EDeukyo Maid Tai

By: Jonathan "ThunderFox JT" for Disclaimer:

This fan fic is a crossover parody of Cartoon Network and A.K.A. Cartoon Productions' Ed, Edd n' Eddy with Hanaukyo Maid Tai. Ed, Edd n' Eddy and Hanaukyo Maid Tai are copyrighted by their owners, so I don't mean to harm them. I'm only using the characters to make my crossover parody fan fic. I'm only making this fan fic more interesting. SO PLEASE DON"T SUE ME! Thank you for your support.

Jonathan "ThunderFox JT" Santos

Chapter 4: School of Hard Eds

It's bright and sunny morning in the Edeukyo Mansion, and all the maids continued with their daily chores. Mariel was on his way to Eddy's bedroom to wake him up. As she reached the door, she knocked on it and asked.

Mariel: "Ediu-sama, are you awake? It's time to get up. "

Inside the bedroom, Eddy was still sleeping. He tossed and turned from Mariel's call, but still no respond from him.

Mariel: "Well then, if you're not up yet, I might as well come in then."

And so she did, she slowly opened the door and entered. She saw Eddy still sleeping, laying around with a puckered up snore and a messed up bed as always. She walked to his bedside and softly tapped Eddy's shoulder. But that woke him up in a horrific way.

Eddy (scream): "AAHHH! Get away from me you crazy bi. . .huh?"

Eddy noticed Mariel and he was relieved.

Eddy (sighs): "Phew, it's only you, Mariel. I thought you were those triplets again."

Mariel: "Did you sleep well, Ediu-sama?"

Eddy: "Not really, I couldn't sleep an inch after that experience with you-know-who's."

Mariel (giggle): "Tee hee, is that so? You know those triplets; they do any means necessary to please you."

Eddy: "Yeah, a bit TOO MUCH if you ask me. So watcha' woke me up for, Mariel?"

Mariel: "Well, Ediu-sama, it is time for you and your friends to prepare for your first day and semester of school."

Eddy jumped out of his bed and continued on his way to the bathroom with Mariel.

Eddy: "First semester? But it's the middle of spring."

Mariel: "True, but here in Japan, we start the whole school year from the spring term, to the fall term."

Two maids waited for Eddy to help him brush his teeth. One was brushing Eddy's teeth, while the other holds up a cup for him to gargle and spit.

Eddy (brushing): "Ahhgw, Ihg geh ith."

After the first maid finished brushing his teeth, the other maid pours some water into his mouth. Eddy gargles and spits it out into the cup. Another maid then came and combed Eddy's hair.

Eddy: "So that's how the school year around here is different from the U.S."

Mariel: "Hai."

After leaving the bathroom, they went to the changing room, and another pair of maids helped change from his pajamas then into a middle school uniform.

Eddy: "So tell me, which school you signed us up?"

Mariel: "Just a school near town, at the outskirts of the mansion."

Eddy: "Eh, sounds cool."

The maids finished changing Eddy's clothes, and Mariel and Eddy left his bedroom. On their way, they saw Ed and Double D lively as ever.

Ed (waves): "Hi, Eddy!"

Double D: "Good morning, Eddy."

Eddy: "Hey, guys!"

Mariel (bows): "Ohayo gozaimasu, Edsu-sama, Nidi-sama. I see you two are wide awake as well."

Eddy: "How's your morning started off?"

Ed: "Chunky!"

Eddy: "I'll take that as an okay. How's yours, Double D?"

Ed: "Believe me, Eddy, you don't want to know."

Eddy: "What's the problem?"

Double D (sighs miserably): "Okay, I'll tell you. After waking up, I had an immediate "No.1" emergency to the toilet. When all of a sudden, those amorous triplets pulled out my pants to help me use the toilet and they held my. . ."

Eddy (disgusted): " Stop! For cryin' out loud, Double D. I don't even want to think about it! "

Double D: "Sorry Eddy! --;"

Mariel: "Oh, that reminds me, the maids of the gourmet division have already prepared breakfast."

Eds (unison): "Breakfast!"

Eddy: "Why didn't you say so, I'm starved! Last one there's a rotten egg!"

Eddy takes lead and the others catch up. At the dinning room, the Eds were shocked from the sight of their breakfast, over 100 courses.

Double D: "My word! Look at all this food!"

Ed: "Wowie-dee! I never seen so many butter toasts and gravy!"

Eddy: "Get ready to commence digging, boys."

So the Eds commenced their bad eating habits, except for Double due to his prestigious dinning manners. A few table scraps later, Eddy and Double D were getting full and couldn't eat one more bite.

Eddy: "Oh, man, I'm stuffed!"

Cook maid no.1: "Why, Ediu-sama, you haven't finished the rest of your entries yet. Here, please try out Belgium waffles and pancakes!"

Eddy (picking his teeth): "No thanks, no more food, and pancakes give me gas. belch! "

Double D: "Me neither, and excuse yourself, Eddy."

Cook maid no.2: "But we cooked all this food for you, please eat with your heart's content."

Cook maid no.3: "Hai, look how Edsu-sama's enjoying his breakfast."

Ed (eating): "BUTTER TOAST!"

Eddy: "That's because he's a feeding-frenzied lunkhead."

Cook maid no.1: "Please eat all our food, we beg of you."

Eddy: "I will not!"

But then the cook maids started to shed tears, staring them with their big Bambi eyes.

Cook maids (unison): "Shiku. . .shiku. . .shiku. . .shiku. . .shiku. . ."

Eddy: "What I do?"

Double D: "Don't you see, Eddy, "shiku" is a sound effect word for sadness. They worked so hard to cook all this food for us."

Mariel (wiping a tear with a handkerchief): "That is correct, Nidi-sama. Like all the other maids in the mansion, they enjoy serving their master with all their heart. But if they don't please their master, they'll become unemployed."

Eddy (surprised): "Really?"

Cook maids (unison and holding hands together): "Whaaaaaah! We'll be jobless, penniless; we might even end up as porn actors in an on-line hentai studio.

Eddy began to have second thoughts and imagined about their terrible fate. Rejected résumés, staring in front of a hentai studio and millions of perverts watching them get raped on-line.

Eddy (nervous): "On second thought, I think I'll finish those pancakes."

Double D: "Me too."

Cook maids (cheering in unison): "WAAAAAAAAAEEEEEIIIIII!"

Mariel: "That's the spirit."

And so, Eddy and Double D continued to finish their breakfast, so they won't disappoint the cook maids. After eating their breakfast, they arrived at the courtyard with their stomachs plumped and full.

Double D (wheezy): "Looks like we won't be having lunch and dinner after that experience."

Ed: "Seconds!"

Eddy: "Would you cut that out, Ed?"

Then Mariel appeared.

Mariel: "Ed-sama's, your vehicle is ready to transport you to school."

Eddy: "Oh, baby, now that's what I'm talking about! So what are we riding on? A stretch limo? A yacht? Or how about one those carriages?"

Mariel (shook her head): "Why no, Ediu-sama, we'll be taking the company harrier chopper."

Eddy: "A chopper?"

The scene skips to an airborne, double engine chopper, flying past the deep forest of the mountains. At the cockpit, the Eds were strapped into their seats, sitting across Mariel and a little cute blonde maid with a ferret on her head, and a brunette maid wearing glasses was flying the chopper.

Double D: "Invigorating!"

Eddy: "Hey, Mariel, I know it's cool letting us fly to school, but why a chopper?"

Double D: "Indeed, shouldn't we be riding on a limousine at least?"

Mariel: "Why no, since the mansion is very far from the city, it will take days to go by limousine."

Eddy (looking out the window): "I see what you mean."

"AAACK-CHOOOO!

Eddy: "What was that?"

Double D: "It sounded like someone sneezed, but it didn't came from anyone in the cockpit."

Ed: "Maybe it's a weenie-eatin' gremlin, ripping the chopper apart from Twilight Bone: The Movie."

Everyone sweatdropped after hearing Ed's stupid comment.

Mariel: "Don't be silly, it was just the air vent, it sometimes make noises that sounds like a real sneeze."

Eddy: "I hope you're right, either it was a real person sneezing or else that air vent needs a fixer-upper."

Little did the Eds know, at the other end of the air vent, there was another room carrying a squadron of maids disguised as schoolgirls, including the triplets. They were relieved that their masters didn't find out that one of them sneezed, or else their cover was blown.

Minutes later, the chopper finally landed at the school courtyard, dropping off the Eds for their first time in a Japanese middle school.

Mariel: "Now, Ed-sama's, be sure to return to the chopper after school. We'll be waiting for you all day, just to be sure."

Eds (unison): "Okay!"

Mariel (smiles): "Have a good day at school. "

The Eds left Mariel and walked their way to school, but then Eddy ran back to Mariel.

Eddy: "Uh, Mariel?"

Mariel: "Yes, Ediu-sama?"

Eddy: "I don't want to say it in front of the guys, but I would like to say something to you."

Mariel: "So, what is it?"

Eddy kicked the dirt a little and scratched his head.

Eddy: "I know we just met and all, but I'm starting to like you having as my chief maid."

Mariel: "Why, Ediu-sama? Arigato gozaimasu!"

Eddy (nervous): "Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is that I."

Then school bell rang.

Eddy: "Rats! I'm late for class! Catcha' later, Mariel!"

Eddy quickly ran back to school, and Mariel was concern of what were Eddy's last words.

Mariel (curious): "Aré? I wonder what Ediu-sama was about to say? Sateto."

Mariel returned to the chopper and then she closed the hatch. She asks the maid wearing the glasses, green blouse and white apron.

Mariel: "Ikuyo-san, have the squadron been deployed?"

Ikuyo: "Affirmative. And they didn't suspect a thing."

Mariel: "Excellent, we will begin Operation: Help and Assist, immediately."

Ikuyo pushed a green button and transformed the cockpit into an operation room with computers, nerve tracking system, communication system, and monitors revealing the entire school and the Ed's whereabouts.

Mariel: "It's our duty to make sure Ediu-sama and his friends are having a great time on their first day of school. It's a good thing we deployed our finest undercover maids to dress up as classmates to follow their every move."

Ikuyo: "Sodewa ne. Sometimes I amaze myself, or my name isn't Ikuyo, lead maid of the Edeukyo Department of Technology."

Back at a certain classroom, the teacher was introducing the Eds to the class.

Teacher: "Class, I like you to give a warm welcome to our new foreign students from America. Boys, please introduce yourselves."

Ed (wiggles his fingers): "Hello, my name is Ed."

Double D: "My name's Eddward, but you can call me Double D."

Eddy: "And I'm Eddy, grandnephew of the late Echigo Edeukyo, and I'm DA' MAN!"

Students (unison): "Ohayo!"

Teacher: "Very good! Okay, boys, you may be seated over there."

The Eds followed through the rows of seated students and took their desks. But one of the students, who's actually an Edeukyo Maid in disguise, hid herself and used a hidden speaker and hearing piece to report back the chopper.

Schoolgirl maid no.1: "SGM1 to Mariel, our masters have entered the classroom and taken their desks. Over."

Mariel (through the speaker): "Copy that SGM1, their vital signs are green after their introduction, very good for their first day. Report back for further information."

Schoolgirl maid no.1: "Roger."

The 1st period begins with Algebra.

Teacher: "Okay, class. Today, we will continue the basics of factorizing equations. Now then, who can factor 63-35x+42y?"

Everyone raised his or her hands, including Double D.

Teacher: "Hmm, let's see. How about. . .Ed!"

Everyone stared at the butter toast brained Ed.

Ed (turns his head in a confused look): "Um, m-me?"

Teacher: "Yes, you."

Double D: "Come on, Ed. You better do what the teacher said."

Eddy: "Oh, this I gotta' see."

Ed slowly walked up to the blackboard with the algebra problem. He started to sweat nervously while holding up the chalk since he's bad at math. (TFJT: We all know he's no rocket scientist, huh?)

Back at the chopper, yellow lights started to flash from a semi-image of Ed in the computer screen.

Mariel: "Oh dear, I'm picking high discomfort levels from Edsu-sama's nervous system, initiate plan Alpha to help him answer the math problem."

Schoolgirl maids (unison and quietly): "Ho!"

The schoolgirl maids put on their flash proof sunglasses and released a flash bomb around the room, temporarily blinding the class body.

Teacher: "Iya, that light!"

Eddy: "Where it came from?"

One of the maids secretly answered the problem and quickly rushed back to her desk. After the flash faded, everything was back to normal.

Teacher: "Huh, what happened? Hmm, must've been a power surge. Okay, Ed, let's see what's your answer."

Ed: "But, teacher, I haven't even. . ."

The teacher looks at the blackboard and saw his answer.

Teacher: "Why, Ed? Your answer is correct! The answer is 7(9-5x+6y)"

Ed (confused): "I did it?"

Eddy (surprised): "He did it?"

Double D: "Good show, fine fellow!"

Ed (runs around in excitement): "YIP, YIP, WAHOOO! Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat!"

Schoolgirl maid no.2: "Math class accomplished, Mariel-senpai!"

Mariel: "Well done, only a few more periods to go."

Eddy: "I don't believe it! Tell me this isn't happening?"

A few periods later, The Eds were walking by the hallway during lunch break.

Eddy: "Whoa, this is getting too weird, Double D."

Double D: "Our presence in this school is rapped in an enigma, I'm afraid."

Eddy: "Tell me about it, weird stuff's been happening since we got here: lumpy scored a math problem after the lights went crazy, and I gotten an A+ on my science pop quiz after a smokescreen, I stink in science for cryin' out loud!"

Double D: "It's true that you lack in scientific notations and physics, and miraculously passed it, but at least nothing out of the ordinary happened to me."

Eddy: "Oh Yeah? What about the time at Literature class when you handed out your poem and read it to everyone. Every girl from that class went gaa- gaa over that last line."

Double D: "For your information, I didn't wrote that poem, but it had my handwriting and everything. My poem was mundane by the time I finished it, after that, I accidentally bumped into one of the students after she handed over hers, but she looks seemingly familiar. This is really strange."

Ed: "We're being watched by aliens! Maybe the schoolgirls are spies from the planet Bacon and they want to suck the guts from our marrow."

Eddy (sarcastic): "Gee, Ed, what ever gave you that idea?"

Ed: "Because we are being followed by girls from before that I don't recognize, but I do."

Ed points at the same schoolgirls from the last three periods, which were really Edeukyo Maids in disguise. They turned away nervously and sweatdropped, not to let them recognize who they really are.

Eddy: "Weirdsville."

Double D: "Indeed."

The final period of the day is PE class, and all the students, including the Eds, are gathered inside the gymnasium with the PE teacher, doing their warm ups. Unlike the students, Double D wheezed and panted as he try to finish at least one push-up or sit-up. The teacher blows his whistle and everyone gathered around.

PE teacher: "Okay, class, listen up! Now that we've finished with our warm ups, our "Sport of The Day" will be that ever popular slam dunkin' game, Basketball!"

All (except Eddy): "WAI!"

PE teacher: "Okay! We'll start off with the boys first in teams of 5 and I'll randomly pick the players for the red and blue team."

Eddy (exaggerate): "Basketball! But I stink in that game!"

Double D (snickers): "Y-yes, not only your skills are dull, boot you lack in "measurements". Heh, heh."

Eddy: "Are you sayin' I'm short? I thought I told you not to call me that again!"

Double D: "Sorry, Eddy, a tad "small" joke, you know. Ha ha!"

Eddy became furious and his ears started to smoke.

Eddy: "WHY I OUTTA'. . ."

PE teacher: ". . .Tajimi in the blue team, and last on the red team. . .Eddy!"

Eddy: "Huh! OH, MAN!"

Eddy started to sweat nervously as he stared the opposing player in middle of the basketball court. His knees were shaking, and his eyes twitched, unconfident if he doesn't make the tip-off. Mariel detected Eddy's condition, and dispatched the Royal Personal Battalion (A.K.A. the triplets).

Mariel: "As you three know the situation, Ediu-sama's nervous system is more crucial than the last periods, it's very important that Ediu-sama must win this game."

Ichigo (speaking through her receiver): "No sweat, Mariel-senpai! We got it all covered as we speak."

Ningo (nods): "We built a patented pulley on the Gymnasium roof so we can easily move Ediu-sama."

Sango: "And we hooked him up with semi-invisible wire lines, so he'll never notice."

Mariel: "Sounds like an excellent plan! Just make sure he wins."

Triplets (unison): "HO!"

Back inside the Gymnasium, the PE teacher is about ready to start the tip- off. He blows his whistle and tosses the ball real high. "FIGHTO!" He shouted.

As the opposing player leaped for the ball, Eddy was mysteriously carried off from the ground and reached for the ball.

Eddy: "Hey! What da' heck is going on around. . .huh? The Ball! Come to papa!"

Eddy quickly smacked the ball to one of his teammates.

Double D (surprised): "Gasp! I can't believe my eyes, Ed! Eddy snatched the ball in one leap!"

Ed: "I can't believe my eyes either, Double D. Boy, are my eyes twitchy."

Meanwhile, back at the Gymnasium roof, the triplets were cranking up the maid-powered pulley cart and following Eddy's movements. One of Eddy's teammates called him.

Eddy's teammate: "Hey, Eddy! Catch!"

He passed the ball to Eddy, but then the opposing player was about to jump and block the ball in midair.

Opposing player: "Face it, newbie, there's no way you get pass me with that height."

Eddy: "For the last time, I'm not short!"

Eddy was suddenly pulled up again, and jumped over his obstacle and caught the ball.

Eddy: "I don't know what's going on here, but I somehow got super-human flight, just like Goku from DBZ. All right, let's rock!"

Ichigo (peeking through her binoculars and listening): "You heard our master, sisters, let's help him win the game!"

Ningo & Sango: "HO!"

They quickly cranked up the cart and moved Eddy toward the basket in midair. As Eddy reached for the basket, he slam-dunked it and showed off his green tongue, scoring for his team a 2 pointer.

Eddy: "I did it! I scored the big one for the first time! Eat your heart out Jordan!"

One quarter after another, Eddy keeps scoring more points, while the triplets do all the work. At the last 10 seconds of the 4th quarter, all the opposing players were concentrating on Eddy, he's surrounded. But Eddy was carried off from the center of the court, and scored a 3-point slam- dunk. All the students cheered and screamed to their new star player. Even the schoolgirls were gossiping.

Schoolgirl No.1: "Waaaii, Eddy is sooo cool!"

Schoolgirl No.2: "Hai! He maybe small, but he looks so kawai!

Schoolgirl No.3: "For sure, I wish he was my boyfriend."

The guys also admired of Eddy's immense skills and all over him too.

Schoolboy No.1: "Sugoi! Your B-ball skill is awesome!"

Schoolboy No.1: "You should join in our Sports Club."

Schoolboy No.3: No way! He should join in the Kendo club!"

Schoolboy No.4: "You got it all wrong! How about the Swim Club!"

Eddy: "Come on, guys! It was nothing! Really!"

As the whole class crowded him, Ed and Double D were very suspicious.

Double D: "Ed, I'm concern about Eddy's popularity. How was he able to score all those points, he doesn't even reach the hoop for a slam-dunk back at Peach Creek."

Ed: "Maybe some 4-eyed, 8-tentacled space hamsters from the planet Ham-Ha triggered Eddy's super human genes and turned him into Eddy the super hamster!"

Double D: "Remind me not to ask you again, Ed."

Ed: "Mum's the word."

Back at the chopper. . .

Mariel: "Good work! That concludes Operation: Help and Assist. You may return to the chopper now."

The triplets (dazed and tuckered out): "Hai. . ."

They slowly gave the thumbs up and fainted. As the sun sets, all the undercover maids and the triplets quickly returned to the chopper before the Eds could. Then the Eds came back from the school entrance and returned to the chopper.

Mariel: "Welcome back, Ed-sama's. How was your first day at middle school?"

Eddy: "Weird, but pretty good."

Double D: "Indeed, there've been a lot of strange activities lately."

Mariel: "Oh, that? I bet it's just your imagination."

Eddy: "Right. . ."

Mariel: "We don't want to lolly-gag now, it's time to return home."

Double D: "I agree."

And so, that ends another story with the life and leisure of Ed, Edd n' Eddy and the Edeukyo maids.

Preview:

On the next Edeukyo Maid Tai, little Cynthia gives the Eds a grand tour of the mansion. Plus, a special demonstration of Ikuyo's latest invention, the Weather Machine. Next time on Edeukyo Maid Tai, Chapter 5: Lifestyles of The Rich and Ed. See ya' next time.

Author's notes:

Hiya, readers! Sorry I took so long, been busy with college studies and everything. But since it's already summer 2003, I'm back on track and I'll be able to finished the rest of the chapters of my other fanfics. Plus, a new fanfic based on my favorite comic book called Gold Digger and tribute to one of my favorite episodes from the Real Ghostbusters series; I call it The Diggers Ghostbusters. For all you readers, you can find it at comics: Miscellaneous Superheroes. See ya' soon!