The Bland One, a gray pony with gray hair, gray eyes, and no symbol, (although she insisted that she had one- it just blended in too well, as it was the EXACT same shade of gray as the rest of her. There was some speculation that The Bland One was really an ordinary horse, but no one had ever confronted The Bland One on this-- it was just too rude a subject to bring up.) came into the wonderful and beautiful lobby of Paradise Estate to find a very frizzled, highly rumpled, and slightly greasy (yet still wonderful and beautiful) Star sitting on the floor surrounded by bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D.

"Hi, Star! How are you today?"

"Well, I'm currently very frizzled, highly rumpled, and slightly greasy, yet still wonderful and beautiful. And yourself, The Bland One?"

"Uh, quite nice, thanks. What are you doing?" The Bland One's friendly inquiries continued.

"At the moment, I'm sitting on the floor surrounded by bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D. What are you up to?"

"Currently, I am questioning you about your well-being and activities, and discovering that you are very frizzled, highly rumpled, and slightly greasy (yet still wonderful and beautiful) and sitting on the floor surrounded by bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D. Have you seen Faith? In addition to the things I have just listed, I am looking for her." Ponies, for all their make-believe, fantasy, wonderfulness, and beauty, tend to be very literal creatures. One ponders how they could possibly have managed to capture the imagination of an entire generation of young girls when most conversations in wonderful, beautiful Ponyland tend to go like this one.

"Yes, I have seen Faith."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her for hours- not since she told me to try to assemble these bits and pieces into our new M.A.I.D. I'm rather annoyed at her- it's HER fault that I am currently very frizzled, highly rumpled, and slightly greasy (yet still wonderful and beautiful) and sitting on the floor surrounded by bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D."

"I see," replied The Bland One. "Could you tell me which direction she went or where she was headed?"

"Yes."

"Please tell me which direction she went or where she was headed."

Star sighed. She liked The Bland One well enough, but this line of questioning was really getting old. "You know, it would be much faster if you asked me if I knew where she was NOW, so I could just tell you and go back to staring at these bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D. If you continue on in this fashion, Faith will come back in five minutes from doing her shopping at the grocery store, where she has gone to purchase more delicacies and toilet brushes because we were out, and I'll still be in the middle of explaining where she went, why she went, and when she plans on coming back when she gets here."

The Bland One considered this for a moment. (Besides not being the brightest pony in the land, she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, either.) "Where is Faith now?"

Star smiled, glad to have gotten her point across to The Bland One. "Faith will come back in five minutes from doing her shopping at the grocery store, where she has gone to purchase more delicacies and toilet brushes because we were out."

The Bland One was shocked at how quickly this new line of questioning had achieved the desired results. She vowed to herself to try it more often, then promptly forgot her newly-made vow as she was distracted by a delicacy sitting forlornly on a serving tray nearby. Helping herself to the delicacy, The Bland One also promptly forgot that Star was sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D., and tripped on a bit (or a piece- she could never quite remember that tidbit of information any better than Star could.) and smashed directly into Star. Star rolled over, but The Bland One crashed over Star's head and into the tableleg. Star rose slowly, so as not to disturb any of the bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D. which surrounded her, and crawled gracelessy (but still wonderfully and beautifully) over to the Fireplace, where The Bland One was now groaning in pain.

"Are you going to be alright?" Star queried.

"Yes. I have a headache, but I think I'll be fine when it goes away."

"I didn't ask if you were hurt, or what was hurting, or what your diagnosis for reduction of pain was! I asked if you were alright, meaning you should answer that question and NOTHING else! Let's try again. Are you alright?" Star really didn't like having her questions anticiapted. They would come in good time, and when they were asked, they would be answered, and not one moment sooner.

"Uh, I think so."

"Good. Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Yes. I- uh, yes." The Bland One was catching on.

"What hurts?" Star was highly satisfied that The Bland One seemed to have understood her. She didn't like having to be so direct, but it certainly wouldn't do for someone to wander around wonderful and beautiful Ponyland answering questions that hadn't been asked!

"My head."

"Can yu be more specific?" Star thought now would be the time for a test question, to see if The Bland One had REALLY learned or was just pretending.

"I- uh, yes."

"Great! Please be more specific."

"I have a headache."

"Ah. Do you think it will go away?"

"Yes."

"Soon?"

"I'm not certain. I'll let you know, OK?"

"I'M the one asking the questions here!"

'Sorry."

"Why don't you let me know when it goes away?"

"I will." The Bland One stood up, very happy that this interrogation was over.

"When your headache goes away, do you think you'll be fine?"

The Bland One sighed. So much for being over! "Yes."

"And you'll let me know?"

"YES. I have to go- I think I heard Faith come in while we were discussing my headache. Goodbye!" The Bland One left, glad to be away form the most anal-retentive pony she had ever met. Most of the other ponies, while being very literal, weren't quite that bad.

Star was quite pleased with herself, in addition to being very frizzled, highly rumpled, and slightly greasy (yet still wonderful and beautiful) but no longer surrounded by bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D., which now surrounded a large empty area of the floor with the picture of Warren T. near the center of it.

"Ah ha! No wonder I couldn't' find the instruction sheet. I was sitting on it! Well, this should certainly help me make sense of these bits and piece of the new M.A.I.D." Sitting down in the large empty area of floor, Star once again surrounded herself with the bits and pieces of the new M.A.I.D., very frizzled, highly rumpled, slightly greasy (yet still wonderful and beautiful) and quite pleased with herself.