Authors note: Well this one doesn't seem to be going down to well..What is
up with it!! Someone point me in the right direction if the storyline gets
a bit weak and PLEASE GIMME REVIEWS coz otherwise I might have to stop this
story altogether!
Here goes.
Chap 5
Days past yet the pain continued to burn savagely inside me. I couldn't sleep, drink, talk; I couldn't do anything and my life felt as if it had fallen to pieces. I wallowed in my own self-pity as I began to descend further and further into darkness, those who loved me watched me fall as I mourned my love's death, they too had to suffer the consequences.
I spent my time in my room either drawing pictures of my Buffy from memories or brooding about what could have been. What should have been. Why hadn't I stayed?
Maybe if I hadn't left her then none of this would ever have happened, she wouldn't have died.
If only I had been there.
Willow had told me what happened, how Dawn was taken and the desperate attempts made by all to save her, even from Spike. But I had not attempted, Glory had not felt MY wrath.
Spike.
Jealousy fills me as I think about the bastard who had been there in Buffy's last waking moments. Since when did he deserve to be graced with her glorious presence? My hand clenches as I think about it making impact with my childes face.
Buffy had given her life for another, such a sacrifice, such as destiny. She lived and fought like no other yet her destiny proclaimed her death to be for another. Why couldn't it have been me?
Anger would fill me as I thought of these moments. WHY??? I'd think Buffy as selfish for sacrificing herself without allowing me to help in some way. She had been in so much trouble yet she had not once picked up the phone and announced that she was in trouble and needed help. Hell I would have been there if she called.
I would have been there in a heartbeat.
I decided to leave LA for a while, to get away and at least find some solace. I went to Sri Lanka and left my people, hoping they could regain some life while I was gone.
Once in Sri Lanka I studied with the ancient monks that taught me about spiritual healing and the like. Slowly the pain began to dull although I knew it would burn dimly forever inside of me.
Turns out Sri Lanka has its own fair share of demons though, as I realise my work is never done.
After gaining some kind of control over the guilt and emptiness that I felt I went back to LA, back to my own destiny, to continue my undead life the only way I knew how:
Fighting Demons.
So I continued to fight for the PTB and I felt sorry for the demons I began to take down, using them as punch bags to release my pent up frustration.
Then one night while I was sat with Fred outside, Cordelia came to me and announced the unimaginable.
"Willows on the phone. She's alive! Buffy's alive!"
With one look at Fred I was on my feet and bolting for the back door, half of me believing this as a sick joke the other overcome with immense joy.
As I reached the phone I heard Willow's voice and insisted on speaking to my girl, my Buffy.
Her voice was tired and troubled but her tone just washed over me and I felt as if I would cry. I arranged to meet her, concern welled up inside me. Had she visited a hell dimension like I did?
I hung the phone up and sank down against the nearest wall, my knees felt like jelly. Cordelia and the gang pressed me for information but I was too ecstatic to help and just mumbled:
"I've got to see her."
I stood quickly; my legs took the rest of me to the car, my mind barely able to register who I actually just spoke to. My Buffy, she was back.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
Here goes.
Chap 5
Days past yet the pain continued to burn savagely inside me. I couldn't sleep, drink, talk; I couldn't do anything and my life felt as if it had fallen to pieces. I wallowed in my own self-pity as I began to descend further and further into darkness, those who loved me watched me fall as I mourned my love's death, they too had to suffer the consequences.
I spent my time in my room either drawing pictures of my Buffy from memories or brooding about what could have been. What should have been. Why hadn't I stayed?
Maybe if I hadn't left her then none of this would ever have happened, she wouldn't have died.
If only I had been there.
Willow had told me what happened, how Dawn was taken and the desperate attempts made by all to save her, even from Spike. But I had not attempted, Glory had not felt MY wrath.
Spike.
Jealousy fills me as I think about the bastard who had been there in Buffy's last waking moments. Since when did he deserve to be graced with her glorious presence? My hand clenches as I think about it making impact with my childes face.
Buffy had given her life for another, such a sacrifice, such as destiny. She lived and fought like no other yet her destiny proclaimed her death to be for another. Why couldn't it have been me?
Anger would fill me as I thought of these moments. WHY??? I'd think Buffy as selfish for sacrificing herself without allowing me to help in some way. She had been in so much trouble yet she had not once picked up the phone and announced that she was in trouble and needed help. Hell I would have been there if she called.
I would have been there in a heartbeat.
I decided to leave LA for a while, to get away and at least find some solace. I went to Sri Lanka and left my people, hoping they could regain some life while I was gone.
Once in Sri Lanka I studied with the ancient monks that taught me about spiritual healing and the like. Slowly the pain began to dull although I knew it would burn dimly forever inside of me.
Turns out Sri Lanka has its own fair share of demons though, as I realise my work is never done.
After gaining some kind of control over the guilt and emptiness that I felt I went back to LA, back to my own destiny, to continue my undead life the only way I knew how:
Fighting Demons.
So I continued to fight for the PTB and I felt sorry for the demons I began to take down, using them as punch bags to release my pent up frustration.
Then one night while I was sat with Fred outside, Cordelia came to me and announced the unimaginable.
"Willows on the phone. She's alive! Buffy's alive!"
With one look at Fred I was on my feet and bolting for the back door, half of me believing this as a sick joke the other overcome with immense joy.
As I reached the phone I heard Willow's voice and insisted on speaking to my girl, my Buffy.
Her voice was tired and troubled but her tone just washed over me and I felt as if I would cry. I arranged to meet her, concern welled up inside me. Had she visited a hell dimension like I did?
I hung the phone up and sank down against the nearest wall, my knees felt like jelly. Cordelia and the gang pressed me for information but I was too ecstatic to help and just mumbled:
"I've got to see her."
I stood quickly; my legs took the rest of me to the car, my mind barely able to register who I actually just spoke to. My Buffy, she was back.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
