Authors note: Right I was thinking the same as many of you - Yeah lets make
it a happy ending, scrap the last seasons etc. But OH NO!! my imagination
suddenly leapt up and yelled "AH HA!" and now I've come up with something
that many of you will probably not like.. Could involve B/S slightly..
Don't panic!! I couldn't stick with it like that anyways! I love Angel way too much to let him be kicked out of the picture.. Don't you worry B/A lovers I'm sure you'll get your wishes in the end..
Here goes.
Chap 9
I kept my eyes shut even though I was awake. Finally I was happy to be lying next to my love, I just wanted the moment to last forever.
Damn those moments, for as I wished for longer, I knew that the time would pass quicker than I could ever imagine.
I rolled over slowly and there he was, lying on his side, his head leaned upon his hand as he stared back at me.
"You always awake before me?" I asked with a smile.
"Always." He answered and kissed me on the forehead.
"I have to go." I whispered, screwing my eyes up and damning fate.
"I know" He whispered back. How did he always know?
*****
As she said the words I had anticipated since she had arrived, I cringed. Just as I get my baby back, she has to leave my side once more.
Life's a bitch.
But I put on a brave face and smiled trying to reassure my girl that everything was going to be alright: That she was going to be alright.
And so she left, this time it was my turn to stand in the shadows and watch her retreating back. And feel the darkness once more fall into my life.
*****
I had to turn my back and leave. For if I had to look into those deep eyes once more I was sure I was going to crack.
Now that's one thing I couldn't afford.
I was the slayer; I was designed NOT to crack.
Months past and a deep void appeared inside of me and all I wanted was to feel. To once more feel pleasure and pain, hope and life. No one could help me accomplish that. Except Spike.
Even now I think of those moments and kick myself. WHY? Why had I turned to the undead for help? Why do I always turn to the undead for help?
I remember the first time. Yes, we were both thrown into a magical moment of singing but still I allowed myself to want him, to want to kiss him. And as we finished our last few words the two of us broke into a passionate kiss, serenaded by the distant sounds of my friends singing.
And then there was the time when I lost my memory. Burning fire inside of me had started it and there we were and in public to, kissing like there was no tomorrow.
But there was a tomorrow and that ended in more disaster than ever.
This time there was more than just kissing. This time I allowed him to touch what he had always wanted. I allowed him to "Shag" me, as he would put it. It was this that kicked off a chain reaction.
So night after night I was to be found, curled up in his crypt, fucking him like he was a toy, a toy that I could simply pick up and play with whenever I wanted. That was what was so sick about it. All he was was just a fucking toy.
******
So night drew on and I left the hut, making my way back to LA this time more slowly. I entered the Hyperion and the guys wanted answers but as always I retreated into my broody self and wouldn't answer a thing.
The months past and I found myself yearning to be with my girl, often you would find me at night, out in the open and staring up at the stars, imagining what she was up to back in Sunnydale.
Then my son was born.
I was filled with the weirdest feeling that any man could feel: Fatherhood. I would hold him in my arms and imagine how amazing it would be to have Buffy stood next to me and peer down at my son and call it her own. What a family we would be.
Then I was robbed of that feeling. My son was taken from me and I was left once again alone in this cold world and yet again I retreated into my dark self, unforgiving, lonely and full of hatred.
But then a miracle happened and my son returned to me yet he had aged considerably and now stood as an 18 year old in front of me scared and alone. All I wanted to do was to love him as my own once more.
But he was corrupt.
Years in another dimension with one of my enemies had turned him against me and I found myself in the worst position imaginable. To be a father but not know your own son.
In the mean time I had started to look at Cordelia in a different light. Yes I loved Buffy and she would always be my only true love but I had to move on. In Cordelia I hoped to place my love.
But the PTB did not want it and took her away from me leaving me to battle my own son on the shores of California. And that was were he won, were he finally completed the task set by his other "father." He sent me to the bottom of the ocean to spend eternity.
While in my watery grave my mind flashed to my Buffy about why I had never done anything since she had returned. When I knew she was dead I spent hours deliberating over how it should never have happened, I should have stayed with her. And look at me now, I let her leave my side; leave me to brood about what could have been, what should have been.
So the day when Wesley raised me from the ocean was the day I planned my return; I was going back to my girl.
Little did I know how things had changed, how different she was, how wrong was I to call her my girl..
*~* Please read and review *~*
Don't panic!! I couldn't stick with it like that anyways! I love Angel way too much to let him be kicked out of the picture.. Don't you worry B/A lovers I'm sure you'll get your wishes in the end..
Here goes.
Chap 9
I kept my eyes shut even though I was awake. Finally I was happy to be lying next to my love, I just wanted the moment to last forever.
Damn those moments, for as I wished for longer, I knew that the time would pass quicker than I could ever imagine.
I rolled over slowly and there he was, lying on his side, his head leaned upon his hand as he stared back at me.
"You always awake before me?" I asked with a smile.
"Always." He answered and kissed me on the forehead.
"I have to go." I whispered, screwing my eyes up and damning fate.
"I know" He whispered back. How did he always know?
*****
As she said the words I had anticipated since she had arrived, I cringed. Just as I get my baby back, she has to leave my side once more.
Life's a bitch.
But I put on a brave face and smiled trying to reassure my girl that everything was going to be alright: That she was going to be alright.
And so she left, this time it was my turn to stand in the shadows and watch her retreating back. And feel the darkness once more fall into my life.
*****
I had to turn my back and leave. For if I had to look into those deep eyes once more I was sure I was going to crack.
Now that's one thing I couldn't afford.
I was the slayer; I was designed NOT to crack.
Months past and a deep void appeared inside of me and all I wanted was to feel. To once more feel pleasure and pain, hope and life. No one could help me accomplish that. Except Spike.
Even now I think of those moments and kick myself. WHY? Why had I turned to the undead for help? Why do I always turn to the undead for help?
I remember the first time. Yes, we were both thrown into a magical moment of singing but still I allowed myself to want him, to want to kiss him. And as we finished our last few words the two of us broke into a passionate kiss, serenaded by the distant sounds of my friends singing.
And then there was the time when I lost my memory. Burning fire inside of me had started it and there we were and in public to, kissing like there was no tomorrow.
But there was a tomorrow and that ended in more disaster than ever.
This time there was more than just kissing. This time I allowed him to touch what he had always wanted. I allowed him to "Shag" me, as he would put it. It was this that kicked off a chain reaction.
So night after night I was to be found, curled up in his crypt, fucking him like he was a toy, a toy that I could simply pick up and play with whenever I wanted. That was what was so sick about it. All he was was just a fucking toy.
******
So night drew on and I left the hut, making my way back to LA this time more slowly. I entered the Hyperion and the guys wanted answers but as always I retreated into my broody self and wouldn't answer a thing.
The months past and I found myself yearning to be with my girl, often you would find me at night, out in the open and staring up at the stars, imagining what she was up to back in Sunnydale.
Then my son was born.
I was filled with the weirdest feeling that any man could feel: Fatherhood. I would hold him in my arms and imagine how amazing it would be to have Buffy stood next to me and peer down at my son and call it her own. What a family we would be.
Then I was robbed of that feeling. My son was taken from me and I was left once again alone in this cold world and yet again I retreated into my dark self, unforgiving, lonely and full of hatred.
But then a miracle happened and my son returned to me yet he had aged considerably and now stood as an 18 year old in front of me scared and alone. All I wanted to do was to love him as my own once more.
But he was corrupt.
Years in another dimension with one of my enemies had turned him against me and I found myself in the worst position imaginable. To be a father but not know your own son.
In the mean time I had started to look at Cordelia in a different light. Yes I loved Buffy and she would always be my only true love but I had to move on. In Cordelia I hoped to place my love.
But the PTB did not want it and took her away from me leaving me to battle my own son on the shores of California. And that was were he won, were he finally completed the task set by his other "father." He sent me to the bottom of the ocean to spend eternity.
While in my watery grave my mind flashed to my Buffy about why I had never done anything since she had returned. When I knew she was dead I spent hours deliberating over how it should never have happened, I should have stayed with her. And look at me now, I let her leave my side; leave me to brood about what could have been, what should have been.
So the day when Wesley raised me from the ocean was the day I planned my return; I was going back to my girl.
Little did I know how things had changed, how different she was, how wrong was I to call her my girl..
*~* Please read and review *~*
