell her. Tell her as soon as you can."
He covered the remaining distance between them. "I'm in love with you." He said simply.
The next thing she knew, his arms were around her waist and hers around his neck. His lips were on hers and she was kissing him back with as much desire, love and longing as he was, only hers came from more than one time frame.
He broke the kiss only when he must have felt the wetness of her tears.
"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, using his thumbs to brush away the tears of pure grief and devastation that broke her heart all over again. The raw emotion stung her bitterly; it was like watching him die all over again.
"Sirius, I - I c-can't stay." She managed to choke out. "I have to g-go. We can't be together."
His eyes clouded over. "Why not?" he asked softly, he first edge of sorrow appearing in his voice. "Why can't we be together? Where do you have to go?"
"Back." She mumbled, not explaining further. "I have to go, Sirius, I don't have a choice anymore." She paused, and then said slowly, "You - you'll see me again someday. But you have to forget, Sirius. You have to forget me and what we could have had."
He stared at her, confusion and grief spilling into his features. Hermione reached up and kissed him one last time, savoring the feel of what she knew she would never have again.
Love.
"Goodbye, Sirius." She whispered brokenly.
And she turned and fled from the Shack, refusing to look back, because she didn't want to see the heartbroken shock on his face, and she didn't want to hear him when he mumbled: "I'll never forget, Mione. Love you forever" as tears began to spill out of his melting chocolate eyes.
***
Dumbledore glanced at the clock. "Two minutes," he said to Hermione and Ron. Neither he nor Ron had made any comment on the redness of Hermione's eyes, but she knew what they were thinking.
The ache was horrible; the grief would never be buried again. She knew that Sirius would see her again, yet she knew that she would not recognize him at their first meeting. But she would go back to her own time, with these memories, shadows of her own time and her love.
"Luckily, not many things have altered," Dumbledore told Hermione gently. "Be careful from now on." He laid a hand on her shoulder for a second.
"Things will be like we never left when we get back, right?" Ron asked, and Dumbledore nodded.
Hermione swallowed the terrible lump in her throat. "And - and Sirius will still be dead?"
"Yes," the younger Dumbledore bowed his head. "I'm afraid Sirius will be gone, just like James and Lily will already be long dead." He sighed. "If only I could tell them. I do know how you feel, Hermione, torn between knowing the future and not being able to stop it. Torn apart."
Yes, he was right. She was torn apart. Only it ran deeper for her because the man she loved was lost. And even though she had to hope that Sirius would forget her, some part of her still wanted him to remember the same girl at their first meeting, even if she couldn't and even if that time was long over . . . .
*
I~ **FLASH to Shack scene in "Prisoner of Azkaban"**:
Hermione glanced at Harry and at Ron on the bed with his broken leg, and held her wand out at Sirius Black. She met his eyes head-on. The expression in them shook her to her very core. It wasn't defiance, or weariness or even amusement. No, there was some kind of shocked disbelief in his eyes as he looked at her, and for a second, she could have sworn she saw tears within those deep chocolate depths.
**End FLASH** ~/I
*
. . . . The Portkey was ready. Ron and Hermione both held onto it. Dumbledore counted down, and suddenly, with a jerk in her stomach, Hermione felt herself being whirled away from this time, back to her own where there was no love . . . and no Sirius.
She let her tears flow freely once more as her feet touched the ground of the future Dumbledore's office.
** TBC.
**
A/N: Only one chapter left . . . this is a rather short story, but that's how it has to be. Please review, and I'll update as soon as I can.
Summary: Hermione goes back in time, back to when the Marauders were in their seventh year. And Hermione is faced with grief that she thought she had buried. Will she have the heart to find a way to go back to her own time?
[Just a fic I thought of after reading 'Order of the Phoenix']
** *
~Someone She Couldn't Forget
- Chapter Five: Torn Apart *
**
The two best friends stared at each other across Hermione's bed, and finally Ron looked away first, taking in his surroundings. "Not much has changed, huh?"
"Who called you here, Ron?" Hermione asked, shaken to see him standing here.
"Well, I don't really understand how it works, but after Harry and I told him that we thought you were missing, Dumbledore called me to his office and told me that some memories in his Pensieve were shifting around. Turns out that his younger self had met you, and he was most baffled at the fact that you were in Harry's parents' time. He sent me back here to bring you back to our time."
Ron held out an old boot. "Time-crossing Portkey." He informed her. Then he shook his head. "Come on, Hermione, you must have been crazy staying here and becoming great friends with - " he looked sad. "James and Lily Potter, and the younger Lupin and even Sirius - " he broke off abruptly again, and said gently, "You have to get past it, like Harry's trying to do. Maybe your love is more powerful than Harry's, but you have no choice - he's dead."
"He doesn't have to be!" she said, her voice shaking. "I can give him his life back. I can give James and Lily back their futures."
"And throw the entire balance into chaos," Ron shook his head. "Come on, Hermione, you're smarter than that. You've already changed some things. If you stay here, your future self will meet a twin image someday. You might wind up in Azkaban, or killed by Death Eaters. You may never see Harry or me again. I know this hurts - "
"You don't feel it!" she yelled. Then she sighed. "How did you know how I felt about Sirius?"
Ron smiled slightly. "It was pretty obvious, Mione, at least to me. It was also equally obvious how he felt about you. I overheard him once telling Lupin that people were always worried about Harry, and all the Weasleys were there to fuss over me and Harry - but there was never anyone to remember you." He chuckled. "Lupin knew too. Look," his eyes darkened. "We all miss him. But we have - to - get - past - it." He said slowly and clearly, seemingly trying to convince himself as well as Hermione.
"Oh, Ron," she broke down into sobs and he awkwardly put his arms around her comfortingly. "It hurt so much to not have him anymore, and now that I do - I don't want to let go. I can't!"
He sighed. "Then you have a choice to make, Hermione. I'll go over to Dumbledore's office now; he gave me his old gargoyle password. It's 'Jellylegs'. When you make your choice, come over there, all right? The Portkey takes off at four this evening - that gives you two hours to decide. I'll be waiting."
"Thanks, Ron." She whispered, wondering how in hell she was going to be able to choose.
"Dumbledore didn't let Harry in on it. He's probably wondering if I've vanished too." Ron added with a wry smile. "He didn't want Harry to come back."
"Of course not!" Hermione managed a scornful look. "Imagine James facing a twin who has Lily's eyes! And Harry would probably be as intent on staying here as I am."
Ron shrugged, and gave her a quick hug. "See you soon." He mumbled before disappearing out the door, the tattered old boot in one hand.
Hermione watched him go, ready to burst into tears and collapse on her bed all over again. Yet she knew she didn't have time to cry anymore. She had to make a choice. And she had to see Sirius.
She left the room and went in search of the reckless Animagus.
***
Hermione found Sirius in the Shrieking Shack, by the Whomping Willow. He was checking the place out to make sure it was suitable for Remus' next nightly wandering, which was probably the following night. When Hermione came in, he looked surprised.
"What's up, Mione?" he asked casually.
She smiled. "Lily told me which girl you were talking about earlier." She said with an edge of mischievousness in her voice that didn't quite cover up her sadness.
Sirius looked startled and he swallowed hard. "Oh, yeah?" he managed hoarsely.
"Yup, and I have absolute advice for you," she took a step closer to him. "Tell her. Tell her as soon as you can."
He covered the remaining distance between them. "I'm in love with you." He said simply.
The next thing she knew, his arms were around her waist and hers around his neck. His lips were on hers and she was kissing him back with as much desire, love and longing as he was, only hers came from more than one time frame.
He broke the kiss only when he must have felt the wetness of her tears.
"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, using his thumbs to brush away the tears of pure grief and devastation that broke her heart all over again. The raw emotion stung her bitterly; it was like watching him die all over again.
"Sirius, I - I c-can't stay." She managed to choke out. "I have to g-go. We can't be together."
His eyes clouded over. "Why not?" he asked softly, he first edge of sorrow appearing in his voice. "Why can't we be together? Where do you have to go?"
"Back." She mumbled, not explaining further. "I have to go, Sirius, I don't have a choice anymore." She paused, and then said slowly, "You - you'll see me again someday. But you have to forget, Sirius. You have to forget me and what we could have had."
He stared at her, confusion and grief spilling into his features. Hermione reached up and kissed him one last time, savoring the feel of what she knew she would never have again.
Love.
"Goodbye, Sirius." She whispered brokenly.
And she turned and fled from the Shack, refusing to look back, because she didn't want to see the heartbroken shock on his face, and she didn't want to hear him when he mumbled: "I'll never forget, Mione. Love you forever" as tears began to spill out of his melting chocolate eyes.
***
Dumbledore glanced at the clock. "Two minutes," he said to Hermione and Ron. Neither he nor Ron had made any comment on the redness of Hermione's eyes, but she knew what they were thinking.
The ache was horrible; the grief would never be buried again. She knew that Sirius would see her again, yet she knew that she would not recognize him at their first meeting. But she would go back to her own time, with these memories, shadows of her own time and her love.
"Luckily, not many things have altered," Dumbledore told Hermione gently. "Be careful from now on." He laid a hand on her shoulder for a second.
"Things will be like we never left when we get back, right?" Ron asked, and Dumbledore nodded.
Hermione swallowed the terrible lump in her throat. "And - and Sirius will still be dead?"
"Yes," the younger Dumbledore bowed his head. "I'm afraid Sirius will be gone, just like James and Lily will already be long dead." He sighed. "If only I could tell them. I do know how you feel, Hermione, torn between knowing the future and not being able to stop it. Torn apart."
Yes, he was right. She was torn apart. Only it ran deeper for her because the man she loved was lost. And even though she had to hope that Sirius would forget her, some part of her still wanted him to remember the same girl at their first meeting, even if she couldn't and even if that time was long over . . . .
*
I~ **FLASH to Shack scene in "Prisoner of Azkaban"**:
Hermione glanced at Harry and at Ron on the bed with his broken leg, and held her wand out at Sirius Black. She met his eyes head-on. The expression in them shook her to her very core. It wasn't defiance, or weariness or even amusement. No, there was some kind of shocked disbelief in his eyes as he looked at her, and for a second, she could have sworn she saw tears within those deep chocolate depths.
**End FLASH** ~/I
*
. . . . The Portkey was ready. Ron and Hermione both held onto it. Dumbledore counted down, and suddenly, with a jerk in her stomach, Hermione felt herself being whirled away from this time, back to her own where there was no love . . . and no Sirius.
She let her tears flow freely once more as her feet touched the ground of the future Dumbledore's office.
** TBC.
**
A/N: Only one chapter left . . . this is a rather short story, but that's how it has to be. Please review, and I'll update as soon as I can.
