Chap 11
Don't know how long I ran from you. Or for that fact, where I was running to. All I could see was your face, the look on your face when you saw me and Spike. Together. I blinked again, desperately trying to get rid of the image, my eyes blinded with my own tears.
Black Tears.
I finally stopped. I was so tired from running, my body ached all over and my face was stained with the tears that continued to make their journey across my skin.
Spike.
The thought of that vampire still makes me feel sick. To think I willingly went to him. Sometimes even gladly went to him.
I curled up, my head balanced on my knees, while I leant against an old oak tree that protruded from the moss-covered ground. What did you think of me now? Your shining beauty that has committed such an evil crime.
******
I knew she would run. It tended to be the type of thing that you would do. Run. Run like a rabbit blinded by headlights. As soon as you had to face up to something, you started to run.
I decided against following you although I knew I would keep up, good having such a good trait as a vampire. Tracking you would be no problem. So instead of following you, I decided to talk to people, find out what's really been going on.
I walked up the path of your house on Revello Drive and instantly felt a daunting feeling inside of me. What if they didn't know? What if your friends didn't know?
It was too late I had found myself confronted by your solid front door.
"Too late now." I took a useless breath of air before lifting my fist to knock upon the door.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Xander opened the door. Really not a good thing. Our past hadn't exactly been a good one.
"Hey." I looked down at my feet, not wanting to make eye contact.
"Well, well, well, look who's come sweeping up the driveway Will." Xander continued to stare at me.
"What?" Wow the red head looked different.
"O-Oh hello, Angel, Do you need me to ask you in? Cause I can do that, um." Still her stammery self.
"Come in." Xander said it for her.
This time I looked up at him; it was the last thing I expected him to do. Xander Harries actually invited me in. Wow.
I stepped in and followed them back into the lounge. Giles peered at me from the edge of his cup of tea.
"Angel!" A squeal indicated Dawn had spotted me. It was amazing to think that she hadn't really met me before, but we still had memories of each other.
"Dawn!" I replied. What else could I say?
"Hello Angel, What brings you back to Sunnydale." Giles sighed. Never a good sign.
Shit. Do I tell the watcher I came back for Buffy?
"Needed to see Buffy that's all." I answered. See now that could mean anything.
This would be an ideal moment. "How has she been?" I ask casually.
"Fine" Xander suddenly spurts out from the corner.
I cast a glance at him and his eyes drop. The room falls into silence.
******
I'm stood outside my house, preparing myself to go in. I do this most nights, I have to, I have to prepare the fake façade. So I plant on my fake smile and swing open the front door.
"Hi Guys!" I force myself to sound happy.
Silence.
I look around in confusion and enter the lounge. There they are gathered around the room and stood in the centre is you. Panic suddenly wells up inside of me.
Fuck, have you told them? Have you told them about Spike?
One look at Xander and I know you haven't. His eyes don't show anger and hatred unlike yours. But who is it for? For me? Or for him?
"Hey" Your voice is like honey but includes the bees, stinging and harsh.
I say nothing. I have nothing more to say to you. How can words compare to what you have witnessed tonight?
Suddenly the room has emptied and I am left standing alone with you. Damn my friends for disappearing at a moment when I don't want to be left alone with you for fear of the anger you hold.
I have witnessed the anger tonight and for some reason I don't think it's the end.
******
I see the fake façade before you even step into the room. I can hear it on your voice, in your footfalls; I can smell it in the air. Smell it.
I close my eyes just for a second and swallow my pain. With you, you have brought in his smell. I battle with my anger, my demon dares me to rise and strike. No, this is not how it should be dealt with.
I look at you and see the blinded rabbit, you see me as your headlights.
I approach you cautiously for fear of you fleeing, I must talk with you, I need to talk with you, not only for your benefit but also for my own. I reach you and you haven't moved, I try a smile to reassure you not to be afraid, not to run.
You see the smile and reply with the same, although its very small and pain soon returns to your eyes.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
Don't know how long I ran from you. Or for that fact, where I was running to. All I could see was your face, the look on your face when you saw me and Spike. Together. I blinked again, desperately trying to get rid of the image, my eyes blinded with my own tears.
Black Tears.
I finally stopped. I was so tired from running, my body ached all over and my face was stained with the tears that continued to make their journey across my skin.
Spike.
The thought of that vampire still makes me feel sick. To think I willingly went to him. Sometimes even gladly went to him.
I curled up, my head balanced on my knees, while I leant against an old oak tree that protruded from the moss-covered ground. What did you think of me now? Your shining beauty that has committed such an evil crime.
******
I knew she would run. It tended to be the type of thing that you would do. Run. Run like a rabbit blinded by headlights. As soon as you had to face up to something, you started to run.
I decided against following you although I knew I would keep up, good having such a good trait as a vampire. Tracking you would be no problem. So instead of following you, I decided to talk to people, find out what's really been going on.
I walked up the path of your house on Revello Drive and instantly felt a daunting feeling inside of me. What if they didn't know? What if your friends didn't know?
It was too late I had found myself confronted by your solid front door.
"Too late now." I took a useless breath of air before lifting my fist to knock upon the door.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Xander opened the door. Really not a good thing. Our past hadn't exactly been a good one.
"Hey." I looked down at my feet, not wanting to make eye contact.
"Well, well, well, look who's come sweeping up the driveway Will." Xander continued to stare at me.
"What?" Wow the red head looked different.
"O-Oh hello, Angel, Do you need me to ask you in? Cause I can do that, um." Still her stammery self.
"Come in." Xander said it for her.
This time I looked up at him; it was the last thing I expected him to do. Xander Harries actually invited me in. Wow.
I stepped in and followed them back into the lounge. Giles peered at me from the edge of his cup of tea.
"Angel!" A squeal indicated Dawn had spotted me. It was amazing to think that she hadn't really met me before, but we still had memories of each other.
"Dawn!" I replied. What else could I say?
"Hello Angel, What brings you back to Sunnydale." Giles sighed. Never a good sign.
Shit. Do I tell the watcher I came back for Buffy?
"Needed to see Buffy that's all." I answered. See now that could mean anything.
This would be an ideal moment. "How has she been?" I ask casually.
"Fine" Xander suddenly spurts out from the corner.
I cast a glance at him and his eyes drop. The room falls into silence.
******
I'm stood outside my house, preparing myself to go in. I do this most nights, I have to, I have to prepare the fake façade. So I plant on my fake smile and swing open the front door.
"Hi Guys!" I force myself to sound happy.
Silence.
I look around in confusion and enter the lounge. There they are gathered around the room and stood in the centre is you. Panic suddenly wells up inside of me.
Fuck, have you told them? Have you told them about Spike?
One look at Xander and I know you haven't. His eyes don't show anger and hatred unlike yours. But who is it for? For me? Or for him?
"Hey" Your voice is like honey but includes the bees, stinging and harsh.
I say nothing. I have nothing more to say to you. How can words compare to what you have witnessed tonight?
Suddenly the room has emptied and I am left standing alone with you. Damn my friends for disappearing at a moment when I don't want to be left alone with you for fear of the anger you hold.
I have witnessed the anger tonight and for some reason I don't think it's the end.
******
I see the fake façade before you even step into the room. I can hear it on your voice, in your footfalls; I can smell it in the air. Smell it.
I close my eyes just for a second and swallow my pain. With you, you have brought in his smell. I battle with my anger, my demon dares me to rise and strike. No, this is not how it should be dealt with.
I look at you and see the blinded rabbit, you see me as your headlights.
I approach you cautiously for fear of you fleeing, I must talk with you, I need to talk with you, not only for your benefit but also for my own. I reach you and you haven't moved, I try a smile to reassure you not to be afraid, not to run.
You see the smile and reply with the same, although its very small and pain soon returns to your eyes.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
